Haller, Artie and Jubilee: Teenage advice
Jun. 18th, 2025 10:33 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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xp_logsBackdated to morning of June 18.
Artie and Haller seek advice on fitting in as teenagers.
"Jubilee, unlike Captain Catatonic and myself, you had a pretty normal childhood that didn't involve any time as a sewer cryptid. What do know about quote 'theatre kids'?" Artie asked, leaning against the door. You could sign 'theatre kids' but he'd chosen to finger spell it to emphasize... everything ...about this that was alien.
"My counterpart is going to be a challenge to impersonate, according to Haller."
Jim shifted uneasily. "I just said I thought it might be, according to the intel we have. I'm not that familiar with my role, either." The specter of what he could only think of as his call sheet loomed large in his mind. He wasn't a theater kid. It was worse than that.
"Apparently my equivalent is a basketball player," he said. "A popular one."
"Oh dudes, you are totes screwed."
Jubilee looked up from the coffee she'd been waiting to brew, and gave Artie a sympathetic smile. At least she'd had a high school experience of several types, even if the non-trauma bonding part of it was mostly sports focused.
"Like, please tell me you've at least watched the pro-shot of the Hamilton show."
Artie gave her a sarcastic smile, dressing himself as Alexander Hamilton for a moment. "Never actually got the hype, personally. Google says it was more Hairspray, Oklahoma and Into The Woods in 2003." He held out his hands apologetically. "I think Hairspray is about a Black girl maybe? I'd ask that girl who does the density thing, but I don't want to look ignorant in front of the children."
“You’re gonna want to YouTube like, Hairspray and Into the Woods at least. Chris Pine actually has some pipes.” Jubilee noted, tapping her fingers against the counter. Was coffee like water where if you watched it, it didn’t happen? “And Hal’s, babe. When was the last time you even had a game of 1x1? Do we need to get one of the kids to give you pointers?”
"I understand that you're not supposed to move without making the ball bounce, does that count? I'm more concerned about faking the social aspect. I guess m . . . his dad is the principal. And divorced." Jim thought about the dossier again. "Extremely divorced. To the point my alternate seems to have constructed a robust social circle as an excuse to be home as rarely as possible."
“Why does it seem like having divorced parents is the least of your worries? Just drink a lot and ask people if they have any smokes and you’ll do fine, dude.”
Jubilee made a small noise of triumph as the coffee machine finally beeped brightly at her. She pulled her cup from the receptacle and breathed in the caffeine smell with almost religious delight.
"I think we need to consult more widely," Artie signed, laughing. "He's supposed to be what - 16?" He turned to Haller. "Do you know anyone who had nothing weird going on until after they'd finished high school?"
The older man flipped through his mental rolodex, trying to find the section labeled "Lacking Adolescent Trauma." It was not well populated.
"Maybe Arthur?" he guessed.
It was an indication of Jubilee’s professional training that she didn’t collapse in gales of helpless laughter but instead gave Haller what could pass in semi-polite company as a bright smile.
“Maybe not Arthur,” she eventually replied, taking a moment to sip her coffee as she gave the topic the level of concentration it deserved. “It depends how much you really don’t want random people giving you like, pitying looks and possibly holding a betting pool.”
Jim shrugged. "Then I'm out of ideas, because my only other guess was Warren, and when you're that rich 'nothing weird' is not actually the same as 'normal'."
Artie projected an array of headsets, grouped into carefully labelled groups. 'NO' was headed by Hope, Namor and Laura, 'Also no' started with Warren, Quire, the Guthries, 'Been here too long' started with Jean.
'?? Normal?' was Ashley and Jessie, Bobbi, and Nica.
"I think we have to ask the children or Bobbi. But she's dated Warren so..." he shrugged and let the text and images vanish.
“Oddly, like, I think dating Warren makes her the most qualified.” Jubilee replied with a thoughtful smile and a quick sip of her coffee. “I mean, aren’t they engaged too? That’s like the 12d chess of emotional commitments.”
"I feel like we're getting off topic. And also that contemplating Warren's personal life is a blackhole from which none of us will escape." Jim raked a hand through his hair and gave Jubilee a hopeless look. "I don't know, I guess I was just hoping to outsource as little as possible. I don't think anyone would be surprised that I need remedial courses in how to be normal, but that doesn't mean I need to confirm it. Can't you give us anything?"
“Never let it be said I don’t help when begged,” Jubilee replied with an air of seriousness only slightly spoiled by the continued grin she couldn’t seem to entirely banish. “You’ll like, want to take notes though since I can’t be there to help you along.”
Artie and Haller seek advice on fitting in as teenagers.
"Jubilee, unlike Captain Catatonic and myself, you had a pretty normal childhood that didn't involve any time as a sewer cryptid. What do know about quote 'theatre kids'?" Artie asked, leaning against the door. You could sign 'theatre kids' but he'd chosen to finger spell it to emphasize... everything ...about this that was alien.
"My counterpart is going to be a challenge to impersonate, according to Haller."
Jim shifted uneasily. "I just said I thought it might be, according to the intel we have. I'm not that familiar with my role, either." The specter of what he could only think of as his call sheet loomed large in his mind. He wasn't a theater kid. It was worse than that.
"Apparently my equivalent is a basketball player," he said. "A popular one."
"Oh dudes, you are totes screwed."
Jubilee looked up from the coffee she'd been waiting to brew, and gave Artie a sympathetic smile. At least she'd had a high school experience of several types, even if the non-trauma bonding part of it was mostly sports focused.
"Like, please tell me you've at least watched the pro-shot of the Hamilton show."
Artie gave her a sarcastic smile, dressing himself as Alexander Hamilton for a moment. "Never actually got the hype, personally. Google says it was more Hairspray, Oklahoma and Into The Woods in 2003." He held out his hands apologetically. "I think Hairspray is about a Black girl maybe? I'd ask that girl who does the density thing, but I don't want to look ignorant in front of the children."
“You’re gonna want to YouTube like, Hairspray and Into the Woods at least. Chris Pine actually has some pipes.” Jubilee noted, tapping her fingers against the counter. Was coffee like water where if you watched it, it didn’t happen? “And Hal’s, babe. When was the last time you even had a game of 1x1? Do we need to get one of the kids to give you pointers?”
"I understand that you're not supposed to move without making the ball bounce, does that count? I'm more concerned about faking the social aspect. I guess m . . . his dad is the principal. And divorced." Jim thought about the dossier again. "Extremely divorced. To the point my alternate seems to have constructed a robust social circle as an excuse to be home as rarely as possible."
“Why does it seem like having divorced parents is the least of your worries? Just drink a lot and ask people if they have any smokes and you’ll do fine, dude.”
Jubilee made a small noise of triumph as the coffee machine finally beeped brightly at her. She pulled her cup from the receptacle and breathed in the caffeine smell with almost religious delight.
"I think we need to consult more widely," Artie signed, laughing. "He's supposed to be what - 16?" He turned to Haller. "Do you know anyone who had nothing weird going on until after they'd finished high school?"
The older man flipped through his mental rolodex, trying to find the section labeled "Lacking Adolescent Trauma." It was not well populated.
"Maybe Arthur?" he guessed.
It was an indication of Jubilee’s professional training that she didn’t collapse in gales of helpless laughter but instead gave Haller what could pass in semi-polite company as a bright smile.
“Maybe not Arthur,” she eventually replied, taking a moment to sip her coffee as she gave the topic the level of concentration it deserved. “It depends how much you really don’t want random people giving you like, pitying looks and possibly holding a betting pool.”
Jim shrugged. "Then I'm out of ideas, because my only other guess was Warren, and when you're that rich 'nothing weird' is not actually the same as 'normal'."
Artie projected an array of headsets, grouped into carefully labelled groups. 'NO' was headed by Hope, Namor and Laura, 'Also no' started with Warren, Quire, the Guthries, 'Been here too long' started with Jean.
'?? Normal?' was Ashley and Jessie, Bobbi, and Nica.
"I think we have to ask the children or Bobbi. But she's dated Warren so..." he shrugged and let the text and images vanish.
“Oddly, like, I think dating Warren makes her the most qualified.” Jubilee replied with a thoughtful smile and a quick sip of her coffee. “I mean, aren’t they engaged too? That’s like the 12d chess of emotional commitments.”
"I feel like we're getting off topic. And also that contemplating Warren's personal life is a blackhole from which none of us will escape." Jim raked a hand through his hair and gave Jubilee a hopeless look. "I don't know, I guess I was just hoping to outsource as little as possible. I don't think anyone would be surprised that I need remedial courses in how to be normal, but that doesn't mean I need to confirm it. Can't you give us anything?"
“Never let it be said I don’t help when begged,” Jubilee replied with an air of seriousness only slightly spoiled by the continued grin she couldn’t seem to entirely banish. “You’ll like, want to take notes though since I can’t be there to help you along.”
