Cammie & Wade | Tuesday Evening (backdated)

[x-deadpool.livejournal.com]

Wade borrowed something of Cammie's to lure her out of the Brownstone and into a bit of sociability.


Cammie stalked through the halls of the mansion, following the sound of tacos and merriment, her face anything but happy. Her lips were drawn into a thin line and her fists were balled. Wade was very lucky she knew for a fact that she couldn't kill him.

She ignored everyone else and went straight for him when she saw him, even so being careful not to touch anyone.

"Give. It. Back," was all Cammie said, and then added, "Now."

Wade quirked an eyebrow and reached behind him, grabbing a plate covered in plastic wrap and offering it to Cammie. The necklace, class ring intact, resting atop the toxic tacos the plastic wrap covered.

"Let me get this straight," she said, looking down at the plate, "You took this to get me to eat tacos?" she asked, looking back up at Wade with a raised eyebrow.

"To get you out of your apartment so you could eat tacos," Wade corrected, looking around for a moment before spotting the bottle he was looking for. "There's antifreeze near the sink and whatever else you might be able to find under it." He wiggled the plate a little, just under her chin.

"What the fuck happened to 'I will fill your apartment with squares!'?" she returned, stealing the plate because it had the ring on it, even if she'd have to get to the tacos to get to the ring on a chain.

"You didn't seem adequately concerned about the squares," Wade said. "Though I can totally still do that, if you had your heart set on it." The hustle and bustle of the kitchen, temporarily interrupted by Cammie's arrival, picked back up again when it became apparent that she wasn't going to actually try to kill him. "The necklace is in a baggie, by the way. I didn't figure you'd want moldy cheese getting on the ring."

"Yeah, I would be less happy about it being messed up," she only took it off because of her habit of occasionally going out after work and in a mosh pit or anything else like that, it was something someone could find and grab and hold on to. She had a feeling she'd be wearing it the next few days just to make sure it didn't get taken again.

Cammie took the plastic off the plate, refusing to admit that the tacos actually smelled decent, maybe even good.

Wade nodded, then tilted his head to the side just a bit. "I wanna show you something. I'll eventually need an accurate read of your average toxicity for this to work, but I figure showing you now wouldn't be like. Detrimental to the project or anything. Interested? You can bring the tacos with."

"If your adoring public won't miss you, what the fuck ever," Cammie said, pocketing the plastic bag with the ring in it, when the plate was empty she'd put it on and keep it under her shirt and not take it off for a few weeks. When something was all you had left of someone...

"Sweet," Wade said, leading the way out into the hallway with a wave to Lorna. His laptop was in the rec room and he sat down on the couch in front of it, opening it and typing in the passwords he needed. Then he pulled up the specs he'd had Weasel send over earlier that afternoon and turned the laptop so Cammie could see. "Biometric fingerprint scanner built into a fireproof, waterproof, nuclear bomb-proof safe. Thoughts?"

No, she wasn't talking around a mouthful of taco, "The fuck is this supposed to be?" she asked. A safe? Why was he showing her a safe?

"Dude, I broke into your apartment and yoinked a necklace that apparently means a lot to you. Which I'm sorry for, I didn't realize it was that significant. But I did it and I figured I'd see about making it up to you as best I can by making sure that whatever you don't want vulnerable won't be vulnerable." Wade shrugged. "And, y'know. I thought I'd ask what I could do to make up for nabbing the necklace. But the safe is yours regardless. I just need to send your biometrics, specifically your average toxicity levels, to my man the Wheeze."

"The damn thing was hanging on a tackboard next to a picture of my dea-of a late friend," Cammie snapped. Unless she had left it on her desk again. On second thought that was entirely possible. She shook her head, "Fine, I'll give that to you. But you only feel safe giving it to me because I live on the first floor and can't push it out the window on your fat head. Admit it."

Wade snorted. "Sure, we'll go with that. And also the fact that you probably wouldn't be able to lift it, even if you were on the third floor. What's the point of a safe that somebody can carry off?"

"The point of a safe you can carry somewhere is to throw it out the window at people who annoy you," Cammie said sagely.

"Lies," Wade said, though he was smiling again. "All lies." He turned the laptop back around and closed out of the specs, then shut the whole thing down again and put it back on the table. "I'm sorry I took the necklace."

"Yeah, well, next time just stick to the squares. Or a room with a moose. I've always wanted to make my place one large Invader Zim reference and I'm sure the old guy I live next to would be tickled pink," Cammie said around another mouthful of not-taco. No, she wasn't eating these. It was protest.

"Right, Mr. Barnes. With the crazy, brainwashed daughter who escaped from her secure facility and may or may not be trying to track all of us down for some kind of bizarre revenge. Probably, though, she just wants to shoot me for singing 'In Your Eyes' at her," Wade said, nodding. Then he quirked his eyebrow again. "You want anything particularly poisonous on your tacos?"

"Fuck you, I'm not eating these," she lied.

"Are you sure? Cause I think at least half of one is gone," Wade pointed out, eyeing the plate.

"Now you're fucking calling me a liar?" she returned, gesturing with said half a taco.

"Of course not. Obviously you slipped and fell on the taco. It got wedged in your mouth and it was either bite it off or suffocate. Totally self-preservation there. Not really eating," Wade deadpanned, watching Cammie wave the taco around.

"Wouldn't be any worse than the time I tripped, fell and landed on a dick," yes, she went there.

"Face-first?" Wade shook his head, expression sad. "We're going to need to work on your coordination, chickadee. We can't keep having you tripping, falling, and landing on things you don't want in your mouth. Though I'm not sure what your explanation is for why the second half is gone now."

"It was threatening me."

"With deliciousness?"

"They're okay," she said, which was in part true. The stupid things were actually really good, but she wasn't going to say that.

Wade smiled. "That's all I'm gonna get, isn't it?"

"Yeah, so fucking deal with it," Cammie said.

"I think I can manage that," Wade said, standing up. "Now are you coming back to the kitchen to see Tabs and maybe chill for a bit, since you are here now, anyway?"

"Fuck you, I do what I want," Cammie returned, flipping him off with her free hand but her voice wasn't as venomous as it could be, "If she is here and we start a fight, it's on your fat head."

"My head is, in fact, svelte," Wade corrected, reaching over to tug on a lock of Cammie's hair. "C'mon, there's more tacos for you. I don't care if you brawl, just don't break the grill."

"No, your head is really fucking fat," Cammie returned, trying to dodge out of the way of the hairgrab and not quite making it, "whatever."

Wade grinned because he knew he'd won. "To the kitchens, chickadee! Where you can experiment with rat poison and weird things from under the sink. I find your taco toppings fascinating. Let's go explore!" And with that, the mercenary was off, knowing Cammie would come along with him, if only to get at the other tacos he'd promised her.