Dom & Wade | Skiing Lessons, Friday Morning

[x-deadpool.livejournal.com]

Wade teaches Dom to ski. Sort of.


"Okay, BB-8," Wade said, turning his skis so he slowed down without actually dusting Dom in snow. "Yay retreats, team-building, togetherness, and learning." He wasn't entirely sure why he was the one out here attempting to teach someone how to ski - possibly, it was because he was the token Canadian in the group - but! He was gonna give it his best shot... and hope he didn't get either of them killed. Bunny slopes weren't deadly, right?

"Wait, I'm BB-8? Shouldn't I be Rey? Y'know, young, plucky, gonna totally kick some ass when I-- whoa!" Talking and staying upright were difficult, she was discovering, though her powers made it hard for her to actually fall on her ass. More evidence for her being a Jedi, clearly. "Anyway. I resent being the short round one."

"BB-8 is adorable," Wade said. "Also, sassy. And other adjectives that apply to you." He pointed one of his ski poles at her, keeping the other one firmly buried sharp-end-down in the snow to keep himself from sliding down the hill prematurely. "But mostly adorable."

Well that deserved a face. And got one. "Okay fine, Obi-wan, so... teach me. Fill me with your otherworldly wisdom about why people would strap plexiglass strips to their feet and throw themselves down hills instead of acting like sane people and staying inside at the bar. Because I gotta say, I don't get it."

"The bar comes later," Wade said, pulling his own particular brand of wisdom on like an ill-fitting jacket. "Like, after you've nearly frozen off various body parts, suffered tumbles, received your bruises from the gods of skiing... and, I dunno, learned to appreciate the beauty of nature or something." He grinned even as he shrugged. "Mostly, I'm pretty sure it was for transportation a thousand years ago, and then somebody decided it'd be great to add a competitive angle to things... thus, skiing was born. Also, bonding! Bonding through ridiculous sports!"

"I still say bonding through alcohol is better," she huffed, reaching up to adjust the ridiculous scarf someone had foisted on her in the lodge. "But okay. We're out here now, might as well give it a try. Plus I want to go on the ski lift at least once before we leave. That looks fun."

"We'll bond through alcohol, don't worry," Wade said. "Just, we do that after. So we're more thankful for it." Turning back so he could was basically pointed toward the downward slope, Wade said, "Right - don't let your skis cross, that ends badly. Kinda hunker down a bit, it helps keep you steady. Lean when you wanna turn, but don't lean too far. If you wanna stop, try and get your skis going sideways. I'm sorry in advance, I'm gonna suck at this teaching-you-to-ski thing."

"Well, at least if I suck at the actually-skiing thing I can just blame you," she said brightly from behind her scarf. "I like having a scapegoat. Less responsibility for me."

"Hitting trees is bad," Wade said, shifting forward toward the beginning of the slope. "Also, yes. I will be your scapegoat if you're really bad at skiing, don't worry."

"Great. Okay. Here."

***

"Yessss, I am so good at this. Did you see how I--" Dom frowned, realising that her ski buddy wasn't where she had expected him to be - namely, at the bottom of the hill. Waddling around awkwardly on her skis, she squinted and looked around the winter-white landscape, trying to spot Wade among all the beginners (mainly kids).

After the fourth beginner's slope they'd done, Wade had taken a detour. It wasn't planned, but it wasn't necessarily unplanned. At least, not in the way that ended with him having broken bones and other unhappy things. At least, not entirely.

Grumbling to himself, he walked out of the bathrooms near Dom and said, "I think they're going to revoke my Canadian citizenship."

"Hey bro, where'd you-- oh my god. What happened to your face?" She shuffled a bit closer, eyebrows almost disappearing under her knit hat. "You look like you got a little too friendly with your razor this morning."

Expression resigned, Wade uttered one word. "Snowburn."

"You're not serious." He certainly looked serious. And hilarious. And painful. "How do you even... I mean, really? It's snow! It's practically water! How'd you let yourself get beat up by water?"

"Light reflection or refraction or something," Wade said. "I suggest we forego the rest of our lesson for today and head to the bar. Where I will pretend I'm not Canadian so the bartender won't refuse to serve me on principle."

"D'you need me to stop in town and get some maple syrup for you to bathe in? Or a moose hair pillow?"

Wade laughed despite himself, then winced - then winced again, because ow. "Ow. Don't make me laugh, my entire face hurts."

"Y'know, I'm going to call the bad guys and give them a hint for next time," Dom said, carefully stepping round until she could link her arm through his. "Don't send giant lizards or dudes who can shoot lasers out of their ass, no. All you need to defeat us is snow. And a bit of sunshine. Now c'mon - pull me to the bar! Mush!"

"Aye aye, Cap'n," Wade said, trying not to laugh again. It was unlikely he'd ever hear the end of this.