Sam and Sooraya | Hot Chocolate
Jan. 11th, 2024 09:59 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
xp_cannonball posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
xp_logsSooraya finds Sam looking....less than his best and offers some comfort.
The thing about his current situation that sucked the most, Sam decided, was that he both wanted to be attached to Jay’s bedside while also wanting to be absolutely nowhere near it. He’d experienced empty nest syndrome, and as much as he’d missed his siblings, he had been greatly enjoying finally feeling like maybe he was actually twenty six instead of forty-six.
And so he was sitting in the hallway with his laptop trying to see when he and Paige could switch off over the next few days on the ‘Jay’s care plan’ document she had shared with him. He knows he’s looked better- bruising all over his face, hair a mess, and clothes wrinkled- but being seen a mess in public was preferable to stepping into his father’s shoes right now.
"Oh hey Sam... " Sooraya felt silent when she caught a look of his face, her eyes narrowing. Her voice gentled as she crouched down next to him. "... are you okay? I hate to say it, but you look like something the cat dragged in?"
Sam forced a smile and offered a weak response. "Oh, hey Sooraya... you should uh.... see the other guys?"
With his hands stilled over the keyboard of his laptop he couldn't help but wring them anxiously, forced smile turning into a grimace as the movement aggravated the rough redness of his hands. He'd scrubbed them raw trying to get Jay's blood off on the 26th....and every day since. "How're you? Doin' well I hope, aint' seen you in a while."
"It's been pretty busy. Between the holidays and everything else..." Sooraya replied loosely, her eyes drawn to his hands and frowning. "You know... you look like you could use some hot tea... hot chocolate would probably be even better. I've got some good stuff."
"Yeah?" Sam said nervously, eyes flicking to the door of his new room. "I mean....only if it's not for too long. Paige, my sister, is in with Jay, my brother, and I don't want her to get burnt out with him so I should probably switch off with her in bit. Don't want her to be exhausted when classes start up for her soon, y'know?"
Sooraya's eyes flicked to the door, before looking back at Sam. "Half an hour, maybe a little longer? It doesn't take long to make." She offered. "And if she needs you, she has her phone. We'll just keep yours nearby."
Sam bit his lip and stared hard at the door for another moment before sighing. “Yeah…. Yeah, that would be really nice. Thank you, Sooraya. Sorry, I’m a bit of a mess right now.”
"It's okay. Sometimes that happens." Sooraya rose to her feet, holding her hand out to Sam. "Come on."
==========
Tucked in Sooraya’s room, where he couldn’t turn to look anxiously towards Jay, Sam felt somehow both more relaxed and more on edge than he had out in the hallway.
When Sooraya handed him the mug of hot chocolate he tried once again to offer a small smile, more genuine this time. “Thank you.”
"You're welcome." Sooraya replied warmly, taking a seat next to him with a mug of her own. "Is your brother doing okay? From what you said it sounded like you and Paige are taking turns staying with him? That sounds like a lot of work."
Sam thought about lying, but Sooraya had been so kind, and she clearly meant the question, it wasn’t just an attempt at being polite. It would be rude to lie to someone so genuine. He sighed. “Jay ain’t been doin’ okay since before our Daddy died…but his fiancee gettin’ murdered and then bein’ buried under the wrong name by the folks that killt her……he’s the worst I ever seen ‘im.”
Sam sighed again and ran a hand through his hair. “It ain’t no work I ain’t done before, but Paige- I kept her from it so she’d be able to go to college and now she’s got her PhD comin’ up. I’ll find a way to manage it. I always do.”
"I'm so sorry to hear that and I cannot even begin to imagine how much that must hurt for Jay, you and everyone else in your family." Sooraya gently rested a hand on Sam's shoulder. "Has it just been you and Paige taking care of him since you got here? Or even before that?"
“Yeah, I mean, we’re his older siblings. That’s our job.” Sam said with a frown. “Hell, that’s what I’m for.”
Frowning a little, Sooraya chose to tuck that last statement away for a bit instead focusing on the first: "Of course, you're his brother. You want to do everything you can for Jay and you want to protect Paige as well." She gently pointed out. "But you look exhausted, Sam. When was the last time you were able to sleep okay?"
“December twenty-second.” Sam said with no hesitation, then much more hesitantly. “....is it really that bad?”
"Little bit, yeah... the bags under your eyes kinda have bags themselves." Sooraya hesitated a moment before adding: "Sam, I know you said it's your job to care of Jay as his older brother, but is there any I can help... that we can help? Because it sounds like a lot to be doing with the two of you."
“I don’t know if Jay will talk to anyone, he certainly ain’t talkin’ to me. He’s bout half ate-up just from knowin’ that I’m establishin’ a boundary with our Ma and not just askin’ how high when she says jump. He responds better to Paige, always has, but….he’s real mad about bein’ here.... I don’t know Sooraya.” Sam sighed, fingers tapping against the sides of the mug.
"He wanted to stay back home with the rest of your family?" Sooraya sipped her chocolate, pondering. "Is there any chance your brother would be okay with someone joining you or even spelling you for a bit? Though a stranger when you are feeling bad can be a really difficult thing."
“Mama cast ‘im out.” Sam said slowly. “She did what she does best when the goin’ gets rough and said it was my job. And that Jay was moving in with me no ifs, ands, or buts….I’d been plannin’ for it since he went to the hospital but Jay….he’s always thought better of Mama than she’d earned…he really believed she was gonna take care of him….”
Mama Guthrie was... well... Sooraya wasn't quite sure which words she should use here... "From where I'm sitting that sounds very harsh. And very unfair towards you." She finally tried to be as tactful as possible, though she'd have prefered using other words.
“Life ain’t been fair to me.” Sam said with a shrug. “Why would Mama be?”
"Maybe because she is your mom?" Sooraya ventured hesitantly, before wincing internally and deciding to refocus. "But it's not really my place to say much about it. I... just... is there anything I can do to make this easier for you, Sam? Outside of offering hot chocolate?"
Sam shrugged. He didn’t know. God- he didn’t know how to handle this at all let alone what might help. Maybe he wasn’t cut out to be a big brother? Maybe his siblings were right and goin North had changed him. He took a sip of the hot chocolate to try to ground himself. “It’s very good, thank you Sooraya….you’re a good friend………I- it might be a good idea for me to talk to someone? If you know anyone?”
That would make Paige happy.
"I think that would be a very good idea, for you to talk to someone. I'll have a look for you okay?" Sooraya made a quick mental note. "Have you and your brother been eating okay? I can make sure you get some things tonight and otherwise tomorrow."
“Yeah, Alani stocked us up with food.” He replied softly. “……I might run out soon and get some ingredients for his favorite dinner Mama used to make…see if that won’t help.”
"If you can't get away, I'd be happy to get them for you. Or Alanni." Sooraya felt safe offering that. "Just send us the list."
“Thank you.” Sam said earnestly. “I really appreciate it. And I’m sure Jay will too once he’s more hisself again.”
"You're welcome." Sooraya simply. Rising from the couch, she headed over to the kitchenette and pulled down a couple of things. "This is what I use to make my hot chocolate. I'll app you the recipe. Maybe it will help your brother just a bit." She gathered everything into a small bag she had nearby.
“You don’t hafta-” Sam started, before stopping himself. Sooraya was an adult and his friend, if she wanted to be nice to him he oughta let her do it. “Thank you. Just…thank you.”
"You're welcome." Sooraya simply repeated, setting down the bag in front of him and retaking her seat.
“I…prolly oughta go once I finish my mug.” He said softly, managing a real but small smile in her direction. “I also promise to try to take a nap.”
"Of course. And the nap is good idea." Gently Sooraya rested a hand on his shoulder again "That will do you some good. Just promise you'll keep in mind that you have people here to help if you need them?"
“I’m tryin’.” Sam said gently. “‘S just gettin’ used to the idea that’s rough. I really appreciate you Sooraya.”
“I’m tryin’.” Sam said gently. “‘S just gettin’ used to the idea that’s rough. I really appreciate you Sooraya.”
"Thanks Sam. Want me to walk with you? I need to head to the kitchen anyway."
The thing about his current situation that sucked the most, Sam decided, was that he both wanted to be attached to Jay’s bedside while also wanting to be absolutely nowhere near it. He’d experienced empty nest syndrome, and as much as he’d missed his siblings, he had been greatly enjoying finally feeling like maybe he was actually twenty six instead of forty-six.
And so he was sitting in the hallway with his laptop trying to see when he and Paige could switch off over the next few days on the ‘Jay’s care plan’ document she had shared with him. He knows he’s looked better- bruising all over his face, hair a mess, and clothes wrinkled- but being seen a mess in public was preferable to stepping into his father’s shoes right now.
"Oh hey Sam... " Sooraya felt silent when she caught a look of his face, her eyes narrowing. Her voice gentled as she crouched down next to him. "... are you okay? I hate to say it, but you look like something the cat dragged in?"
Sam forced a smile and offered a weak response. "Oh, hey Sooraya... you should uh.... see the other guys?"
With his hands stilled over the keyboard of his laptop he couldn't help but wring them anxiously, forced smile turning into a grimace as the movement aggravated the rough redness of his hands. He'd scrubbed them raw trying to get Jay's blood off on the 26th....and every day since. "How're you? Doin' well I hope, aint' seen you in a while."
"It's been pretty busy. Between the holidays and everything else..." Sooraya replied loosely, her eyes drawn to his hands and frowning. "You know... you look like you could use some hot tea... hot chocolate would probably be even better. I've got some good stuff."
"Yeah?" Sam said nervously, eyes flicking to the door of his new room. "I mean....only if it's not for too long. Paige, my sister, is in with Jay, my brother, and I don't want her to get burnt out with him so I should probably switch off with her in bit. Don't want her to be exhausted when classes start up for her soon, y'know?"
Sooraya's eyes flicked to the door, before looking back at Sam. "Half an hour, maybe a little longer? It doesn't take long to make." She offered. "And if she needs you, she has her phone. We'll just keep yours nearby."
Sam bit his lip and stared hard at the door for another moment before sighing. “Yeah…. Yeah, that would be really nice. Thank you, Sooraya. Sorry, I’m a bit of a mess right now.”
"It's okay. Sometimes that happens." Sooraya rose to her feet, holding her hand out to Sam. "Come on."
==========
Tucked in Sooraya’s room, where he couldn’t turn to look anxiously towards Jay, Sam felt somehow both more relaxed and more on edge than he had out in the hallway.
When Sooraya handed him the mug of hot chocolate he tried once again to offer a small smile, more genuine this time. “Thank you.”
"You're welcome." Sooraya replied warmly, taking a seat next to him with a mug of her own. "Is your brother doing okay? From what you said it sounded like you and Paige are taking turns staying with him? That sounds like a lot of work."
Sam thought about lying, but Sooraya had been so kind, and she clearly meant the question, it wasn’t just an attempt at being polite. It would be rude to lie to someone so genuine. He sighed. “Jay ain’t been doin’ okay since before our Daddy died…but his fiancee gettin’ murdered and then bein’ buried under the wrong name by the folks that killt her……he’s the worst I ever seen ‘im.”
Sam sighed again and ran a hand through his hair. “It ain’t no work I ain’t done before, but Paige- I kept her from it so she’d be able to go to college and now she’s got her PhD comin’ up. I’ll find a way to manage it. I always do.”
"I'm so sorry to hear that and I cannot even begin to imagine how much that must hurt for Jay, you and everyone else in your family." Sooraya gently rested a hand on Sam's shoulder. "Has it just been you and Paige taking care of him since you got here? Or even before that?"
“Yeah, I mean, we’re his older siblings. That’s our job.” Sam said with a frown. “Hell, that’s what I’m for.”
Frowning a little, Sooraya chose to tuck that last statement away for a bit instead focusing on the first: "Of course, you're his brother. You want to do everything you can for Jay and you want to protect Paige as well." She gently pointed out. "But you look exhausted, Sam. When was the last time you were able to sleep okay?"
“December twenty-second.” Sam said with no hesitation, then much more hesitantly. “....is it really that bad?”
"Little bit, yeah... the bags under your eyes kinda have bags themselves." Sooraya hesitated a moment before adding: "Sam, I know you said it's your job to care of Jay as his older brother, but is there any I can help... that we can help? Because it sounds like a lot to be doing with the two of you."
“I don’t know if Jay will talk to anyone, he certainly ain’t talkin’ to me. He’s bout half ate-up just from knowin’ that I’m establishin’ a boundary with our Ma and not just askin’ how high when she says jump. He responds better to Paige, always has, but….he’s real mad about bein’ here.... I don’t know Sooraya.” Sam sighed, fingers tapping against the sides of the mug.
"He wanted to stay back home with the rest of your family?" Sooraya sipped her chocolate, pondering. "Is there any chance your brother would be okay with someone joining you or even spelling you for a bit? Though a stranger when you are feeling bad can be a really difficult thing."
“Mama cast ‘im out.” Sam said slowly. “She did what she does best when the goin’ gets rough and said it was my job. And that Jay was moving in with me no ifs, ands, or buts….I’d been plannin’ for it since he went to the hospital but Jay….he’s always thought better of Mama than she’d earned…he really believed she was gonna take care of him….”
Mama Guthrie was... well... Sooraya wasn't quite sure which words she should use here... "From where I'm sitting that sounds very harsh. And very unfair towards you." She finally tried to be as tactful as possible, though she'd have prefered using other words.
“Life ain’t been fair to me.” Sam said with a shrug. “Why would Mama be?”
"Maybe because she is your mom?" Sooraya ventured hesitantly, before wincing internally and deciding to refocus. "But it's not really my place to say much about it. I... just... is there anything I can do to make this easier for you, Sam? Outside of offering hot chocolate?"
Sam shrugged. He didn’t know. God- he didn’t know how to handle this at all let alone what might help. Maybe he wasn’t cut out to be a big brother? Maybe his siblings were right and goin North had changed him. He took a sip of the hot chocolate to try to ground himself. “It’s very good, thank you Sooraya….you’re a good friend………I- it might be a good idea for me to talk to someone? If you know anyone?”
That would make Paige happy.
"I think that would be a very good idea, for you to talk to someone. I'll have a look for you okay?" Sooraya made a quick mental note. "Have you and your brother been eating okay? I can make sure you get some things tonight and otherwise tomorrow."
“Yeah, Alani stocked us up with food.” He replied softly. “……I might run out soon and get some ingredients for his favorite dinner Mama used to make…see if that won’t help.”
"If you can't get away, I'd be happy to get them for you. Or Alanni." Sooraya felt safe offering that. "Just send us the list."
“Thank you.” Sam said earnestly. “I really appreciate it. And I’m sure Jay will too once he’s more hisself again.”
"You're welcome." Sooraya simply. Rising from the couch, she headed over to the kitchenette and pulled down a couple of things. "This is what I use to make my hot chocolate. I'll app you the recipe. Maybe it will help your brother just a bit." She gathered everything into a small bag she had nearby.
“You don’t hafta-” Sam started, before stopping himself. Sooraya was an adult and his friend, if she wanted to be nice to him he oughta let her do it. “Thank you. Just…thank you.”
"You're welcome." Sooraya simply repeated, setting down the bag in front of him and retaking her seat.
“I…prolly oughta go once I finish my mug.” He said softly, managing a real but small smile in her direction. “I also promise to try to take a nap.”
"Of course. And the nap is good idea." Gently Sooraya rested a hand on his shoulder again "That will do you some good. Just promise you'll keep in mind that you have people here to help if you need them?"
“I’m tryin’.” Sam said gently. “‘S just gettin’ used to the idea that’s rough. I really appreciate you Sooraya.”
“I’m tryin’.” Sam said gently. “‘S just gettin’ used to the idea that’s rough. I really appreciate you Sooraya.”
"Thanks Sam. Want me to walk with you? I need to head to the kitchen anyway."
