xp_logs | Felicia and North; Sundays Are For Boujie Groceries

Yeah, life is weird and terrible, but people still need to eat. Look, on screen progress of the North and Felicia relationship in a short, only kind of sickening, log!

"Oh my god. Look! Look look looooook, it's a pre-peeled orange for $6 take my picture with it, Instagram needs to see," Felicia cried, making circles around the small cart North was pushing as she dug her phone out of her pocket, the other still holding the plastic container prize. "I'm not sure I can even come up with an insufferable enough hashtag group for this."

"I am sure you will find a way," North said, in a tone just a hair's breadth short of an eyeroll, but snapped three shots (because one was never enough) and offered it up for her inspection without complaint. "Shall we have cod tonight?"

Felicia beamed at him, entirely undeterred, then flipped through the shots, making a happy noise at one of them. "Yes, fish good. What're you thinking for side, I'm on a mid carb week so I can't do giant servings of pasta, what about the roasted tomato and artichoke thing?" she said, already cropping and working on filters as they strolled down the aisle.

"I can do it baked with feta so there are less calories," he replied, lips quirked in amusement as he tore a bag from the roll and started picking out the requested vegetables. "Does that mean no dessert for a week too?"

"Sweetheart," Felicia said, looking away from her phone to shoot him a exaggeratedly coy look, corners of her mouth twitching from trying to hold back a grin. "I always leave calories for dessert. Though in this case I'm sure we can come up with some way to work it off if I forget."

North returned her look with a smirk, tossed the greens into the trolley and made for the dairy aisle. "I do not think you need to count your calories, even without all the working out you have been doing."

"You say that as pretty much the worst culprit for my impromptu cheat days," Felicia shot back, pausing to finish something, slipping her phone in her pocket, before following along docilely. "I'm going to show up for brunch with my mother and mysteriously the card of her personal trainer will end up in my bag. We can't all live on liquor, cigarettes, and spite, but tell her that."

“Funny, that is the exact formula I lived on for years,” North said, leaning over and brushing his lips against Felicia’s cheek as he picked up a can from the shelf behind her and tossed it into the cart. “Not the healthiest. You should leave the contact card of a healthcare practitioner for her. I could make some recommendations.”

Felicia smiled, giving his ass a little squeeze as she wandered by, suddenly very interested in creamed corn. "Agreed, let's keep this more appealing you. And if it could be this you away from my mother, now that I think about it, even better, I say this with warm feelings in your direction but I legitimately am not sure who would survive that meal."

"I used to think she was punishing me for still existing, but honestly it may just be living as long as possible to let my dead father know what he did was wrong as to not to encourage the behaviour in the future," she continued, finally looking over her shoulder with a surprisingly open half smile. "My family is nuts. And not worth the battle. I go to the bi-weekly meal, I get reminded again I'm not married. Repeat until one of us dies."

"Preferably her first, ja?" The tiny quirk of his lips belied exactly how serious he was about that, never mind the tango with death they were constantly caught up in. Pushing a shopping cart with one hand was not ideal for control, but the German reached out and tangled his fingers with hers, large palms warm against her considerably cooler skin. North tugged Felicia away from the creamed corn and toward the cashier. "Otherwise, your mother and I would be forced to be in the same room for your funeral, and I cannot guarantee the restraint necessary to keep me from sending her your way right then."

"Aww... you are going to get so drunk when I kick it," Felicia replied, allowing herself to be pulled along, though sneaking a bottle of wine as they moved past. Despite her flippant wording and pleased laugh at the brief glance she received from another customer, she gave his hand a little squeeze in something like reassurance. "Fine, your threat was successful, I will try my best to time my demise after hers. If luck can't keep me alive I mean, what is it good for anyway?"