xp_logs | Sooraya, Jess and Warren: the pasta tales

xp_dust posting in

Sooraya continues to teach Jess to cook. Unfortunately they get interrupted by Warren... who ends up regretting this.

"Now, watch your fingers. Unless you want to add some extra meat to the pasta sauce." Sooraya watched critically as Jess hefted the knife and eyed the onions in front of her. An aromatic red sauce was bubbling next to them on the stove, each bubble releasing a little cloud of fragrant steam.

"Comforting," Jess muttered, surveying the cutting board. Uncertainly, she took an onion and sliced it in half, the way Sooraya had shown her, and then turned the halves to cut them lengthwise. It wasn't exactly expert knifework, but it was better than what she'd managed with the cucumber a month or so prior. Finally, she turned the onions again to cut across, producing a diced onion. The pieces were definitely not uniform, and some had escaped the knife despite her best intentions, but they were diced. "Okay?"

"You're off to a good start." Sooraya nodded. "Now you have another one to go, while I'll clean the bell peppers and the tomatoes. You can practice cutting after the onions." She gathered another cutting board and the vegetables. "Your eyes are not tearing up too much?"

"It's fine," Jessica said, though whether she would have said anything different if it wasn't was up for debate. Her eyes were a little bright, but they weren't streaming with tears, anyway. She set on the next onion, her movements still unsure. She cast an uncertain look at Sooraya. "So, uh, why are we cooking?" The clear question being, Why am I cooking?

"Because a person can't survive on takeout, ramen or Cup A Soup for long. Or liters of your poison of choice. You need something with actual vitamins and minerals." Sooraya stated dryly. "So I am gonna teach you three or four recipes that are nearly impossible to screw up and you can eat better."

"I've managed this long," Jessica protested, but she wasn't an idiot - she knew a losing battle when she was losing it. "I never needed to cook. That's what bodegas are for," she grumbled, moving on to the bell peppers that Sooraya had prepared.

"I think we can both agree that didn't work out particularly well. Foodwise at least." Eying Jess' chopping skills, Sooraya took up her own knife and quickly started dicing the tomatoes. Those could be slippery bastards sometimes. "So, do you like things mild or spicy?"

"It works fine," Jess said defensively. She wasn't dead, was she? She sighed, focusing on the bell peppers. "I guess more mild than spicy. I'm not picky or anything, though."

"Uh huh." Sooraya raised an eyebrow. "We'll start with a hint of spice then. Mostly Italian herbs. Stuff like organo, basil... some thyme..." Sooraya gestured over to the window sill where several green plants grew. "We even have them growing outside fresh. We'll harvest some of them in a moment."

"Don't those normally come dried? In bags or something?" Jessica looked dubious.

"Sure, but this is far tastier. And since we have them around, why not." Sooraya grinned. "Next time I'll show you the boring dried stuff. Now, how are you doing with those bell peppers?"

"Uh . . . " Jess motioned at the chopped peppers, brows drawing together. They weren't terrible, but . . . "They're, um, in smaller pieces?"

"Hmm..." Sooraya surveyed them critically. "Good enough for now. You'll get better with practice. Now, let's go find these herbs. Just let me grab those scissors." Grabbing the scissors, she guided Jess over the plants and snipped a bit of oregano. "Now, rub it between two finger tips."

What was this, some kind of weird ritual? Jess did as she was told, skeptically. "It smells . . . good," she said, cautiously, not sure if that was the correct response.

"Good." Sooraya surveyed the plants again and snipped off another bit from a different plant. "How about this one? " She offered a bit of thyme.

A subjective fifteen hours later, there were two cooled plastic containers of pasta sauce on the counter, and Jessica, with a smear of pasta sauce on her cheek, looked exhausted. "You do all that every time you need to eat?" she asked, trying not to sound pathetic.

"Well, we usually skip the pasta stuck to the bottom of the pan." Sooraya explained with a straight face. "And one of those containers can go into the freezer. So next time you don't have to do this again... But you have to admit, does it taste better than Kraft Macaroni?"

"Please don't mention Kraft macaroni," Warren responded, entering the kitchen. Hey, the man was hungry (again) and it smelled good -- he just followed his nose right to the amazing smells and wouldn't you know it? Jessica and someone else who he barely knew. "Bobbi thinks that's comfort food and I occasionally have to eat it. I don't know why Canadians like it so much but honestly, it's a war crime and should be stopped. How hard is it to make macaroni and cheese from scratch? Or order it in like a normal person?" He shuddered and sat down lazily on one of the kitchen chairs, his arm draped around the back of the chair. "So, what'd you guys make me?"

Jessica's jaw worked as she swallowed her first response to Warren, her flat look foretelling a cursing out he would probably not even register; but telling someone to fuck off in front of Sooraya felt a little wrong. Instead, she slid her look to Sooraya. "This one's on you," she said, turning to put the last of the dishes in the dishwasher.

"I'm afraid you'll have to make your own, Mr. Worthington. Jess and I have other stuff to do." Sooraya kept it simple, speeding up her scrubbing of the pasta pot a little. She had no desire to be confronted with his speculations again. "Is it full, Jess?"

Keeping a suspicious eye on Warren, Jessica lifted her shoulder, a little ambivalent. "I think there's room? Here." She stepped out of the way, finally unable to keep her attention off their visitor. "You can leave," she said.

"I can, but I won't," Warren responded cheerfully. He went over to the stove and looked at the containers. "Spaghetti sauce? You know you can buy this in a jar and it taste relatively the same? And I say this as a foodie. Somethings aren't really worth all this effort. Like angel food cake. Cake mix is just as good."

"There is cake mix in the cupboard over there and spaghetti sauce in the cupboard next to it. Feel free to go ahead and make some for yourself." Sooraya stated dryly as she rinsed the pan and put it on the drying rack. Turning to Jessica, she went on: "Just leave the machine be for now then. Someone will turn it on later. The sauce for the freezer will have to cool down first, but let's take the other one to your room."

"Cool." Jessica picked up the warm container, shooting a narrow-eyed look at Warren. "Why don't you go harass your best friend Haller?" she suggested, maybe a little snidely.

"I mean, I could, but why when I have you to stare at? How's the memory problems anyways?" He tilted his head at her. "Do you remember me yet? Because if no, I'm more than happy to jog your memory you know... here, there, on the ceiling.....I'm pretty easy going that way you know." He glanced at Sooraya. "I also barely know you, but you're into harem stuff right? You could watch if you want ... or join in. But I'd have to ask Bobbi first. Relationships, y'know."

Jessica was pissed off often, irritated or annoyed almost always, but it wasn't often that something tweaked her enough to get her really angry. Maybe it was the frustration of learning something new that put her over the edge, or maybe it was the smug look in Warren's stupid fucking face, referring to an incident she did not and would not recognize. Maybe it was even that he brought Sooraya into it, when Jessica's impression of Sooraya was that she was too pure for the world and certainly for Warren fucking Worthington.

These were the excuses she was going to use if anyone dared to ask her why, instead of simply leaving the room, she took three steps toward Warren in a red haze and dumped the contents of her unfortunately-cooled spaghetti sauce on his head, then crushed the plastic container in her hands and threw it at his face.

He was drenched. In tomatoes. Red was a sin against white and oh dear god, his wings! No, he would not get mad.

Inner peace?

"This makes me almost dislike you." is what he wanted to say.

Instead he glared and huffed and sputtered and swore and huffed and wrung his hands. Reaching for a kitchen towel, he proceeded to wipe his face and arms.

"Jesus fucking christ, what is wrong with you? If I am stained in any way, I will have my lawyers come after you! And ...there's not enough basil in this sauce! I hope it tastes acidic! Fucking useless...."

He muttered some more and threw the towel dramatically on the table before stomping out of the kitchen.

Jessica paused with the container in her hands. She glanced at Sooraya, wrath appeased. "Sorry," she said, not sorry in the least. "Sometimes I just really want that asshole to shut up."

Watching the red sauce cover his hair, pieces of onions and bell pepper sliding down his face and a piece of ground beef hanging from his ear as Warren almost stormed away... Sooraya couldn't stop herself from grinning. "Well, looks like he got what he deserved."

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

xp_magik

Illyana, somewhere, Warren senses tingling: Warren NO

It's nice to see him get a little bit of deserved comeuppance for bad behavior, and also to see Sooraya and Jessica working together in a friendly way.

From:

xp_artie

And ...there's not enough basil in this sauce! I hope it tastes acidic!

Ahahahah

From:

xp_catseye

"So I am gonna teach you three or four recipes that are nearly impossible to screw up and you can eat better."

This sounds like a challenge.

"Do you remember me yet? Because if no, I'm more than happy to jog your memory you know... here, there, on the ceiling.....I'm pretty easy going that way you know."

Okay, Warren has a deathwish, confirmed.

Jessica's impression of Sooraya was that she was too pure for the world and certainly for Warren fucking Worthington.

And she is correct.

It was nice to see Sooraya herself snark a bit at him, too. Warren should be proud -- he has somehow managed to be one of the few creatures on this earth not to achieve Sooraya's empathy, haha