Marie and Angelo, this morning

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After training, Marie ran upstairs to check on Angelo. She hadn't talked to him since Wednesday and given his posts, she was a little worried about his state. She had faith that he'd be okay overall, but he warranted checking in on once in a while. At his room, she knocked on his door and waited for a response.

Angelo, hearing her knock, called out, "Who is it?" before inviting her in, afraid it would be someone he didn't want to see, for whatever reason.

"Marie. Just coming to see how you are." Marie pulled the elastic out of her hair and shook her head.

Angelo sighed, more from relief than anything, and got up to open the door, standing aside to let her through. "Come on in."

"Hey." Marie stepped in and wandered over to lean on Angelo's desk. "You doing okay?"

Angelo shrugged. "Better than I was."

"Well, that's something." She looked him over, trying to judge whether or not he'd been eating. "You want to talk?"

Angelo sat down on the bed. "Sure. You saw the posts, then, huh?" he guessed.

"Yeah, I did. I know you're not about to do anything foolish, so I didn't think I needed to run down to see how you were." Marie gave him a little smile. "But... I am kinda worried about you."

He glanced up at her. "Yeah. Doin' a bit better than yesterday, but I've been better."

"What's up, honey?" She moved over to sit by him on the bed and put an arm around his shoulders.

Angelo sighed, leaning instinctively into the contact. "Just been a bit closer to the edge than usual lately, 's all."

"Have you talked to anyone but me?"

He nodded. "Nathan an' Shinobi. They're probably why I'm still here."

"That's good, got to get your help where you find it, right?" She gave him a squeeze. "They're both smart men. I'm glad you're talking to someone. What about Samson, though?"

Angelo shrugged. "I've been goin' to my appointments. It was just a passin' thing, it happens sometimes."

"Yeah, but it always comes back, doesn't it?" Marie pointed out.

He glanced down and admitted simply, "Yeah."

"Do you know what sets it off?" she asked.

"Different things", he told her. "It's like... awhile back you called it "the pit", you remember? An' it's like, 'most all the time, I'm tryin' to keep away from it, but then somethin' happens, an' I end up another step or two closer to the edge. An' I think, if I fall... I don't know if I can get back out. Been closer to fallin', this last couple of days."

"Well, you don't have to get back out alone. But it's better if you learn to walk where there's no pit at all." Marie rubbed his back with one hand. "You need some other ways to cope, honey. That's what Samson's here for. You can talk to him about what happens, he can help you sort it out."

Angelo nodded. "I know. But it's hard. All my life..." He trailed off, unsure how to put it.

"It's not just you," Marie said. "You tried not to lean on anyone? Tried to keep your head above water no matter how bad it got because you couldn't rely on other people, or maybe you loved them too much to put the burden on them too? Or maybe you couldn't show any weakness? Something like that?"

Angelo nodded. "Somethin' like that. All of the above?"

"At different times, eh?" Marie sighed. "It happens to all of us, you know. It's not just you. And it's okay."

He laid his head on her shoulder, suddenly very tired. "Really?"

"Absolutely. It gets to be a habit, you do it too long. It's okay as a survival mechanism, but you have to learn when to put it down. Do it too long, though... you get too scared, or too hard inside to go back, not without really trying. It's not easy." She brought up her other hand to stroke his cheek, soothing.

"I think it might already've been too long", he said quietly. "'s not like it started when I got here, or even when I manifested."

"It's never too late," Marie assured him. "Trust me. It's just harder now. But you have to try. You can change."

He curled up on the bed, drawing his legs up beneath him. "I want t'believe that..."

Marie kept on rubbing his back gently. "Have some faith in yourself. And in me. People can change, it just takes time and some courage. I know you have both."

Angelo grinned wryly. "Keep sayin' that, maybe the faith'll rub off."

Marie laughed. "Well, I won't stop saying it. Because it's true, Angelo. I've seen it happen."

Angelo twisted to look at her. "In who?"

"You mean aside from me?" Marie smiled.

Angelo blinked, then nodded. "Hadn't thought of it like that. But you said you'd "seen" it happen...?"

She laughed. "I'm one of the worst and I went running for help when the shit hit the fan in the fall. But Shinobi, look at him. He knows when he needs to go talk to Samson, right?"

Angelo nodded. "I guess so..."

"And Jubilee, what about her? And Amanda's getting the help she needs, right?"

Angelo laughed a little. "Okay, already. Enough examples. Point taken, but..."

"And they've got their struggles, they've had their hard times and all. Every reason not to trust and not to get help, just like you." Marie ruffled his hair affectionately. "It's not just you. And you can change."

Angelo nodded. "I am tryin'", he said softly. "Have been tryin'. Whatever."

"I know you are, honey. Just keep on trying. Take the leap when that pit opens up." Marie found his hand and squeezed it. "Don't just hide out, okay? Try the new way, test it out."

Angelo paled slightly. "Take the leap? What do you mean?"

"I mean, try talking to Samson next time that pit opens up. Call him or something."

Angelo glanced down. "That's not quite how it works, usually. The pit's almost always there, it's just about stayin' away from the edge. An' by the time things get bad that way..."

"The phone's right there," Marie pointed to it. "And I'm right here. Someone can call for you if you can't do it yourself."

Angelo nodded. "If it seems like I'm hidin', come lookin' for me", he requested quietly. "Usually means things've got bad."

"And I can call Samson?"

Another nod. "Someone's gonna have to, if it gets that far."

"Then I'll do it." Marie smiled at Angelo. "I want to see you okay."

He smiled back. "I want t'see me okay, too. Just not sure how."

"That's what they pay the man for," Marie said lightly.

Angelo nodded once again, in acknowledgment. "I know, I know. But you know how it is."

"I do." She gave him a smile. "I know how it is. And that's not how it was. So that's why I'm here. You'll be okay."

"It's just... adjustin'. Habits of a lifetime, you know..."

"I know." Marie gave him a hug. "We're all learning."

"How've you been, anyway?" he asked, leaning into the hug.

Marie laughed. "Oh. The usual."

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[xp_daytripper]

Angelo nodded. "I know. But it's hard. All my life..." He trailed off, unsure how to put it.

"It's not just you," Marie said. "You tried not to lean on anyone? Tried to keep your head above water no matter how bad it got because you couldn't rely on other people, or maybe you loved them too much to put the burden on them too? Or maybe you couldn't show any weakness? Something like that?"

Angelo nodded. "Somethin' like that. All of the above?"


Mr Pot? There's a Mr Kettle on the line for you... *grins* Oh, this is going to be fun to play with later. Amanda is so going to remind Angelo he's said exactly the same thing to her...