xp_logs | Sooraya, Angel and Professor Xavier (Reply)

xp_dust posting in

When they are home, Sooraya tries to stay strong, but fails...

Trigger warning: Graphic depiction and discussion of lynching

Sooraya eyed herself in the mirror as she wrapped the towel around her hair. Her skin was a little red here and there from the hot water, but in general she managed to pull herself together enough not to worry Angel... she hoped. Pulling on her bathrobe, she stepped outside the bathroom.

Angel was sitting in the living room, pecking away at her laptop. She looked up when she heard the door open, smiling. "Hey lobster," she teased. "Surprised you didn't burn in there."

What were a couple of minor burns compared to what happened to Kaori and Ray? As soon as the names played through her mind again, her eyes filled up with tears and she had to stifle a sob.

That caught Angel's attention. "Whoa, hey, I was kidding," she said quickly, standing up. "What's wrong?"

Her shoulder shook as another sob forced its way out and the tears finally flowed over. Sooraya sucked in a breath in the hope to regain control, but it only came out sounding like a cat being strangled. "I... I donna... talk... it." She managed to get out as she folded into herself.

"Come on, c'mere." Angel grabbed Sooraya, carefully pulling her to the couch and sitting her down. "Come on, you're okay, it's alright..."

"It's not..." Sooraya muttered an after a long exhale. "It's not... bringing... back Kaori and Ray."

"Who?" Angel asked, bewildered.

"Underground... They hanged them, Angel." The images Quentin's and her mind had created surged once more and she had to lean forward as the accompanying nausea made her stomach twist.

"What?" Angel's shocked quickly turned to anger. She pressed it down. Anger wouldn't help now. "Who?"

"Don't know... Think I'm gonna... sick..." Sooraya tried to fight the nausea down, the sobs still bubbling up only make it harder to keep everything where she wanted to keep it.

Angel reached for the small trashcan, keeping it close by and rubbing Sooraya's back. "Deep breaths..."

Sooraya leaned forward more, resting her head against the table in front of them. She stifled the sobs as much as possible, focusing on taking in breaths as deep as possible. Slowly the feeling of nausea subsided the bit and she made to sit up.

Her hand caught on a magazine on the table and Sooraya looked at, pulling it close. The front cover showed an article about a woman who had risen to be a doctor from being homeless on the streets as a teen... Kaori had shown her a crumpled copy of the same magazine, obviously purloined from somewhere, voicing her hope that one day she could be that woman and go to medical school as well... It had been her biggest dream...

Angel bit her lip, watching Sooraya. She had no idea what to say or do. They'd gone through some hard times, of course, and there had been breakdowns, but this... "Sooraya?" She asked quietly.

"Kaori... she has this one." Sooraya replied, her voice strangely flat though her hands shook. "It gave her hope. Ray... he is... was... a bit of a prankster. He would hold it above her head so she could not get it..."

"Sooraya, I... I have no idea what's going on," Angel said honestly. "Kaori and Ray, they're the ones who...?"

She nodded and buried her head in her hands. It was quiet for a long moment and then a soft wail escaped from her hands. Sooraya's shoulders shook as she let go.

Angel wrapped her arms around her, hugging her tight. "I'm sorry... I'm so sorry..."

The wail became louder as Sooraya rocked back and forth. She didn't notice the arms of her friend around her, nor the other attempts at comfort. The faces of Ray and Kaori, pain and terror still etched in their frozen expressions, danced in front of her eyes.

Angel frowned, starting to get worried. "Sooraya?"

Suddenly Sooraya's fist shot out, meeting the wood of the table with loud bang. She hit the table again and again, her knuckles splitting and drops of blood stained the wood.

"Sooraya!" Angel grabbed her wrists to stop her.

She hardly noticed Angel grabbing her wrists, just that the pain blossoming in her hand was burning away the images in her mind at least a little. Sooraya curled into herself as much as possible, still keening out her grief.

Assured that Sooraya wouldn't resume her assault of table, Angel fumbled for her phone, finding the professor's number and hitting call with shaking fingers. Sooraya needed more help than she could give.

Professor Xavier comes to comfort Sooraya.

Trigger warning: Graphic depiction and discussion of lynching

Sooraya still had her head hidden in her arms while kneeling on the ground, her mind whirling around both the pain of her hand and the images darting around in her head. Faintly she did realize that Angel had stood up, opened the door to let someone in and then had quietly retreated to what must have been her room.

"Sooraya," a voice said to her gently, followed by an equally soft touch in her mind. The Professor. ~Sooraya.~ "Angel called for me to come and talk to you. May I come in?"

~Professor? ~ Sooraya lifted up her head, her eyes searching around the room. Tears were still flowing down her cheeks and she could not quiet the sobs enough to say something, even though she wanted to. Her mind did reach out though, a jumbled mess of words, images and emotions.

The jumble was met with a soothing presence, warm and light. There was a slight hum as Charles propelled his chair forward into the suite proper, to a spot close to the weeping young woman. ~It's all right, Sooraya. I'm here.~ He did not reach out physically - not just yet. ~Angel fetched me. She was worried about you.~

Sooraya felt herself calming just a bit at the warmth she felt. ~Professor? Kaori and Ray... They...~ From the jumble rose one clear picture of the alley, two bodies dangling from their individual ropes, their faces twisted in agony. A new sob forced itself out as the grief surged through her again.

~I know, Sooraya. I'm so desperately sorry.~ Now Charles reached out, laying a hand on Sooraya's shaking shoulder. As he did, the details of the images blurred slightly; not erased, but their stark immediacy reduced. ~I'm sorry that you had to find them, and even more sorry that it happened at all.~

~I keep seeing them... I can't get it out of my head.~ She calmed a little more, but simply projecting what she was thinking seemed so much easier than trying to speak out loud. ~I could lock it away out there...~ A picture of her talking to the police surged to the forefront. ~... I had to try to get justice for them... But now...~

~You tried your best. No-one could fault that. And none of us is omnipotent. ~ Charles squeezed her shoulder slightly, letting his concern and compassion drift into her mind, a warm blanket around her frayed mental state. ~And while you couldn't save them, justice is not out of the question. We can help find who did this and bring them to the proper authorities.~

~I hope so...~ Sooraya didn't sound too sure of that fact. It was just too hard to believe at the moment. ~I'm just... why'd they have to hurt Kaori and Ray so... why do they hate us this much? They didn't do anything bad.~ Her voice almost sounded like that of a little girl, begging her father to tell her that world was not so ugly as it seemed at that moment.

Charles didn't try to convince her of anything - now was the time for comfort, not advice. ~Who we are, what we can do... it frightens them. And some people react to fear by hating the thing that causes it. I've spent so many years trying to combat that fear and hatred, and sometimes it seems like it will never end. But we cannot lash out against that hate, even though it does these terrible things.~ Behind his words was a sense of weariness and deep, deep sadness, but among that was a spark of hope, of determination. Charles' dream had been greatly battered since the events that had led to this dark new world, but he clung to it tenaciously. ~We have to continue showing them we are just as human as they are.~

~We defend them against those who hate... we help them... we risk our lives for them... But it doesn't seem to make a difference. How long have you been fighting, Professor?~ Sooraya's replied sadly. ~How long have you been fighting and so little has changed that this still happens. It only seems to be getting worse. Not better.~ Her sobbing was subsiding, but her tears still escaped.

~It can feel that way, yes. And sometimes I wonder what much more we can do, especially in this new world. But if we do not continue the fight, who will? And how many more innocents will suffer?~ Charles reached into the jacket of his suit and pulled out a snowy white handkerchief. "Here," he said aloud, offering it to her.

Sooraya accepted the handkerchief quietly, wiping the tears of her cheeks as she quietly thought about those words. But her head was still cluttered and softly replied, her voice sounding rather raw. "I don't know, Professor. At this moment, I really don't know. It's too much to think about."

"You don't have to, Sooraya. You've been through a lot - you're allowed to take time to process and rest." Charles gave her a sad smile. "Let us help with your burden until you are able to shoulder it again."

She accepted the comfort with a small nod, before adding quietly. "I feel so tired, professor. But I'm afraid to sleep. I don't wanna see everything again..."

"I can help you with that, for now at least. With your permission." He touched his temple lightly. "I may not be as strong as I used to be, but I can give you a night's rest, at least."

"Please?" Sooraya almost felt pathetically grateful at the idea of just being able to sink away in an undisturbed sleep. Something else occurred to her she wanted to check first though. "Kaori... I think she doesn't have family... If that is true... I want to take care of that she gets a good place... But I don't know if I have..." Her voice trailed off and the words 'the money' were clear in her mind.

"Arrangements will be made, for both of them. We don't abandon those who fight for us." He reached out and brushed her forehead with gentle fingers, at the same time planting a delayed suggestion for her to sleep without dreaming. It would delay long enough for her to get to bed. "Relax and get some rest. Let me take care of things for you for now."

What felt like a wave of sleepiness went through her and Sooraya rose hesitantly, shaking one foot that had fallen asleep. "Thank you..." She spoke softly, reaching out to touch the Professor's hand briefly. "Quentin... can you?" She let out a yawn and blinked twice.

"Of course." He turned his hand to clasp hers briefly, reiterating the sensations of comfort and calm. "Go, take care of yourself. I'll have Angel look in on you now and then. She'll be happy for the chance to help." Then he made a slight shooing gesture, that sad smile reappearing. "Before you fall asleep on your feet, child. Go to bed."

Sooraya yawned again and headed towards the door of her room. Just at the door she looked over her shoulder, she spoke softly: "Goodnight Professor." A moment later the door closed behind her with a muted click.