xp_logs | Walk this way... (Reply)

Wednesday after classes. In which Kitty and Marie go for a walk in the woods.

Kitty: *knocks* Hey, you in there?
Rogue: Mmph. Yeah. *thump* Oops. Come on in.
Kitty: *opens door, looks around and smiles*
Rogue: *retrieving a book from the floor, she looks up, smiling* Hey. Walk time?
Kitty: *nod* Yeah. Just finished for the day.
Rogue: How you doing? *she grabs her shoes and pulls them on, tying them up as she talks* Everything good?
Kitty: *shrugs* Well enough, I guess. Classes and what not...
Kitty: but you probably weren't talking about that...
Rogue: Nope. *she stands up, tugging at her gloves -- pale suede this time* Was talking about other stuff. *she gives a 'been there done that' smile and shrug* Need a snack before we go?
Kitty: *reaches into pockets and pulls out a pair of apples* Want one?
Kitty: *grins*
Rogue: Smart girl. *she holds out a hand for one* But we knew that, eh? Let's go.
Kitty: *hands it over* I figured we could go get lost up in the woods.
Rogue: Sounds like a plan. *she takes a bite and waits for Kitty to leave before closing the door behind them* You've been busy lately and I have been paying, like *no* attention to the new people. Got anything good?
Kitty: Well, *bites into apple and chews thoughtfully*. Jamie's a sweetie, and Jono's a bit touchy... Ev's awfully nice, and very agreeable it seems. Rahne, the one we went to get, is real nice but seems a little on edge.
Kitty: I haven't gotten to spend any time with your new roommate, but you seem to be dgetting along ok, right?
Rogue: *Rogue nods* Yeah. She's pretty easy to get on with. Unpretentious and unangsty. I think I"ll keep her. Now... you. What's up with you?
Kitty: *shrugs as they get down to the main enterance and holds the door for Rogue* I guess I've just been... well, dealing...
Kitty: my world gets turned on it's head, then turned back over with a few key componetns missing...
Kitty: and we all just go on.
Rogue: Intellectualizing, eh? *she steps out into the sun* How's that working for you?
Kitty: *shrug* About as well as it always does.
Kitty: That is to say, not that well...
Rogue: *Rogue nods* Yeah. I hear you. Want to tell me about it? I have some big time listening karma to make up, so, you'd be doing me a favour by talking.
Kitty: *smiles* sure. It's probably time I got it off my chest anyway...
Kitty: but where to begin *starts heading down one of the paths to the forest*
Rogue: *Rogue follows her* Start anywhere. It'll all lead you to the important places in the end.
Kitty: I guess it all starts with Terry's scream, huh... I mean, that was the beginning of all of this from my viewpoint.
Kitty: Do you know how close I came to ending up like Jubes? Just carted off... powers or no.
Rogue: *she shakes her head* No, I don't, but I can imagine.
Kitty: When Terry woke me up there was some guy standing over my bed... I heard the gun go off as I phased... *bites at lip*
Rogue: *Rogue reaches out to rub her shoulder gently as they walk* Scary stuff, sweetie.
Kitty: Yeah... *takes another bite of apple and stares at the ground while she chews*
Kitty: Ever since then...
Kitty: Well, Terry's still having nightmares sometimes. A lot of us are...
Kitty: but every time someone screams I phase. I can't control it, at all.
Kitty: Rahne did it at the airport and I phased and dropped her suitcase.
Kitty: *kicks at a branch*
Rogue: *Rogue sighs* Oh, hon. It'll pass, you know. *reachs out to give Kitty a one-armed hug* I'd be the same way. I bet you always felt a little invincible before...
Kitty: Invincible... heh yeah. You're not kidding.
Kitty: It's pretty easy to feel like that when no body can touch you when you don't want them too...
Rogue: And now you know it's not true... not all the time. *she nods* I can see why that would be rough. And here, in our safe place, too. I wish I knew the right things to say to fix it, but I don't know if there is anything but time to make it better. Are you taking Logan's hand-to-hand class?
Kitty: *nods* yeah. Even before this all happened I wanted to learn how to fight.
Kitty: It always felt like a kind of useless power...
Kitty: like I couldn't help anyone else, just myself.
Rogue: And now?
Kitty: Well... I got to help the Professor find thoes documents. Nobody else could have gotten in there and found all that stuff maybe... so I guess it's a useful thing.
Kitty: Sneaking and spying and running away. Me all over.
Kitty: *scowls and bites at apple*
Kitty: *then laughs*
Kitty: I sound like Gollum from Lord of the Rings...
Rogue: *she smiles* Not quite... not hissy enough. Kitty, what you can do, it's good. Even what I can do can be good. It's all in how we use it. And how we use ourselves.
Kitty: *nods* When I'm being reasonable I know that. When I'm being all angsty and Dawson-like I forget sometimes...
Rogue: Going all Dawson on me, eh? *grins* We all do that sometimes. I think this is good. You should take yourself seriously, Kitty. Not too much so, but... you're going to be this very cool important person one of these days, with the skills you have, or you /can/ be, if you want to be.
Kitty: *grins back* Cool and important, eh? Sounds like a plan...
Kitty: *tucks hair behind ear and ducks under a branch*
Rogue: *ducks after her* Yeah. If you work at it. This... are you getting enough sleep?
Kitty: *walks along quietly for awhile, clearly thinking about something, munching on her apple*
Kitty: I sleep ok... when I'm not woken up...
Rogue: And how often are you woken up? *frowning*
Kitty: Well... it's not even been a week. Everybody's still all on edge.
Kitty: *glances at ground, clearly evading the question*
Rogue: Uhuh. Try harder. Aim for the truth this time. *looking serious*
Kitty: *glances back, then shrugs* I've probably gotten five hours or so a night...
Kitty: Which is more than I get when I'm studying for a test or pulling an all nighter writing papers...
Rogue: All nighters happen once in a while. This is almost a week, Kitty. Look, no lectures but if it goes on much longer, tell me, okay? Would you feel better sleeping somewhere else?
Kitty: *shakes head vigorously* No, no... I don't want to leave 'Yana... *it sounds like a last minute excuse*
Rogue: Kitty... *sighs* Sweetie. We can work something out. Tell me what would make you feel better.
Kitty: *glances down again* I really don't want to leave them. I just... I just need time I guess.
Rogue: It's not all your job to look after them, you know. You better learn to take care of you, or to let someone else do it, or you'll end up with hair like mine before you're 18, at the least. *catching up to put an arm around Kitty again* Hey... you may need time, but that's not all you need.
Kitty: *leans against her for a second and half shrugs* I'm ok during the day, really I am... I'm just... *sighs*
Kitty: *really quietly* I want John back... I want my world back...
Rogue: I know. *hugs her gently* I understand. Me too.
Kitty: *sniffles* One day... in one day I lost so much... and I didn't even get the chance to keep it from happening
Rogue: *stroking her hair* It was really awful for everyone. And you're right, not being able to /do/ anything made it that much worse, because it's like it could just happen again. It doesn't make any sense and it sucks.
Kitty: *nods and a hand drifts up to rub at her eyes. She's not crying, but it's close*
Kitty: I used to think... while I'm being honest here, I used to think the Professor could do anything. As long as he was around it'd all be ok.
Rogue: *nods and listens quietly*
Kitty: But he's the one who hurt us. He couldn't keep them from using him to attack us all, and he couldn't make John come home.
Kitty: And it hurt Rogue... *looks up, and there are definitely tears in her eyes*
Kitty: It hrut more than anything ever hurt...
Rogue: I know it did, sweetie. It was really bad.
Kitty: But that's the thing! Nothing's ever hurt me! Not in years... Iv'e never broken anything, no one's ever hit me, no one even CAN anymore...
Kitty: I'd kind of forgoten what pain felt like... *trails off*
Rogue: Ah... I see... yeah. I get it now. Oh, man. Look, I'm glad you told me. Maybe... You know, maybe you should talk to him about this.
Kitty: *bites at lip* I don't want to hurt him... And I think he _would_ be hurt...
Kitty: He's like a second father to me
Rogue: Sweetie... how much more hurt do you think he would be to know that you couldn't talk to him? *her face is very serious* Let him have a chance. Yeah, it's going to hurt him but he already knows he hurt us. He needs to get better too. You trusting him to help you is only going to help him.
Kitty: *snifs again* yeah...
Rogue: Look... hot iron and all... you want to go do it now? I mean, he must have felt really helpless being /made/ to do those things to us. It would probably be really good to bring this to him. Just tell him you need to talk about it, even if it's not now?
Kitty: *draws in a shaky breath* You're probably right... I know I ... Ah hell. That's just more prevaricating on my part. If I'm going to be all angsty and introspective I might as well actually do something about it, right?
Kitty: Ok, ok. I'll go talk to him... later.
Rogue: *grinning* You're a tough woman, Kitty. Later? Really?
Kitty: *nods* yeah, really. *holds up her fingers* Girl scouts promise.
Rogue: I'm gonna ask later, you know?
Kitty: *half smiles* Yeah, I figured you would...
Rogue: Well, I have to practice being a pain in the ass... keep in practice.
Kitty: *smiles at that* I know how hard you work at it, and we appreciate it, really we do.
Rogue: *laughing* Yeah, well, if you're good, you're good. Now... where were we?
Kitty: *takes another few bites of apple* Well, I think we'd just about finished exorcising all my demons and... *glances behind them* I'd say we're about a mile from the building, so it depends on what you were asking.
Rogue: Well, let's see.... personal demons, check. New students, check. How about the BBQ?
Kitty: *smiles* Going pretty well. Jamie seems really enthused, I mean, everybody does.
Kitty: I was really glad to hear we've got the van. :-)
Rogue: How many people have we got?
Kitty: um, well it sounds like all the new kids, including Kurt. I haven't heard from all the grad students, but Alison and Sam and Piotr are definitely coming... And I know Storm and Mr. Summers are coming.
Rogue: *giggles* Sorry... Mr Summers sounds so... old...
Kitty: Well, what do *you* call him?
Rogue: Er... Scott, usually, unless it's somewhere formalish.
Rogue: Never occurred to me...
Kitty: *eyes widen* Really? Wow... I don't know. He intimidtates me too much to call him Scott...
Rogue: He's a good guy. *shrugs* I worry sometimes that maybe he's a little lonely because he has that effect on people.
Kitty: *chews on apple, then tosses core out into the woods* I guess I can see that.
Rogue: I guess I don't think much about what I call people. *puzzles* I hope he doesn't think I'm disrespectful. I mean, I am, but not to him... only to them that deserve it.
Kitty: Yeah, but I probably think too much about what I call people, about what's right and proper...
Kitty: My parents were real big on it...
Rogue: *grins* Mine too. Somehow it got out of my head though.
Kitty: *smiles* Well, I'm impressed...
Rogue: Oh? *an arch look* How so?
Kitty: Well, it takes a lot of work to break parental conditioning... I was reading about it in this book on Jung. Things we're taught to do when we're little tend to stay with us, even when they're irrational
Rogue: Oh... *laughing* Well, I think once I got Logan in my head, he just kicked most of my good manners right out. I blame him.
Kitty: *grins* Well, yeah. That'd do it too.
Rogue: I mean, it's not like he didn't bring a hella lot of irrational with him, though. *she winks*
Kitty: *laughs* An irrational desire to go stalking after things, huh? *she gestures aroudn the woods with a grin* Hunting small fuzzy things maybe?
Rogue: *giggling* Something like that, but it only lasts a few minutes, really.
Kitty: Well, should I take you away from all this tempting greenery, or are you safe to travel with?
Rogue: I'm safe. I'm good. *grins* So what did you want to serve for the BBQ?
Kitty: Well, so far it looks like burgers and dogs, chicken and smoked salmon, fruit, potato, and normal salad, cookies and brownies, french fries, and I intend to find watermelon *somewhere* come hell or high water
Rogue: Hmm, wonder if we could get some corn on the cob... I know we can find watermelon.
Kitty: oh, yeah! I'd forgotten the Corn. Jamie says he's willing to grill it.
Kitty: I've got the list up near my 'puter, I just tend to forget when I'm trying to remember...
Kitty: hence the needing to write it down
Rogue: *grins* You're so smart. See, I make it up as I go along.
Kitty: Yep, that's me. Girl Genius extrodinare... Except where it comes to lit.
Rogue: Ah, excellent segue... Storm mentioned that you might like some help there.
Kitty: *blinks* Did she? Oh, I knew I did badly on that test...
Rogue: Ah, we were just talking today. I think she was trying to cheer me up. *winks* Give me something important to do and all. Did you want some help?
Kitty: Oh, yes please! *looks imporing* I just don't understand it! I mean, how am _I_ supposed to know what the author meant when half the time I'm not even sure _he_ knew what he meant.
Rogue: *laughing* Ah, that's the fun of it. We can work on some of it together. Maybe Storm will let me throw something together for you for a few extra marks, eh?
Kitty: *smiles* That'd be great.
Rogue: No problem. It's good. *grins*
Kitty: And hey, any time you need help in phys or chem, or just somebody to beat a computer into submision, I'm totally available...
Rogue: Ugh. Chem... let's not go there. Not on this nice walk.
Kitty: *laughs* Ok, I promise not to bring up acids and bases.
Rogue: All my base are belong to chemistry... *she puts her hands in her pockets and sighs deeply* Chemistry of any sort is not my friend.
Kitty: *laughs* well, the offer stands, should you need it.
Rogue: I'll take you up on it, so I don't fail. You doing any better now? *she looks over at Kitty* You know, I could come stay in your room, or you and 'Yana could sleep over with me and Sarah, if you needed.
Kitty: *smiles* yeah, I am feeling better. Thank you