Clint and Maddie (Backdated to Dec 15)

[x-pryor.livejournal.com]

Maddie comes after a sulking Clint to bring him a blanket, hot cocoa, and a dose of brutal honesty.






Clint's phone buzzed and he checked it almost absently - another text message from Andre. It wasn't that he was purposefully avoiding talking to his foster fathers... or well. No. It was. It was definitely that. But it wasn't their fault, really. He just... there were issues. And they knew that. They just didn't see the need to leave him to deal with his issues by himself. Switching his phone to silence, he flipped it over so he wouldn't see the screen light up, then thought better of that and just shoved it into his pocket.

Feet dangling off the edge of the roof, he tucked his hands into his armpits to keep warm and settled in for another hour or so of staring up at the sky and out over the grounds. Clint couldn't really feel his nose anymore, but that wasn't all that important. He just needed to try and clear his head a bit more.

If he was hiding, he certainly wasn't doing a very good job of it, because someone had walked up beside him and sat down. "You're gonna freeze your ass off," Maddie commented, reaching up and draping her blanket over his shoulders. Even without using her telepathic abilities, Maddie knew something was wrong with her friend. Ever since his birthday he had been quiet, and almost moody really, neither of which suited him at all. And it was up to her to make him feel better.

"Now," she slugged off her backpack, pulled out the thermos of hot chocolate, and poured some into the cap. "What's wrong?"

Clint quirked a small smile despite himself and shifted the blanket until there was enough that Maddie could share if she wanted. "I dunno," he said, taking the cap of hot chocolate and drinking a little. "This is good," he said. "Thanks." Then, he shrugged and muttered, "But yeah. I dunno. I guess nothing's really wrong, it's just." He rubbed at the back of his neck with his free hand. "Andre and Steve told me on my birthday that they want to like. Actually adopt me. All the way, make it official and stuff."

"Dude!" The exclamation was punctuated by a good-natured, enthusiastic punch to Clint's arm. "That's fucking awesome! Wait," she frowned; in her excitement over what she thought was good news, Maddie had briefly forgotten Clint's mood. "That's not awesome." She pulled the blanket around her tighter as she shifted closer, and slipped her right arm under his left. With his hand tightly clasped in both of hers, Maddie gave him a reassuring squeeze and asked, "Why is that not awesome?"

Not really sure how to say what he wanted to say, it took Clint a couple long seconds to get his thoughts in order. "It's... like, I appreciate how they took me in and they've been the best family I've been with. They're great. But... I mean. I have a family. Sort of. I just... my brother's... somewhere. Y'know?"

Maddie leaned her head against his shoulder and sighed. Ah, yes, the absentee brother, the one Clint rarely spoke of. All that she really knew about him was that he was older than Clint, and he hadn't contacted his brother ever since he left the foster system. Oh, and that Clint still hoped that one day his brother would return for him.

Who said that guys didn't believe in fairy tales?

"Clint," she began cautiously. This was shaky ground, and Maddie had to tread carefully. "Just because you get adopted, doesn't mean he stops being your brother. He's your blood, and nothing can change that."

Clint didn't respond immediately. When he did, he spoke slowly, words carefully measured. "I understand that," he said. "It makes sense. It's logical. I just... I don't know. It's still... weird. And then it's like I'm being ungrateful or something. They're not saying that, obviously, but... yeah. And it's not like they're pushing it or anything. It's just... I dunno."

"They love you," Maddie stated matter-of-factly. "And they say you get the child you were meant to have, you know, whether it's through adoption or natural birth or whatever, and maybe it's the same with families." She turned her head, and looked up, cross-eyed, at him. "Do you remember when I made you watch 'The Blind Side'? He became part of that family, but he never forgot about his blood family. I mean, dude, he even helped out his brothers after he made it to the NFL."

"Gaining a new family doesn't mean you have betrayed or abandoned your parents and grandparents and brother. I mean, I bet the four of them would want nothing less than for you to be happy and loved, right?"

"But haven't we been a family so far without them... making it official?" Clint wasn't sure why he was digging his heels in about this. It wasn't logical for him to refuse this - Steve and Andre had been great foster parents. And they wanted to keep him. "What if my brother comes back?" Back from wherever he'd been all these years. Rubbing at his forehead, Clint sighed. "All the thinking in the world isn't doing me much good. It kind of sucks - like I'm running myself around in circles in my brain."

"Hey." She began poking his temple repeatedly with her left hand. "You're not going to logic your way out of this one, Birdbrain. There's some emotional block on your third eye." The incessant poking ceased, and Maddie pressed her index finger between Clint's eyebrows. "You're not connecting to your inner wisdom."

Clint laughed a little despite himself. "Yeah? And what would my inner wisdom say, do you think?"

She dropped her hand, and reached for the cup of cocoa with a shrug. "How should I know," she asked, taking a sip. "I'm not a mind reader."

Pause. Maddie frowned as she looked down at the steaming rising from the cup in her hand.

"Okay I am a mind reader. Whatever. You know what I mean. I'm not going to read your innermost thoughts and desires, okay? This is a journey of self-discovery you need to take, to figure out what you want. You don't have to do it alone, I mean, I'll totally be here for you along the way. But I think you should start with taking a good look at your relationship with your brother." She nodded the finality of her statement and took another sip of cocoa.

"Damn. I make an awesome hot chocolate."

"I don't... know," Clint said, pausing to take a sip of his own cocoa. "I mean. You're right. But... yeah." He snorted to himself. "Lack of coherency: 1, Clint: 0." He didn't say anything else for a moment, then looked off toward the woods and muttered, "I kept all the letters he sent. There weren't many. I couldn't read them to begin with, but... I kept them. Haven't heard from him in years, though."

"Have you ever thought...." Maddie took a breath and considered how to proceed. This was obviously a very sensitive subject, almost as if it was part of the foundation of his very being. Ah the hell with it. "Ever consider the fact that he probably won't be coming back? Like you said, it's been years."

"I've thought about it," Clint said, still not really looking at Maddie. "But it's like you said - we're blood. That's gotta mean something, doesn't it?"

She shrugged and moved closer; he was warm and the night was turning colder. "I don't know him, but I bet anything that he wanted to get away from his past and start over. Give himself a new life." Maddie knew she was grasping at straws here (she knew she could never leave her family), but it made the most sense to her. If you had nothing to lose, why not go for broke, reinvent yourself completely? "Maybe if he needs a kidney or a liver or something he'll find you, but if he hasn't contacted you all this time, why would you think he'd bother now, or ever?"

"Great," Clint said, shaking his head. "I'm a potential organ donor and not much else." It wasn't her fault, though. Maddie was nothing if not unfailingly honest - it was one of the things he liked best about her. "I guess I just always figured he'd come back, you know? And he hasn't, so it's sort of like... there's just this thing hanging over me or something. And it still feels weird, like I'd be betraying him if I agreed to the whole... adoption thing."

"He betrayed you," she insisted. "And above all else, you deserve to be happy."

"Besides, I'm pretty sure Andre has already started planning our wedding. He'd be heartbroken if he had to cancel it."

"Why would he have to cancel it? Just because I wasn't their officially adopted son?" Clint quirked a small smile. "C'mon, you know it'd take more than that to get him to cancel the wedding. He's probably got bits of fabric stashed away as samples for your dress."

Maddie laughed, shaking her head at the thought Clint's dad had about them being the perfect couple for whom marriage was inevitable. "Look. What I'm trying to say is, Steve and Andre are, great, and they totally love you and care about you. They want to permanently make you their son, more than just someone the state or city or whatever pays to cover their cost of taking you in. They want to stay in your life, and keep you in theirs.

"Look." She reached up and turned his head so they were staring eye to eye; if the tone of her voice wasn't enough to convey how serious it was, the look in her eyes made it irrefutable. "Think of all the kids here who would probably jump at the chance to have parents who love them again. Matt, Layla, Tandy, Renee, Topaz (I am going to find out that girl's real name, cause this is just ridiculous), I don't know what the deal with Molly is, but she never really talks about her parents, and I'm sure Hope would trade up from that controlling oppressive witch of a mother in an instant. You are so fuckin' lucky, dude. Don't just throw it all away on some pipe dream."

Clint didn't immediately respond, but he felt something in his chest loosen and he closed his eyes even as his mouth twisted into a rueful smile. "Madelyne Jennifer Pryor - tellin' it like it is. Thanks."

"Is why you love me." Her fingers slipped into his and she gave him a reassuring squeeze. "Just take some time to think it over. And just remember: no matter what happens, Steve and Andre will always love you."

Laughing softly, Clint shook his head. "It's one of the multitudes of reasons I love you. Duh." He still had a fair bit of thinking to do, but he felt calmer about it all - a little steadier on his feet. It was difficult to argue with logic.