Log: Haller and Scott (Backdated)

[x-cyclops.livejournal.com]

Jim stops by Scott's office to talk about Topaz and the two of them end up making their peace.

Jim rubbed his chest and shoulder before knocking. It was only a phantom pain to begin with, and healing. Funny how it was aggravated when he reflected on the surrounding circumstances -- but then, it was a psychic injury.

Sighing, the telepath dropped his hand and rapped on the doorframe.

"Scott?"

Scott glanced up at the sound of a knock on his door, he'd been stuck in his office all week trying to get the exams graded for the kids before they all headed back home.This was always his least favorite time of the year, but on the other hand, a summer of relaxation spread out before him if he could get through this.

The X-Man's gaze turned colder when he say the man standing in the doorway, "Haller," he acknowledged nodding at the other man.

"Hey, Scott." The drop in temperature was noticeable, but it wasn't as if Scott didn't have more than his fair share of things to deal with. Still, that arguably made this the best time. The telepath entered the office, but only just. He lingered by the door to leave a respectable distance between them.

"I just wanted to see how you were doing after that thing with Topaz yesterday," Jim said. "She seems to be doing better now, though I think Amanda's going to have some more words with her once she's more rested. Mass drains are a pretty counter-productive coping mechanism."

Scott sighed and dropped his pen on the stack of exams in front of him as he leaned back in his chair, "Honestly? I'm a little disappointed her. She could feel her control slipping and instead of telling someone she chose to hide away in a classroom. If I hadn't found her then she'd have ended up losing control some other time and still putting everyone in the mansion in danger."

"She's a kid, and she's still not used to living with so many other people. She knows she was wrong, now." Jim gave a self-deprecating snort. "Besides, we've both been through the 'surprise, your dad's alive' drill. That wasn't great even without either of ours trying to <I>sell</I> us."

Scott shook his head, "Six months ago that excuse would have been valid, but she's been here for a year now Jim. A year and her first instinct wasn't go to Mr Haller, or Amanda or Mr Wagner; it was to hide in a corner and hope it got better. She should have known better than that." The older man sighed, "I can understand running away to be with her dad, in her shoes I'd have done the same thing, what I'm disappointed about is when she knew something was wrong she didn't come to us and therefore put people in danger. What happens if when her powers went out of control it hadn't been a temporary drain, but instead she had burnt out the emotions of anyone around her?"

Jim shook his head. "She didn't understand how deeply her shields were tied to her emotional state. Repression's always worked for her because she's never been under this much stress. Now she knows she can't get away with it anymore." He paused before adding, "Besides. .. even though we told her we know it was an accident, after what happened with Tandy, <I>she's</I> thinking of this as her second strike. I don't think this is a mistake she's making again."

"Second strike? She doesn't think we run a three strikes system her does she?" Scott stared at the look on Haller's face in disbelief, "She doesn't right?" Sighing the older man leaned back in his chair and shook his head wearily, "I think I owe Charles an apology, I'm sure that we were never this bad when he was teaching us." Scott turned his gaze back onto Haller, "You have told her that it would take something much worse for us to even consider giving up on her. I just assume she's not hearing that yet right?"

"She was mortified enough to actually express the emotion to us. I think it's going to take a while for the reassurances to sink in." The telepath folded his arms uncomfortably. "And . . . maybe you weren't, but Jack and some of the others used to hurt him during our sessions. Or tried. So I guess my bar for expel-worthy offenses would be pretty high."

Scott nodded , "That would give you a pretty unique view of the situation" he agreed softly, "They actually tried to hurt Charles why he was training you, I don't think that any of us ever went quite that far. That's not to say we didn't think about it sometimes, but I guess that's pretty standard for any drill instructor. God knows that enough of the trainees feel the same way about me." Scott shook his head and gave Haller a smile, "I don't think Topaz is quite that bad, she's caught on the wrong side of some bad decisions and a fair bit of bad luck."

"Yeah." The telepath shifted again, aware he was doing a poor job of hiding his trepidation. He decided just jump right into it.

"Hey. On the subject of power accidents, I, um . . ." Jim hesitated, then let out a sigh. "You know what, fuck it. There's no good segue for this." He lifted his eyes to meet Scott's gaze directly. "I want to apologize for messing with your memories."

Haller's apology took Scott by surprise and the older man had to take a moment to collect himself glancing down at the papers in front of him before turning to Haller with a sigh. "It's not like you meant to do it, and I can't really justify staying mad at you and forgiving Topaz can I? In the end they were both accidents."

"Which both happened for similar reasons." The telepath raked a hand through his short hair. "One of the souvenirs I came back with from the hotel was forced introspection. About a couple things, but that, too. I think the wipe happened because I was . . ." Jim gave an awkward laugh, "scared. Of competing with you, or being measured against you, everything. And subconsciously, I thought that if you didn't remember it would just . . . go away."

"You were scared of me?" Scott shook his head trying his best not to laugh, "Jim, you of all people don't need to worry about that. The way Charles looks at you, there is no-one who could replace you for him. I only wish I could get that, Charles may respect me and even care for me in a way but you're his son and he would move mountains for you if he had to. While my dad on the other hand hangs out on the other side of the world doing generally grey and morally incomprehensible pirate things."

Jim gave a soft snort. "Yeah, well. The grass is always greener, and crazy isn't logical." The younger man was quiet for a moment, then shook his head.

"You may not be related," Jim said, "but I don't think he considers you replaceable, either. I have my strengths, but I'm not a leader. That's a quality the two of you have in common. You mean a lot to him. That closeness was . . . intimidating, I guess." He gave Scott a crooked smile. "Besides, I don't think it's anything against Charles to say most people would prefer a kid that didn't assault them."

Scott returned Jim's smile with one of his own, "You never know, at least you were responding to him instead of ignoring him. He was probably pretty happy about that. Besides, the closeness was just time together, look at it now, after all this time I'd say you were as close to him as anybody."

Embarrassed, Jim cleared his throat. "Yeah. We could go back and forth on it all day, I guess. But . . . really I just felt I owed you the explanation. Keeping it to myself wasn't doing me any good. It's probably what caused the wipe in the first place." He gave a self-deprecating shrug. "Plus, you know how you said you had to forgive me if you forgave Topaz? I'm already the Do As I Say, Not As I Do poster-child and talking to her about the dangers of repression was getting a little much even for me."

"That's some pretty crafty strategic thinking Jim," Scott pointed out with a smile, "I think we'll make a tactician out of you yet. You don't have anything to apologize for really, it was a mistake. Just try not to do it again, people don't take kindly to having their heads messed with under the best of circumstances."

"Yeah. Although apparently it does sometimes prompt an apology afterwards, if only to make it one less thing to hallucinate about under any future psychic assault." Strange, he spent so much time telling people how good confession was he'd actually forgotten the sense of personal relief he got from doing so himself. However, Jim only returned the older man's smile. "Buy you a beer at Harry's later and we'll call it even?" he offered.

Scott arched an eyebrow at Jim, "Going full circle huh?" The older man turned to stare at the papers crowding his desk for a moment before giving Jim a wry smile. "That sounds great, I've had just about had it with grading these papers. I could use a break, and since you're buying."