Monday Night, sometime after convincing Ali to hold a concert

[x-polarisstar.livejournal.com]

Warnings: Summers=angst. Lorna/Alex=high cute factor.



Lorna ran shrieking into Alex's room and threw herself into his lap. "Oh my god! Ali's going to give the school a concert!" She kissed him exuberantly. "Isn't it fantastic?"

Alex started suddenly, eyes wide like a startled deer, as he looked from his homework to the shrieking Lorna on his lap. "Umm...I guess." He was still a bit shocked to formulate a better answer.

"It's been so long and I could tell she really wanted to and it's all for us, for the school..." Lorna continued to babble senselessly about how exciting it all is then very suddenly burst into tears.

He just sort of stared at her for a moment, amazed how quickly she can go from babbling happily to crying. Wrapping his arms around her, he asked quietly, "Lorna, are you alright?"

She nodded and wiped at her cheeks, "I'm okay, I'm okay. It's just that...god, it's all so screwed up. Alison is giving a concert to us and do you know what the guy asked her? If it was a comeback. A comeback..." she repeated incredulously, "but she can't. Because the whole world knows she's a mutant." She began to calm down.

Alex smiled softly at Lorna's concern for her roommate and kissed her gently on the forehead. "I think that's something that Alison will have to decide later. You never know, things change."

Lorna smiled at him, "I'm sorry. I'm such a wreck bursting in on you like this. It was just...such a thing." She shook her head, "You should have seen her. She was like...like her lightshows. But without any powers at all."

Alex flinched at the mentioning of powers, but managed to keep his smile. "I think we see that just about everyday. Alison could light up a room with just her personality." He kissed again more playfully. "Don't be sorry, it doesn't become you..."

"Oh, humility is good for the soul. Or so I'm told." She linked on her hands with his, partly from habit and partly because she felt the flinch, "I've never bought into it much." She kissed him back.

"I don't see you as the type for humility." He laughed softly, ignoring the pain in his hand as best he could, taking comfort in Lorna's closeness. "But then again, who is?"

"Oh, the Pope probably. And the Dalai Lama. But not poor mortals like us." She laid her head on his shoulder, "So it's up to you to keep me humble, I guess. Since I'm no good at it myself."

Alex couldn't help but laugh. "Keep you humble? Now that's going to be an interesting chore..."
Lorna nodded, "Possibly a full time job." she agreed seriously.

"Full time job? But I'm only 17, hardly old enough for a full time job. When would I go to school? Or skate? Or learn to play tennis?" He enjoyed teasing her and took the opportunity to untangle their hands.

Lorna pondered that, "I suppose you're right. Okay, part time then. And the world will have to suffer my arrogance in the in-between times" She hid her hurt as he pulled his hands from hers and covered the automatic reach for him by folding her hands in her lap.

"I think I can handle that." He grinned. Alex noticed her hurt at him taking his hands away, but they were bothering him. He rubbed them together to try and relieve the pain whilst smiling at Lorna. "So, besides helping Alison decide to have a concert, what have you been doing? And what is this about throwing forks?"

Lorna ran her hand through her hair, "I did not help. I merely badgered, bet and bedevilled her until she had no choice." She grinned, "All rumors of fork hurling are greatly exaggerated. I prefer spoons"

"Oh spoons then!" He grinned. "Should we call you the Green Raja then?"

"Grapefruit spoons. They have ridges. And not if you value your continued good health, my dearest."

Smiling, he kissed her on the nose. "If you insist love."

"Must I insist?" She mock-pouted, "can't I just say pretty please?"

"You can say whatever you want and I'd still do it." He sat back in his chair as best he could with her sitting on him, smiling.

She patted him on the head, "So very obedient. Are you sure you're a Summers? Or a teenager for that matter?"

"I'm a teenager in love with a gorgeous woman and I know if I ever wanna keep her, a little obedience, thought against my nature, is in order." He shrugged playfully. "As far as being a Summers, I can't fight the angst that seems to follow us everywhere. It's in hiding at the moment, waiting for the right time to strike!" He cracked one of his knuckles on accident and flinched slightly.

Lorna fought down a flinch of sympathy in return and continued to smile at him, "You're not going to lose me. Even if you're a bit free-willed." She ran her hand down his arm and let her fingers rest on the back of his hand, "And when the Summers angst comes to call, we'll meet it and send it packing."

He smiled softly, almost shivering from her touch on his arm. "Free-willed, it is then." He sat up again, grinning. "So I guess I don't have to ask permission to do this." Wrapping one hand gently around her waist and another behind her head, he kissed her a tad forcefully.

She was surprised for a moment then hummed in the back of her throat and returned the fervor. Her arms wound themselves around his neck and her fingers laced into his hair. She pulled back long enough to smile and murmur, "Definitely not."

"Good because I could get used to that... "He closed his eyes and rested their foreheads together. He sighed contently.

"Sounds good to me," she agreed, "sounds very good to me." She sighed as well and relaxed against him, then blinked. "You were studying before I rudely interrupted, weren't you?" She sounded slightly chagrined...but only slightly.

He smiled softly, opening his eyes. "If you calling staring at Physics book while zoning out studying, then yeah, that's exactly what I was doing."

"Physics, hmm?" She turned her head to look at his desk, "I've successfully dodged physics thus far." She grimaced, "But I think that time is come to an end."

He sat back again so she could look at his desk. "Physics is interesting thankfully, since I'm reading so much of it, outside of class as well as in." Alex couldn't help but raise an eyebrow. "How did you manage to dodge it until now?"

Lorna grinned, "Mad scheduling skills. All you need to graduate and enter a four year university is a life science and a physical science. I just made sure that mine were never in the direction of Physics."

Alex laughed. "Lucky you. I took Physics in Hawaii, but figured it couldn't hurt to take it again here, you know, to figure out what's going on with my hands and stuff." He shrugged. "Hasn't helped yet."

"I think my Physics-free run is over. It'll be on my course schedule come fall semester. Who knows, maybe between the two of us we can come up with something?" She smiled, "Two heads are better than one and all that."

"I guess..." His mood got all gloomy as he stared at one of his hands. Alex looked up at her through the blonde hair that was falling in his face. "Can we talk about something else?"

Lorna started to nod then frowned, "Alex, this... I... we always talk about something else. We always change this subject," she sighed, "and I don't think that this time we should.

He sighed softly. "I wondered how long you would put up with me changing the subject. Sometimes I wished it would go on forever, while others I wished you wouldn't let me." He smiled softly. "I don't know which I feel at the moment though."

Her answering smile was a bit rueful, "I wish I could have left it alone. I thought you'd talk to Scott or Betsy or someone who could deal with this but," she shrugged one shoulder, "you haven't. And I can't watch you go through this by yourself."

Alex sighed and squirmed a bit under her. "Scott and Betsy have been so busy, Betsy even more so with Scott gone off on some random mission." He looked up at her. "To tell you the truth, I think I've almost forgotten how to ask for help..."

"Well, then I'm asking for you." She brushed his hair out of his eyes and looked at him seriously, "Please talk to me. Even if I can't do anything, at the very least, talk to me."

"Alright." He said it very quietly, afraid of where this was going to led, but realized deep down he had to do this, for his own sanity. "Where do you want to start?"

"Tell me what happened in Hawaii. Tell me what you're going through."

Alex bit his lip and carefully took her hands in his, as if looking for support. "Are you sure? You probably won't like what you hear."

She held his hands gently, "You had to live through it; I think the least I can do is hear it."

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. I can do this...he thought to himself then slowly let him self speak.

"I was getting off my shift as a lifeguard and was going to meet some of my surfing friends at a beach side drink bar so we could do some surfing later. The beach was crowded that day, full of people on vacation, enjoying the sun.

"Suddenly, my hands began to burn as if they were on fire and I dropped to my knees from the pain. Before I knew it, energy was shooting everywhere from my hands. It was just flowing out of me, there was no way I could control it and it hurt like hell.

"When it was over I black out. Luckily, though I didn't know at the time, my friend who has replaced me as a life guard was also a mutant and was able to get me out of there and to his home. It was his parents who called Xavier and helped get me here."

Before his voice was emotionless but now he couldn't keep the pain from his voice. "They tried to keep it from me when I woke up a few days later...but I found out. 8 people died on the spot...5 more died of injuries in the hospital and that doesn't count all the people that were seriously injured. Only because I didn't have any control...

"When Jono blew up on Friday...it was only a reminder of what had happened and that it will happen again." Now he looked up, tears in the corner of his eyes. "I don't think I could live with myself if I hurt anyone here..."

Lorna had gone pale as Alex had told his story. She drew in a long shaking breath and tried to control the shaking of her hands, "Alex, I... God. I'm so sorry." She shook her head, "You must have been so scared."

Alex could only nod. "It was terrifying. Now you know why I'm afraid of my powers...especially now when my hands are hurting all the time, not as much as when i blew up, but enough..." He wiped the tears from his eyes, looking down again. "I'm still scared..."

"I'm scared too," she admitted. Lorna looked down at their linked hands and blinked back tears of her own. She lifted one of his hands and kissed the back of it, "But I also think that there isn't a better place for you to be. There isn't anywhere else in the world where you can learn control. And there aren't any better people to help you learn it or to keep you and others safe while you do.

"Ali was able to shield Jono. Piotr was able to take the blast too. Kurt can get the hell out of there and Kitty can't be touched. Where else are you going to find a bunch like that?"

The first thing that sprang to Alex's mind was What about you? but that was to painful to even think about. "I know, Scott told me just as much when I got here, though he doesn't know the killing people part. It's just, it's hard not feeling scared about something like this, even when you know everything will be alright...because if that one little thing went wrong..."

The thought had crossed her mind as well but she'd chased it out resolutely, "You have every right to be scared. It's a scary thing. But that's why we have to work on controlling it. You can't do it alone and you shouldn't." She took a deep breath, "You need to tell Scott. Everything. You need to tell him that your hands are hurting. In the meantime, you should talk to someone else. Ororo or Emma maybe. They don't have nearly as much on their plates as Betsy does and both of them would understand.

"This doesn't have to be impossible. And I'll be here with you the whole way."

Alex sighed, with relief this time. Of all the things he was afraid of, losing her had been up there. Way up there. "I know and I will tell Scott when he gets back. If anyone can help, I guess he is the best... I'll also try and find Emma, Ms, Munroe scares me." He smiled slowly. "Thank you."

Lorna smiled, "What kind of girlfriend would I be if I didn't pester you to change yourself?" Then she leaned forward and hugged him tightly, "Don't shut me out. I can't bear it. If I can help, at all, just tell me."

He hugged her back. "I'll try not to, just sometimes it seems like it's the easiest way out, especially when you're used to dealing things on your own..." Alex smiled. "I love you."

"I love you, too. You're not on your own anymore," she said fiercely, "and you don't ever have to be."

"I'll try to remember that..." This time he went in for the kiss.

Lorna kissed him back with a quiet desperation. Though she meant every word, she could not completely shake the leaden sensation that had settled in her heart when he had told her of the deaths. Even as her hands sought his again, a persistent mantra ran through her head, don't let him know, don't let him know...

Alex sensed something, but put it off to everything he had just told her. He had to admit, he did feel a bit better now, though he wouldn't feel better about the situation until he talked to Scott. Telling Lorna was one thing, telling Scott was another...thinking about that was enough not to notice Lorna's slight unease.

"Alex?" Lorna pulled back enough to look into his face, "You know that it wasn't your fault, right?"

He swallowed suddenly at the question and looked down. "Yeah, I guess..."

"Don't guess. Know. It wasn't your fault. There was nothing you could have done. You have to believe that."

But there was something I could have done, I should have been able to control it... "It wasn't my fault..." he repeated softly.

"Please believe that," she pleaded, "these things that we can do...none of us are at fault when they come to us. We're as helpless as children. It takes time to learn better."

"I know that..." He sighed, "It'll sink in eventually I'm sure, just give me some time....please?"

"This isn't about me giving you time. I'll always be here for you, no matter what. You need to believe it for yourself," she closed her eyes against the memories that insisted she make him understand, "because in the end, you're the only one whose opinion counts."

Alex looked down. He hated upsetting her, especially since he knew she was trying to help him. "I know...and I do believe it, it's just buried under the fear of myself...and..." He looked at one of his hands wrapped in hers. "I'll figure everything out eventually."

She kissed his forehead, "I know you will."