Jean and Clarice: Wine and Words

[x-jeangrey.livejournal.com]

Clarice and Jean finally talk it out after their previous encounter.



It didn't take a rocket scientist to realize that things between Jean and herself weren't great. Hell, you could be deaf, dumb and probably blind and realize it. And that didn't work so well in the grand scheme of working together, even if it was part time. They were both medical and both X-Men, so Clarice needed to at least try and make it work. It took two to tango, it would take two to undo this, too.

Therefore, Clarice approached Jean with caution in one of the rec rooms, a bottle of wine and two glasses in hand. Normally, she might've chosen something fruitier and girlier, she suspected that Jean liked that sort of thing, but she didn't know what to make, so wine was a little easier. "Hey," she said, taking a seat nearby without asking and opening the bottle.

One moment Jean was catching up on an episode of Orphan Black, the next she spotted a flash of purple out of the corner of her eye as Clarice sat down. To say her appearance in the same vicinity was unexpected was an understatement. She locked eyes with Clarice and froze, like a gazelle sighted by a lion.

"...Hi," she said. Maintaining eye contact, her hand slid toward the remote and she pressed pause on the DVR. She slowly rose from the couch.

"I can leave."

The wine and two wine glasses looked like she expected company and she didn't feel like getting in another fight at the moment.

"Don't," Clarice said, tone a little sharper then intended and she willed herself to relax some, "We need to work things out like adults and now that the giant pools of jello are gone, I guess that means with wine and words. Unless you're just really itching for some hair pulling."

"Not particularly. I left my bikini at my sister's house," Jean mumbled, sitting back down.

Falling silent a moment, she stared at the glass. She hadn't expected to be that company, and was fully prepared to give her her space and time to cool down before talking to her. But apparently Clarice was going to be the one doing the talking first.

Jean glanced down. "What you did really freaked me out. You and I never seemed to hit it off in the first place so I was afraid to talk to you about it since I didn't know how you'd react. The way Charles talked about the X-Men....he made it out so much differently than what happened at Attica. I was really worried about what you did...so I went to Cyclops because I thought he might have better insight. And when Cyclops suggested I talk to you...I overstepped. Hard," she said, glancing at the TV screen.

"I made it out like I was better than you. I'm not. I was a bitch. I'm sorry."

"The professor has a dream," Clarice agreed, opening the bottle of wine and pouring two generous glasses as she sat down. "So did Martin Luther King. And...dreams are nice things. Sadly though, we live in reality. And Dr. King was assassinated for his dream," she took a long sip before continuing.

"Mutants were decimated on a near genocidal level on M-Day. We weren't much liked before, we're hated now. When we go out as X-Men, we're going out for battle. To fight. To hopefully stop something terrible, to help the world in that respect, but we go prepared to fight. And as a rule we don't kill," she took a deep breath and looked Jean right in the eyes. "When the situation requires it though, it happens. I have killed. I'll do it again if I have to. I don't do it gladly or easily and every single death affects me. But that's the reality sometimes of trying to achieve a dream. I'm sorry I freaked you out. I'm not sorry that I took that man's finger, other than that it didn't stop him like I expected."

Nodding, Jean looked up. "I used to be the field leader for X-Corps. We always saw the aftermath of disaster, and we helped people escape from those that might do them harm just because of what they are. Sometimes we had to fight, especially if someone was captured. But we never went looking for it. We always had someone to protect, and that meant usually finding a way around it to keep the person out of harm's way. I lived and breathed it. I felt like I was making a difference in people's lives. And then...so many of those people I tried to save were probably obliterated in the blink of an eye," she said, her eyes turning distant at that thought.

"I thought if I joined the X-Men, I'd be able to stop that from ever happening again. I wanted....I guess...to feel like I was making a difference again. But I came in thinking like I was still with X-Corps, and believing the world was something it isn't now," she said, what Scott said before after Clarice left ringing through her head.

"I'm still trying to come to grips with that, and how foolish I've been."

"It's not foolish," Clarice replied, meaning it. "It's not even naive. You saw the horrors, but didn't cause them or take part in them. You just saw the often just as horrific aftermath. But it's a different perspective. With the X-Men....well," she sighed, trying to think how to word things. "We do a lot of good. We've stopped a lot of terrible things from being much, much worse. But everything has a cost."

Finishing her wine, Clarice poured more, "We can use you in the X-Men, both for your powers and your medical skills. I'm the only field medic and...." She trailed off, thinking about M-Day and calling time of deaths while trying to evac others. "Well. You have to decide if it's the best place for you in your heart now that you've seen the reality of the dream."

Jean picked up a glass, staring at the deep burgundy color. "Angelo wants to try to rebuild X-Corps. And part of me wants to go back...Because it's safe, and familiar. As safe as it can be. But I know that's not true anymore. The other part...really wants to kick Deathlok in the balls in round two," she said with a wry grin. She shrugged.

"I don't want to give up just because I had a shitty first mission. I'd like to stick with it for a little while."

Clarice reminded herself that she shouldn't swill her wine. That was an insult to wine. "I hope you don't let one shitty mission make you quit either," she answered honestly. "And, to be fair, I've never been on a prison breakout mission that didn't end badly."

She paused badly, "I was maybe 21 or so and we had a prison breakout mission. I was there for medical, leading a couple trainees and army soldiers to the medical wing that was supposed to be secure. The mutant was....psychotic. He'd remade his victims into the stuff of horror movies and left them there, alive. There was nothing and no one to save or treat," she wasn't looking at Jean now, "I used my powers to kill every single person. It was a mercy, they were in agony, most would have died shortly anyways and if any lived, their lives were over. It doesn't make it feel any better."

"Oh my god," Jean said, covering her mouth. "I'm so sorry you had to go through that." She didn't know what she would've done in the same situation. It's possible she might've done the same thing, but she hoped she never had to find out.

"It isn't all jailbreak missions though, is it? You said the X-Men do a lot of good....please tell me there's some mission that involves rescuing orphans or nuns or kittens or something."

"No, it's not," Clarice assured her, "That's one of the worst of the worst actually," not the worst, but high on the list, "We caught that guy before he got loose in public. Before he could hurt more people. For that mission...that was good. Our missions are rarely rainbows and sunshine, that's not what we do, but they're rarely that bad. Somewhere in the middle. But...we help make rainbows and sunshine possible for people. And that's enough."

Jean smiled. "Didn't think so, but I figured I'd try. Making it possible is good enough for me," she said. She took another sip from her glass.

"Thanks for the wine, by the way."

"You're welcome," Clarice replied, getting up, "Also, bubble baths are the shit after missions. Nothing says 'fuck it all, I am going to relax' like spa time."

The smile on Jean's face widened into a grin. "You too? I'm actually already a fan. I like to take them after rough shifts. I've also discovered bath bombs after Tumblr blew up about them. There's a place that sells them down the street from my work. They're kind of amazing."

"I order in bulk online," Clarice gestured to herself, "the world can't handle this much purple and I hate image inducers. So." She used one when needed, but if she didn't need to? Shopping online was a joy when she didn't want to be bothered.

"Sounds easier than battling checkout lines too. I don't think the place I go to have an online store yet so if you ever wanted me to pick some up for you I can," Jean said.

Clarice shrugged, "I can go out and get it. I just....don't, usually," or she was going to take Wade's stolen, fake, whatever credit cards and go wild for a weekend. There was little in between. "but thanks for the offer."

Jean nodded. "Mainly I was thinking the saving on cab fare, but you're welcome," she said with a smile.

"Anyway, I was in the middle of watching Orphan Black. Would you like to join me?"

"Teleporter," Clarice pointed out. She didn't usually take cabs. Or drive. She could though, she had a license. Surprised by the invitation, she sat back down, "Yeah, sure. Just don't let me have more wine."

"Ah. Oops. Right. Forgot," Jean said. It wasn't every day that that was a descriptor to a person. She squinted. "So you could hypothetically pick up a real Chicago deep dish pizza from Chicago any time you want to? Damn, I'm jealous. If you ever decided you want to do that I would absolutely pay you. I'd even let you have half the pizza." She'd only gone once but it was a life changer. Sometimes she dreamed of that pizza.

She smiled. "And I will totally take a bullet for you by confiscating the wine and drinking the rest if you don't want it," she said, plucking the bottle from the table to pour herself another glass.

"To science," she said with a smirk, then pressed play on the DVR, rewinding the episode back to the beginning.