Marius, Topaz: Reciprocity

[xp_emplate]

Marius' second visitor is somewhat less precious about his feelings than Kyle. Understandably, as she had previously used them as the basis for a magical IED.



Marius leaned against the wall as he studied his reflection. He'd been putting this off the inspection until he'd been allowed to remove the dressings and shower; it was something he'd been dreading, but it was unavoidable. He'd lived with his mutation for too long to trust his body would remain the same shape it was expected to be.

What he saw was . . . himself. Superficially, at least. Olive skin, curly hair, amber eyes over a prominent nose. Still handsome, still whole. Inexplicable growths and anatomical distortions: absent, which, with him, was never a guarantee. Of course he'd already known the mouths were still there. The molecular control and teleportation Akkaba had unearthed, however, were still gone. A factory reset indeed.

Almost. He pressed a hand to his chest. Akkaba's brand was still there, newly scored by the gouges he'd torn and lightly decorated with the odd suture or steri strip. Viewed one way the mark was like an eye, viewed another it was like a star. It had been carved across his pectorals, marking him as one of Nur's chosen.

So much for trips to the beach.

His reverie was interrupted by a knock.

Topaz didn't wait to be invited in. He might ask who was there first, and there was really no reason for him to open the door to her. Not because of the whole stabbing thing - they just didn't know each other outside of that one battle. So she let herself in, the door sliding shut behind her as her eyes zeroed in on the reflection of the carvings.

"I hear there are people who do tattoos for scars and such."

Marius' back stiffened just slightly at the intrusion, then he forced himself to relax.

"Not keen on letting people near me with sharp objects for the foreseeable future," he replied, turning smoothly. The small pulse of shame caused by the brand's exposure was quickly pressed away.

"Topaz, yeah? Been a while. Well," he amended, "other than the bit where I was still tied up, but I prefer not to acknowledge that which happens whilst in restraints. Seems more comfortable for all parties."

"You know what? That's fair."

Topaz felt the small pulse, and kept her eyes on Marius's face as he turned to look at her. "I dunno how much you actually remember from that whole fight, but I wanted to apologize for the part where I impaled you. And also the part where I violated every single mental boundary and shoved a magic bomb into your mind. That's not usually my preferred method of doing things, but desperate times and all."

The older man stared at her as if seeing her for the first time. "That was you?"

There was a sudden cessation from Marius -- of motion, of thought, of feeling. A space, waiting to be filled.

Marius pressed both hands over his face and took a deep breath.

"That was . . . you," he repeated, distantly.

"It was," Topaz said evenly. Maybe she should have thought more about softening that blow, but sometimes being straight forward was the best way to approach things. "For whatever it's worth, I don't tend to commit the things I see to memory. And it's not something I'd do again unless it was an emergency. I know you don't have a great history with empaths."

Marius' resistance to emotional intimacy had begun long before Akkaba. To be a chronic patient was to be without privacy. Every personal detail, every failing bodily function, every moment of weakness and humiliation was witnessed, catalogued, discussed and documented. He'd learned early in his manifestation that the only things he could ever call his own were the thoughts in his own head, and as such it was his fervent wish to convince the world they contained nothing worth exploring. Something about living with a body that could fail and twist without warning incentivized him to cling to what little he could control, and there was much more there that he wanted buried than what Akkaba had made of him.

This woman had seen it all. Not just seen it, but plunged her hands to it and drawn it out, shaping it like Semtex. The knowledge made his stomach churn.

But . . .

Marius made himself sit with that sickness.

And let it go.

The Australian exhaled, releasing his muscles one at a time until his shoulders were square and his spine straight.

"Whatever you did," Marius said, meeting Topaz's eyes, "it saved me. Merci. Merci."

To say Topaz wasn't expecting that level of sincerity was a vast understatement.

Every other emotion hit her first - the horror at how much she had seen, the disgust (not aimed at her, but at himself), the eventual acceptance of what she had done.

And then the sincere gratefulness hit her like a ton of bricks.

All of this passed in a few seconds, and her pause before responding probably wasn't too out of place. Hopefully. "Yeah," she said, some of her composure a little ruffled. "I mean, of course I helped. I'm sorry it came at the expense of your privacy, though."

Marius made a short, slashing motion with one hand. "Look, that's not . . . You were within your rights to do that and worse. I nearly killed a whole city. I don't care about that, truly. Only thing that matters is you helped me."

Despite it all, he didn't say.

Because even after she'd seen what passed for the man buried under Death, she'd done it anyway.

It wasn't like he could easily hide those emotions, either.

Topaz looked him over for a moment, expression unreadable as she tried to decide if she wanted to be kind and leave him in his self-deprecation, or be an arsehole. She chose the latter.

"I'm pretty sure everyone thinks they're not worth saving, or worth the trouble they cause other people. But other people are still going to save you anyway because they think you're worth it for whatever reason, and your opinion on the subject doesn't actually matter. So whatever you think of yourself... you're probably the only one."

It was like having a glass of ice water tossed in his face, which had probably been the desired effect. Topaz appeared to be just as uncomfortable dealing with emotions as Marius was in expressing them. This might have seemed counterintuitive from an empath unless, like Marius, you had actually spoken to one for any length of time.

His chuckle was awkward but genuine. He couldn't fault the direct approach.

"Well. I am the only one who really knows me, eh? And you, too, I suppose." He folded his arms across his scarified chest and turned his amber eyes towards the tiles. "Be that as it may . . . less awkward for us both to pretend that's not so, I think."

"Sure," Topaz agreed easily. "As long as I don't think you're going to try something stupid at any given moment. I have no issues with passing the problem on to someone who cares more about your well being than they do about not having these types of conversations."

"Ah, then you're in luck, because Kyle has already appointed himself my chaperone in such matters. Though if the expulsion of his duties depends upon an assurance my judgement shall henceforth be sound and reasoned we may have a fundamental conflict of expectation." A thought occurred to him. Marius let his arms drop and thick brows knit.

"Why'd you come here, anyway?"

Topaz shrugged. "Like I said - I want to apologize for impaling you, and violating all your mental boundaries. It's a bit rude no matter what the situation calls for."

Marius looked this way and that, as if checking to see whether he'd missed something.

"Propriety? That's all?"

She leaned against the wall behind her now, still looking at Marius even if he wouldn't meet her gaze, and considered her answer for a moment. She knew far too much about what was in his head. It was only fair, she supposed.

"Magic and empathy are... psi powers in general are extremely morally grey just because they're so easy to abuse and use against people. When magic is used the wrong way, it can turn you into a monster. As far as I know, I'm the only person who uses both, together. I'm not self-centered enough to think I'm the only person in the entire world who's combined the two, but it's a lot less common than, say, traditional magic or earth magic or even chaos magic. Sometimes it feels like I'm making up the rules as I go. And if I'm the only one who knows the rules, I'm the only one who can police myself and make sure I don't cross a line. And part of that is making sure I never get too comfortable with the things I have to do, no matter how necessary they are. Stabbing you and invading your privacy to the deepest extent possible was necessary, but it's not something I ever want to repeat. And if I ever reach a point where I don't feel that way... then I know I have a problem."

Emotional acuity had never numbered among Marius' strengths. He had, in fact, often been told it was a borderline deficit. But something in Topaz's tone told him that this was not information she parted with easily, and that realisation was almost startling.

"Don't understand magic," Marius said, a little haltingly, "but lines you don't cross, that you hang onto, white-knuckled, even when the why stops making sense . . . especially when the why stops making sense, because the world is so often senseless . . . that I know." He curled the fingers of one hand, tracing a ring finger around the rima oris of one palm. "That I do know."

"I thought you might." Topaz's tone was just a little softer now, almost unnoticeable. "But that's all I wanted to say. Try not to be too stupid. There are people who would care if something happened to you."

Marius snorted. "Duly noted. And no worries. I'm . . . well. Let's just say this current turn has provided ample motivation to be a bit smarter this time around."