Gabriel & Rogue

[x-velocidad.livejournal.com]

Gabriel tries to explain things to Rogue without explaining them, but he can't explain them because... well, it's hard to explain.

Midnight at the Mansion almost felt like midnight in Mississippi. It was far away from town that the stars shone brightly in the sky, and even though it was cold, Rogue was happy to sit on the porch, a blanket around her shoulders, and a cup of hot chocolate in her hands.

She had found that since waking up, she really couldn't sleep more than a few hours at a time. Her dreams were always a mishmash of scenes, and she didn't know if it was real or not. All she knew was that it bothered her enough that she preferred napping to actually sleeping.

The thing was, she also found herself more antsy than normal. She couldn't just lay in her room, watching Netflix or something. No, she felt like moving and wandering and exploring, and at a time of night when most were asleep, she thought the smart thing to do was walk around outside, which she did. And now, to reward herself for thinking of others, she had hot chocolate. Delicious.

It was cold, and Gabriel was always cold these days, but he'd wanted to smoke, which led him outside. Even with Xavier's supposed omnipotence diminished, he was too nervous to even roll a joint in the house. Although given how everyone had been acting around him, he could probably call it grief and get away with it.

The pot was long gone at this point, and it hadn't helped take the edge off the night, but he had found it surprisingly nice to just sit under a tree where he didn't need to worry about being bothered, or how to successfully navigate interactions with others when you didn't give so much as a fuck about their feelings.

Still, he was cold, so he'd grabbed a cigarette out of the pack in his coat and lit it as he walked back toward the mansion.

A strange red light was bobbing it's way to her. She tried to see what it was, but wasn't having any luck. Even tapping into Logan's powers wasn't helping her. All they were saying was 'male. smoker'. Thanks, jackass, she thought to herself. There was obviously a limit to even what the powers could tell her about people. At any rate, it was getting closer and closer and by the time she could tell what it was, she found it strangely anticlimactic. "You're a person," she exclaimed. "An' here Ah thought the mansion was haunted by a tiny red ghost."

"Plenty of ghosts here," he responded rather gravely. "I'm not one of them." So much for solitude. Even in the dark, he recognized Rogue's voice, and he figured if someone had to bother him, it might as well be someone he liked and who probably knew better than to ask too many questions. He blew smoke to the side, then trudged up the steps, shaking snow off his shoes.

It was moments like this that she wasn't sure if she was grateful for the memory loss or not. So many losses. Her dreams painted a picture, of her right in the middle of some of the scenes, but it didn't make sense. X-Men killing. Being killed. The younger students in the middle of it. It was too surreal for her to process. "Glad to hear that, sugah," she said softly. She looked at him as he went up the stairs, and reached out with her blanket. "Wanna sit? Inside is jus' as dark as the outside sometimes."

Gabriel stiffened for a few seconds, then relaxed. "Sure. Want a cig?" He took a seat next to her, rejecting her blanket with a wave of his hand. An icy wind whipped across the porch, and a hint of weed wafted off his jacket. He pulled it tighter around him. "Remember anything about me yet?" He doubted it. Even when she had her brain, it wasn't like they were particularly close.

Rogue shook her head. "Sorry, sugah. If Adri hadn't given me a list, Ah wouldn't know who y'all are. But Ah'm guessin' we were friendly enough, else ya would've told me off.". She gave him a pointed look. "Or maybe that's the pot chillin'. Got one of those? Ah'd rather that than a real smoke, but Ah'll make do with whatever, if y'all are offerin'"

"Guess I'm feeling generous." He was referring to the conversation itself, not the cigarette he now offered her. "But not that generous. No pot. Sorry." He passed her his lighter.

She smiled a thanks as she took the cigarette and lit it. Her lungs quickly voiced their opinion as she coughed. "Guess Ah must've quit the odd social smoke," she commented, her hand outstretched in front of her with the cigarette lit. "It's weird havin' no recent memories. Ya know, a body sure does change in ten years. 19 to 29.". She took another puff, and while she still felt the urge to cough, she managed to quell it. Barely. "Ah don't know who Ah am."

"I know the feeling," Gabriel said a little flatly. Not that his apparent time issues were worth getting into, especially what with how little he understood them. "Anything you want to know? We're not close, so I won't lie to you like Adrienne probably does. And I'm told I'm callous as fuck these days, so I don't really care if you say something stupid on accident."

Rogue stared down at her hand, the cherry burning brightly in the night. "Why would Adrienne lie ta me? Is she secretly a bitch? Ah didn't find her ta be that way....and Ah wanna know everything but ears could be listenin'." She tapped her foot against the step. "What Ah really wanna know is what happened ta me. How'd Ah lose my memories? Ah want them back. Good or bad."

"Oh, that." Gabriel gave her an apologetic smile. "Sorry, but I don't know." He shrugged and flicked ash toward the grass. "Wasn't there for that." It was a terrible answer, and he wished he could give her more, but as much as he'd been testing boundaries lately, this was one he wouldn't cross. And, technically, he was telling the truth. "Anyone say anything to you besides 'something bad happened,' or is that all you're getting?"

"It's the general consensus 'round here." Her hot chocolate had cooled down immensely, enough that she could gulp it down. "Somethin' bad happened.". She wiggled her fingers in the air and rolled her eyes. "Sure doesn't leave us with much ta put the pieces together with."

"Hate to break it to you, but your pieces are together." He took a drag off the cigarette. "You were in a coma or some shit. You lived. Now you're living. Don't dwell on shit, and just live your life."

"That's good advice." She inhaled and blew out a few smoke rings. Sloppy, but still looked good. "Do you listen to it yourself, or is it one of those do as Ah say, not as Ah do things?". Rogue turned and looked him squarely in the eye . "You're alive too, mah friend."

"That's different." He turned away from her, looking toward the mansion grounds. He still found it hard to believe the apocalypse had essentially been beat back on them. "And presumptuous, considering you don't know the first thing about me."

"Again, Ah could say the same thing 'bout you. But Ah'm not." She looked at him curiously. "Ah accept what ya have ta say. Why is it so hard for ya to hear it back?"

"Because." The bitterness a word could contain was surprising, even to Gabriel. "I remember things. And you get to forget."

"Ah didn't choose ta forget," she pointed out, trying her best not to raise her voice. "Ya think it's easy not knowin'? Walkin' on eggshells for no fuckin' reason, jus' some weird suggestion in your brain tellin' ya to? Ah look in the mirror and Ah see a complete stranger who had an entire life that Ah might never know. How is that better?"

"Just trust me," Gabriel sighed, trying his best not to go into a huff. His instincts had been right. "I can't talk about it. I–even if I could, I can't."

"Like everybody else," she grumbled. "Ah can't break it if Ah don't know about it.". She took another drag off her cigarette, frowning the whole while. "Ah thought Ah'd resigned mahself ta this life a while ago, but guess not.".

Glancing over to Gabriel, she gave a short laugh. "Suppose Ah ain't such good company after all, sugah."

"It's not you," he waved her off. "I'm not—people aren't my strong suit right now."

"Good thing we ain't people then," she responded blithely. Reaching the end of her smoke, she tossed it down and stamped it out with her foot before pocketing the butt. "We jus' animals, walkin' around, bein' all mutant and shit."

Gabriel just shrugged. A discussion about geopolitics was not on his agenda for the evening. He blew smoke toward the lawn

For how much longer they sat there in silence, she didn't know. It was only when her eyelids became heavy did she realize the time. "Well," she began, as she collected her things, "Ah should be headin' in. Early mornin' an' all. Thanks for the smoke, sugah.". She stood up but paused before walking away.

"Ah hope ya get the peace that ya need, Gabriel. An' if for whatever reason ya can't, Ah hope you come and find me. Ah'm always available." She hesitated slightly before putting a hand lightly on his shoulder for a moment.

Stepping away, she tried to give him a soft smile. "Goodnight."

"You too," he said back, sparing her the quickest of glances before looking away and tossing the end of his cigarette on the ground. The door shut behind her, leaving Gabriel to stare out at the empty yard. It was quiet, and it was empty. But it definitely wasn't peaceful.