Monday Night Damnation
Jun. 21st, 2004 06:39 pmInspired in part by these icons, and because we could use some funny. Monday evening, Jamie has a disturbing experience. ;)
Jamie rushed into the room, made a beeline for his computer, turned on the screen-saver (currently featuring the Best Of Kitty Pryde Bikini Shoot 2004) and stared at it as if it held the answer to all the world's problems.
"I," he said without turning around, "am going to the special hell."
Doug swiveled around in his chair and raised an eyebrow curiously. "Oh?" he asked curiously. "Do tell, my friend."
"It's a hormone thing, right? We're teenage guys. We can't help it. It's reflex. We see a pretty girl, we look. Uncontrollable impulse. Right?"
Doug's eyebrows rose further towards his hairline. Jamie was with Kitty, they were deliriously happy, and Jamie seemed pretty laid back about things, so what had him so freaked out? "Uh, pretty much, although I usually react something like that myself. Why?"
Jamie swiveled slowly in his chair. "Because I just accidentally checked out Illyana's ass. Hell. Special. Me. Doomed."
Doug whistled. "Oh. Yeah, I can see that. I think I've still got you beat, though. My first reaction to Nathan's post with Doc Mactaggart's dress was 'hel-LO, cleavage!'"
"Doc MacTaggart wasn't seven years old not six months ago. I have never bribed Doc MacTaggart with cookies in order to set up a prank." Jamie tilted his head. "And anyway, that was a really nice dress."
Doug shook his head. "Yeah, but it's like...a Mrs. Robinson thing. She's older, she's a teacher, and she's dating the very nice telepathic telekinetic ex-mercenary who probably knows at least twenty different ways to kill me in my sleep!"
"Checking out your teachers has a time-honored history in the annals of teenage hormones, though. I don't think they have a category for checking out your friend who you're still half-used to her being three feet tall and perpetually sugar-buzzed. Other than 'special hell.'" Jamie grinned. "Besides, Nathan was the one who posted the picture. You can't tell me he didn't figure people would react like that."
Doug nodded slightly. "Yeah, I suppose you're right. And I think he was just amused by it." He muttered softly, "Better than the last time I had a thing for a teacher's girlfriend..."
Jamie lobbed a Koosh at Doug's head. "No angsting. I'm still doomed over here. Good thing I might be seeing Kitty in a couple weeks, all I can say. Get all these wrong and frightening thoughts out of my head."
Doug whipped the Koosh back at Jamie with a sidearm throw. "Yeah, I suppose I'm doomed right along with you, buddy, cuz some of those icons of hers are very distracting. And I don't even have the excuse of missing my girlfriend to fall back on."
Jamie snagged the Koosh out of the air. "Throwing things at a juggler, my man?" He snickered. "Not like Angie's icons are much better. I'm gonna have to see if Kitty wants to show off a little when she gets back, I'm in icon deficit here."
Doug chuckled. "Yeah, between the bathrobe icon, and those gray silk pajamas...well, let's just say that that particular icon makes me want to get up and run over to her room to do things that aren't fit for polite company." He chuckled. "Am getting a little better about not being so embarassed in that regard."
"Good. I thought she was gonna smack you one for a while, there. Guilt-free drooling is one of the perks of having a girlfriend, you know."
Doug nodded enthusiastically. "She's been very helpful in educating me on that." He paused. "As a matter of fact, I think I may go see if she's nearly done packing, as I think most of her roommates are out of the room at the moment." He grinned wolfishly as he got up from his computer. "See you later, buddy."
Jamie laughed. "Feel free not to tell me all about it, man. And have fun."
Jamie rushed into the room, made a beeline for his computer, turned on the screen-saver (currently featuring the Best Of Kitty Pryde Bikini Shoot 2004) and stared at it as if it held the answer to all the world's problems.
"I," he said without turning around, "am going to the special hell."
Doug swiveled around in his chair and raised an eyebrow curiously. "Oh?" he asked curiously. "Do tell, my friend."
"It's a hormone thing, right? We're teenage guys. We can't help it. It's reflex. We see a pretty girl, we look. Uncontrollable impulse. Right?"
Doug's eyebrows rose further towards his hairline. Jamie was with Kitty, they were deliriously happy, and Jamie seemed pretty laid back about things, so what had him so freaked out? "Uh, pretty much, although I usually react something like that myself. Why?"
Jamie swiveled slowly in his chair. "Because I just accidentally checked out Illyana's ass. Hell. Special. Me. Doomed."
Doug whistled. "Oh. Yeah, I can see that. I think I've still got you beat, though. My first reaction to Nathan's post with Doc Mactaggart's dress was 'hel-LO, cleavage!'"
"Doc MacTaggart wasn't seven years old not six months ago. I have never bribed Doc MacTaggart with cookies in order to set up a prank." Jamie tilted his head. "And anyway, that was a really nice dress."
Doug shook his head. "Yeah, but it's like...a Mrs. Robinson thing. She's older, she's a teacher, and she's dating the very nice telepathic telekinetic ex-mercenary who probably knows at least twenty different ways to kill me in my sleep!"
"Checking out your teachers has a time-honored history in the annals of teenage hormones, though. I don't think they have a category for checking out your friend who you're still half-used to her being three feet tall and perpetually sugar-buzzed. Other than 'special hell.'" Jamie grinned. "Besides, Nathan was the one who posted the picture. You can't tell me he didn't figure people would react like that."
Doug nodded slightly. "Yeah, I suppose you're right. And I think he was just amused by it." He muttered softly, "Better than the last time I had a thing for a teacher's girlfriend..."
Jamie lobbed a Koosh at Doug's head. "No angsting. I'm still doomed over here. Good thing I might be seeing Kitty in a couple weeks, all I can say. Get all these wrong and frightening thoughts out of my head."
Doug whipped the Koosh back at Jamie with a sidearm throw. "Yeah, I suppose I'm doomed right along with you, buddy, cuz some of those icons of hers are very distracting. And I don't even have the excuse of missing my girlfriend to fall back on."
Jamie snagged the Koosh out of the air. "Throwing things at a juggler, my man?" He snickered. "Not like Angie's icons are much better. I'm gonna have to see if Kitty wants to show off a little when she gets back, I'm in icon deficit here."
Doug chuckled. "Yeah, between the bathrobe icon, and those gray silk pajamas...well, let's just say that that particular icon makes me want to get up and run over to her room to do things that aren't fit for polite company." He chuckled. "Am getting a little better about not being so embarassed in that regard."
"Good. I thought she was gonna smack you one for a while, there. Guilt-free drooling is one of the perks of having a girlfriend, you know."
Doug nodded enthusiastically. "She's been very helpful in educating me on that." He paused. "As a matter of fact, I think I may go see if she's nearly done packing, as I think most of her roommates are out of the room at the moment." He grinned wolfishly as he got up from his computer. "See you later, buddy."
Jamie laughed. "Feel free not to tell me all about it, man. And have fun."