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xp_logsSooraya and Alani have a heart-to-heart as they work to help Alani find some balance.
"Heeeeeeey sweet pea," Alani's words were sing-song as she shut the suite door behind her, barely missing catching her bag as she slipped off her shoes to slip on her house slides. "How was your day?"
Sooraya glanced up from her laptop and grinned at her friend. "Long, but good. I just finished wrapping some of the financial stuff for the school bag project, so that is always a relief. And you look like you had a very good day. You almost seem to be skipping!"
"'Wrapped' as in definitely going to be a thing 'wrapped'?" And the idly happiness turned to an excited edge. Alani gently placed her backpack down to tilt her head at Sooraya. "Oh, yeah, good day in the city, which is always nice after what seems to be the longest week of the longest month in the history of the world."
"Now I get what you mean. I'd say this part is wrapped. I might have the finances in order so far, but they still need to be reviewed and approved." Sooraya quickly explained, quickly saving the document in front of her and shutting her laptop. "How is your externship going? Do they already have you working with real clients?"
"Oh, that's lovely," Alani's quick steps had brought her over to the other woman, arms half raised to offer a congratulatory hug. "Oh, that, yeah, 's goin' fine. I'm definitely learning a lot, Dr. Drumm's amazing. But... I mean, Can I...Can I tell you something? And you promise not to laugh?"
"Okay, now you have me very curious..." Sooraya leaned forward, popping her head up on her first. "I promised not to laugh." She quickly added, though a little smile already flickered around her lips.
There was a pause, after she released her, eyes dropping.
Alani took a deep breath then flashed her roommate a slightly forced smile that even she could feel felt flat. "I think I'm a little burned out, if I'm being honest, babe. What do I do?"
Alani paused, took a deep breath then flashed her roommate a slightly forced smile. "I think I'm a little burned out, if I'm being honest, babe, and I just... man, how do people do this?"
Sooraya's smile dropped immediately and she sat up straight, shooting Alani a sympathetic look. "Oh, that must suck so much. Is it just everything together or is it something in particular that you think that is asking a lot of you?"
There was a moment where Alani almost pulled back before she slowly shrugged. "Just everything, I think. I talked, ya know, to my doctor, and she thinks I should let some things drop, but I don't know... I don't think I know how to do that." She admitted softly.
"It can be really hard." Sooraya paused, reflecting on her own experiences. "Especially when everything you do is important and meaningful in some way, isn't it?"
"Yeah," her response was a murmur, eyes flicking to the wall, a corner to concentrate on as she tried to word her next thought. Instead a question followed. "How do you do it, Sooraya?"
"Hmm..." Sooraya took a moment to reflect, wanting to give her friend an honest answer. "I don't think there is one straight answer to that. The fact that it's my calling and my faith do help sustain me mentally and spiritually. I've had to make choices about what I could give myself too. Passed on a project or two, took a step back in Underground leadership... but sometimes it's also just hanging on by the skin of my teeth until a friend bops me on the head and shakes me awake."
"Is that what this is?” Alani’s amused grin was accompanied by a hopeful glint. Of course a chuckle followed, covering up the emotions if she'd misunderstood. "Sorry, I mean... that's... choices, that's what it comes down to. And doing what's best, huh? For yourself?"
"It can be... but not always. There might be other things that play a role. Like with your externship you are bound to certain obligations, aren't you? Plus still paying the school a lot of money? Then that needs to be a priority, I think." Sooraya pondered out loud.
At the reminder, a groan had built in Alani’s throat, discomfort rising in her before she nodded. Her school was a priority for the future, her community was also a priority for the future. "Yeah," she admitted after a beat, brows furrowed, brain still spinning.
"Sweet pea, Sooraya.... would you please help me come up with a priority list?" The question was soft, but strained. "I mean, what if they're all important? Externship aside, I... I think I, well, I don't know what should be prioritized, if I'm being honest..."
"Of course. You only need to ask." Sooraya let out a minuscule sigh of relief. Something concrete she could work with. "Why don't we just start with listing what you're dealing with at the moment. We don't have to worry about prioritizing yet... just getting a bit of an overview for the moment?"
With a sigh of her own, Alani nodded, though she also took the opportunity to pull out her schedule. "Okay. Aside from school which is about half, maybe a third of my days, there's volunteer work at the center, I have a caseload of student tutoring, and pinch hitting when people need it of course, and then it's just my eXcalibur duties and Generation X. I mean, when I say it like that, it's not a lot..."
"It's plenty, I'd say. Especially with something taking about half your time and then you still have at least four pretty big things going on." Sooraya pointed out, raising an eyebrow. "Now, I'd say that in your school there is only limited flexibility, but what in your other things... volunteering, eXcalibur and Gen X"
There was a sound like a disappointed groan, when she was only truly disappointed with herself, though Alani nodded. "I... yeah, I mean, I could, definitely change those calendars around. I just... I also don't like dropping things. It's.... it's not even that much extra. I can't just drop that on someone else."
"What if we looked at it in a slightly different way..." Sooraya narrowed her eyes as she thought. "Say you got sick... where would you have the most backup? Where could someone step in most easily?"
Linking her hands together, she thought about it, weighing the responsibilities. When was the last time she'd gotten sick? Bad sick? Her brows furrowed for a moment before she eased. "I guess... volunteering, then probably Generation X, and Excalibur." As the list went, she mumbled, uncertainty in her eyes, but it seemed sound.
Sooraya quickly reached out, covering Alani's linked hands with one of her own: "If you feel you need to make a change... that is where you need to start looking. And with volunteering... almost everyone I know has stepped away for a while because life was a bit too much."
"But I've already done that," Alani's admission was soft, brows knit together as she couldn't stop the disappointment in herself. "I know I can't be perfect, and do everything but I was able to balance this before. And I volunteer, I choose to do it. It matters..."
"Of course it matters... it all matters. I think that is the really hard part." Sooraya gave Alani's hands a gentle squeeze. "And even though you were able to balance it before, it sounds like the balance has just shifted a bit too much. Maybe you shift a little bit of this and a little bit of that, so you don't have to let go of something fully."
The tension eked out of her, slowly, but her shoulders went lax with her next exhale, she doubted she could lean into Sooraya anymore. "Yeah, I... I should text Isiah. A little bit for balance."
"...Thank you, Sooraya. I'm sorry I always whinge to you."
"Not whinging. Just leaning on..." Sooraya shifted a little, letting Alani settle again her shoulder. "Let everything settle a little before you start rushing around again."
"Yeah...." A slight smile ticked up, calmness in her relaxation second to the realization that she hadn't relaxed her form for some time. "I'm glad you're my friend, sweet pea, I'm glad you're in my life. I don't mean that cryptically! I'm just- I'm happy, being friends with you makes me happy. Thank you."
"Anytime." Sooraya smiled at the friend. "And now I have one suggestion... we are gonna take the night off. Those numbers will still be there tomorrow and so will all of your things. What do you think?"
"Heeeeeeey sweet pea," Alani's words were sing-song as she shut the suite door behind her, barely missing catching her bag as she slipped off her shoes to slip on her house slides. "How was your day?"
Sooraya glanced up from her laptop and grinned at her friend. "Long, but good. I just finished wrapping some of the financial stuff for the school bag project, so that is always a relief. And you look like you had a very good day. You almost seem to be skipping!"
"'Wrapped' as in definitely going to be a thing 'wrapped'?" And the idly happiness turned to an excited edge. Alani gently placed her backpack down to tilt her head at Sooraya. "Oh, yeah, good day in the city, which is always nice after what seems to be the longest week of the longest month in the history of the world."
"Now I get what you mean. I'd say this part is wrapped. I might have the finances in order so far, but they still need to be reviewed and approved." Sooraya quickly explained, quickly saving the document in front of her and shutting her laptop. "How is your externship going? Do they already have you working with real clients?"
"Oh, that's lovely," Alani's quick steps had brought her over to the other woman, arms half raised to offer a congratulatory hug. "Oh, that, yeah, 's goin' fine. I'm definitely learning a lot, Dr. Drumm's amazing. But... I mean, Can I...Can I tell you something? And you promise not to laugh?"
"Okay, now you have me very curious..." Sooraya leaned forward, popping her head up on her first. "I promised not to laugh." She quickly added, though a little smile already flickered around her lips.
There was a pause, after she released her, eyes dropping.
Alani took a deep breath then flashed her roommate a slightly forced smile that even she could feel felt flat. "I think I'm a little burned out, if I'm being honest, babe. What do I do?"
Alani paused, took a deep breath then flashed her roommate a slightly forced smile. "I think I'm a little burned out, if I'm being honest, babe, and I just... man, how do people do this?"
Sooraya's smile dropped immediately and she sat up straight, shooting Alani a sympathetic look. "Oh, that must suck so much. Is it just everything together or is it something in particular that you think that is asking a lot of you?"
There was a moment where Alani almost pulled back before she slowly shrugged. "Just everything, I think. I talked, ya know, to my doctor, and she thinks I should let some things drop, but I don't know... I don't think I know how to do that." She admitted softly.
"It can be really hard." Sooraya paused, reflecting on her own experiences. "Especially when everything you do is important and meaningful in some way, isn't it?"
"Yeah," her response was a murmur, eyes flicking to the wall, a corner to concentrate on as she tried to word her next thought. Instead a question followed. "How do you do it, Sooraya?"
"Hmm..." Sooraya took a moment to reflect, wanting to give her friend an honest answer. "I don't think there is one straight answer to that. The fact that it's my calling and my faith do help sustain me mentally and spiritually. I've had to make choices about what I could give myself too. Passed on a project or two, took a step back in Underground leadership... but sometimes it's also just hanging on by the skin of my teeth until a friend bops me on the head and shakes me awake."
"Is that what this is?” Alani’s amused grin was accompanied by a hopeful glint. Of course a chuckle followed, covering up the emotions if she'd misunderstood. "Sorry, I mean... that's... choices, that's what it comes down to. And doing what's best, huh? For yourself?"
"It can be... but not always. There might be other things that play a role. Like with your externship you are bound to certain obligations, aren't you? Plus still paying the school a lot of money? Then that needs to be a priority, I think." Sooraya pondered out loud.
At the reminder, a groan had built in Alani’s throat, discomfort rising in her before she nodded. Her school was a priority for the future, her community was also a priority for the future. "Yeah," she admitted after a beat, brows furrowed, brain still spinning.
"Sweet pea, Sooraya.... would you please help me come up with a priority list?" The question was soft, but strained. "I mean, what if they're all important? Externship aside, I... I think I, well, I don't know what should be prioritized, if I'm being honest..."
"Of course. You only need to ask." Sooraya let out a minuscule sigh of relief. Something concrete she could work with. "Why don't we just start with listing what you're dealing with at the moment. We don't have to worry about prioritizing yet... just getting a bit of an overview for the moment?"
With a sigh of her own, Alani nodded, though she also took the opportunity to pull out her schedule. "Okay. Aside from school which is about half, maybe a third of my days, there's volunteer work at the center, I have a caseload of student tutoring, and pinch hitting when people need it of course, and then it's just my eXcalibur duties and Generation X. I mean, when I say it like that, it's not a lot..."
"It's plenty, I'd say. Especially with something taking about half your time and then you still have at least four pretty big things going on." Sooraya pointed out, raising an eyebrow. "Now, I'd say that in your school there is only limited flexibility, but what in your other things... volunteering, eXcalibur and Gen X"
There was a sound like a disappointed groan, when she was only truly disappointed with herself, though Alani nodded. "I... yeah, I mean, I could, definitely change those calendars around. I just... I also don't like dropping things. It's.... it's not even that much extra. I can't just drop that on someone else."
"What if we looked at it in a slightly different way..." Sooraya narrowed her eyes as she thought. "Say you got sick... where would you have the most backup? Where could someone step in most easily?"
Linking her hands together, she thought about it, weighing the responsibilities. When was the last time she'd gotten sick? Bad sick? Her brows furrowed for a moment before she eased. "I guess... volunteering, then probably Generation X, and Excalibur." As the list went, she mumbled, uncertainty in her eyes, but it seemed sound.
Sooraya quickly reached out, covering Alani's linked hands with one of her own: "If you feel you need to make a change... that is where you need to start looking. And with volunteering... almost everyone I know has stepped away for a while because life was a bit too much."
"But I've already done that," Alani's admission was soft, brows knit together as she couldn't stop the disappointment in herself. "I know I can't be perfect, and do everything but I was able to balance this before. And I volunteer, I choose to do it. It matters..."
"Of course it matters... it all matters. I think that is the really hard part." Sooraya gave Alani's hands a gentle squeeze. "And even though you were able to balance it before, it sounds like the balance has just shifted a bit too much. Maybe you shift a little bit of this and a little bit of that, so you don't have to let go of something fully."
The tension eked out of her, slowly, but her shoulders went lax with her next exhale, she doubted she could lean into Sooraya anymore. "Yeah, I... I should text Isiah. A little bit for balance."
"...Thank you, Sooraya. I'm sorry I always whinge to you."
"Not whinging. Just leaning on..." Sooraya shifted a little, letting Alani settle again her shoulder. "Let everything settle a little before you start rushing around again."
"Yeah...." A slight smile ticked up, calmness in her relaxation second to the realization that she hadn't relaxed her form for some time. "I'm glad you're my friend, sweet pea, I'm glad you're in my life. I don't mean that cryptically! I'm just- I'm happy, being friends with you makes me happy. Thank you."
"Anytime." Sooraya smiled at the friend. "And now I have one suggestion... we are gonna take the night off. Those numbers will still be there tomorrow and so will all of your things. What do you think?"
