xp_logs | Log: Alex and XFI & friends - Backdated to January 3rd

XFI and friends get together to give Alex a send-off, where stories are told and there's toasting and roasting (the latter mainly of Warren).

"...So the woman actually meets me at the hotel, which I wasn't expecting. And she was really weirdly calm considering I'd just told her that her husband was definitely cheating on her. She asks me the room number, I tell her, and I follow her up because I'm curious, ya know? His room is close to the elevators, so I just kind of hang out there pretending to be on my phone. She knocks on the door, and he doesn't answer. She keeps knocking - not getting louder or anything, just really calm. Husband finally opens the door - completely naked by the way - and starts to ask what the hell she wants. He probably thinks she's housekeeping or something. She pulls a manilla envelope out of her coat, hands it to him, and says, 'I want a divorce.' Then she turns around and leaves."

Alex stuck his noodle-laden chopsticks in his mouth. "And that's definitely the craziest non-mutant case I've ever worked on."

"And so tame by comparison to everything else we've done," Quentin sassed, a trio of potstickers make loop-de-loops around his extended pointer finger. "Flatscans pay the bills, though, so at least they're good for something."

"Hey now," came a cheery correction from the other side of the table. Arthur sat comfortably in a high-backed chair nursing his own noodle cup, basking in all of the good vibes of having family and friends together. "Q, you know the rules. But, since we have guests here to celebrate our guy Alex Summers, I..." He raised a beer to emphasize the point, "Will happily explain."

Arthur leaned forward, eyes serious. "Chinese night is a tradition, and every case is a memory. But! The catch. Alex hid one tiny lie in there. What didn't happen? Guess wrong, you drink. Winner gets to tell the next story about Mr. Dane-Summers."

Beaming, he sat back to wait for the first guess.

"I wanna say the completely naked part," Bobbi said with a grin, "buuuuut I also want to drink, so take that into consideration," she added, raising her glass in a toast to Alex and taking a big mouthful regardless if she was right or wrong.

"I wish it was the naked part," Alex groaned, covering his eyes. "There's not enough alcohol to forget that."

Sue paused, chopsticks halfway to her mouth as she glanced up, a grin curling up the corner of her lips. "I'm with big sis in wanting the drink but...I'm gonna say no way was she so calm and cool about it. She had to at least have slapped him or something! I mean if it was me he...let's just say I've got these vats of acid and I might end up needing one."

"Ding ding ding!" Alex pointed his chopsticks at Sue. "She was extremely calm when she spoke, but at the end she slapped him in the face with the entire folder of divorce documents. Dude was still so shocked about seeing her that I don't think he actually noticed."

Kyle had sat, on Alex's invitation, on the desk that was soon to be Formerly Alex's, cross-legged, bare toes sticking out of ragged crochet'd socks, with a box of chicken satay on sticks. "So bro opened the door thinking it was housekeeping with his junk out? Rude. Housekeeping doesn't need that shit. What the fuck, I hope she got, I dunno, the house, the boat, the dog..."

"You know how people like that are, man. The help isn't really people."

"Here, here!" Wait, was that a bit too jubilant? Warren doesn't know but frankly, Warren doesn't care. "I'm people like that, and I concur. I've opened the door without pants on many a time, in fragrante delicto ..." A pause. Oh the edible was definitely working. "Flagrant. Although..." He thought for a moment. "My junk does smell great .... I condition my pubes."

Sam had mostly been keeping to himself, observing his new coworkers, trying to get a feel for how things worked at X-Factor, and then...and then the winged man had said that. "Doin' a lot of yoga then to get close enough to smell? Or are you quizzin' folks after the fact?"

"I mean, he does have an exit interview after the ol' entrance and exit," Bobbi admitted, having had maybe a few too many mouthfuls outside of all the toasting.

"I won't say any more though, babe... except I was gonna review you on Yelp, but my review was more like 'Welp,'" she said before chuckling and raising a hand and waving it at him. "I'm kidding, I'm kidding!"

"Goddamn, Bobbi. You could at least have left 5 stars with no commentary." He shook his head. "Alex, you're lucky you're leaving this toxic place. No respect."

Alani was staring into her fried rice, chopsticks still raised to pick through it before Warren Worthington had opened his mouth. She shot Sam a confused face with a shrug, not entirely sure what to say to him and instead focusing on the brunette woman in the room, lips splitting into a bemused grin. “And you work for this man, Hope? Willingly?”

"You know I like unique challenges. And believe me, he pays me handsomely for the privilege of having me work for him." Hope retorted as she gestured delicately with her chopsticks. "Even more to fix those crazy issues that seem to keep popping up in his wake."

"Excuse you," Warren scoffed. "I am a delight. Everyone that works for me says so ... mainly because I never ask for opinions, I just naturally assume correctly that I'm fantastic." He grinned. "And just for the record -- Hope confirmed she works for me and fixes my issues. That means all my issues. There are so many. It's amazing."

“I feel stupider for having heard all of that,” Maya noted from her position holding up the wall by the door. She had a drink in her hand but had been noticeably holding it with little change in level for most of the party. “Alex, why are you leaving me with these people?”

"Sorry Maya, there's a pretty lady waiting to cuddle with me," Alex said cheerfully. "Important business, must go."

Sam looked towards Maya and nodded. “Gotta agree with Maya, this isn’t exactly giving me a vote of confidence on my new workplace….”

Warren glanced up from his egg roll. "Wait, you work here?"

"Mr. Worthington..." Hope rolled her eyes, setting down her carton and chopsticks. "I have to inform you that this is my night off and in case of incidents I do charge triple of my usual emergency tarif. So think wisely before you continue to speak."

"I mean, he is delightful, or you know the life of the party. And I don't say this because life would be absolutely boring without him, though...life's gonna be pretty drab without you too Alex. Are you sure we can't convince you to stay? Quentin can even give you a raise or something!"

"Alex isn't ours to hold onto," Arthur countered. "He's half of a dynamic duo. Lorna's out there pining for his embrace, likely set against a mountain and a sunset. Maybe she's inherited a Christmas Tree farm. We can't let our big city dreams stop their big Hallmark moment."

He raised his drink. "Sue's right, though. Like usual. It won't be the same around here without you."

"I've been trying to give Alex a raise since I was 18 and have never succeeded," Quentin grumbled, though there was a hint of a grin that for once he didn't try to hide. "We're just lucky Sam came by when he did to fill the hole Alex is leaving behind." His grin widened, and he joined Arthur in raising his own drink.

Sam raised his own drink and grinned at Quenting before offering a teasing. "Well, I can promise you I'll never turn down a raise if you wanna give me one."

Quentin examined everyone in the room, looking like he was about to pop. "You all heard that, right? It's not sexual harassment if he publicly consents like that."

"That's in the HR manual.", Warren quipped. "And had saved me from countless lawsuits. I'm debating making that my family crest."

Alex gave Sam an apologetic smile. "I'll leave you my number. Text me before you say yes to anything Quentin offers and I'll let you know if he's talking about sex or not."

Arthur cleared his throat. "Hey, don't leave a guy hanging. Alex," he grinned, "Cheers. You are always going to be our friend, and I wish you all of the luck I have in figuring out life without us."

Somehow, that was delivered with all a heartfelt sincerity of a blessing for the road. Glasses were raised, toasts were made, and it was time for their friend to move on.