xp_logs | Topaz and Hope: Wednesday Night (Reply)

Hope asks Topaz about real magic - and somewhere along the way they both manage to touch a couple of sore spots.

"Hey Topaz." Hope peeked over the arm rest of the big chair she was tucked away in, book firmly on her lap and watched as the girl jumped a little. "My apologies, it was not my intention to startle you."

"You didn't." They'd been sitting in silence for quite a while now; it wasn't Topaz's fault she hadn't been expecting Hope to say anything. "What's up?"

"Can I ask if you have ever read Harry Potter?" Hope perched her arms on the chair, leaning her chin on her fist.

Now Topaz actually looked up (she'd been on the floor next to Hope's chair), arching an eyebrow. "Yeah, a bit." She could sense a faint hum of curiosity in Hope. It made her...not nervous, exactly. But it put her on guard. "Why?"

"I am just wondering. Did you enjoy them?" Hope shifted positions she could shift the Indian girl better. If her mom saw her sitting this way, she would certainly glare or maybe even shriek at at her, but she firmly shut that image away and secretly enjoyed the small feeling of rebellion.

"They're a bit unrealistic in terms of how magic actually works. But they're not terrible." She got the feeling Hope was fishing now.

Hope paused for a moment, wondering if she should continue. "Can I ask how it is unrealistic? I have read much fantasy, but there are so many different interpretations."

Topaz blinked. Did Hope want a lesson or something? "Well for starters spells, especially the stronger ones, are longer than one or two words. If you want to kill someone, it's going to take more than Avada Kedavra to get it done. The type of magic that's being used affects the person using it - if you're using dark magic, it's more likely to corrupt you." Hence Amanda's worry over Topaz's own use of magic. "Spells can also have a physical effect on a person. If I cast too much, I get migraines and I can't see or think straight, and it takes me a while to recover." The Slendermen incident had been hell on her. "Energy sources are different, too. I draw off emotions, some people draw off the life-force of animals or even people...you get where I'm goin' with this."

She nodded thoughtfully, clearly taking mental notes and comparing it to what she had read in her books. "So there is no huge universal source magic casters draw of? They each have their own kind of source of energy."

"None that I've ever heard of." Topaz shrugged. "Users can have similar sources, but...that's about it. Sources also effect the magic, so havin' one universal source wouldn't really make sense - it would imply that all users are the same, and they're not."

"Hmmm... I am guessing it might actually be easier to ask if there is anything most fictional books do get correct about magic?" Not to mention it would tell Hope if it be needed to try to set most of her previous notions about magic aside.

Topaz frowned, curling her legs up to her chest a bit more. "Well the ones that establish that magic comes at a cost are on the right track. But most don't establish specific sources - they make it seem as if the user just draws the energy out of the air. They usually get it pretty wrong with dark magic too - most'll say dark magic doesn't exist, it's just the person that's evil, but that's not always the case. Sometimes the magic is evil and the person just...gets swept away in it." Don't think about him, don't think about him. "There're very few things most books get right."

Hope lashed on to that last bit. "How do you mean that the magic can be evil and just sweep a person away? Does it bring out the darker parts of that person?"

Bloody hell. Topaz carefully trained her expression into apathy, purposely taking a few seconds to answer so she could look like she was considering the question. "It twists them," she said simply, her tone betraying nothing of what her thoughts might have been in that moment. "The more you use dark magic, the more it draws you down that path. It corrupts a person. Even if you start out usin' it and you think you're righteous or whatever, it'll never last for long. S'too powerful."

"Like Voldemort pursuing his ideology about pure bloods and finally resorting to tactics like dividing his soul in several pieces?" Hope murmured thoughtfully, eying the book she had been reading.

"If you put it into the context of our world and real magic, then yeah. But the way she made it seem in the book Tom Riddle was always a twisted little sociopath. And sometimes that is the case - sometimes people are just evil and dark magic comes naturally to them. But sometimes it's not."

Hope was silent for a few minutes, thinking. "Does it happen often?" She finally asked hesitantly. "Magic turning people towards darkness, I mean."

Topaz's teeth came together with an audible clink - the only indication that the question bothered her in any way. "Depends on your definition of 'often,' I suppose. It happens far too easily, though."

The sound of Topaz almost grinding her teeth pulled her out of the haze of contemplating the realities of magic. She frowned a little and studied Topaz closer. Her face didn't betray anything, but her mom had tried to teach her how to read body language. And the way the muscles in Topaz' her neck were tenses and the way she hugged her knees closer to her, almost as if to protect herself, told Hope enough and she decided to change subjects somewhat.

She cast her gaze around for a moment before her gaze fell on the book. "I realize real magic is actually very different from what you just described..." Hope held up her book, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. "Are there actually things in this book magic can do?"

Topaz twisted around to look at the book. "Depends on what you're asking about, I s'pose." She cycled quickly through her head, trying to remember some spells from the books. "There are light spells, kinda like Lumos but obviously without the wand. Or spells that can be used to torture people." She paused to swallow, remembering the spell Adam had used on her. "Do you have somethin' specific in mind?"

"Not really... though... I was just reading one of the chapters about Dumbledore's Army training..." Hope let her voice die of, not quite sure how to ask.

"Right..." Topaz raised an eyebrow, waiting for Hope to continue.

"Is something like a patronus a possibility? I always wondered what they'd look like in real life and the movies... well... sometimes they don't just quite cut it." Hope blushed a little, but her enthusiasm was clearly heard in her voice.

Topaz thought about it for a moment. "I...suppose?" She said uncertainly. "I mean, it wouldn't serve the same function - it'd mostly just be for show, if I tried."

"Yes, that would make sense. I think it would be truly amazing to see though." Hope smiled, a hopeful look in her eyes.

Topaz didn't need empathy to get the hint. She closed her eyes, remembering the light spell she'd shown Molly before. Maybe she could shape that...?

A single ball of light flickered to life in front of Topaz. She pressed her lips together, picking the first animal that came to mind and imagining the little ball shaping itself.

Hope's eyes widened steadily as she watched the glowing light slowly form into a koala bear and it started to float around the room. It might not be the silver of the book, but it was so close her in the room. She almost reached out to touch it when it came close, but withstood the urge, not knowing if it would cause harm.

"S'all right," Topaz assured her, vaguely amused by the obvious delight Hope was getting from this. "It's just really bright energy, it won't hurt you. Might tingle a bit though."

She gave in to the urge and touched the glowing koala bear in front of her. It did tingle a little indeed, but nothing that was uncomfortable. After a few moments Hope retracted her hand and looked at Topaz. "Thank you. This is amazing."

"M'just glad I didn't blow anything up this time," Topaz murmured as she let it die away. "Glad you liked it."

"Of course I did. And you know as well as I do that you do not blow things up all the time..." Hope refocused her gaze sharply at those words.

Topaz blinked, a little surprised by Hope's reaction to her (admittedly weak) joke. "S'pose not, no. I just don't always have the best luck when it comes to that spell."

"You were just kidding about that spell?" Hope raised her eyebrow, but her gaze softened immediately.

"I...yeah. Sure." Really, there'd been no need for such an overreaction. Topaz shook her head a bit. She really didn't understand the other students sometimes.

"You put yourself down far too often. Other people do that often enough. Don't do that to yourself." The fiery look was back in Hope's eyes, but beneath that she was far away.

"Hmn." Topaz raised an eyebrow, completely calm in comparison. "Tell you what - I'll stop putting myself down when you stop letting your mother run your life."

The fire in her eyes flashed again. "Where do you think I learned that lesson, Topaz?"

"I know where you learned it from." Again, Topaz's tone was calm. "It's what you take from that lesson that counts. If you just ignore it, you're not going to get anywhere."

"I have learned the lesson very well. Extremely well I'd say." Hope finally gained a hold of her fire and she banked it, but it still glittered behind her eyes. "But when you learn to incorporate a lesson, you will discover Topaz, that it goes with small steps. You'd do well to remember this when you start learning it."

"Oh I've learned my lessons already." The words came almost automatically, and Topaz's gaze turned a bit distant. She stood up, tossing her bag over her shoulder. "I know how it goes." She started to leave, her hands shoved into her sweatshirt pockets.

"They do say you never stop learning. And this is a school." Hope noted with a raised eyebrow, catching Topaz' gaze just before she turned away.

Topaz stopped, pursing her lips and pretending to look around the room. "Yeah, suppose it is." She'd been tracking Hope's emotions through the last few minutes of this conversation. She'd gone from annoyed and frustrated and generally just not happy with what Topaz was saying to...well, trying not to be any of those things, but it was still simmering. Waiting to boil over.

There was no reason to poke the sleeping dragon.

Hope nodded, resorting to her fallback of courtesy. "Thank you again for demonstrating that spell. I will see you later."