Illyana and Kitty, Wednesday, lunchtime

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Kitty finds Illyana Wednesday around noon and they catch up on one another's more-or-less exciting summers.



Illyana sighed and sat up, rolling her shoulders uncomfortably to get the muscles moving again. There were times when lying on your bed contemplating your existence was useful, but today was clearly not one of those days; instead, she pushed her hair out of her eyes and swung her feet to the floor. Kitty was back, although she'd spent the night out of the room doing something probably nauseatingly nice and cute with Jamie, and Illyana thought that perhaps she could track her down. She stood, and heard footsteps in the hall; craned her neck to see who it was.

Kitty came bouncing down the hall, still absolutely thrilled to be back at the mansion. She saw the door to her room open; one of the girls must be in and all of them were on Kitty's 'must talk to' list.

"Hey," she called out as she spotted the long blonde hair of her best friend. "'Yana!"

Illyana couldn't help but smile. This, at least, was uncomplicated. "Hey," she said lightly, stepping forward. "You're back relatively intact from your mother's, I take it?" she added, slightly teasing.

Kitty laughed. "Yes, I seem to have escaped relatively unharmed, although it's too early to tell about any emotional scars. How about you? You don't seem to have pined away while I was gone."

"I don't really pine," Illyana said with a self-deprecating smile. "It's too much like angsting. Besides, I was busy getting kidnapped to Asgard and fighting the forces of evil. Or something like that, anyway."

"Yeah, Asgard." Kitty grinned. "How was that? One of those random living-in-the-mansion insanities I suspect I was lucky to miss out on."

"Asgard," Illyana said after a moment spent thinking of the best way to put it, "was bloody cold most of the time, except when it was more of an inconvenience to be hot, and had very irritating gods. One of whom bound me into her service -- Hel, as it happens. Goddess of the underworld." She shot Kitty a sardonic glance, then smiled a bit tiredly and shook her head. "You are lucky you missed it. No indoor plumbing. Bloody awful place, really."

"Ah," Kitty said slowly. "How does one go about making a goddess pay for harrassing one's roomate?" Kitty was dead serious - the idea of anyone doing that to Illyana again made her blood boil.

"One doesn't," Illyana said, voice light even though she, too, was dead serious. "One would not do well to piss off a goddess, especially one who has no problem killing insignificant humans painfully." She smiled again, this time somewhat triumphantly; the thrill of having been able to shake off Hel's bonds was still in basically full effect. "Besides, I did get away. And saved some dwarf friends of Jamie's, too."

Kitty's eyes flashed but she nodded. "I understand, I guess, and I'm very glad you got away. I'm just sorry you had to go through it in the first place."

"Yeah." Illyana said, swallowing bitterness in an attempt not to appear flustered by the conversation. She hadn't discussed this with practically anyone after coming back. "Well, what happens happens, I guess. I lived." She tried to brighten up, not sound so depressed (or depressing). "And that makes my track record pretty damn good, doesn't it?"

"Damn good thing you did, because I still don't know how to get revenge on a goddess." Kitty could tell (maybe it was roommate sense) that 'Yana didn't like the conversation so she changed the subject. "Sounds like your break was far more eventful than mine, anyway."

"I don't know about that," Illyana said, with a brief teasing grin. "I mean, Jamie told me you went camping with your mother and other crazy women. Is it true what he said about skinny-dipping with them? Because that's pretty eventful, I should think."

Kitty laughed and then mock shuddered. "It's true she tried to get me to go swiming with them. I told her I was allergic to water and would endeavour to drown myself if she didn't drop the subject."

Illyana laughed. "Now that's what I call emotionally scarring," she said, amused. "At least you got out of it." She paused thoughtfully. "I ended up underwater once in Asgard, though. Miss Blaire threw me into a lake."

Kitty blinked. "Well, she does like doing that to people, but... why did Al throw you in the lake?"

Illyana didn't have quite enough grace to look sheepish. "I might have pointed out a few key facts to her," she hedged, attempting to look pious and innocent and failing spectacularly. "About . . . you know, the passage of time. Things like that."

Kitty's eyes narrowed as a suspicion entered her mind and a little smile creapt onto her face. "You weren't talking about time dilation in alternate dimensions, were you?" It wasn't really a question.

Illyana strove harder to look innocent. "Not precisely," she said. "But Miss Blaire is awfully sensitive, for someone so -- mature."

At that Kitty snorted. "You called her 'mature' to her face, didn't you."

"Maybe a little," Illyana admitted, grinning. "But she threw vegetables at me. Among other things."

"Among other things?" Kitty asked with an arched eyebrow. "Really, I think you got off lucky just ending up in the lake. She's tossed people out of windows for less."

"No windows in Asgard, thank God. At least, no handy ones. I think it's her age," Illyana added airily. "Makes her cranky. And mean. But I still say she started it."

"I'll bite, how did she start it?"

Illyana looked shifty; she didn't really want to share the nice story of how Alison had embarrassed her as she was breaking men's fingers. "She threw vegetables at me," the blonde said, still shifty. "For no good reason."

Again Kitty arched a brow. "Come off it, 'Yana, I know you better than that. If there's something you don't want to tell me you can just say that. I won't pry - you're my best friend."

A longsuffering expression crossed Illyana’s face. "But I come out of this sounding much better if you don't know," she said, with the grace to look at least slightly embarrassed. "Well -- the short of it is that I was kind of running a sort of errand for Hel, and it happened to be the kind of thing Alison didn't approve of that much. And she dragged me out by my ear."

Kitty smiled. "I'm your roommate - I know you're no saint." She listened as 'Yana finally told more of the story. "And that's when al started throwing veggies?" Kitty asked.

"From then on," Illyana said, managing to look hard-done-by, even though her eyes were highly amused. "It wasn't my fault she was cranky because she couldn't talk. I had to fill the silence somehow."

"And you figured dispariging remarks about her age were the way to go?" Kitty grinned. "Why couldn't she talk?"

Illyana grinned back. "Well, I was bored, and it was kind of funny. She got cursed," she added. "The Enchantress did it. Can't imagine why. It didn't stick." She looked somewhat mournful.

At that Kitty laughed. "I still don't get why you don't get on with Al, but at least she didn't do any real damage with the veggies."

"Realistically, how many people can I be expected to get along with?" Illyana asked lightly. She was not bitter. Oh no. "I mean, I am the embodiment of pure evil, surpassed by none. And according to some not even actually myself, just a clever duplicate. I think I'm entitled to be unpersonable."

Kitty nodded. "Speaking of which, how is your idiot brother? And how the hell did all that start, anyway? I seriously missed something this summer."

"I wouldn't know, as my idiot brother hasn't spoken to me since July," Illyana said, voice strung taut. "Apparently he had a chat with someone who suggested just that -- that I'm not his sister." She shot Kitty a disbelieving look, adding, "This despite the DNA tests they ran about thirty times in March. I swear to every god there is, he's dumber than
a brick."

"Who the fuck would say something so stupid?" Kitty asked, angry at whoever was giving Illyana hell. Like she needed more of that in her life. "And you're right about the brick thing," she added.

"I have an idea of who it was, but without proof, who gives a damn?" Illyana shrugged. "'Course I'm right." She sighed. "Anyway, it's probably easier for him like this. He was never good at hard problems." That was a thought she'd never expressed before -- but it slipped out before she could censor herself.

“Yeah, but why would someone even say something like that? It's just...stupid." She frowned at 'Yana's last comment. "What do you mean?"

"Because people are very stupid creatures most of the time, and it's unsurprising, really, what with all the supposed magic-users hopping around." She looked at her hands. "I just mean, if he wants to avoid the problem, I am more than willing to let him make a fool of himself. That's all."

"All the 'supposed magic users'...?" Kitty trailed off, mind working overtime. "You're probably right about Piotr," she said suddenly. "God knows chasing after him has never done anyone any good."

Illyana glanced up at Kitty, then smiled -- a little sadly. "No, I guess it hasn't," she murmured. She looked down at her hands, then shrugged, smiling again, self-deprecatingly. "But then I don't have the energy to try, so he's out of luck. Really, I'm much more amusing than any of the -- people he hangs around." It was a sort of pathetic defense mechanism, but she seemed to straighten as she said it, regaining her sense of control over a situation she'd practically engineered in the first place.

"I certainly think so," Kitty agreed. "But then, you're one of my favorite people." Grinning, she changed the subject. "So what else is new in the madhouse? Any new inmates I should know about?"

Relieved, Illyana smiled and said, "New librarian. Shan or something -- she's. Um. Well, she seems nice, I guess. And a new doctor-in-training, Cecilia. I think you'll like her." She paused, thinking. "Oh, that Haroun guy came back and has been floating around doing something useful, I think. Some famous gay Canadian, Jean-Paul or something, he's got this spoiled cat, and a cat-man whose name I forget. Kylie or something. Right, Terry's dad showed up, too, which she wasn't that pleased over."

Kitty blinked. "So it's been busy, is what you're saying. I spotted the thing about Terry's dad. You're right, she wouldn't have been pleased."

Illyana smiled. "Busy, but business as usual, I'm afraid. In between the brainwashing, magical kidnappings, angst, drama, and explosions, I'd say it's been awfully normal around here."

"Oh dear," Kitty mock gasped. "We've gone from bizzare to predictably strange, haven't we? Soon we'll be delightfully wacky and they'll turn All My Mutant Children from a soap into a sitcom. Something must be done."

Illyana laughed. "No chance of that. I'm sure just saying it jinxed it -- now we'll get aliens just to keep us on our toes."

"Well yes, we've clearly already done the fantasy novel thing with you guy's trip to Asgard, so it probably is about time for the aliens. Must get our scifi in as well."

"This is true," Illyana agreed. "We've done soap opera, too. Did anyone tell you about how Jubes broke her arm?"

Kitty blinked. "No, no one has. I assumed it was in the usual way?" she asked, looking curious.

Illyana rolled her eyes. "Oh, no, that would be easy. Instead, she and Amanda had a fight, and Amanda somehow managed to break Jubes' arm. And her nose, and some furniture," she added, sounding irritated. "And yet I'm the bad witch."

Kitty`s eyes narrowed again. "Amanda did... Good God. Do you know what started it?"

"Apparently Jubilee slept with Manuel," Illyana said, sighing. "Which makes clear that her bad taste extends past clothing, but doesn't call for the violence, I shouldn't think."

"She WHAT?" Kitty`s eyebrows shot up. "Is she INSANE? Don`t answer that," she said quickly, "I already know the answer. Oh good God... The hell was she thinking?"

"Don't ask me. It's not like I even speak Jubilee's language, let alone understand what goes on in her head, if anything." Illyana tugged at the hem of her t-shirt in annoyance, trying to find the right words to describe the situation. "It was ridiculous, and is still pretty bloody ridiculous, if you ask me."

"I can speak her language, but I still have no clue what she`s thinking half the time anymore. God, I need to talk to her..."

"I think she'd like that," Illyana said, nodding. "I imagine she's a bit short on friendly company, or at least non-moralizing company in any case."

"Can`t promise there will be no moralizing, but certainly not much. Manuel?" she asked, shaking her head slightly. "Manuel?"

Illyana made a face. "I know. On the list of men she could have seduced... why him? Highly bad taste. Perhaps she'd eaten a bad corn dog or something beforehand, and it altered her judgment."

"Heh. That`d do it," Kitty said with a sigh. "And, because this is the Mansion and nothing can happen wihtout everyone else chiming in, I take it half of the students are up in arms?"

"Of course," Illyana said, amused. "Though it's mostly the usual 'It was her/his/its fault!' stuff that really gets on my nerves. You know, 'cause nobody can just shut up." She paused, looked thoughtful. "Including me. But at least I'm attractive while I do it." She grinned.

"I don`t think we should let that go as an adequate excuse, esspecially given this lot. Given the number of students and staff who could probably make it as professional models, I think the bickering would just get worse if we said being pretty was an excuse for it."

"Never an excuse," Illyana said airily. "Even though most of them could never use it. But you have to admit, it's easier when I'm pretty about it than if I was ugly."

"Now, see, if I were of a moralizing turn of mind I`d say something about inner beauty and not being nasty to people, but I`m not," Kitty grinned. "You wouldn`t be you, I think, if you were any different."

"I have selective hearing, anyway," Illyana said lightly, adoping an innocent expression that the humour in her eyes totally belied. "Moralizing doesn't get through. Saves me a lot of suffering, let me tell you. Besides, don't people hire psychologists to tell them they're beautiful on the inside, nobody's looking at their nose anyway?"

Kitty snickered. "Yes, well, if I had been going to say something like that I would have saved you a lot of money, then wouldn`t I? Of course, they also go to shrinks to work on their self esteem and you don`t need that one."

"Why, Kitty Pryde, are you accusing me of having an ego?"

"Perish the thought. I`d sooner tell Jubes she had bad taste."