xp_logs | Nathan and Manuel, Tuesday morning

Manuel shows up for his first empathy lesson from the Askani. It goes quite well, and he proves he's actually a rather quick learner when he wants to be. Nathan, while testing his shields, pulls off a defensive technique that gets the Askani empath very excited, as it may be the key to Manuel getting real control of his powers.

Manuel walked into the classroom precisely on time, as he agreed the day before. His expression, however, was an odd mix between apprehensive and hopeful. He took the same seat he had last time (thankfully, it had been cleaned of his Beverage spill) and waited.

"Sorry," Nathan muttered, limping in a couple of minutes later. "Gadget wasn't quite ready. Hank was making a couple of last adjustments." He lowered himself into the chair he had taken last time, eyeing Manuel speculatively.

"What gadget?" he asked rudely. "Aren't we doing psionics today?"

"We are," Nathan said. "But it would be a pain in the ass to have to lock and unlock your dampener every time we do this. So a few very big brains got together and created a remote." He showed the device, about the size of a cell phone, to Manuel.

"A remote. Great. Now my mutant power is a goddamned television." he groused. "You trying to see if my brain will get CNN?"

"This is my amused face," Nathan said dryly, propping his crutch against the wall behind him. "Really. In the interests of being fair and above-board, I should also tell you that the remote has a panic button."

"A panicbutton. Ah. So in case I look at you wrong, you can cut me off remotely." he said sarcastically. "Way to inspire some trust, Master. Shall we begin?"

"Trust works both ways, Manuel. Neither of us has earned it from the other yet." Nathan pressed the button that would switch off the dampener, and then quite deliberately laid the remote aside.

Manuel shuddered and then smiled a sick, happy smile. "Ahhhhh, that's _much_ better." he said with a grin. "So - what's first?"

Nathan closed his eyes. "I'll let Galin take it from here," he said, surrendering control and letting Askani draw him back, deeper into the stars and into a rather pleasant memory of one of the Clan's major holidays, early on in the war. He was just as happy not to be 'present' for the first of these sessions, after yesterday...

"Well," Galin said, sitting up straight in Nathan's body and peering with interest at the boy. "So here we are finally, Manuel."

Manuel _blinked_ as the emotional aura changed completely around Nathan. "You're Galin, I take it? Wow, that's weird."

"It is odd, yes," Galin conceded, taking a moment to accustom himself to the physical world again. "A very odd psychic variation. I'm not sure how he's doing it, but I'm not about to complain." He studied Manuel keenly. "Thought it would be best if we had a little privacy, at least to start. Hence why the Lady is taking him on a bit of a tour of some of our Clan's more enjoyable history."

Manuel shrugged. "Sure, sure. He's out, you're in. So how are we going to go about doing this? You know what you're doing - I presume - but Nathan's not an empath. So how are you going to show this stuff to me?"

"Impatient, aren't you?" Galin snorted. "That's what we need to talk about. There are a few different options." He waved a casual hand. "Some things, I can talk you through. Visualization is key for a number of the basic techniques."

"Visualization? What's that?" he said, interrupting yet again. "Like pretending?"

"Hrmph," Galin said, choosing to refrain from any comments about the boy being slow. The Lady had said he reacted poorly to ridicule. "Shields, for example. The most effective way to build a shield is to envision a wall."

Manuel leaned back in his chair. "That's what Kwannon said." he snorted, suspicion rolling off of him in waves. "And she _lied_."

"Child, I don't have the patience to try and convince you of our truthfulness," Galin snapped. "You either take the training or you don't. It's up to you."

"As soon as you start teaching I'll learn. So far all you're doing is repeating Kwannon's lies. She tried to get me to do that too, and I did it, and it never stopped her. Didn't even slow her down." he said, still suspicious. "But I'll try it again to make you happy."

"A wall is a beginning," Galin said with a sigh. Oh, he was far too old for this. "The very first step. If she never taught you anything more than that, you can cheerfully stab her eyes if you choose."

"I'll hold you to that. That's even kinda sweet, as she got her vision back from Essex. She used to be blind. Returning her to that state would amuse me greatly." he said sadistically. "So I imagine a wall. Then what?"

Galin frowned. "The psionic parasite has already been dealt with, has she not?" he asked suspiciously. "Do anything to her victim, and I can assure you, you will be receiving no further training from any of my people." He shook his head, making a mental note to speak to Nathan about this. "The wall is simply a representation. For you, as an empath, the pieces of the wall are made up of emotion. A telepath would barrier themselves with empty thoughts. You need to opt for... repelling emotions. Coldness, determination. Untouchability."

Manuel stopped to think about that for a second, then slapped his forehead. "DUH! That's what she never explained, and why it never worked! She had me trying to focus in on a thought, use that as a shield. No _wonder_ she and the others could skate right through it. Dammit, now I want Kwannon back so I can shred her myself!"

Galin laughed dryly. "You could possibly manage to create a defense of that sort, but it wouldn't be much stronger than what a headblind person could muster. Why waste the time, I say, when you have a much more effective variant available to you." He tapped a finger thoughtfully on the arm of the chair. "An empathic wall will flummox most telepaths completely. Far more efficient."

"I like the way you think. It will be nice to be invisible to telepaths, and since I'm the only empath here, I don't have to worry about that aspect." he said with a grin. "So, how do you make this wall of yours?"

"The trick is to layer it," Galin explained. "Different types of emotions, complementary and contrasting. A telepath could break through a layer of indifference with enough force, but he would only be struck harder by a layer of despair."

Manuel hrmmed. "How do you do that? I'm not good at projecting multiple emotions at the same time."

"One layer at a time, and lots of meditation." Galin made a thoughtful noise. "Lusanya will be better for helping you with that than I. Before she died she managed a shield of sixteen separate layers. It takes a great deal of concentration."

Manuel whistled. "I break down at two distinct emotions at the same time - but it's easier if they're related. Like fear and panic. That sort of thing."

"Practice makes perfect," Galin said. "But we've merely touched upon the issue of passive defenses yet. I'm assuming you do want to know more than merely how to defend yourself?"

Manuel nearly sprained his neck nodding. "Yep. I'm strong, I know that. I can make people feel deeply. But I can't make the changes _stick_, and that's really frustrating. I've tried knotting them off, but the knots always unravel unless I'm actively sustaining them. Which defeats the point."

"Luckily," Galin quipped, "we have perhaps an ideal model for permanent empathic alteration sitting right here. Well," he amended, "not ideal. What was done to him is not something I would teach you to do, but we can study him to help you understand how permanent changes function."

"I tried that. He almost killed me." he admitted ruefully. "All I wanted to do was see how it was done."

"You didn't merely look, though," Galin said sardonically. "You attempted to make him obey you, which is a very deeply laid trigger indeed. If we avoid doing foolish things like that, there's a lot to be learned from merely studying him."

"Well, yeah. That's because he was flipping out. I only wanted him to stop, and he wouldn't listen to me." he said defensively. "I haven't forgiven him for that yet."

"Tell me, Manuel, if you were approaching an injured animal, to see how badly it was hurt, perhaps, would you kick it?" Galin asked dryly. "And if you did, would you truly be that surprised if it turned around and bit you?"

Manuel shrugs. "Never been around a wounded animal before. Are they dangerous?"

"Apply a little logic," Galin suggested. "Anything irrational and in pain is going to react violently to further pain."

"How was I supposed to know it was going to hurt him? There was no indication, especially when all I wanted to do was look at his segmentation..." he complained. "But anyway, about this shielding thing. Can you show me?"

"I would say take it as a lesson to be more judicious, but you've clearly taken that to heart, at least as it applies to him," Galin said. "And the shielding... yes, between Lusanya and I, we should manage to teach you." He hmmed under his breath. "With Nathan, to use as a model and subject, we should be able to give you a good grounding in the basic active techniques, as well. More advanced techniques... well, I'm still trying to figure out precisely how to demonstrate those." He shook his head, aggravated. "If only Nathan had even an iota of empathic ability. This would be so much simpler."

"Can't you make the jump into my head, if Nathan touches my mind first? Wouldn't that be easier?" he asked.

Galin raised an eyebrow, smirking. "And how would you have reacted had I made that suggestion?" he inquired.

"Badly." he admitted. "But this is my choice, which makes all the difference."

"Later, perhaps," Galin allowed. "There's a lot of work to be done before we reach the point where I need to demonstrate things personally, and I'm unwilling to cause that much strain on Nathan until it's necessary. He would have to maintain the link, you see."

Manuel shrugged. "Your choice, you're the one who knows what he's doing."

"Well, then. I think we have a basic training schedule." Galin poked curiously at the cast on Nathan's leg. "Tell me, which emotions are you most comfortable projecting? Ones that might be useful for a shield of the sort I described, I mean."

"I like lust. That one's just too useful. I do well with strong primary emotions - fear, happiness, lust, anger, that sort of thing. I've no need for anything less. Those have always worked for me." he said with a grin. "I can also do hallucinations, but those always take it out of me."

"We'll have to work on the subtleties," Galin said dryly. "Shades of emotion can be almost as useful, especially in shielding. But fear is a good start." He folded Nathan's arms across his chest, frowning a little at the twinge of pain from the healing shoulder. "Shall we start there, as a first layer?"

"Sounds like a plan. You tell me what to do, I'll do it." he said cockily. "I'm strong, I can handle it."

The arrogance would take care of itself, Galin reflected with a flash of dark humor. "Let me wake Nathan up, then," he said. "While I'm doing that, concentrate on the image of a wall, made out of fear."

Manuel nodded, and set to the task he was given. His eyes did _not_ glow, as he wasn't projecting the fear, but by the looks of it he was concentrating hard. In his mind, a wall slowly constructed itself - a wall made of screaming faces, each one shrieking in fear.

"Excellent!" Galin said approvingly, even as he called out to summon Nathan back. "You have a definite flair for imagery."

Manuel concentrated on keeping his wall intact, keeping himself on one side of things and the rest of the world on the other. In his mind, there was a bright glow from the corner of his eye that kept distracting him, but he tried very hard to keep his wall intact, to keep them screaming with fear.

Nathan shook himself a little, feeling as if he'd awoken out of a brief nap. He blinked at Manuel, tilting his head and frowning at the odd blurring of his presence. #Galin, what is he doing?# he asked tentatively.

"Beginning to practice proper shielding, little brother," Galin said, using his voice. "An empath's shielding, not the foolishness these others have been attempting to teach him."

Manuel could _feel_ the pressure against his wall, feel even the most cursory of scans beat against his shield. Still, he managed to hold it, but not without the screaming fear going down a notch or two. "It's hard to hang onto this. How long do you want me to do it?"

"A while longer," Galin said. "I'm going to have Nathan test it. Be prepared - this may not be comfortable."

#Test it?# Nathan asked, bemused.

Galin sighed. "Merely attempt to access his thoughts," he said, as if talking to a small child.

Nathan frowned and focused, reaching out - and freezing. "Oww..." It slipped out before he could help it, and he rocked backwards in his chair, shivering. "What the hell...?"

Manuel grinned in pleasure, and at that point his wall collapsed, the screaming bricks fading into nothingness. "Dammit!" Manuel said, punching the arms of his chair. "I _had it_. I had him stopped _cold_!"

Galin chuckled wryly. "It's a good start, youngster. We'll have to try it again, see how much pressure you can hold out against. The ideal is to be able to stop an attack, not simply a scan."

"I never used to be able to stop scans. Kwannon could slip in and out of my mind at will, and I couldn't stop her." he confessed. "OK, let me try this again." And he closed his eyes, to block out distractions, and laboriously reconstructed his screaming wall. "OK, try a scan now."

#Harder this time, Nathan,# Galin said, inside his head this time. #Break it down.#

Nathan grimaced, then closed his eyes, imagining not a sledgehammer but a sword. He lashed out with it, and this time ignored the flash of cold terror that came over him as he made contact. Something--broke, he felt it, and then there were Manuel's thoughts, wide-open. He backed off hurriedly, not letting the attack hit home.

Manuel grunted like he'd been poked in the stomach by one of Jamie's quarterstaves. "What the _hell_ was that? Was that an attack? I felt a pressure, and then my wall broke. Goddammit. I can't even stop a low-ranking teep. This sucks."

"Remember what I said about layers?" Galin said promptly. "One layer can't stop an attack, even when the telepath so obligingly pulls his blow like Nathan just did. If there had been a second there, a third... you would have held out longer, at the very least. A fourth, or fifth would have bought you enough time to launch an counterattack." He laughed wryly. "But you must do this one step at a time, Manuel. Each layer must become second nature, before you move on to the next."

"And I'm hardly a lamebrain," Nathan muttered.

Manuel looked at Nathan, and unable to resist his temptation, poked at him empathically. "Neither am I, remember?" he said with irritation, then closed his eyes again to rebuild his wall brick by brick. Apparently it was getting harder and harder to do, as he didn't reopen his eyes for a full minute. "OK, wall's there. It's shaky, but it's there. Now what?"

#No, Nathan!# Galin said sharply as Nathan jerked in his chair, reaching for the dampener's remote. #You will do nothing of the sort. How do you plan to handle helping him practice if an innocuous nudge sends you into a panic?#

#But--#

#But nothing!# Galin flared, but then calmed. #Bright Lady be merciful, boy, do you truly believe any of us would let him harm you? Calm yourself. Trust us.#

Nathan took a deep breath, letting his hand rest on the arm of the chair. #All right. Now what?# he asked, unconsciously echoing Manuel's question.

#Steady pressure on his shield. Test his endurance.#

Manuel gritted his teeth as he felt the push against his shields, and just to see if he could, he shoved _back_ as hard as he could. "You're _not_ getting in. Not this time!"

Nathan flinched, that cold, paralyzing fear jolting through him, but he shunted it away and pushed back. "Guess we see who's more stubborn, then," he grated. Steady pressure, Galin had said. He could crack this... shield, if that was the right word for it, but that wasn't the point.

Manuel wasn't a believer in firm steady pressure. When Nathan resisted, he _shoved_ with all his not-inconsiderable willpower behind it. "Get out of my head." he grunted at Nathan as he broke out into a sweat.

Nathan jerked in the chair, his breathing going shallow. Not your fear, he told himself fiercely and shunted it away again, pushed it down the channels that took emotions like that away and let his head be clear under pressure. "Not... in your head, kid," he growled, his hands clenching on the arms of the chair. He imagined a wave, building as it moved across the water.

Manuel's own knuckles were clenched white as he strained. His wave of power was met by a parting of the waters themselves, letting the wave break up when it reached the dryness of the floor of the ocean. Manuel's eyes now glowed red as he added another layer, causing him to sweat even harder, and his vision to dim around the edges. "You don't like my fear? Fine. Try a mix." For every fear brick, next to it was a brick of transcendant joy. Next to each joy-brick was a brick of absolute terror. Staggered, alternating back and forth, conflicting emotional patterns.

Nathan did his best not to recoil, not understanding why Galin was chuckling in the back of his head. "Son of a bitch," he growled, pushing back harder. The clashing emotions flowed through him and away, but he could feel his head starting to throb, and knew he wasn't going to be able to manage the stalemate much longer. #Can't I just--#

#No. Steady pressure,# Galin repeated, still chuckling. #I want to see which of you breaks first.#

Manuel's vision was developing distinct tunnel-like aspects, and his own breathing echoed like gunshots in his head, but still he pushed, and pushed hard. ~Not. Giving. In.~ he muttered in Castillian, too busy to worry about saying it in English.

"Enough of this," Nathan grated, and deliberately 'kicked' downwards, to 'zen level' where the emotions he was encountering would touch him only dimly. It had been years since he'd done this consciously, but lack of practice didn't seem to be a problem. Shivering as everything became touched with ice, cold and clear like a winter morning, he straightened in his chair, breathing deeply as all of the edges seemed to leave the world.

#WHAT DID YOU JUST DO?# Galin shrieked in his mind, and Nathan stopped, mildly perplexed.

Manuel, his mind still striving, still pushing back, had his body quit on him. Bonelessly, he slumped off of his chair to collapse into a puddle on the floor. Oddly enough, his eyes were still glowing red, and his mind-push was still present. His conscious mind, however, had Checked Out.

Nathan blinked at the young man. "Manuel?" he asked with a touch of concern, ignoring Galin's ranting and raving, given that the empath had broken into Askani profanities and not much else. He stopped pushing and frowned down at Manuel, willing to wait a moment before doing anything. #Galin, would you please stop that?# he sent evenly.

As the pressure against Manuel's mind died away, so did the red eyeglow and his own pushing response. After about a minute, Manuel groaned loudly. "Owwww." he whined, clutching at his head. ~My head hurts. What happened?~ he said in Castillian.

"I have no idea," Nathan said calmly, unable to help enjoying the icy clarity. "My fault, I suppose. Galin's ranting." Yet most of the Askani sounded curiously muffled, which was odd. Nathan tilted his head for a moment, listening, and then turned his attention back to Manuel. "Bad enough headache to need something for it?" he asked conversationally.

Manuel groaned. ~Yes, please.~ he said in Castillian. ~My head really hurts, and I don't think I can muster a coherent feeling right about now.~

#Brother?# Askani said, her voice clearer than the rest. #Let me try something...# Nathan let her emerge, and felt her reach out to Manuel and do... something that seemed vaguely familiar. #Far better than drugs,# she said in satisfaction. #And where precisely did you learn how to do that, Nathan? The void, I mean.#

#The... what?# Nathan blinked, watching Manuel shake his head and do the same, repeatedly. #Oh... my 'zen level'? They taught me,# he said, knowing Askani would know who 'they' were.

Manuel sat back up, shaking his head to rid it of the cobwebs. "I don't know what just happened there, but I feel better already." he said in English. "Guess I failed that test." And despite himself, he tensed as if expecting a physical rebuke.

#Nathan, let me talk to the boy!# Galin finally snapped, and Nathan shrugged and let him speak. "You most certainly did not," Galin said vehemently. "You did enormously well, Manuel. I simply didn't expect Nathan to start duplicating one of our core techniques out of nowhere."

"But my wall broke. He got in." Manuel protested. "And what do you mean, one of _our_ techniques?"

"He undercut your wall," Galin explained, speaking rapidly. "He suppressed his empathic self. There was nothing there for your wall to defend again. These mind-raping pieces of filth who trained him passed on the knowledge of the void to him somehow. But it shouldn't work for a telepath... not like that!"

Manuel ohhhhed. "So ... does that work in reverse? Can I suppress my thinking self to sail through a telepath's walls like that? Or is that what I already do, why telepaths can't shield against me very well?"

"Not precisely - if you suppress your thinking self, what are you doing to do once you get past a telepath's shields? How do you remember the goal you're there for? But you can use this, Manuel. The void can be absolutely invaluable to you, can give you total control over your power if you master it fully." Galin laughed suddenly, almost ecstatically. "I had no idea how I was going to teach it to you, yet here we are with a model! Bright Lady, what a fortuitous turn of events."

Manuel blinked. Repeatedly. "Let me see if I understand this. You know a technique that I can learn that will give me total control over my power. You're going to teach it to me. But to do it, I have to twist my brain into nice neat lines like Nathan's?"

"No, no," Galin cackled. "He only manages it because his mind has been so twisted. And he has the void without the flame, which is very unhealthy, oh, yes. This sort of thing is ours, Manuel, it's the balance I spoke of before. Utter control and utter chaos, restraining one another..."

Manuel blinked. "You're not making much sense. But I want to learn, if you think it could help. What do I have to do?"

"Meditation. Lots and lots of meditation. Oh, my...." Galin laughed, a little bit more calmly. "But not today, youngster. Askani may have adjusted your pain center, but you do need to rest a bit before we try anything more strenuous. For now, just take a look at Nathan... I'll withdraw, so you can see clearly the effects of what he's done."

Manuel nodded, waited for Galin to withdraw completely, and then studied Nathan. ~Holy shit.~ he said in his native tongue. "That can't be healthy. It's like you're encased in ice."

"It feels awfully good for something that's not healthy," Nathan murmured, watching the kid watch him without a trace of fear.

"Of course it does, you fool! You've flatlined your emotional responses. Man, there was a time in my life when I would have gladly _killed_ to know how this was done." he said bitterly. "Perhaps Galin will teach it to me, now that I do not need it. And you might want to be careful - with no feelings like that, I'm sure Moira can't be too happy at what she's feeling over your bond."

"She's felt it before," Nathan said, thinking about the quarry. "It's not unpleasant. Our link is telepathic, remember?" He smiled faintly at Manuel, tilting his head again as he listened to Galin's running explanation. "Galin says he is going to teach it to you, or at least, teach it the way it's supposed to be taught. Apparently I'm doing it wrong. Starting on Thursday. He wants you to practice your shielding until then."

Manuel nodded. "Okay, fair enough. Guess today's lesson is over, then?"

Nathan nodded back. "He says... rest, for at least this afternoon. No practicing until tonight. Apparently you caught a little backlash when I kicked down."

Manuel shrugged. "Fair enough." He then gathered himself together and stood up from his seat. "Same time tomorrow for the bullshit stuff, right? And Friday for the stuff I want?"

Nathan smiled again, still very faintly. "Yes. And remember, the bullshit stuff buys you the stuff you want."

"So you keep telling me." he whined. "I'll be here." And with that, he walked out, secretly hoping Nathan would forget to redampen him.

Nathan snorted, reaching out and picking up the remote for the dampener. "See you in the morning," he called, hitting the button to turn it back on.

Manuel broke stride for a second, wincing as the walls came back up. He didn't say anything, but his body language screamed of his new limits to perception.

"You made progress today, Manuel," Nathan reminded him. "Don't forget that."

"Yeah. At getting my brain scanned." he said before he turned the corner to go.

#He's a pessimist,# Galin pointed out humorously. #No wonder the two of you get along so well.#

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

x-crowdofone.livejournal.com

And he has the void without the flame,

OK, if Askani starts compulsively sniffing and yanking her hair, I'm going to hit both of you. :)

From:

x-cable.livejournal.com

Hit him! Not me! :)

From:

x-rahne.livejournal.com

I missed a reference, didn't I?

And, wow. Why do I suspect having a giddy empath cackling in your brain would be a rather interesting experience, especially once Nathan kicks back out of zen level? Less so, presumably, than if Galin weren't trained, but still.

From:

x-crowdofone.livejournal.com

Both of you. You aided and abetted. :)

From:

x-cypher.livejournal.com

It's a Wheel of Time thing. The Flame and the Void are a technique that male channelers use. :)

From:

x-empath.livejournal.com

I steal from the _best_.

It's a great visual, it worked for me, so I stole it.

I hereby promise that there will be no braid-tossing, sniffing, or crossing the arms under the breasts. Unless they're someone else's, in which case all bets are off. ;)

Redhawk
for Manuel

From:

x-tarot.livejournal.com

There will be acts of braid-tossing in Asgard with Marie-Ange, and Doug will make the appropiate jokes, and Angie will throw him into a lake when she gets a chance.

From:

x-empath.livejournal.com

Which just adds another layer to the joke, as that's what Moiraine did to Lan early on in their relationship.

One of the only good scenes in New Spring.

Redhawk

From:

x-crowdofone.livejournal.com

And Jamie is a. sprouting a beard, b. doing a little blacksmithing, and c. getting a quarterstaff with a wolf theme, so jokes will abound there too. :)