[identity profile] x-marrow.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] xp_logs
After beating the hell out of each other (sparring!), Sarah and Marie talk about what's bothering Sarah, namely Betsy (and by extension Scott--log forthcoming) and Sarah's 'ghosts'.



Sprawled out on the mat covered floor, the thought occured to Sarah that she should be upset. Sarah hadn't been ready for Marie's last hit, and it had sent her half-way across the room. The only reason she hadn't hit the wall on the other side (not three feet from her head at the moment) was the bone sticking out of her shoulder that had caught on the mat and was now digging uncomfortably into her shoulder. She should be indignant. Instead, she just laid there, a smile slowly forming on her face. She felt good, to tell the truth. "Ow." she said, more amused than an indication of pain.

Marie caught the tone and laughed, then wiped blood from her chin with her sleeve. "Ow. All I get is an ow? Bitch." She straightened, hands in the small of her back, and felt her spine pop in several places. Sarah wasn't getting up so Marie slowly made her way over and collapsed gracefully on the mat next to her, looking up at the ceiling. "Nice view," she said conversationally.

"Ow, Marie, that really hurt!" she whined, a perfect imitation of complaints she'd heard in the intro to self defense class when she first arrived. An even more perfect imitation of the way she'd been before the tunnels. "I'm not here for the view," she added, turning her head to face Marie, "I'm here cause I'm pretty sure I'd just fall back down if I attempted to get up." Sarah shifted, just enough to pull the long, sharp bone from her shoulder, and settled back down onto the mat.

Marie laughed more at the whine, one arm over her ribs as she did so. "Feel better?" she asked, turning her head to look over at Sarah. Herself, she wasn't too badly off at first appearances, bruised cheekbone going purple and lower lip split in a couple places. Under her clothes, though, there was a constellation of marks rising to the surface of her skin and she had the ache of some very unhappy ribs.

"Yeah, actually." She moved the bone idly in her hand, the tingle of her healing factor making her suddenly restless. "Thanks."

"You weren't the only one spoiling for a bit of a fight," Marie admitted. "It was fun." Her water bottle was across the room and she wished desperately for a hint of telekinesis.

Sarah nodded, her expression unconciously darkening a bit. "No, I wasn't." Shrugging, she shifted again to pull the rubber band out of her hair.

"Mm. This is where I ask you if you want to talk about it," Marie said, with some humour in her voice. "Because I'm good for a few more rounds at least if you don't."

"Not particularly." she said, sulkily, "But you're going to make me." She rolled over on to her stomach, leaned up on her forearms. "I got into an arguement with Scott. Or rather, he decided he had me all figured out, and I left before I did something stupid."

Marie snorted at the implication that anyone could /make/ Sarah do anything she didn't want to. "Oh dear. Why am I not surprised? Did he go all Captain Conscientious on you?"

"He wanted me to talk to Betsy." She ran a hand through her hair, then tucked some back behind her ears. "I don't think that's what she needs right now. Especially because I'm pretty sure it won't go well."

"Ah. I think that should kind of be Betsy's choice." Marie didn't sound too impressed. "I love Scott like a brother, but he can get a little fixated on solving things sometimes. I don't blame him in this case, he's lost too much this year already. Still, I agree with you. I don't think it's what she needs right now and, more importantly, it doesn't sound like you want to do it."

"I don't." She said simply. "It's like I told him, I can't look at her without smelling my blood all over the hallway. I don't want to go and make her feel worse. And I can't be sure that won't be exactly what I'd do."

"Then you're right not to do it." Marie prodded at her ribs and winced. "He needs to back off. She hurt you and you're not ready to go back there. It's not your job to make her feel better."

"Twice." Sarah added. "I realized the other day what happened the night those guys came in for Pete. I knew about Kwannon months ago, and she tried to kill me a second time. Luckily for Betsy, I don't remember the details of that one."

"It wasn't Betsy. That's one thing we all have to work on remembering." Marie rolled over to lie on her side, head propped up on her hand. "It was Kwannon. It's not more Betsy's fault than dumping Logan because of that damn potion was mine, though God knows I still feel like it was my fault. None of that negates the wrong of what happened to you, nor does it mean you should be in any hurry to speak to Betsy. She has to work things out for herself and people falling over themselves to forgive her aren't necessarily the cure."

"I know.. and that's mostly the reason I don't want to talk to her right now. I'm trying to make that seperation, but there are times when I just want to blame her because it's easier than blaming somebody who isn't around anymore."

"It's not fair, is it? All that pain and there's nothing tangible left to hurt." Marie bit her lip, as was her habit, and then stopped abruptly as she opened up a cut. "You're right to be angry. And you staying clear is all anyone should ask of you right now."

Sarah shook her head, a dark smile on her face. "You'd think I'd be used to that by now."

"Which? Having nothing to hurt?" Marie watched the other girl with a mix of curiosity and empathy in her eyes.

"Yeah. Been dealing with that problem for years." She's not really looking at Marie, sort of off to the side and out in the distance. "I can hurt anything, except the people who really deserve it."

"Then maybe hurting things isn't the answer," Marie said simply.

"It's the only answer I've got."

"I know. But that doesn't mean it's the only answer." Marie let herself slide back to lying on her back again, looking up at the ceiling. "Sometimes we don't get answers and we have to deal. Sometimes someone else has them, if we want to find them or if get lucky enough that they share. And sometimes, time takes care of it for us. I'm sorry, though. I am. I do understand that even if there is another answer, it's not necessarily going to fill the need."

"It's the only answer they'll be happy with," she corrected herself, hating that she had to go there. She'd noticed that rationalizations based on ghosts didn't pan out well with anyone but herself. "Anything else, and I've failed them again."

"They?" Marie tilted her head so that she could see Sarah's face clearly.

"The Morlocks-- my family." Both clarified the other, the two words as connected as Sarah and Marrow were.

Marie put this together in her head and nodded slowly. "I can see the dilemma," she said at last. The dead were probably much like the people in her head, quite static and unchanging. You couldn't talk them around, they didn't grow or evolve. They were as they were and there was no way around it. "Maybe we could find a way to settle it. Do they bother you?"

Sarah blinked. "Bother me?" She considered it for a moment, but finally shook her head. "They're my family."

Marie nodded. "That makes things easier, I'd guess. I understand some about having people making demands." She tapped her temple. "And affecting things. I guess I just wondered if they were pressuring you or making life harder."

Sarah nods, and then, veryvery quietly adds, "Of course they do. They nearly broke me while we were at the coast. It's all expectations, and duty as the last one left to fucking do something about it. And here I am playing pretty at mutant high."

"So what needs doing?" Marie asked, her tone neutral and practical. "Research? Revenge? Can't let them eat you alive, Sarah." She gave the other girl a serious look. "Will they leave when you're done? Do you want them to go?"

"Yeah, find out who did it and why, and making their sorry asses pay." She visibly pales at the suggestion of her 'ghosts' leaving, shaking her head vehemently. "They're all I've got left..."

Marie didn't dispute it, holding out a hand instead to comfort Sarah. "I didn't think so. I don't want mine to go either."

"I don't want to be alone," it was practically a whimper, one of those moments where Sarah was sure she'd cry if she could just make the tears come. But they didn't.

"I know," Marie said softly, letting her hand rest tentatively on Sarah's shoulder like a bird on an uncertain branch.

It took all Sarah had not to shrink back, her first instinct reaction to throw up more walls and shut everyone out. Instead she crossed her arms, on the floor, resting her chin on top of them. "I was alone for so long... and I don't think I can do it again."

"You would survive." Marie's voice was quiet but firm. She let her hand rest where it was, appreciating the effort it took for Sarah not to draw back, feeling it through her muscles. "But I don't think you will need to find out."

Sarah nodded, turning her head again to face Marie. "Thanks. I need a cigarette now," she said with a little laugh.

Marie laughed at that as well. "And I need aspirin. Lots of it." She sat up very, very slowly, wincing. "Me being mortal and all."

Sarah grinned; Sitting up was much much easier for her, since her healing factor had gotten a good head start on fixing things before she actually attempted to get up. "We need to get you a permanent healing factor, since you insist on fighting like you have one..."

Marie shook her head, laughing more in spite of herself. "Ow. I have one, I just left him upstairs," she said lightly. She lifted herself off the floor with her power and set herself down on her feet. "Hah." She looked smug at having gotten up first.

Sarah rolled her eyes, listening to her joints pop and crack as she stood up. "And he's going to kick my ass next time we train, just for principle."

Marie grinned impishly. "Are you kidding?" She gave Sarah a look, hands on her hips, and then made her way across the room to get her water and sweatshirt. She pulled the sweatshirt on slowly, to cover up the splashes of blood on her shirt.

"Nah, but it'll be fun," Sarah said with a smirk. She stretched a little, t-shirt torn from bones barely hanging on as it shifted. Walking over to the door, she pushed the door open with her hip watching as Marie soon followed behind her. "Thanks."

"Any time," Marie said, nudging Sarah gently with her shoulder as she passed. "I mean that."

Sarah nodded, letting the door shut quietly behind her. "I know."
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