Bouts - Jay and Mel
Mar. 22nd, 2024 11:52 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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xp_logsJay and Mel both think they're taking care of the other.
Mel had managed to drift off sometime when the sky had been starting to lighten, and she woke up as the first rays of the sun came through Jay’s window.
It seemed she’d squirmed out of Jay’s hold during those few hours. Sighing, Mel sat up softly and looked at her brother. She reached over and gently brushed some hair out of his face, careful not to jostle his wings.
Jay was caught in the same dream again where he woke up only to discover he was still asleep. Most of the time in the dream He woke next to Julia, but was aware he had to really wake up this time, but every time he was caught in the same cycle of waking in another dream, or feeling so heavy he couldn't even wake in his dream. He twitched under Mel's hand, eyes fluttering half open but unseeing.
“Jay?” Mel paused, and then she realized what was happening. Jay’d had this a few times before when she slept in his room. “Oh Jay, it’s okay. Yer okay.” She put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed lightly.
Jay finally, finally was able to wrench himself truly awake and sat up with a large breathe, wings shuddering before he remembered Mel was there.
He hadn't wanted her to see that- it was a symptom of what they all called his bouts and he hadn't wanted her to know about them- wanted her to think he was doin' alright, especially with her own sleep walkin'.
What a pair they were huh?
"Jeez Mel..."
She looked at him with an infinite sort of sadness, a small smile on her face. “It’s okay, Jay.” She smoothed some hair away from his eyes. “You’ll be okay.”
Jay took another few breaths to get rid of the suffocating feeling. "I'm just fine, you don't gotta worry," he lied easily.
Mel shook her head. “I oughta known last night, was too wrapped up- you’ll take the day off work, yeah? For me?”
If Mel was asking him to spend time with her, she must be in worse shape than he thought. Probably all homesick and missing the kids and the mountains and her friends and- and Jay could work from home this one time. He hadn't missed a day yet. And he was tired of being gawked at and having rude things said where people thought the couldn't hear about his accent or his wings. (If people were going to be bigoted, why not just come out with it?). He could use a break from feeling like he was trying to play at something he'd never be.
"Alright. Since you ain't feeling yerself."
“Thank you.” If this was how they were going to play it, Mel could do that. She squeezed his shoulder again. “Stay here? I’ll be right back.. Jus’ need t’a grab somethin’.”
Jay squeezed her back. "You do whatever you need," he said, setting about to text the office that he'd be working from home and to make up his bed.
Mel went off to her suite and her closet, dragging out the box that had been tucked in the corner since her first night. Carefully, she pulled out the quilt, taking off the sheet and brushing away invisible dust. It smelled like home, like Mama. She took a moment and breathed it in.
Clutching it to her chest, eyes wet, Mel walked back to Jay’s room. Anything that might make him feel better. She knocked on the doorframe softly. “Hey, mind if I sleep a bit? I’m still a mite tired.”
"Yeah, of course..." Jay trailed off when he saw what was in Mel's arms. The pinwheel patterned quilt with the slightly stained yellow, blue, and white fabric was a staple of his early childhood. Some of his haziest memories had Mama piecing it while he, Sam, and Paige listened to Daddy play the guitar. Mel might be too young to remember- hell he barely did.
"Mama gave you that quilt?"
Mel shifted. “Mhm, she packed it when I- um.. left.” And she thought it‘d been packed for Jay. There was still a chance it had been and the note had been lost.
"You were real little when she made that," Jay said, taking it in his hands and giving it a quick sniff. It smelled like Mama, and ceder, and home. He wrapped it around Mel, draping it over her shoulders. "Probably two or so, before Lizzie was born."
“Yeah?” She asked, eyes still wet, trying to imagine. The four of them an’ Mama would be there, and Daddy. All safe and at home. Mel brushed against Jay, not quite leaning.
"I think Mama made it for yer ceder chest," he said quietly. He leaned his weight against her though, taking her in his arms. Jay was tired, just so bone tired of trying to put fly himself and his own thoughts. And now seeing Mel in her quilt he felt like he couldn't keep running.
“Oh.” Mel held him fast, to let him know that she was there, that any weight he couldn’t carry, she would. That he didn’t have to pretend, that she understood.
"I miss home," he admitted. "The kids, Mama, my mountains..." He shook his head. "You're more made for being up here than I am. Maybe you can convince Warren that you're the one who deserves my job."
“I ain’t, m’jus better at hidin’ it.” Mel mumbled softly. She rubbed his back like Sam would. “An’ I do have a job now.. ‘sides, he knows I ain’t suited.”
Jay took Mel into his arms and kissed her temple. "We're some pair, huh?" He asked, trying to smile for her.
“Always have been,” she said, though it had too much emotion to be lighthearted. Mel was so tired of feeling so lonely. Missing home, her friends, her siblings, her town, her brother, the way things used to be.
He led her to the couch, ready to take advantage of just spending some silent time with his sister. Of pretending for a second that everything was how it was once.
As soon as they sat down Mel curled up against him, wrapping one side of the quilt around his shoulder so they could both use it.
It was a testament to how she was that she didn’t feel like talking. Before during Jay’s bouts she would sit with him and talk for ages just to fill the silence, to let him know she was there. Now she let the silence sit with them.
Mel had managed to drift off sometime when the sky had been starting to lighten, and she woke up as the first rays of the sun came through Jay’s window.
It seemed she’d squirmed out of Jay’s hold during those few hours. Sighing, Mel sat up softly and looked at her brother. She reached over and gently brushed some hair out of his face, careful not to jostle his wings.
Jay was caught in the same dream again where he woke up only to discover he was still asleep. Most of the time in the dream He woke next to Julia, but was aware he had to really wake up this time, but every time he was caught in the same cycle of waking in another dream, or feeling so heavy he couldn't even wake in his dream. He twitched under Mel's hand, eyes fluttering half open but unseeing.
“Jay?” Mel paused, and then she realized what was happening. Jay’d had this a few times before when she slept in his room. “Oh Jay, it’s okay. Yer okay.” She put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed lightly.
Jay finally, finally was able to wrench himself truly awake and sat up with a large breathe, wings shuddering before he remembered Mel was there.
He hadn't wanted her to see that- it was a symptom of what they all called his bouts and he hadn't wanted her to know about them- wanted her to think he was doin' alright, especially with her own sleep walkin'.
What a pair they were huh?
"Jeez Mel..."
She looked at him with an infinite sort of sadness, a small smile on her face. “It’s okay, Jay.” She smoothed some hair away from his eyes. “You’ll be okay.”
Jay took another few breaths to get rid of the suffocating feeling. "I'm just fine, you don't gotta worry," he lied easily.
Mel shook her head. “I oughta known last night, was too wrapped up- you’ll take the day off work, yeah? For me?”
If Mel was asking him to spend time with her, she must be in worse shape than he thought. Probably all homesick and missing the kids and the mountains and her friends and- and Jay could work from home this one time. He hadn't missed a day yet. And he was tired of being gawked at and having rude things said where people thought the couldn't hear about his accent or his wings. (If people were going to be bigoted, why not just come out with it?). He could use a break from feeling like he was trying to play at something he'd never be.
"Alright. Since you ain't feeling yerself."
“Thank you.” If this was how they were going to play it, Mel could do that. She squeezed his shoulder again. “Stay here? I’ll be right back.. Jus’ need t’a grab somethin’.”
Jay squeezed her back. "You do whatever you need," he said, setting about to text the office that he'd be working from home and to make up his bed.
Mel went off to her suite and her closet, dragging out the box that had been tucked in the corner since her first night. Carefully, she pulled out the quilt, taking off the sheet and brushing away invisible dust. It smelled like home, like Mama. She took a moment and breathed it in.
Clutching it to her chest, eyes wet, Mel walked back to Jay’s room. Anything that might make him feel better. She knocked on the doorframe softly. “Hey, mind if I sleep a bit? I’m still a mite tired.”
"Yeah, of course..." Jay trailed off when he saw what was in Mel's arms. The pinwheel patterned quilt with the slightly stained yellow, blue, and white fabric was a staple of his early childhood. Some of his haziest memories had Mama piecing it while he, Sam, and Paige listened to Daddy play the guitar. Mel might be too young to remember- hell he barely did.
"Mama gave you that quilt?"
Mel shifted. “Mhm, she packed it when I- um.. left.” And she thought it‘d been packed for Jay. There was still a chance it had been and the note had been lost.
"You were real little when she made that," Jay said, taking it in his hands and giving it a quick sniff. It smelled like Mama, and ceder, and home. He wrapped it around Mel, draping it over her shoulders. "Probably two or so, before Lizzie was born."
“Yeah?” She asked, eyes still wet, trying to imagine. The four of them an’ Mama would be there, and Daddy. All safe and at home. Mel brushed against Jay, not quite leaning.
"I think Mama made it for yer ceder chest," he said quietly. He leaned his weight against her though, taking her in his arms. Jay was tired, just so bone tired of trying to put fly himself and his own thoughts. And now seeing Mel in her quilt he felt like he couldn't keep running.
“Oh.” Mel held him fast, to let him know that she was there, that any weight he couldn’t carry, she would. That he didn’t have to pretend, that she understood.
"I miss home," he admitted. "The kids, Mama, my mountains..." He shook his head. "You're more made for being up here than I am. Maybe you can convince Warren that you're the one who deserves my job."
“I ain’t, m’jus better at hidin’ it.” Mel mumbled softly. She rubbed his back like Sam would. “An’ I do have a job now.. ‘sides, he knows I ain’t suited.”
Jay took Mel into his arms and kissed her temple. "We're some pair, huh?" He asked, trying to smile for her.
“Always have been,” she said, though it had too much emotion to be lighthearted. Mel was so tired of feeling so lonely. Missing home, her friends, her siblings, her town, her brother, the way things used to be.
He led her to the couch, ready to take advantage of just spending some silent time with his sister. Of pretending for a second that everything was how it was once.
As soon as they sat down Mel curled up against him, wrapping one side of the quilt around his shoulder so they could both use it.
It was a testament to how she was that she didn’t feel like talking. Before during Jay’s bouts she would sit with him and talk for ages just to fill the silence, to let him know she was there. Now she let the silence sit with them.
