xp_logs | Won't Say I Told You So

xp_icarus posting in

Mel tells Jay about the end of her situationship with Madin.

Tears didn't seem to be enough to fully articulate the betrayal Mel was feeling. After everything they'd been through together, everything she'd divulged that she'd never tell anyone else...

She felt bad, crying to Jay about her love life, with that time fast approaching, but she couldn't help it. He always knew how to just listen. Wouldn't try and fix it like Sam or Paige.

There was something mindless of the television as she ranted, viciously attacking a pint of rocky road. "I jus' don' get it.. why would they say that? Madin knew Ellie didn't really mean what she did. It weren't her fault. How could-" The sentence fizzled out into more sobs.

If Jay was a worse brother, more like his mother, he would tell Mel that he had warned her. But then again, he had thought that maybe Mel would be a good influence on Madin too. But Jay hadn't thought Madin would go and say a thing like that to Mel. He rubbed her back.

"Well. You can't fix everyone I guess. Some folks just don't wanna believe no one can be better." Lord knows Jay had been that way long enough, himself. Still was, still would never believe some people could change.

"I thought they liked me though! I liked them. A lot.... Even if they were kinda an ass sometime." Had there been red flags? Sure. But nobody was perfect. Mel wasn't. She was needy and stupid and always falling for people who could never do the same. It felt like a cruel joke. It felt like a nightmare that she couldn't wake up from because that was just her life.

"Some people don't like no one enough to change," Jay tried to console. "And y'all were only together a bit..." He realized that sounded like he was invalidating their relationship but then... Hadn't it not been serious? Mel always fell hard and fast though. She was like him that way.

Mel sniffled. "It's stupid. We weren't even together like that yet an' I'm still hurtin' the way I did after Laurie. I was plannin' on askin' them after dinner with the kids." It had felt right. Could have been right.

Jay wasn't able to school his features, shock and a hint of trepidation written across his face as he pulled his hand away from Mel a little. Surely she didn't mean she had been planning on asking Madin that question... She couldn't have.

"Askin' them what?" He asked cautiously.

"To date. Officially. Be a couple." Was said between scoops of ice cream. "We did all the couple things. Holdin' hands an' goin' on dates and whatnot. I wanted the label though. God, I wanted it." It felt stupid. People could care about each other without those kind of strings attached. But Mel wanted it to feel real.

Jay put his hand to his chest and let out a breath. Good Lord, had he been scared for a minute there that she's meant something even more serious than to be official.

He tried to compose himself. "Well, they didn't really seem the goin' steady type anyways, Mel, and I know that's what you want. And you deserve."

Mel leaned into his shoulder. "They got me a Thanksgiving present 'cause Sam said it was a thing we did. I- I don' even know anymore." She was hurt, confused, and hurt some more.

Jay knew nothing he said would make anything for Mel feel better. He'd been through this enough with her. He could hold her to him though. He shrugged against her head. "I don't know. Sometimes the values just don't like up even if everything else is alright."

“Yeah…” This was the worst. Somewhere, a Cabot bitch was laughing her ass off. Surely she must have cursed the Guthrie bloodline to never keep love. “It ain’t fair though. It don’t feel fuckin’ fair.”

"No," Jay agreed. "It ain't fair at all."