Moira and Nathan, Monday afternoon

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Moira wrestles with a whole host of demons. Nathan tries to help. They both agree they need a vacation.



Madelyn and Hank had been quite reasonable, in the end. Nathan murmured soothing nothings down the link, but Moira still shivered every so often in her sleep, clinging to him almost fiercely, and the link was still roiling, totally unsettled. He raised his good hand and stroked her hair, shutting out every bit of his own worry and anger, concentrating on projecting nothing but steadfast calm, absolute love.

Moira wasn't having a nightmare so much as a bunch of rolled up, nasty memories. She whimpered as the memory of her first patient death hit her again. A young girl, brown hair, dead on the operation table. She'd been calm, collected as Rory puked outside, as she noted time of death and placed the sheet over the girl's head. Later, she'd cry. Then the attack on Pete earlier. The rifle in her hand kicking back twice as she fired, the screams of the man she'd taken down heightening as he fell. Finding him where they'd put the bodies, seeing that Cain had finished the job for her.

And then the last, this time. The acid, the scream, flipping back and forth between the death and the confining space of the vent shaft. Moira cried in her sleep, unable to make the images go away.

He couldn't let this go on. It wasn't doing her any good to sleep, not like this. "Moira," Nathan whispered, shaking her very gently. "You're dreaming. You're just dreaming. Wake up, love..."

She jerked and cried out, opening her eyes. "Nay!" Moira whimpered before she began to focus on Nathan and the room around her. "N-Nathan? Wha' 'appened?"

"It's all right," he said very softly, pulling her back gently against his chest. "I just... thought it was better if you woke up. Your dreams..."

She snuggled closer, eyes shut again tightly. "'ell, I'm sorry, dinnae mean--I know th' link's sensitive, I'm sorry." Moira took a deep breath. "Jus' bloody bad memories, again. I 'ate goin' through this."

"Don't apologize to me," he said quietly but fiercely, kissing the top of her head. "Don't ever apologize. This is what the link's for." He rubbed her back gently, feeling the tension in her muscles. "And you're not going through it alone," he murmured, just as fiercely.

"Yer injured," Moira whispered, feeling tears prick the back of her eyelids. "T' much ta deal wit', ye need time ta rest an' get better."

"Need you to be better, to get better," he told her. She tilted her face upwards, towards him, and he frowned at the bruise on her throat. "Should've been there to protect you," he whispered.

Gently, she touched his cheek and blinked back more tears. "Ye couldnae 'ave known, love. I'm fine..." Moira caught the look he gave her and frowned a little. "Or I'll be fine. I jus'...should 'ave found another way."

"What is, is," Nathan said, as calmly as he could. "You didn't have much choice." The memories had been clear as day on the link. "He didn't give you much choice, Moira. I know it hurts, but it was him or you." He stroked her hair back from her face gently. "I'm so, so sorry," he said, his voice wavering a little.

She reached up to kiss him gently, tears starting to escape. "Ye 'ave nothin' ta apologize for," Moira told him. "I'm jus' goin' ta be seein' tha' in me 'ead for a verra lon' time. 'appened th' last time as well."

Nathan wrapped his good arm around her, holding her tightly to him. "Could've lost you," he muttered into her hair. "Scares the hell out of me, just thinking about it..."

"'e said 'e wasnae goin' ta," she whispered, clutching at him tightly. "Said 'e dinnae kill ye because 'e liked me. If 'e 'adnae...tha' scares me. It all scares me." Moira shuddered a little bit.

"It's okay," Nathan murmured. "We're both here. None of the kids are hurt. It's okay."

She nodded and tried to unwind but her mind kept whirring about like a puppy that someone fed coffee to. "I think wha' really scares me is tha'--everythin' I do?" Moira tilted her head back to look at Nathan properly. "Everythin' can be used for th' wron' reason. I saw it wit' Essex, I've seen it wit' others. 'ell, even experiments like th' one in 'enry's section. I *knew* tha' before, this jus' brin's it 'ome so much more."

"What do you mean?" Nathan asked, troubled.

"Jus' tha' 'tis a frightenin' thought tha' wha' I do for a livin' can be turned around an' used against someone. 'Tis why I was so bloody upset when we got to Muir...did I tell ye wha' I found th' day after th' attack?"

"No," Nathan said slowly. "You didn't."

Moira sighed and frowned, staring at Nathan's chest where she had put her hand. "Sunday, I went down to where they'd been stayin'. Most o' wha' Essex was usin' was gone, nay a surprise there, aye? But from what I could gather from th' remenants an' wha' W.H.O. 'ad found an' left for me..." For a second, a furious look came over her face before exhaustion chased it away. "Experiments, possibly on 'uman or mutants. Changin' DNA an' th' like. Son o' a bitch was usin' me findin's, 'acked 'is way int' Muir's databases an' grabbed as much data as 'e bloody fuckin' could..." She dropped her head back onto Nathan's shoulder and blinked back the tears.

"Son of a bitch," Nathan said, softly but vehemently. "Moira... it's not your fault. You couldn't have known."

"Keep tryin' ta tell meself tha', but 'tis 'ard. I trusted 'im, 'e was a friend. I jus' thank God tha' I was smart enough ta keep yer records off o' Muir's computer banks." The bed creaked a little as she shifted, snuggling closer to Nathan. "Everythin's so damned surreal right now."

Nathan let his eyes roam around the confines of the unfamiliar bedroom, sighing. "At least I only did in your living room," he said. "Cain's probably cursing my name at the moment."

"Love, Cain curses everyone's name, all th' time." Moira raised her head a little to look around as well. "...dinnae realize 'ow much stuff I've gotten since ye came 'ere until now. Realize before, I dinnae 'ave a damned thin' in there besides a few personal items?"

"Are you telling me I encourage you to accumulate clutter?" Nathan said with a soft chuckle, kissing the top of her head.

"Maybe," she teased, snuggling back into him. "Nay, jus' encourage me ta enjoy life, I guess..."

"Mm. Well, that I can live with." Nathan reached down the link, soothing, comforting. "It's going to be okay," he murmured again. "It can't rain forever."

Moira relaxed against him as the link hummed thanks to Nathan's efforts. "I know, jus' 'ard ta keep bein' optimistic after a while. Wish we 'ad room an' time t' breat'."

"So let's take some." Moira looked up at him, startled, and he smiled slightly. "Not now," he reassured her. "Not until everyone's back on their feet and doing better. But once they are... let's go somewhere. Just for a little while."

"...Theo mentioned us takin' a vacation when 'e an' I talked," she mused, a smile creeping out at the thought of that rather enlightening conversation.

"Did he? Well, then, let's do it," Nathan said, much more casually than he felt.

She frowned at him as she felt the link shiver in her mind. "Nathan? Wha's wron'?"

"We both need it, I think," he said a bit unsteadily. "Time to breathe a little."

Moira reached up to touch his cheek. "We'll be okay," she murmured at him.

He sighed heavily, wrapping himself around her as best he could. "I'm really tired, Moira," he whispered, an admission he hadn't really intended to make. He was supposed to be the one being strong for her...

The thought came across loud and strong and Moira grumbled at him a bit. "Got tha' a wee bit wron', Nathan, we're supposed ta be stron' for each other," she reminded him, getting as close as she physically could without hurting him anyway. "I'm tired t', we need ta rest..."

"Right now, I think we both need to sleep," he said with a sigh.

"T' tired fer nightmares," she agreed, eyes starting to close.