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xp_logsThe idiot twins go for a massage and Warren asks an important question.
"So then I said to the woman, if you're going to demand I put that in my mouth, the least you could do is wax." Warren sighed. "She expected me to indulge in a horribly hairy experience. Can you imagine the gall of her? I mean, it's already bad enough that I'm cheating on you with her but to have her ask me to debase myself ..." He gave his head a shake. "Uncalled for."
To the masseuse's credit, they didn't even blink although he swore he could feel hands tightening. This was one of his favourite spas, and as the staff were Hellfire Club adjacent, they were mutants of their own right. This meant that Warren could be fully relaxed, and not worry about his wings making a fuss. What he did need to make sure is that no one took a feather as a souvenir but at this place, that wasn't likely.
Unfortunately for Warren, because of the staff's origin, freaking them out was almost impossible. Didn't mean he wasn't going to keep trying though.
"I swear, my darling, I've never seen such a hairy nipple."
Felicia let out a low moan as her masseuse released a knot in her shoulder, sending it unravelling down her back. "It's because you're a piece of shit and deserve bad things to happen to you." She hummed contently, unperturbed, as she wiggled her hips before continuing; this was a regular happenstance. "Love you baby but I also remember our wedding night. And my equestrian coach who refuses to do more than lightly groom. Buy some dental floss like everyone else."
"How am I supposed to floss when you know I fired my bathroom attendant? His fingers were too big, and I was so tired of tasting salmon on his hands. There are other fish in the sea, why couldn't he eat swordfish like everyone else and -- hey, focus! Leave the wings alone." He glared at his masseuse who honestly wasn't doing anything wrong -- he just liked keeping her on edge because he could. Being with Fi was like the old days of giving zero fucks about anyone, and just throwing money at problems. "Speaking of your equestrian coach, I'm thinking we might need to budget this year. With this economy, is it really prudent to have twice daily lessons when you could just be paying him to fuck like the rest of us?"
"Oh my god, stop. We've all given consent here, haven't we? Sandra, I have your consent don't I?" Felicia asked, turning her head to look at her masseuse who gave a smile and little nod, eyes wide. "See? It's fine, let them do their job. My safeword is calico. Which, speaking of, one of those lessons is for riding and one of them is also for riding, I don't see what you're not understanding."
"All I'm saying is get railed for free like the rest of us." He motioned a hand to his neck. It was terrible how completely rich he could be sometimes, but truly, this was the world he was raised to be in. Everyone beneath you, no one your equal -- except each other and only if you talk them down. It was a weird thing to slip into sometimes, because of how natural it was. He liked to think he'd become a better person but deep down, this was kind of who he was and he slightly hated that about himself.
Not enough to fully commit and change though.
"Speaking of, since the only fucking we do lately is fucking each other over, our renewal ceremony is getting scheduled this weekend. It's the only one that works this year, and since I can't be bothered to remember our anniversary, I figured this day would work. Will you be there or should I hire a look a like again?"
Felicia made an irritated noise, gesturing around the room, a hand snaking out under the towel and back under again. "I'm sorry, do you see my personal assistant? Do I have access to my phone? I barely know where I am right now. Why wouldn't you just sync our calendars like every other time? Or are you planning on surprising everyone and arriving somewhat sober this time? A whole new you."
Warren snorted and lazily swatted her way. "Nah, that's what uppers are for. To get through that. Oh, and speaking of weddings that I absolutely brought up, you're going to be my best bitch, right? For my other more real wedding that I'm having?" Jumping from topic to topic, persona to persona was something he was very good at. "I wasn't sure if I needed to do some grand gesture, like announce at our renewal that I'm engaged to someone else and surprise, you're getting divorced but I thought since you're pregnant with my baby, you'll still have a piece of me and be fine."
The silence in the room was deafening. All that he could hear was the soothing waterfall noises. Did he finally break the poor massage therapists?
Felicia waited until her RMT cautiously returned to the knot in her shoulder before breaking out into giggles, vision only a little blurry as she continued to stare at the expensive wooden floors, not that her makeup would dare betray her later. "Of course I am, as if you ever had a choice. Though I do expect my formal invitation in the form of jewellery and I'm picking my own outfit."
That seemed fair, and Warren said as much. "Alright, I can do that. I can't spend more on your jewellry than Bobbi's, that hardly seems fair, but I'm sure I can swing it." He grinned. "This is why you're my favourite though. That'll never change."
"And I would never expect it. I love Bobbi. If I'd known she was so immune to our brand of bullshit I would have accidentally started sleeping with and fallen for her instead. We could have played cops and robbers," Felicia immediately soothed, somewhat. She seemed to know he'd understand. "Love you, darling. And so happy for your stupid ass."
"So then I said to the woman, if you're going to demand I put that in my mouth, the least you could do is wax." Warren sighed. "She expected me to indulge in a horribly hairy experience. Can you imagine the gall of her? I mean, it's already bad enough that I'm cheating on you with her but to have her ask me to debase myself ..." He gave his head a shake. "Uncalled for."
To the masseuse's credit, they didn't even blink although he swore he could feel hands tightening. This was one of his favourite spas, and as the staff were Hellfire Club adjacent, they were mutants of their own right. This meant that Warren could be fully relaxed, and not worry about his wings making a fuss. What he did need to make sure is that no one took a feather as a souvenir but at this place, that wasn't likely.
Unfortunately for Warren, because of the staff's origin, freaking them out was almost impossible. Didn't mean he wasn't going to keep trying though.
"I swear, my darling, I've never seen such a hairy nipple."
Felicia let out a low moan as her masseuse released a knot in her shoulder, sending it unravelling down her back. "It's because you're a piece of shit and deserve bad things to happen to you." She hummed contently, unperturbed, as she wiggled her hips before continuing; this was a regular happenstance. "Love you baby but I also remember our wedding night. And my equestrian coach who refuses to do more than lightly groom. Buy some dental floss like everyone else."
"How am I supposed to floss when you know I fired my bathroom attendant? His fingers were too big, and I was so tired of tasting salmon on his hands. There are other fish in the sea, why couldn't he eat swordfish like everyone else and -- hey, focus! Leave the wings alone." He glared at his masseuse who honestly wasn't doing anything wrong -- he just liked keeping her on edge because he could. Being with Fi was like the old days of giving zero fucks about anyone, and just throwing money at problems. "Speaking of your equestrian coach, I'm thinking we might need to budget this year. With this economy, is it really prudent to have twice daily lessons when you could just be paying him to fuck like the rest of us?"
"Oh my god, stop. We've all given consent here, haven't we? Sandra, I have your consent don't I?" Felicia asked, turning her head to look at her masseuse who gave a smile and little nod, eyes wide. "See? It's fine, let them do their job. My safeword is calico. Which, speaking of, one of those lessons is for riding and one of them is also for riding, I don't see what you're not understanding."
"All I'm saying is get railed for free like the rest of us." He motioned a hand to his neck. It was terrible how completely rich he could be sometimes, but truly, this was the world he was raised to be in. Everyone beneath you, no one your equal -- except each other and only if you talk them down. It was a weird thing to slip into sometimes, because of how natural it was. He liked to think he'd become a better person but deep down, this was kind of who he was and he slightly hated that about himself.
Not enough to fully commit and change though.
"Speaking of, since the only fucking we do lately is fucking each other over, our renewal ceremony is getting scheduled this weekend. It's the only one that works this year, and since I can't be bothered to remember our anniversary, I figured this day would work. Will you be there or should I hire a look a like again?"
Felicia made an irritated noise, gesturing around the room, a hand snaking out under the towel and back under again. "I'm sorry, do you see my personal assistant? Do I have access to my phone? I barely know where I am right now. Why wouldn't you just sync our calendars like every other time? Or are you planning on surprising everyone and arriving somewhat sober this time? A whole new you."
Warren snorted and lazily swatted her way. "Nah, that's what uppers are for. To get through that. Oh, and speaking of weddings that I absolutely brought up, you're going to be my best bitch, right? For my other more real wedding that I'm having?" Jumping from topic to topic, persona to persona was something he was very good at. "I wasn't sure if I needed to do some grand gesture, like announce at our renewal that I'm engaged to someone else and surprise, you're getting divorced but I thought since you're pregnant with my baby, you'll still have a piece of me and be fine."
The silence in the room was deafening. All that he could hear was the soothing waterfall noises. Did he finally break the poor massage therapists?
Felicia waited until her RMT cautiously returned to the knot in her shoulder before breaking out into giggles, vision only a little blurry as she continued to stare at the expensive wooden floors, not that her makeup would dare betray her later. "Of course I am, as if you ever had a choice. Though I do expect my formal invitation in the form of jewellery and I'm picking my own outfit."
That seemed fair, and Warren said as much. "Alright, I can do that. I can't spend more on your jewellry than Bobbi's, that hardly seems fair, but I'm sure I can swing it." He grinned. "This is why you're my favourite though. That'll never change."
"And I would never expect it. I love Bobbi. If I'd known she was so immune to our brand of bullshit I would have accidentally started sleeping with and fallen for her instead. We could have played cops and robbers," Felicia immediately soothed, somewhat. She seemed to know he'd understand. "Love you, darling. And so happy for your stupid ass."
