Log: Laurie and Matt

[x-wallflower-.livejournal.com]

Backdated to May 23rd 2015.

Laurie and Matt finally talk about the incident on the journals.




Laurie wandered into the kitchen, fingers fiddling absentmindedly with the join on the prototype Emma's people had fitted to her. It seemed to be responding well to her, but there was still a long way to go. She paused as she saw the man running his fingers over the page of a book at the kitchen table, pondering whether she wanted to leave quietly, or say something.

"Hello," she said, making up her mind.

"Hello," Matt replied, being polite, but not turning. He did pause his reading, a finger marking his place. It was only a matter of time before he ran into Laurie off the journals, Xavier's was big, but not that big unless he made some effort. He didn't see any reason to intentionally avoid her or anyone else. "Something I can help you with?" he added.

"Not really, I was just going to make myself some coffee and something to eat," Laurie replied, feeling slightly awkward as she moved toward the kitchen proper - filling the pot with water and slotting it back into the coffee machine. "I could get you one to, if you like?"

"I'm good," Matt replied, he had a mug of what was probably cold coffee near his right hand, but he wasn't interested in more. "I discovered that there is such a thing as too much coffee. Travesty, I tell you."

"Surely they understand that coffee is the lifeblood of the terminally sleep deprived," Laurie replied, grateful for the opening as she relaxed. She hadn't been sure if things would be tense between herself and Matt, and she hated being in conflict with people. "What are you reading?"

"When you get to the point you shake, it's too much," Matt explained. That had happened to him once in law school studying for exams. He didn't regret it at all, but he would prefer not to repeat it. "Playboy."

"Oh? Anything interesting? I love their college fiction contest," Laurie said, pulling cupboards open as she went about getting a variety of condiments, food and utensils. It had become even more of a production to make herself a sandwich these days, but she enjoyed the monotony of it.

"I'm reading an article on politics," he replied, "it's interesting, but not as well researched as I'd hoped," then again, it was playboy. "I should consider the source."

"I think it can depend on the author of the article as well," Laurie replied, using the special board she'd purchased to cut up tomato and onion before pulling cold cuts out of the refrigerator and placing them all on her sandwich with a dash of mustard pickles. "Politics in New York, or in general?"


"In general," playboy was a national magazine after all, getting too specific would alienate too many readers, "The author definitely has a bias and a goal wiith this article, and it's not badly written, but they're not so subtle about it. I dislike the obviousness," too many people would then take it at face value without thinking. Too many people in general didn't think so well, it was kind of astounding. "That smells like a good sandwich."

"Mmmm, tastes good too," Laurie replied, taking a large bite before pulling a cup out of the cupboard to make her coffee. "You want one?"

"I just ate," Matt reassured her, "If I ate a sandwich now I'd be reminded that I'm not in college and have no excuse for poor decision-making skills. Another time," he could still put away a good portion of food, but even he had limits! He just hoped that she didn't make a comment about college not being that far in his past yet.

"Of course," Laurie replied, avoiding the obvious comments and taking a seat. "So, what made you decide to move in here? I know you and Clint have places in the city."

"I still consider Manhattan 'home,'" Matt explained, "I work in the city. The commute from isn't worth moving here when I have a perfectly fine apartment. On the other hand, there is powers training and other things here I can't here there."

"You grew up in New York?" Laurie asked, wondering if the previous Matt would have laughed at her for such mundane conversation choices. "That must have been hard given the noise levels of a major city."

"Lived here my entire life," Matt agreed. Maybe it was weird living in one city and that's it, but he'd traveled living with Steve and Andre. He'd had opportunities to go elsewhere. He loved New York. "I learned to adapt. My brother was in martial arts classes, so my uncles signed me up too. There was this old, blind master at the dojo I would work with. He taught me how to meditate, block out the noise," which helped.

"That sounds pretty useful," Laurie replied, taking a bite of her sandwich and then following with a drink of her coffee.

It took her longer to eat these days, the prosthetic was useful but training to use it wasn't going as fast as she would have liked. She needed to have a serious conversation with all involved about surgery and direct neural interfacing. It would require a recovery period, but she was tired of the current limitations.

She realized, blinking herself back into focus that she'd been wool gathering, and probably silent for way too long.

"Sorry, I'm a little pre-occupied these days trying to deal with everything post injury. Um, look, I know I was a little foot in mouth on the journals - I'm not good at backing off from things. I'm sorry that it got obnoxious."

"Are you seeing anyone?" Matt asked, "trauma recovery...I assume it's trauma since it's a new thing, it takes time. It's a process. Nothing wrong with help. Or with two steps forward, one step back. I've been blind a long time now. I'm used to it and even with all the medical advancements, I don't think they can do much for chemical burns to retinas," Matt took his sunglasses if and gestured vaguely to the faint scars around his eyes.

"I've got a physical therapist as part of the recovery, and to help me get used to my prosthetic. I tend to see a psychologist when I'm feeling particularly vulnerable. It's a balance, I suppose."

Laurie studied the scars around his eyes, reaching out almost instinctively before she pulled back. She might feel the need to sooth people's injuries but she'd learnt that not everyone welcomed touch.

She stamped down on the flash of pain that brought, Penance would have found this new world a challenge but she would have met it with courage. It hurt that she'd never told her friend how much she cared for her.

"What was it like? I can imagine losing your sight was a little more traumatic then my losing an arm."

"You should probably see your therapist more regularly. I saw one for years," and that was with a more stable living environment. "It's not really a more or less traumatic sort of thing. What is nothing to me might be everything to you, you can't judge or compare. But, it was....scary. At first. I didn't have my powers yet. Those came on gradually, later. My dad was really cool with things though. He didn't pretend things were okay, but he didn't act like I was some fragile, breakable thing either. I was still just his son."

"I'll think about it - it's harder when I already know the sorts of things they're going to say. I spend more time critiquing their technique then I do actively listening."

Laurie took another bite of her sandwich and chewed thoughtfully as she mulled over Matt's words.

"It helps, doesn't it? Jean got me some work at a local clinic. Nothing huge but it's good to know I'm not losing any of my skills. So, why a lawyer, if you don't mind me asking?"

"Then you're going to the wrong one," Matt stated immediately. "You can study psychology and read the books, but find someone who can implement things in a way that works for you and impacts your life. Or it's a waste of time and money for everyone," including the psychologist. "Because they don't let the blind become doctors." He couldn't stop himself from saying it.

"Not to cause another argument, but Google David Hartman if you ever get the chance. Not only did he go to medical school, he practices as well," Laurie replied with a grin. "But I hear you on finding a new psychologist. It's hard to find ones willing to deal with mutants."

"I've heard of him," Matt replied, "I was being a smartass. Though, at the time I was looking into majors and whatnot, I hadn't. Law is interesting to me and I like it, so that worked out." Pursing his lips, Matt had to think for a minute. It was probably hard to separate it all out and be truthful with a psychologist without mentioning that. He hadn't had to as he hadn't known yet. "I can put some feelers out if you want. I know people."

"There's a limit to how much I can talk about some things, since it involves other individuals and I'd rather not hash over something that involves them without their permission - but, thanks. If you can find someone, let me know," Laurie replied, fiddling with her now empty cup before putting it back on the table and eating the last part of her sandwich. "I don't suppose you'd be up for some sparing? I'm trying to keep my hand in, but I'm not on the active rosters anymore."

"The event that caused your accident is important, but...what's more important when it comes to recovery isn't how it happened, but how you deal with it and with others," Matt offered, "It's how you deal with these new situations and things you've never had to face before. Sparring?" the question took him by surprise, "I...yeah, I guess so. If we keep it friendly." He didn't want to tell her no, that he was worried about hurting her on accident, but he didn't know her level of ability or anything either. A friendly session would be alright.

"It sort of has to be, I'm still a little too uncoordinated for true 'let me see if I can actually hurt you' sparring," Laurie responded with a smile, inclining her head slightly to show she'd heard Matt's other advice. "That's a good way to look at it, it's certainly a challenge to work out how to do the things I've always taken for granted before."

"Then sure," he could tone it down that much, right? Matt thought so. "After you finish your lunch," he added, closing his things and gathering them up, "If you have any questions or whatever, want to vent, I'm always willing to listen," he offered as he got up to leave.

"I think I shall take you up on that offer from time to time," Laurie replied, remaining in her seat as she took another sip of her coffee. "I'm glad we had this chance to converse off the journals. It's much easier to know who someone is without technology getting in the way."

"Tone and everything make a big difference," Matt agreed. He couldn't see body language very well, but he got enough when speaking face to face. "See you around then, Laurie."