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[x-mactaggart.livejournal.com]

Moira wakes up from a nap she took anticipating a long night to find Nathan back in the room. They talk about the situation, the kids, and how it's hard to walk that fine line between friend and teacher.



The dream was very nice and calm, something to do with the sea and ice cream. A great deal more ice cream than was necessarily needed but it was a dream. As Moira started to wake up, something tugging at her mind gently, she growled softly and rolled over, not wanting to wake up. Briefly, she caught a flash of Nathan reading as she unexpectedly snuggled into his side. She blinked, that had not been there before...but shrugged and tried to bury herself back into sleep, even though she probably should wake up.

Nathan glanced down at her, smiling a little, even despite the accumulated stresses of the day. He shifted a little, kissing the top of her head even as he flipped the page. It was one of the books that had survived the destruction of the living room, mostly because it had still been in a box - 'The Wisdom of Crowds', a rather interesting study of mass culture. It was almost managing to keep him distracted.

The rumbling of the link tugged her further into a wakefulness and she cracked open an eye. "Wha' time is it an' when did ye sneak in?" she muttered, throwing an arm over him.

"Five, six, I'm not sure," he murmured. "And a while ago. Thought I'd keep you company." He managed another faint smile. "Don't mind, do you?"

"Do I ever?" Moira asked, eyes starting to shut again. "Blast. Need ta get up soon, nay sure when th' team's gettin' back. Ye okay, love? Link's all...funny..."

He sighed, suspecting he had probably better tell her. "You caught me feeling very angry earlier, before I shut down?" She nodded slowly, that crease appearing between her eyes as she frowned. "Well, it wasn't due to Manuel. I dunked Angelo in the lake and then shouted at him for the better part of fifteen minutes."

Moira stared up at him, speechless. "...Nathan..." She sighed and took a deep breath. "I dinnae 'ave ta ask 'bout why ye were yellin' at 'im."

"They knew," Nathan said with a good semblance of calm, turning the page again. "Him, Jono, Paige, Clarice... hell, Marie even. I'm not sure if Amanda did. But they knew, better than a week ago, that Sarah had identified this Grey Crow and the others. She told them."

"Bloody 'ell!" At that, Moira sat straight up, sleep forgotten. "They KNEW an' they dinnae say anythin'? We could 'ave 'ad a team out there last week, for God's sake! O' all th' irresponsible, childish thin's ta do! An' then ta act surprised when it 'appened an' ta try an' justify runnin' off an' endangerin' their lives?" She paused, trying to reign in her anger. "'ave ye told Charles?"

Nathan shook his head slowly, pushing himself up into a sitting position as well and closing his book. "Not yet," he said with a sigh. "It's not what's important just now, until the situation's been resolved, for better or worse. If there was anything he needed to know, for the sake of the team that's out there and for Sarah, I would have told him." He shrugged. "Think I'll wait until tomorrow, though."

Moira nodded, shoulders slumping. "Mottled 'eaded, th' lot o' them," she muttered, rubbing her eyes with the back of her hand. Last night had not been a good night for sleeping, for whatever reason, and now she was regretting it.

"You ought to go back to sleep," he said softly, his eyes lingering on her face. A bleak note entered his voice as he went on. "I suspect you'll need it, when they come back."

Her frown deepened. "Tha's wha' I'm afraid o'," Moira admitted, nonetheless stretching back out on the bed. "Maddy's stayin' down there, catchin' some sleep as well I 'ope. Said she'd page me when they got back. I'm never goin' ta get used ta this."

Nathan reached out, taking her hand and squeezing it. "I think you and she and Hank have it the hardest," he said quietly. "Except possibly for Charles, who sends them out in the first place."

"'Tis th' waitin'. Everythin' picks back up when tha's over an' goes by so fast I cannae think 'bout it. But th' wait..." Pitifully, she tugged at his hand.

He tossed the book aside and pulled her into his arms. "I'll be here," he murmured into her hair. "You're not waiting alone."

"I know, makes it easier." Sighing, she snuggled deeper into his arms. "Wasnae like this at Muir. When we 'ad emergencies 'twas always someone we dinnae know. Makes it easier ta prep." Moira grumped. "Sorry, this'll go away as th' time gets closer, promise."

"Vent all you like," he said with a tired chuckle, rubbing her back gently. "Not going to begrudge you it. Especially not after all the times you've done this for me."

"Nay verra patient at thin's like this, but ye already knew that." She tucked her head under Nathan's chin and tried to ease out the tension in her muscles. Moira had never dealt with the unknown and this was driving her insane.

"Being patient and being driven don't often go together," Nathan said, then smiled again faintly. "Funny. Was talking to Doug about patience this morning..."

"Oh?" Doug, when not being driven insane by sex-crazed bugs, was a nice, sane boy.

"Yeah, we had a good talk." Nathan sighed, his arms tightening around her. Then, of course, the rest of the day had gone to hell... "I was way out of line with Angelo," he murmured. "Won't be doing that again."

"'Tis 'ard sometimes," Moira admitted. "Sometimes they act like adults but they're really still growin' up. 'Tis verra 'ard nay ta give in ta th' urge ta shake them or scream at them until they understand."

"I'm done shaking them," Nathan said quietly. "Literally or figuratively."

She tilted her head back. "Hmm?"

"I've been..." He stopped, shook his head. "Going about this the wrong way," he said with another sigh. "They're kids, like you said. I've been expecting too much of them, treating them as if they're capable of giving it. And it's not good for them." He tried to smile again. It didn't quite work. "Time to pull back a little, I think."

Reaching up, she touched his cheek gently. "Givin' ta much an' nay seein' results?" Moira asked, smiling a knowing smile. It was something she did on a daily basis but, then again, she was used to it, used to the kids. Nathan wasn't.

Nathan's jaw clenched, and for a moment, something close to real pain bubbled up inside him before he suppressed it brutally. "It's not good for them," he said, more hoarsely. "It's not doing any good."

Moira winced as the link suddenly pulsed brightly. "Nathan...wha's wron'?" she asked, concern shooting through her. There was something more than it not being good for the kids and he was beating himself up about it.

"I've been fooling myself," he said bleakly. "I need to stop trying to be their friend and stick to teaching them concrete stuff."

"Nathan, listen ta me. Ye can do bot', ye jus' need ta learn 'ow. There are some tha' need tha' friendship, others tha' dinnae. 'Tis a matter o' figurin' 'ow much ta give an' when." Moira looked at him. "'Tis nay easy but ye'll figure it out."

"I still need to take a step back." Maybe not from all of them. He couldn't, not with Amanda or Rahne... or Jane, he thought with a pang, Jane whom he'd made some very specific promises to. "I can't give most of them what they need. I don't have..." He stopped, smiling weakly. "Don't have much to work with."

She closed her eyes and leaned against him some more, knowing that wasn't what he had been about to say. They were so alike, Moira mused, she knew where some of this was coming from. Same place it came from her. "'Tis 'ard," she murmured again. "Especially when ye dinnae see th' results right away."

Nathan gave a strained laugh. "Something else to talk to Jack about on Satuday, huh?"

"Only if yer ready," Moira reminded him, hugging him harder. "I'm sorry, I know 'tis 'ard...god, I know."

"Just need to keep on an even keel until then," Nathan said, taking a deep breath that wasn't as cleansing as it should have been. "Not let Manuel drive me insane. Act like a fucking adult and not go dunking any more of the kids."

"Even adults 'ave limits. Jus' remember tha', love." She sighed, tired again. There was a subject lurking about them, a powerful one, and they were both too tired to even start talking about it. Maybe one day. Moira tried to clear her mind and relax.

"Shouldn't be bothering you with this right now," Nathan murmured, rubbing her back again. "Want to try to distract ourselves? Might be better than this waiting..."

She sighed, muscles unwinding from the pressure on her back. "Yer nay botherin' me. But distractin' would be a good thin' right now. Ideas?"

"Don't think I'm up to our usual form of distraction," Nathan said, managing a wan smile. "Pun intended. But we could go for a walk... you could take your pager, to make sure you're not out of contact."

Shaking her head, Moira laughed a little. "Completely adorable, ye know tha'?" she murmured, tilting her head to kiss him. "But a walk would be lovely. Th' 'eat's gone away, so some quiet time before th' storm will be perfect."