Angelo and John | Friday Night

[x-pyromania.livejournal.com]

'It is 'where we are' that should make all the difference, whether we believe we belong there or not.' -Chang-rae Lee-

They had agreed to meet for drinks at eleven. John had figured the place would be a lot less crowded close to midnight, but he was dead wrong. Fortunately, he managed to secure himself a table by the corner which afforded some manner of privacy. John pulled out his pack of smokes and his trusty lighter, setting it on the table in front of him before he leaned back in his seat.

He was early, which was unusual, but he had left the mansion some hours ago because he needed to clear his head. Somehow he'd ended up at some park feeding a stray dog his dinner. Highlight of his day, really.

Angelo slipped easily into the seat opposite him, appropriating a cigarette.

"Hey."

"Hey." John offered him a light, doing so in the regular, boring way because making use of his abilities in this bar was a big no no. After he'd lighted his own cigarette, the drinks he'd ordered arrived: a few bottles of beer to share between them and a glass of bourbon for himself. John smoked in silence for a bit, content to just chill.

This was probably how friendships ended. Through painful, awkward silences. Aside from running into each other in the hallways, John hadn't spoken to Angelo much. Maybe it wasn't just him who found it easier to cope without being around someone who reminded him so much of what the old life was like.

"So. ... How was dinner?" Jesus fucking Christ. He might as well have commented on the weather.

Angelo was keeping as close to a normal appearance as he could, headaches or no headaches.

"...really? That's your opener?"

"I don't know, Ange. It's a fucking two way street. You got a better opener, go right ahead. Say something." He flicked the lid of his lighter open and close, open and close as he always did. It was a habit of his. The constant click clacking was music to his ears.

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe what've you been doing for the last six months?"

The Amara they'd known was gone forever, for one thing, and so many other people...

"What, like a play-by-play?" John reached for the bourbon. "I don't think I can keep doing this, man." He wasn’t exactly sure what he meant by that. Whether he wanted to leave or quit or just... well, he didn't know. It was just hard to deal with being in the new world; having to lie, and to pretend, and not mention a thing about what really happened, or about who they were or where they were from. "I mean... You--" He gestured to Angelo. "You seem to be doing fine with whatever the fuck passes as X-Corps these days..." Outward appearances though. John knew they were all just doing whatever they could to get by. It wasn't like any of them had a choice. He just had to be an asshole.

"So… bravo, Espinosa." He lifted his drink. "You know who would've been proud?" Of course he meant Nathan. And of course he couldn't even say the man's name out loud.

"X-Corps is dead", Angelo said flatly. "And if I seem to be doing fine..." John didn't need to say Nathan's name to get a look in Angelo's eyes that wasn't fine at all. "He's dead too. He doesn't get to be proud any more."

John shook his head. "Yeah." Funny how it was just starting to dawn on him that he really didn't have much of a place in this world. "Yeah, everyone's dead." He probably felt a little dead inside too, but getting stoned or drunk was not the best coping mechanism. One had to be extra careful around these new faces.

"--I'm thinking that I might just stick around for a little bit more, but then I'm leaving for good, Ange. This place... being here just isn't working out for me. " He wanted to leave the city, hell, maybe even the country. It wasn't like he had any kind of a plan, but he stupidly wanted to find some purpose, some reason for being alive in this goddamn world and he didn't think he was going to find it at Xavier's. John wanted to at least let Angelo know, so in case he just up and disappeared one day, it wouldn't be like he didn't say goodbye or anything. He owed him that much.

"But what about you? What are you gonna do?" John asked. "Rejoin the leather geeks?"

"No." He shook his head. "The world's changed too much. I've still got a network, or what's left of it. I'll work on that... where will you go?"

"I don't know. You know me. I'll probably have myself some grand adventure out of the country. Maybe start up some crazy movement." Somehow just knowing that he didn't need to play it safe if he was out there on his own felt good. "Guess I could help you out with getting some of those contacts later or whatever..."

"You've got my number. You call, okay, at least once a month, let me know you're alive." Because he did still care. "And give it to anyone you think can use it."

"Yeah, look at you. You just can't wait to get rid of me." He nudged a beer Angelo's way. "I'm not going to be leaving so soon, asshat. But sure. I'll keep in touch." Honestly, he was thinking that it would be easier not to. Less of a chance of him ever getting that urge to come crawling back. The mansion was evil like that. Plus he knew Angelo would be fine. He had his work, his friends and--

"How are things going with Colbert?"

Angelo picked up a beer and drank, nodding by way of answer.

"Good. It's... at least I can still talk to him, you know? Not watch my words in case I say the wrong thing where the wrong person hears it, and..." A vague gesture meant to indicate an explosion.

John nodded. He hadn't really talked to anyone about life before. He figured it was good practice anyways. It pretty much guaranteed that he wouldn't accidentally fuck things up.

"Is Joy toy still a brat?"

Angelo snorted. "That was your fault, you know. You spoiled her - but then, so did I. Got to admit I can't get her to not sleep on the bed."

"Yeah, she's probably jealous of all the attention Colbert is getting," John responded cheekily. "Feel free to drop her off at my suite if you need a time out. I bet she misses the crap I used to feed her." Or he was missing the mutt despite his allergies. There was that.

"I might just do that." He could guess at the reason John was really asking. "You can watch her for a night."

"Yep," John nodded. He had something else that was nagging at the back of his mind, but he decided to nurse his drink for a bit before bringing the subject up. The silence this time was less awkward than before so at least there was that.

The thing he kind of wanted to ask Angelo about was if he'd bothered to do a search for his family or any of his old friends. John had recently received a wedding invitation from someone who claimed to be his cousin. He hadn't responded because he was unsure of what to do. He figured whatever family he did have here wouldn’t be the same as the ones he had before, and it would just further complicate his life to be in touch with them. But the fact he had an extended family in the new world when he never had one before was something.

Angelo was watching him over his bottle top, but let the silence draw out until the bottle was empty. Eventually, "John, you know I know when there's something eating at you."

"Yeah, fucking hell..." They had been friends for way too many years for Angelo to not pick up on the fact. "You're worse than a telepath, you know that?" He didn't immediately get around to saying what was on his mind though. It was hard to bring up family because they'd both lost people they cared about.

"Seems I've got a cousin in New Orleans,” he finally said. "Who would've thought, huh?" John had been fine with assuming that he'd probably torched his entire family and that had gotten him a ticket to Xavier's or something.

"But uh... I actually wanted to ask you about... um." Wow. Words were hard. But he kind of desperately wanted to know if Juanita was somehow alive. "I mean, your mom.... is she...?" He let the words linger instead because he really couldn't bring himself to say more.

Angelo met his eyes for a moment, then decided the label on his beer bottle was fascinating.

"I don't know", he said quietly.

John had been preparing himself for bad news, but Angelo's reply gave him a flicker of hope. There was a chance now that something could possibly be alright in this messed up world. Juanita had been a good person. A kind woman. Someone they had both loved very much. He understood Angelo's apprehension though. Why he hadn't gone looking for her. But fuck that.

"Ange... don't you think you deserve to find out?"

"She could be somebody completely different", he muttered, making sure only John could possibly hear him barring anyone with mutant hearing. "Look at Jean, Tabitha - hell, look at Quire, he's not even the same race he was before."

Well, that got John to smirk a little. "I'm pretty sure we can scratch being of different race off the list." Ah, a tiny attempt at humor. "I haven't bothered to look either." He did wonder if there was a possibility that his father of all people could somehow be alive in this world. John had lost his dad at an early age. It had crossed his mind at one point to find out, but then the stubborn side of him had won out in the end.

"You know, what if we both do a search? Fuck the consequences." He realized that if either of his parents were actually alive, the fact they hadn't bothered to get in touch with him was a bad sign. But John wasn't exactly afraid to find out the truth.

Angelo considered that, then looked up at him.

"What if we do each other's?"

"Huh." It was John's turn to consider the whole idea for a moment. Somehow that didn't seem like such a bad suggestion. "So if we change our minds at any point, we can just not tell each other, right?" Or if things were too messed up, maybe he could help spare Angelo some pain.

"Yeah. If we find out something the other one doesn't need to know, we just... never found them." He offered a hand across the table.

"... Okay then." It wasn't like he had anything to lose. "... Dibs on your hot sister if you got one."

"Hurt her and I'll kill you", he said jokingly.

"Wouldn't dare." John let out a genuine smile. "Drink up, buddy."