xp_logs | Warren & Illyana

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(backdated) Warren and Illyana clear their schedule for a very important meeting: spa day.

Illyana wiggled her toes once the protectors were removed, pleased at the bright punch of pink-orange shimmer decorating them and the softness of the plush white sandals that left her toes free for viewing. "This was good idea Warren, thank you." She gave her boss a wide, sincere smile, making her look years younger than her normal stern work facade. "Maybe I will tell Jones he can have paid spa day if he does not exceed annoyance level this quarter. Less pesky phone calls, more doing job? We can hope."

"Yana, please -- let's not ruin this by mentioning Jones. I really only keep him because every organization needs a figurative whipping boy." Warren exhaled lazily, enjoying the smoke rings.

This was an elite spa that catered to everything as long as you had money. Their suite was ultra private and whatever they wanted was theirs. A private pool, hot tub, and deck was expected after all at this level of wealth

He wiggled his toes, also pleased with the softness. "Nothing like a pedicure and losing 10 lbs of dead skin to really rejuvenate one's self." He took another long drag of his vape. "Hey, do you want a toke? I don't even know if you indulge."

"Am told some people will pay to be literal whipping boy. Would not be strangest thing you have paid for at work." She hummed with amusement at the thought. "I do not know what toke is. Is that the drugs? School made watch us dumb videos about how the drugs are bad, had that Captain America guy shaking his finger at camera like we were naughty children." Illyana thought about it for a moment. "I will try. Just inhale like cigarette?"

Warren nodded. "But you hold it. And then exhale. And just relax." He handed it over. "Those videos are actually a public health failure. Having a total abstinence frame of mind never works. You have to teach kids to think for themselves, and decide do I want the drugs or not? And yes, you should because they're fun." Warren grinned, smirking widely at the same time. He was joking around, he knew that it was a bad move to get anyone thinking he was into drugs again.

"Do this one drug because it is fun." Illyana gave him a dubious look, but followed directions... well. She tried, at least. The first inhale provoked a round of coughing, and she gave the vape a glare that might've set lesser things on fire. Once her breathing was back under control, she tried again. A deep breath, holding for a few seconds, and then a slow breath out like she was counting to 10 before starting to yell. "Am not sure how I feel about this, ask again in ten minutes." She handed the vape back and followed the last bit of instruction, sinking into her lounge chair. "May not know for sure. Could be drug, could be spa is good for relaxing. Maybe try again when work is stress."

"Work isn't stressful? I'll have to fix that." Warren took back his vape, and leaned back, relaxed. His wings were out, stretched and loose by his sides. "Although speaking of work ... you think that baby bird I rescued will do well? What's his name again? It's a letter...Kaye? X? Abcde?" He knew it was Jay. He just thought he was being funny. He might be more high than he thought. "I think he'd do well on the Cares side than the work side. I don't know that he has the beautiful ruthfulness that you have, my darling."

"Extra stress, not normal stress." She reached out a hand, giving in to the oft-resisted urge to stroke the edge of Warren's feathers. "You keep them in such nice condition, it is good to see. Jay will be fine once he learns basics, who is and is not good for pissing off, how to filter out sad stories to support effective causes. There is stern thing inside him, good backbone to draw out, I think. Meanwhile, I will be changing out numbers on expense accounts. Kevin Sydney is being annoying and obnoxious about spending money on work accounts and I dislike this."

There were a few people that he didn't mind touching his wings -- Bobbi, Jubilee, Miles, and now Illyana. She could touch whenever she wanted. "Jay will figure it out and find his position. This might not a forever thing for him but he could be useful and that's what I want. And in terms of expense accounts and Kevin Sydney..." Warren trailed off with a groan. That man was such a headache because no matter what, he won. Warren tried constantly to best him, be it with words or actions, and every single time, Kevin was three steps ahead of him. It was rare that Warren was so completely wiped by someone. He hated it. "As long as he does that, we know where he is, what his likes and dislikes are, and honestly, compile it and sell it to the highest bidder. I know he is not a creature of routine but any pattern..."

"Maybe I will mail him annoying things anonymously. Like this," Illyana had been scrolling idly through her phone and tilted it towards Warren. "Valentine card with fart spray. Childish, annoying. Much like demanding young woman play games because he is bored and petty." She wrinkled her nose. "I am also petty, but am not playing game with man older than own parents. Gross."

"If we're being petty, just send him anonymous dicks." Warren also pulled out his phone and sent Illyana a text with a link. "We can send him gummy dicks."

"Then he will have snack," she mused, swiping through the website. "There is dick confetti and glitter. This is what I will do." She grinned over at Warren. "I will send you giant chocolate dick next time you are annoying and deliver it in middle of board meeting. Will also take pictures."

"And this is how I know you get me," he said, wrinkling his nose in approval. "I'm glad I hired you, Yana. You've been a very good asset, an amazing employee and -- dare I say it -- friend. Bobbi adores you too. You're well worth what I pay you and more. Why haven't you asked for a raise yet?"

"You are surprisingly good boss under silly oblivious exterior. And good friend. Bobbi is good counter for you." A rare compliment, followed by "Demons do not use money, it is simply sitting in bank and growing bigger. I do not have need of more, but if you want to give raise I will find way to use it. Maybe more stompy boot? Is fun to watch people stare in combination of fear and wanting sex. Magic texts. Maybe business class or two, learn more to be effective at leading and giving the terror. Watching you in board room is good for that. Like big fish deep in water lurking for prey. CHOMP."

Warren laughed loudly. "Chomp!!! Big fish in ....big pond. But bigger than the rest. Or something." He took another puff and laughed some more. "I also had no idea you weren't spending my money. That's hilarious. Is there something I can give you that has more meaning than that? I mean, money is pointless anyways. Social construct, blah blah blah. Not that I care. I like having it but if you want the education, I can definitely pull some strings, get you into some business school, whatever you want." He quirked a brow. "Careful, you're gunning for COO role here. You'll be working yourself into a pretty powerful role, your highness."

Warren's laugh was infectious, and Illyana found herself letting out an uncharacteristic giggle in return. "I will think on school, other ways to use money. Having job that suits, room to learn and grow is plenty of meaning. Next maybe I will learn driving, get small car and go fast." She made grabby hands at his vape, and took a slow inhale before passing it back and breathing out. "Will have to do spa more often. Monthly meeting maybe, very important, only reschedule for dumb mansion shit like end of world. Bring Bobbi sometimes. Jay too."

"Can you imagine Jay high?" Warren almost choked laughing. "That'd be hilarious, but yes -- schedule this for next month. We can call it team-building. Mandatory. He came come and sulk that I hired him."