Doug & Darcy | Consideration

[xp_darcy]

Doug and Darcy have a late-night talk about showing a little consideration.



Doug hoped that Darcy was in her room as he knocked at the door. He'd...well, he'd let himself be distracted by things, and that was part of why he was looking for her, to hopefully do a better job of using his words and all.

Darcy groaned quietly from her blanket cocoon, sticking a bookmark in her current reading and putting it to the side. She shuffled out of bed, leaving the book on her desk and making her way to the door, wondering who was disturbing her with Laurie out for the evening. Maybe... she pulled the door open, tilting her head at Doug. "Did something happen?" she asked carefully from her place in the doorway. "Is Topaz back?"

Doug did his best not to let his brain flagellate him that Darcy's first reaction would be that he'd only come to her in an emergency. That was why he was here, after all, to try and do better on that score. "No, nothing's happened," he told her. "I wanted to come check on you, see how you were doing, maybe sit and talk some." He smiled a bit wryly. "I realized that I hadn't, even though I meant to, and...yeah." She looked tired. "Can I come in?"

"Y.. yeah, of course." Darcy's voice was small, shoulders stiff as she stepped back and let Doug inside. "What kind of talk is this? Sitting? Neutral space? Other?"

Oh geez, the emotional load of 'we should talk'. "Sitting, or cuddling if you'd rather," Doug told her. "Nothing bad," he continued, low and reassuring. "More like I want to be doing better by you." He was interrupted by a headbutt to the ankles, and he reached down to scritch Midnight behind the ears. "Yes, hello, I'm happy to see you too," he told the cat. He looked back up hopefully and affectionately at Darcy.

"Shoes off and.. I guess you can join me on the bed, unless you'd rather sit." Darcy ran a light hand down Midnight's side, moving back to the pile of blankets on her bed and burrowing into them. She desperately wished Laurie was around to help her stay calm, but if she was, would Doug even be at her door? Her smile was hesitant as she made space. "Midnight's been a little extra affectionate the past few days." Having Midnight around didn't stop her nightmares, of course, but she was a small, warm comfort on the nights where Darcy was alone and woke up shaking and crying.

Doug toed his shoes off and left them lined neatly by the door before crossing to Darcy's bed and getting under the covers as well, close enough to hug and touch, but waiting to see if Darcy was okay with it. "I'm sorry," he started simply. "I should have come to check on you sooner." He'd thrown himself into trying to help with everything Topaz related, and forgotten that Darcy might need support from him too.

"I.. I would have liked that, yes. But Kevin and Laurie helped, in the immediate." Darcy trailed off, not sure how to articulate her thoughts. "I knew your focus would be on Marie-Ange and Amanda and getting Topaz back when I sent you off. I just thought.. well, it doesn't matter, because I was obviously wrong."

"No, -I- was wrong," Doug said firmly in reply, but still careful to keep his voice free of recrimination. "I care about you. A lot," he admitted. "And I didn't do a very good job of showing it this past week."

Darcy shifted, chin tucking into her chest. "Not really," she agreed. "I was pretty sure if there wasn't news you were here to tell me it isn't working. I would've liked to know up front instead of the mostly silent treatment, but.. it's fine. It's not an easy situation. I wouldn't blame you. It can just be a bit of fun, didn't work out, no hard feelings."

Doug reached out to gently touch Darcy's hand where it lay on the sheets next to her. The tucked chin, closed off, he suspected she wasn't going to be the first to reach out for contact. Which was fair, he was the one who had contributed to this, it was on him to help fix it. "I don't want it to be just a bit of fun," he said. "I didn't before, I don't now. I want this to work out, but I know I goofed up with being silent and withdrawing." She could still decide it wasn't worth it, and he'd respect that, but he hoped he could have a chance to prove it to her. "I'm here, I don't want to be anywhere else, and I want to show you that you're important to me."

"Okay." Darcy let out a shuddery breath, fingers curling around Doug's tentatively. "I don't handle the silent treatment well, in case I haven't told you before."

"No more silent treatment," Doug promised, drawing an X over his heart with the hand not holding Darcy's. "I promise that if something comes up that I'm going to be busy with, I will still make sure to check in with you." He squeezed her fingers a bit with his.

"I don't need to be placated like a child." Darcy half-shrugged from her place in bed, annoyance clear in her voice. "It'd be different, if you'd been sent on a mission or something. I can handle busy. I can handle undercover, comms dark." Her voice choked as she kept talking, and she pulled her hand away so she could wrap it around her waist. "What I don't handle well is the realization that I'm barely even an afterthought. That I'm a fast call for a good time, but not worth more than a passing thought and dismissal when shit goes down. You say you want more than a bit of fun, but your past actions and lack of words say otherwise."

Shit. Doug winced that time. But she wasn't wrong. "You're right about my past actions," he admitted. "And I can't go back and change them. But you are way more than an afterthought to me, and I want to try and prove that to you." He sighed. "And I know it's not an instant fix, it'll take work and time. But I want to do that work, and I want to give you my time, because you are absolutely worth it."

"I don't want to wreck our friendship," Darcy whispered miserably. "And I'm really afraid it will. That's why I didn't say anything for so long. Well, and the whole you being in a relationship with multiple terrifyingly competent people thing. I'm still not sure how I fit in there."

"I think our friendship would be ruined just as much by me being an ass, romance or no," Doug countered. "And I'm barely in part of a relationship with only one of those competent people these days," he went on. "I mean, I'm not in a relationship with Amanda, that's just Angie. And she's mostly in that these days, and Wade is god only knows where." He shrugged. "But even if I was, I would -make- room for you. Because you're amazing, and you make me laugh, and you make me feel comfortable just being myself in a way that even Marie-Ange doesn't."

"I'm more forgiving of my friends, given my own pants on head asshole tendencies," Darcy rebuffed lightly. "And I don't need all the consideration for this to work. I don't even need to be first, most of the time. But Doug, I can't.. I can't. Not for a relationship. Can't be an afterthought, can't just be around for the easy times and cast aside when it's hard. Can't try to put that care in and feel like I'm not getting any of it back. I try to balance you and Laurie. All I'm asking in return is the same consideration."

Doug nodded. "That I can absolutely promise. I obviously can't promise I'll be perfect, but I promise you the consideration and balance I forgot to give this week."

Darcy gave him a wan smile. "Don't need perfection, can't keep up with that. Or promises you can't keep. But I'll hold you to that, and do my best to give you that same consideration and balance." She reached her hand out again. "And maybe a hug? I feel silly saying this, but I've hated feeling like it wasn't okay to just show up and grab a quick cuddle outside of work."

"Absolutely." Doug took the offered hand and pulled Darcy into a loose but comforting hug. "It's not silly at all," he reassured her. "I missed the cuddling too."

Tension Darcy didn't realize she had released from her shoulders as she faceplanted into Doug's chest. "Hope you weren't planning on leaving if I didn't tell you to fuck off," she said, voice muffled from her place against his chest. "I'm assigning you body pillow duty tonight. Maybe I'll sleep better."

Doug rubbed his hand along Darcy's back. "Not going anywhere," he told her. "Get some sleep, I'll be here."

Comments

[xp_jubilee]

Love this. Who knew using your words would work so well?