xp_logs | NOT ANOTHER TEEN DIMENSION

Kane is forced to learn Magic: The Gathering for his counterpart. He finds the expert who makes things even more confusing.

Garrison tended not to seek out Ramsey. They had an oddly positioned history of interactions that, while not antagonistic in any way, tended to send them in other directions most of the time. Also, Kane's interactions with computers were pretty basic for the mansion, so it tended to be limited to in and around the Danger Room and the odd group night at Harry's. But the strange new dimension had upended the mansion in interesting ways and this was one of them.

"Doug, I need your help. MA is tied up and she said you'd be the best one to help." He called through the door. As Doug opened it, Garrison was there, clutching a sheet of paper. "I need to learn how to play Magic. So first, what the fuck is Magic?"

Doug blinked owlishly at the unexpected visitor and extremely unexpected question. "...the Gathering?" he asked to clarify. Talk about things he would not have even put 'for the hell of it' money on happening when he had gotten up this morning.

"Yeah. Like playing cards. Like, I remember MA having a bunch but obviously never really paid attention to them. Turns out my counterpart is kind of obsessed with it and is in a tournament at lunch on Friday. I found a deck he set aside for it and made a list of the cards but I don't have the slightest clue how to play. Also, the wikis and youtube videos are not particularly kind to someone without any idea of the game." He passed over the paper with a list of cards on it. "You got time for a tutorial?"

Doug took the paper from Kane and started looking it over. Magic: the Gathering decklists came in a very predictable pattern - cards grouped by their type (creatures, then spells, then lands) and the card name with the number of them that the deck contained, anywhere from one to four. A number of details started to click together in his mind as he read the list, and he remembered just when the cards in question had hit the tournament scene. "Let me guess," he said as he looked back up to Kane. "Your guy is looking to bring some straight gas to wipe the floor with people?"

"I know he had a deck of cards made out of cards named this. Most of the paintings on the cards were kinda nice." Kane said, for once looking entirely out of his depth.

"Okay." Doug scrubbed his face. "How nerdy do you want to get here?" he asked the other man. "Like, if you want a deep dive on this particular set of cards, we can go -way- down the rabbit hole. Because this is one of THE decks that almost anyone who's played competitive Magic knows about." He cast about, trying to think how to put it in terms Kane might understand. "Remember how the Red Sox managed to finally beat the Yankees and win a World Series by basically becoming Yankees Lite and trying to outspend them? This is the equivalent of that."

A somewhat sheepish expression stole across his face. "Before you ask, yes, I played it back then, and felt more than a little dirty for doing so."

"I don't need a rundown of its checkered pass. I just need to understand how to play will enough not to stand out. The other Garrison is big into this stuff and... well," Kane scratched the back of his head. "He's got his own life that I'm meddling with. And this me doesn't seem to have a lot of wins for his age. I don't want to botch what he does have."

A brisk nod from Doug. "Looking for wins where he can get them? That makes sense. Okay, quick version - this deck took a couple interactions and broke them so badly that Wizards of the Coast had to ban -eight- cards to keep it from being the thing everyone played. And those eight cards count for somewhere between a third and a half of the cards in this decklist."

As they had been talking, a printer had been whirring away on small pieces of cardstock. "Okay, so first thing's first." He held up a card called Vault of Whispers. "Lands are the things you use to provide mana, which is the resource you use to cast spells and summon creatures." He pointed to where the card said 'Artifact Land'. "So the reason this deck works so well is that it's from a set that was all about artifacts, which previously were items you could cast using any color of mana you want. But in this set, anything could be an artifact - spells, creatures, and lands."

He held up another card, called Myr Enforcer. "One of the other things that was introduced along with this was the 'affinity' mechanic, which meant that a spell cost less mana for each of a particular type of card you had already played. In this case, because the emphasis of the set was artifacts, a lot of things have affinity for artifacts. If you have seven artifacts out, you can cast this for free on your turn."

He held up the Vault again. "And almost every single one of your lands counts as an artifact. So it's creating one mana for you AND reducing the cost of some of the rest of your deck. Double dip. Which translates to playing more things faster than your opponent. It's why all the artifact lands eventually went on the banned list."

Two more cards were placed on the table. "And the other two problem children. First, we have Disciple of the Vault. It's a small creature, only costs one black mana, and only has one power and one toughness. But the real danger of it is that, whenever an artifact gets destroyed or sent to your 'graveyard', you may have an opponent lose one life." He held up a small counter with a sliding arrow on it. "Each player starts with twenty life points. When you hit zero, you lose the game. And loss of life is different from damage done by a spell or creature - it's a lot harder to counter. Also, see how it says 'an' artifact? That means it can trigger off of your stuff OR your opponent's stuff. Say you kill one of your opponent's artifact creatures. That's one life lost for them."

The final card was shown - a creature with a wide gaping maw and its parts seemingly held together by electricity in the artwork. "And here we have the thing that gave the deck the other half of its name. The Arcbound Ravager. 'Sacrifice an artifact to put a +1/+1 token on it. Each counter makes it bigger and tougher. And take a count of how many of those cards have artifact listed as a type. And then remember that every artifact you sacrifice ALSO causes loss of life for your opponent."

He set the proxy deck in front of Garrison. "And that's before we get into the shenanigans that happen when you can move those counters to another of your creatures if the Ravager gets destroyed, and the timing of the combat phase." The printer kept whirring away. "Anyways, let's show you how it operates. I'll print out a few of the other decks that were played back then, and we'll both play with our hands showing so I can explain the choices you'll want to make at various times, and you can see just how Ravager Affinity became the only thing people would play until it got nuked from orbit."

Kane sat quietly for a moment. "Well," he said finally, "Now I know how other people feel when I explain about hockey." He sighed. "OK, let's step back from this deck specifically. How do you play a hand of this game? Start to finish?"

Kane's question reminded Doug that he'd gotten a bit ahead of himself. "I'll show you with the decks. Essentially, at the beginning of the game each player draws a hand of seven cards. Who takes the first turn is decided randomly - coin flip, die roll, whatever's handy." He shuffled the cards briskly, then took a hand of seven and laid it face up in front of him. "The way a turn is structured, you draw a card to start your turn, do any 'upkeep' effects that occur, and then you have three phases. A pre-combat spell phase where you lay one of your lands on the field and cast any spells you're able to. Then combat - any creatures you have that are eligible to attack can do so if you choose. After combat is resolved, then you have another spellcasting phase if you want to take advantage of it. And then you end your turn and play passes to the other player."

"OK, so... why do you want to play a land?" Kane looked at his hand with a puzzled expression.

"Right." Break it down to basics, Ramsey. "Lands are your resource. They create mana, which is the stuff you use to cast spells and summon creatures." He used his finger to highlight the skull symbol at the top right of the Disciple. "This means you need to have one black mana available to summon it. There are five different colors of mana - white, blue, black, red, and green, as well as some cards that will create mana that is colorless. If a card has a number on a grey circle, that means that amount of mana can be paid with any color." He pointed at each of the cards in turn, describing what they did and the general priority of playing. "Because you can only play a single land per turn, you can only do things costing one mana on your first turn, two mana on the second, and so on, assuming you have a land to play each turn. Some decks will use spells that can play additional lands, or other ways to accelerate - you may hear that called 'tempo'. In the case of this deck, because most of the lands count as artifacts, it makes a lot of its cards cost less, which is how it creates an advantage."

"So the lands are artifacts and lands? And they can be played as artifacts and lands. Which does... something." Kane said, breathing through his nose. He was a reasonably intelligent man; two degrees, years as a Special Agent, and yet, small pieces of cardboard were refuting all of that. "OK, ones and zeros. Each land is a one I can use, right?"

Doug definitely knew from ones and zeroes. "Exactly. And once you use it..." He turned the card sideways in the way that most players used to indicate it had been tapped and used. "...it's a zero for the rest of the turn. And at the start of the next turn, they all go back to being available."

"Oh... ok, so when you touch them-"

"Tap them."

"Tap them... they're out for the turn, right? So it's... resource management?"

"Exactly." Doug pointed a finger that indicated Kane was onto something. "Just that ithere are several different resources. Your mana, your creatures on the board, the spells in your hand. And then once you understand how they interact, you also want to think about what your opponent might be trying to do with theirs, and how you can either stop them or move faster than them." Which was probably getting a bit too in the weeds. That last part especially - he didn't think a more or less brand new player was ready for what the difference between free blue mana, versus free red mana, might mean for potential reactions by the opponent. Besides, Ravager Affinity was enough of a steamroller for casual play at the lunch table that he didn't need to get into the intricacies of sideboarding or things like that. "But yes, understanding the resources will help you start to figure out what to do when you have multiple options."

"OK, so I want mana. Why don't I just play all my lands first?"

"Rules of the game. Only one per turn, so that there is in theory a relatively level playing field." Doug chuckled. "There's a separate format, where every card ever printed can be played, and believe me, there are decks that can just push the 'I win' button in a single turn, but that's a whole other thing, and way more complicated."

"OK, let's not get into that level. So, sure. I've got some lands down. Now I play creatures, right?"

"Yep, play creatures and/or cast spells. Then there is a combat phase - you can choose to have creatures attack, it's optional. Also they can't attack on the turn they got summoned, you have to wait a turn. Then after combat there's another opportunity to cast spells or summon creatures, and then your turn ends and it's the other player's go." It seemed like Garrison was starting to get into understanding the rhythm of things.

"Wait, I thought the creatures I play can't attack. And there's some after combat phase? How am I supposed to know which is which?" Kane said, a touch plaintively. He was a smart man and knew it, but he hadn't felt this stupid in ages.

Doug nodded, keeping his face sympathetic. He knew what it was like to be out of his depth on things, it was part of why he was generally so gung-ho to know as much as he could about as much as he could. "That's kind of advanced strategy," he admitted. "Times when you want to hold something in reserve, fish out whatever tactic your opponent might be trying." He spent some more time laying out the specifics of the deck, Kane didn't need a fully comprehensive breakdown of when to trigger things, how to fish out potential counterspells, and so on. "The biggest thing to remember is the way these cards are worded, a fair few of the things that happen say 'may', which means it's your responsibility to announce that it's happening. Like the life loss from Disciple."

"Wait, so the rules for this card game are open to interpretation?" Kane was getting tempted to just let his counterpart crash and burn. "What does the life loss from the Disciple mean?"

"Not interpretation. More like it's on you to make sure to enforce them." There were plenty of stories about misplayed ability triggers, missed activations, and the like from every level of play. Magic had grown into a very complex game over the years. "This guy," he said, once again holding up the card. "See where it says 'you may have target opponent lose 1 life'? That 'may' does some heavy lifting. There's a lot of little attention to detail things like that."

"So how does 'may' change things? How can I use it?"

Doug grinned. Now he was getting it. "Make your opponent remember every one of his own abilities. Don't give it to them for free. Distract them with a question at the right time if you think you can swing it."

"But how specifically in this case?"

"Because so many of your cards are artifacts, and you have one that allows you to sacrifice them when you choose, -plus- making your opponent bleed life every time you do, it's very hard to fight off because the damage can come from so many directions - a big Ravager with lots of counters on it, or the life drain from the Disciple, or you can sacrifice the Ravager itself and move its counters to something else. Basically, start fast and aggressive, keep the pressure on at all times, give them too much to deal with at once." Doug tapped the deck. "There's a reason they had to ban so many cards to keep this deck from dominating everything."

"I officially hate this game and everything it stands for." Kane said solemnly, bent over the cards to learn them.