Jubilee and Angelo log

[x-jubilee.livejournal.com]

Backdated to: Saturday 20th November 2004 Time:8pm

Who is involved: Angelo and Jubilee

What happens?: Jubilee and Angelo meet in the gym where she is kicking the crap out of the bag. (Poor Bag) They get into an arguement on the details of consequences and responsibility.





Jubilee steadied the punching bag and aimed a side kick at it again, this time a lower one that would have taken someone at the knee had it been a person and not a bag. Today was not a good day, she was still feeling horrible from what had happened with Alison and right now with one of her arms out of commission, the only training she could do was kicks. She focussed, aiming a higher kick at the bag, this time one that would take someone in the side.

Angelo had had a similar idea, since he usually found the punch bags to be a good way to work out his temper when it was running high. He'd come down at this particular time expecting the gym to be empty, so he wasn't entirely pleased to find that it wasn't, and especially that Jubilee was the other person there. He paused for a moment, then decided he wasn't going to leave just because she was there, and continued into the room.

Jubilee paused in her kicking, reaching up to wipe a small sheen of sweat from her forehead as she noted that someone had entered the room. She turned, noting Angelo's presence and then completely ignoring him, started up on the bag again. She didn't want to talk to anyone right now, and she certainly wasn't in the mood for sharing. He could just come back when she wasn't using the bag.

Angelo, as it happened, wasn't going anywhere, though he was perfectly happy to ignore her for now. There was more than one punch bag in the room, after all, so he just moved towards one of the spare ones, stopping nearby to do a short series of stretches.

Was completely ignoring him childish? She supposed it was. Especially since he was right there. She sighed, and stepped back from the bag. "Angelo." she acknowledged.

He tilted his head in acknowledgment, not breaking off from his stretches, and matched her cool tone. "Jubilee."

Should she start a conversation? She was still angry at him for the conversation in Clarice's journal. Especially considering Amanda had seemed fine to talk to her if it meant a chance to snipe but Jubilee was sure that Amanda wouldn't give her the time of day if she tried to actually patch things up. It was frustrating and she was tired. She aimed another kick at the bag, this one a lot more forceful then the last, causing it to swing to the side.

"How's life?" she asked, aiming a kick higher on the bag.

He finished his stretches and stepped forward, beginning a steady rhythm of punches. "Well, you know. My suitemate's a cloud of psionic energy, an' half my friends are runnin' themselves into the ground with worry over one thing or another. Life's just dandy." He chose not to mention the situation with Paige. Unless Paige chose to tell her, it was none of Jubilee's business.

"You're not helping him, you know." Jubilee said, doing a standard kick/punch combo with her good arm. "The more you wail about how he's just a glowing ball of psionic energy, the more he's going to feel like crap. You think he wants his friends treating him like what he is now is the end of the world? Cause, Dude, I know it'd piss me off." She started in on side kicks, leaning back slightly and twisting the foot she was balancing on to the side as she chambered the kick and then flicked her leg outward.

"Like, what's so bad, anyway? Yeah, he's a ball of light but he's still alive and he can get better."

He turned to look at her incredulously. "Where do you get off tellin' any of us how to feel, Jubilee? Yeah, okay, so this isn't the worst outcome that could've happened. But you go tell Paige it's not so bad. See how she takes it. I wouldn't say any of this to him, an' I'd be doin' my best to not think it around him, either."

Jubilee snorted. "Where do I get off? Please, save me the indignant speech. I'm saying something you don't like hearing, so you react by tellin' me I have no right to say it. Truth is, maybe you need to stop coddling the guy and falling over yourselves being all dramatically tragic. He's alive, which is better then being dead. And he will get better. The fact that you don't believe that, well, maybe you should think on that, hey? And maybe Paige does need to be told it's not that bad. Maybe, what she really needs right now is people to stop treating her like she's made of fucking glass and actually help her. But hey, it's much easier to just say useless little platitudes and pat someone on the back, isn't it?"

She was being cruel and she knew it. But he'd caught her in a foul mood and she was sick of being told she was whiney when other people did exactly the same thing and just got a pat on the head. Besides that, the pain killers had worn off and her shoulder was aching like crazy. She'd probably overdone it with the workout, to be honest. She just hoped she hadn't pulled any of the stitches, she didn't want Maddy giving her a look.

Angelo stopped his workout and turned towards her very deliberately. "When did I say I didn't believe he'd get better? With time, maybe he will. An' maybe he won't. Nobody knows that yet. An' what qualifies you to say what Paige does or doesn't need? When your way of helpin' shows any sign of makin' things better for her, then you get to say it's the only possible way to deal with things. Until then, shut the hell up." He squashed down the little voice that was telling him, yes, he'd helped Paige so much...

Jubilee smiled bitterly. "You know, you might want to think about my history a bit before you go around making stupid statements, Angelo. But whatever."

She turned her back on him, deliberately ignoring him as she pulled her shirt aside and examined the bandages on her shoulder. There didn't appear to be any spots of blood, Thank God. Another trip to Medlab right now was so not what she needed. Remorse tickled at her mind as she remembered. She sighed as she realised she was doing the same thing to Angelo, being a bitch because she was angry about something else.

She sighed, and turned back to him. "Look, you caught me in a foul mood, okay? I'm sorry I'm bein' a bitch. It's just that I remember how it was for me. There were all these people that treated me like they had some kinda ownership of my grief. Like they got to choose how I felt about things. And if I didn't feel that way, I was damaged. Was fuckin' annoying. I'm just tired of seein' people going on about how awful it must be. I mean, have they asked either of them, even? Seems stupid to assume things and wail to the moon without even askin' them how they feel."

Angelo looked at her steadily, staying calm. "As it happens, I do know exactly how much Paige is hurtin' over all this. Jono I'm told is calmer about the whole thing. But Paige is... well. Not gonna quote what she said, that's not my place."

Jubilee shrugged and went back to practicing her kicks. "She didn't look like she was wantin' comforting pats on the back last time I saw her. Guess I assumed she was doin' okay from that. I ain't a mind reader, Angelo."

"You don't know her very well, do you?" he answered dryly, turning back to his own bag. "That's what Paige does, if she's not too close to breakin' to pretend anymore. She pretends everythin's okay - I think so she can maybe convince herself too."

"We've only been roommates for a little while, and well, we didn't talk much before that. She was Amanda's friend, so, you know. She's nice to me and I'd help if I could. I'm just not the comforting type. I don't go in for hugs and long talks." Jubilee replied, pausing in her workout as she steadied the bag.

Angelo scowled at the mention of Amanda, and his voice hardened as he changed the subject. "So you didn't talk to her before just because she was friends with Amanda? Funny, I don't remember that stoppin' you talkin' to, say, me. Or Manuel."

"You an Manny weren't her roommate, it's different when you're livin' with someone. You can't get away from anythin'." Jubilee replied. "It's different now."

"If you say so", Angelo said dismissively, turning back to his bag. "Not like either Paige or Amanda spent anywhere close to all their time in that room, though."

"Dude, you ever tried livin' with someone when you're fightin' with their best friend? Besides, wasn't like she and I had much chance to talk before she was livin' in the same room as me. Different circles, ya know? I'm gettin' to know her now, that's what counts." Jubilee replied, kicking at the bag again.

She was beginning to get angry again. Angelo's words had hit home a little, making her realise that she didn't often seek out people unless they were right in front of her. Still, she wasn't the type of person to be shy, it was just that she hadn't had a chance to get to know everyone here. That wasn't her fault...was it?

"Wouldn't call them best friends, either", Angelo pointed out. "Sure, they get on well, but I don't know that they've ever been that close. But, yeah, sure, gettin' to know her now's what counts." He didn't repeat his observation about Jubilee not knowing Paige very well.

She pulled back from the bag, stepping away from it and sitting on the ground to start warming down exercises. She looked over at him, her gaze curious. "So, why does your friends worrying affect you? What they choose to do is their choice, right? You can't exactly stop them from doing something they want to do."

He grinned wryly. "Because my friends worryin' seems to involve them not eatin' or sleepin', more often than not. I can't an' wouldn't want to stop them feelin' what they feel, but I can worry about them when they're hurtin' themselves over it. Not that I haven't done the same..."

Jubilee grunted slightly in acknowledgement, too busy stretching out to answer. Finally, she levered herself up into a sitting position. "Yeah, people 'round here do that a lot." He nodded. "Seems t'be the pattern of things. Clarice wasn't wrong to be worried about me an' Paige, I never said she was. She just put it the wrong way an' she was pushin' too hard, especially for Paige..."

"If you know what you're doin' is wrong, why do it? Why not do somethin' else, somethin' that wouldn't worry people that care about you?" Jubilee asked, turning sideways toward him as she stretched out her lower back.

"I do my best, Jubilee. If I can't sleep naturally without nightmares two nights in a row, I take the pills or the potion an' fix it so I at least sleep one night through in two. Hell, I even got Nathan to knock me out the other day, as an alternative. I just don't wanna get dependent on the pills, you understand?" He sighed. "It's not like I don't want to sleep. For, say, four days."

"Touché" Jubilee replied, smiling. "Nightmares don't get to me so much these days. Guess you can get used to anything if you have 'em long enough. Just, need a break every few days, so I don't sleep those nights. Long as I don't stretch it out more then two nights in every five, I'm doing okay. That time was a bit more special, nightmares were to new. Didn't know how to figure them in. But I know what you mean about the pills. Think I've had enough pain killers and sleepin' pills in the last few months to last me a lifetime."

He nodded and grinned wryly, commenting, "Yeah. Already got the nicotine, one addiction's enough for me. As for the not sleepin'... some nights it's more that it's broken sleep 'cause of the nightmares, some nights I just can't. At all. Usually go for a walk an' a smoke an' then try again, those nights, an' take the pills if nothin' else works. Or when I can't take the nightmares anymore an' I'm too short on sleep to go without."

"So, what do you dream of? The nightmares, I mean." she asked, curious.

Her mood still wasn't the best but she could play nice. It was easier then arguing anyhow and right now she was getting damned tired of arguments.

"LA, mostly", he answered, reluctant to go into too much detail. "There's a few things that happened there that keep comin' back. Some of it's more generalised, though. The fire thing's got kinda confused, with the one here an' the one there. In the dreams, they're pretty much the same. An' sometimes it's just fire in general."

"Ever talk to Samson about sleep therapy? Especially the fire stuff." Jubilee asked.

She had heard of treatments, although she hadn't particularly thought about asking Samson about them for herself until now. Something else to talk to him about, she supposed.

Angelo tilted his head. "Not as such - Samson tells me that as I get the issues out in the open, the nightmare'll stop. An' they do tend to come a lot less often 'cept when I've had a... reminder. Nathan's gonna teach me lucid dreamin', though, so that should help..."

She nodded, expression subtly changing as she remembered what his most recent reminder would have been. Sighing softly, she looked at him directly.

"I'm sorry about the club." she replied. He nodded back, face blank. "Yeah. Well. They'll pass this time, or get less often at least, just like they always did before. So apology accepted, I guess."

"Forgiveness really ain't an 'I guess' kinda thing, Dude. You don't have to forgive me though, you know. But I had to say I was sorry, so you knew that I was, even if that didn't change a thing. I'm not lookin' for a pat on the back here, or some kind of redemption. Know what happened was partly my fault, and I'm workin' on making sure I don't do anything like that again. So, I guess that's what I'm lettin' you know. That it won't happen again. Whether you keep talkin' to me, or walk away now, that's your choice. But don't tell me it's okay when it's not. Won't help me, or you." she said, her tone serious.

"It was partly your fault, yeah", he said flatly. "An' I know you were manipulated into doin' what you did, but you sought him out in the first place. An', to be honest, it's not okay, what you did. Maybe it will be, but right now it's not. 'Cause the consequences are still happenin', you know that? My nightmares, an' Beth's parents takin' her out of state, an' a whole lot of other stuff that's happened since Halloween, is all trackable back to that."

"Don't lay the blame for Beth leavin' at my door, Dude. If it hadn't been Halloween it woulda been somethin' else. The type of people that'd run from somethin' like the attack on the club, wouldn't have stuck around when somethin' else popped up." Jubilee replied, tone cold.

So Amanda had lost her fuck buddy, so what? Jubilee had never talked to the girl. She could accept the blame for Angelo's continued nightmares, but there was no way in hell she was going to accept Beth leaving as her fault.

"Fact is, though, Jubilee, it wasn't somethin' else", he retorted equally coldly. "Yeah, so maybe they would've run scared the next time somethin' bad happened involvin' Beth, if it did. Doesn't change the fact that the way things are, the blame lies at your door for that as much as for anythin' else connected with the demon." He didn't particularly care in that moment if he was being unfair - not that he believed he was - as the memory of Amanda sobbing her heart out on his shoulder over Beth's leaving was uppermost in his mind.

"Oh fucking, please. Save me the melodrama, Angelo. If she'd wanted to stay she'd have found a way. Not like Xavier hasn't taken in non-mutants before. She couldn't hack it, and that's the truth. Ain't me to blame for Amanda not bein' enough for her to stick around. Maybe, it had somethin' to do with the fact that Amanda already had a boyfriend, hey? Pity Amanda didn't think enough of Beth to choose there, either."

He stared at her in disbelief and rising anger. "She's fuckin' seventeen, Jubilee, an' she has a family to want to stay with! An' her parents were concerned about her safety because she associated with people from Xavier's! Columbia didn't help, but if you'd just face facts, that fuckin' demon was the final straw. You think they'd ever've agreed to her comin' to live here? An' the Professor wouldn't've taken her in without their agreement unless they were doin' her harm, which they weren't - they were tryin' to stop her gettin' hurt or killed. Think before you speak!" He turned away in disgust. "An' don't you dare say anythin' about what Amanda thought of Beth - you have no idea. Were you there, watchin' her cry after Beth told her she was leavin'? No, not that you'd've cared."

Jubilee smiled, but there was nothing nice or cheerful in it. "Oh, I'm thinkin', Angelo. I'm just not sayin' things you like. So her parents were concerned? Then if it hadn't been the demon, it would have been somethin' else. Not seein' my fault in that. But I guess it's easier to blame me, considerin' I'm right here and all. As to Amanda, boo fucking hoo. She's still got Manny. But I guess it's so fucking tragic she can't have her cake and eat it too. You know, it's always amazed me how people can jump down my throat about what I did with Manny but it was all flowers and tea when it came to Amanda screwin' around with Beth. So forgive me if I don't have much sympathy, considerin' I had to give up Manny and I don't have any other convient fuck buddies lying about."

Jubilee shrugged, the truth was, while the sex had been good, now she was done with it, she couldn't say she missed it. So, while she supposed she should feel sorry that Amanda had lost Beth. Considering it did seem to have upset her. There were bigger reasons to feel guilty where Amanda was concerned, though. The whole almost getting her sent to hell was one thing. Beth was unimportant in the grand scheme of things, least to her.

"Your fault in this, like I said, is because it wasn't somethin' else", he snapped back. "You can go on about what could have happened as long as you like, but me? I'm dealin' in what did happen here. An' on that score, it's one more thing you can add to your list of consequences. That's all I was gettin' at." After a pause, he continued, "An' while we're on the subject, Amanda an' Beth is just a little bit different to you an' Manny. Beth an' Amanda didn't get involved with Beth knowin' full well Manny hated her."

"And, let me repeat, for the small minded. Simply because a demon was summoned from hell with my blood does not automatically make everything that went with it my fault. Had Patches not been involved, no demon would have been summoned at all, since last time I looked, except for Asgard, I CAN'T DO MAGIC! And you know what, Angelo. If Amanda hadn't pissed off her little drug dealer, he never would have gone after her ANYWAY! But hey, don't blame her, she was just a victim...of her own weakness. Not my fault she's got such a fuckin' huge one." Jubilee replied, getting angrier by the second.

She shouldn't be doing this, she knew she shouldn't. But she was just sick and tired of it all. And Angelo just had the bad misfortune to be in place for her to rail at.

Angelo paused, then grinned at her dangerously. "Oh, 'cause of course Amanda was wrong to do somethin' about her addiction. Wrong to piss off her dealer by not needin' him anymore. Or would you've preferred her to stay a junkie? An' of course, I was forgettin', you know the whole story. Like how the last time Amanda dealt with Patches in a business sense, it was to get hold of an artefact to give her enough power to heal Nathan. Not to feed the addiction."

Jubilee's answering smile was just as dangerous and twice as cold. "You know, drug dealers aren't usually pissed when people stop usin'. More then enough clients ta go around, ya know? Ya said she got some artefact off him last time, for Nathan? Hmm, wonder how she paid for it, seems to me she probably didn't. Bet the stupid bitch threatened him, didn't she? Just the sort of thing to piss someone like Patches off, really. Ya see, he may be scum, an cowardly scum at that, but people like him, don't like people like her pointin' that out. So, ya know what? Save it with the poor innocent waif beats addiction crap, cause I ain't buyin' it. She's just as much of a junkie now then she's ever been, next fuckin' crisis and she'll be back on somethin'. Magic, booze, it's all the same. I'm surprised she ain't started beatin' on Manny yet but give her time."

It took just about everything Angelo had not to haul off and slap her just then. Instead, he took a moment to force the urge back down, and smiled ferally. "Know a lot of drug dealers, do you, Jubilee? Met a lot of them in your mall? Of course they're fuckin' pissed off when people stop usin', especially people who've been good customers in the past. An' I said that was the last time she dealt with Patches in a business sense. Business. As in, buyin' the Orb off him an' payin' the price. I don't know what the price was, an' I don't want to know, but she'd never have got it just by threatenin' him. For all Patches is, he's got better business sense than that. An' if you knew anythin' about addiction, Jubilee, serious addiction, you'd know you never really beat it. One day at a time is the best anyone can do."

"Angelo, I didn't spend all my time in the mall but if you knew anything about me, you'd know that. But no, I don't know any drug dealers personally, kinda proud of the fact, actually. Guess that takes me out of the cool kids club, not havin' an addiction to somethin'. Woe is me, I'm so very, very hurt that I can't come play your reindeer games. You know what, Angelo? Maybe you should know, instead of burying your head in the sand. You say she's your friend but you don't really wanna face what she's done, do you? I may not like her much but at least I would never cringe from her."

Jubilee popped her gum obnoxiously. "What would you do, Angelo, if your little witch girl hurt Paige cause of her addiction? What if she brought down some great fuckin' big bad on this school cause of it? Would you be defendin' her then? Truth is, it's all good and well to do somethin' because you think it'll have a good outcome but people don't much listen to that when the shit is hittin' the fan."

Jubilee walked past him without a backward glance, heading for the exit. She'd had enough and she didn't actually want to hurt Angelo. "The road to hell is paved with good intentions. One of the things I learnt recently. Funny how these little proverbs just come back ta ya, isn't it?" she threw over her shoulder.

Angelo stepped in her way, eyes hard. "I don't think we're done, Jubilee. The big bad's already come down, remember, an' it was as much to do with you as with Amanda's addiction. If not more. Now. You are goin' to sit down on those mats over there, you are goin' to shut the hell up, an' you are goin' to listen to me. Because I've got things to say."

She had a truly unforgivable urge right then, to simply light up her powers and tell him if he didn't get out of her way, she'd give him a reason to be afraid. It shocked her so badly that she was walking over and sitting down on the mat before she'd had time to get over it. She looked up at him, something dark showing in her eyes before it was gone. It left her feeling tired and she realised what she'd been saying. She shouldn't have said any of that, she'd been wanting to apologise to Angelo. She had a sudden thought that she'd blown a chance to really make things right with him.

He chose to remain standing, nodding to himself as he laid things out in his head before beginning to speak. His voice, though he was still clearly angry, was icy-blank and blunt.

"First. Good for you for stayin' away from the drug dealers and never gettin' yourself any addictions. But what that means is that you don't know how it works. So you really shouldn't be talkin' about it like you do. Just makes you look stupid, 'specially when you're talkin' to someone who does know.

"Second thing, an' this one you're not goin' to like. You have no right to Amanda's magic to heal those cuts. Your broken arm, sure, any other injury, you'd have the same right to have your healin' sped up as anyone else, but not for these. God forbid you should have to heal naturally, with nothin' more than regular - an' good - medical care, instead of expectin' someone you nearly got sent to hell to drain herself healin' the cuts you got because of it. Would've thought you'd see that as karma, since you're always talkin' about it. But no, you had to be whinin' about how Amanda wouldn't want to be in the same room with you. She can't refuse a direct request to be healed if she's got the power to do it, whoever it comes from, she's ethical like that. But since the cuts weren't gonna kill you, you shouldn't have asked, an' if she offered, you should've refused.

"Third. Do you really understand what would've happened to Amanda if the demon had won that night? Really an' completely?"

Jubilee's anger had begun to cool. She listened to what Angelo had to say, snorting at the first, looking up at him at the last.

"Angelo, I was with them when they went to get 'Yana out of Limbo, so yeah, I know. As to the first, since we're sharin' here. Let me tell ya a story, so you know just where I'm coming from. Second set of long term foster care I was in, my foster father lost his job. Don't know if he'd had a problem before. If he did, it wasn't somethin' that showed up in the books, else they wouldn't have been named as suitable foster types, I'm guessin'. Anyway, he started hittin' the bottle pretty damn hard. Wasn't long before he was takin' his problems out on me. And I'm not talkin' the nice, yellin' kinda way, I'm talkin' with fists. There wasn't even any pattern to it, nothin' I could do would make it stop."

She fiddled with the sling on her arm. "So, don't ask me to feel any kinda compassion for addicts, and don't think I don't know about 'em, just cause I've never been one. Amanda may not be violent about hers but maybe that's just cause she never had a chance to be. I don't know, I'll admit I ain't exactly her biggest fan, so it's probably not somethin' I should be sayin' anything about. But don't think, for even a second that what I'm sayin' makes me stupid. Cause it don't. Just experience speakin', that's all."

He nodded quietly. "An' all I'm sayin' is, give her the benefit of the doubt. The only time I know of that she's ever got physically violent in any serious way here, when she wasn't in the middle of a trauma panic attack, neither of you were innocent. An' as for the demon... tell me what you think would've happened to her, then."

Jubilee remembered what Dr Strange had shown her, and what she'd seen of Limbo. She remembered some of the vague references Illyana had made from time to time.

"It would have found a way to keep her alive, and then it would have started draining her. Over and over till there wasn't much left of her to think. She'd still be able to feel though, feel the power bein' ripped out of her. Feel her soul bein' corrupted by that place, no hope even for death. An eternity of that, with it usin' her as a battery. Yeah, Angelo. I know what it would have done." Jubilee replied, finally.

"Maybe not an eternity", he answered sombrely. "I'm not sure even the demon could've kept her alive longer than she would've lived normally, an' it's possible - if she was lucky - that the drainin' would've shortened that. But, yeah, that's about the size of it, an' you might be right about how long it would've lasted. Wanted to be sure you weren't thinkin' it'd just have been a nice quick death for her." He paused. "I've seen the drainin', you know. In Mexico. I know what it's like."

Jubilee could have told him that she'd felt it first hand, it would have been true. Whatever Dr Strange had done to her, she still had the memories of. They were a little less clear now but she still remembered. It wasn't her experience to tell though, especially not as some kind of game of one-upmanship.

"Yeah?" she asked instead, her tone devoid of all curiosity.

"Yeah", he answered flatly. "Rack thought it'd be fun to make me watch."

Jubilee shrugged. "Standard bad guy motif. Bet he bragged about what he was gonna do with her too."

"He didn't need to. That was pretty clear from the start. What he was goin' to do to me, now, an' Romany, that was more his choice of braggin' material." Angelo paused, thinking back over the conversation and realizing there was something Jubilee had never responded to. "Jubilee. D'you understand why I don't think you have a right to have Amanda speed up your healin', for those cuts?"

She yawned, drawing her hands to her lips before waving one in apology. "Sorry. Long night, Dude. So, tell me why you think I'm so unworthy of having my wounds healed."

"Well, first, nobody here has an automatic right to what Amanda can do. Everybody's got a right to medical treatment, of course, but to the magical healin'? Not so much. 'Cause Amanda's power has a limit, an' she'll push herself right to it before she stops, if she has to. Even if it means droppin' where she stands 'cause she's used up everythin' she's got. Now, like I said, she won't ever refuse anyone healin', if she's got any juice left in her. I don't think she can." He sighed. "Any other time, you'd have as much right as the rest of us to magical healin'. But these cuts... you've just been assumin' it's your automatic right to get them fixed, an' to hell with how you got them, an' why, or what else Amanda might need her power for. An' more than that, you've been treatin' Amanda like some... well of power, that won't ever run out. An' it will. Strange told me months ago she was riskin' doin' herself serious damage by tryin' to take on too much healin'. This keeps up, she's gonna burn herself out."

"How about we start calling them what they are, hey? Claw marks. Made by the demon that I helped kill. It got a pretty good grip on me before it died but I ain't about to do a show and tell. But it wasn't just some cuts, Angelo. I almost fucking bled to death. So, excuse me if I thought that deserved a little bit of healing. It's pretty much a moot point now anyway, since Amanda ain't got the power to heal me right now. What with Nathan and Manny. So I guess I'll just have to heal naturally." Jubilee replied sullenly.

She was getting pretty damned tired of people, okay, so she hadn't gotten broken ribs like Manuel, or a concussion like Nathan. She did feel somewhat guilty for having made such a big deal out of it now that she'd had time to get over the irritation of having an immobilized arm, yet again. But her wounds were hardly kitten scratches and it rankled that people thought she'd whine just for the sake of it.

"Made by the demon you could only help kill because whether you knew what you were doin' or not, you helped summon", Angelo retorted, feeling it was something that shouldn't be forgotten. "An' to tell you the truth, Jubilee, if I was in Amanda's shoes, I'd only've healed you enough to make sure you weren't gonna die. After that, you'd've been on your own, to take the natural healin' as a little bit of karma for what you did. So you should thank your lucky stars Amanda's not the kind of person to willingly refuse treatment to someone she doesn't like, even in this situation, even with as limited as her resources are."

"Seems like I hear that a lot these days. Our Saint Fucking Amanda, would you like me to canonise her now or after she heals me? Cause she's never fucked up badly before herself. Seems I remember an incident with a potion that people seemed well able to forget. But yes, let's remember how I helped summon the demon. Let's give me shit when there's people in this place that've done just as bad, or worse then what I did and with less fuckin' reason." Jubilee retorted.

Angelo looked at her calmly. "Amanda made the potion, yeah. Kwannon used it. Or have you forgotten that? An' more to the point, Amanda didn't take the potion an' put it into Kwannon's hands, or tell her it existed an' where to find it. Ms. Braddock's a telepath, remember? Which means Kwannon was too, an' she could just take whatever she wanted to know without anybody ever knowin' she had. I don't see it as bein' quite the same thing, somehow."

"Yeah, Kwannon used it. But do you remember why she made the potion, Angelo? To get back at Doug. She may not have used it like Kwannon did but she certainly intended harm to at least one person when she made it. She's made her own mistakes, Angelo. Just like me."

"No", Angelo contradicted. "She made it as a test for Doug - to get at him, maybe, but not to use against him. She handed it over to him, an' if it weren't for Kwannon, that would've been the end of it. Because without Kwannon, he wouldn't've got the idea put in his head to keep it long enough for her to get it. It would've been down the sink the next chance he got, an' no more potion. An' yeah, she was stupid. But she couldn't know Kwannon even existed."

"Angelo, are you even listening to yourself? She made it to test Doug, did she? Test a complete stranger who had annoyed her? Yeah, no ill motive there at all, Dude. Completely innocent and above board, I'm sure. And she couldn't have known about Kwannon? So, I could have known about the demon, then? Dude, if you're gonna excuse her on that kinda logic, then you've got no fuckin' right to give me shit about what happened with the demon."

Angelo paused, marshalling his thoughts. "No - see, the difference here is,
Amanda made a love potion an' then, as far as she knew, left the choice of whether to use it or not, an' on who, completely in Doug's hands. You, on the other hand, took a drawin' of her scars an' went behind her back to sell it to a complete stranger, even more than Doug was to Amanda at that point, with no clue as to whether he was dangerous or not. Do you really not see how the two things are different?"

Jubilee shook her head. "Wrong. She made it, thinking he'd use it. Otherwise, why test him at all? If you truly believe someone isn't going to do something, it's a waste of time testing it. And wrong again about what I did. I didn't sell anything. I went looking for information because of a perceived threat. I admit, I did it stupidly. I should have gone straight to the teachers, rather then going it alone. I was stupid and arrogant and it ended up hurting people I cared about. But I never went about it to harm Amanda. So, still, ya got no right to judge me, Angelo. Especially not on her behalf. I'd say she has a right, and the people that got harmed have a right but only for themselves, not for her."

Jubilee sighed, and ran a hand over the back of her neck, rubbing at the muscles there. "Look, you're her friend, and you're always gonna see things through that bias. I know what I did, and I know the mistakes I made. But you don't get to come down on me and ignore things she did, simply because it fits your happy little world view. I don't expect you to forgive me about the fact you had to face fire again but that's all I'm given you a right to be sore at me about. The rest, really ain't your business."

Angelo studied her stonily. "You ever considered that maybe she was pissed off at him an' she wanted to make him think about what he'd really do in that situation, given the choice? Sometimes, the best way to do that is to actually make it possible. Doesn't mean she expected one outcome over the other. An' tell me, Jubilee, if you didn't mean to harm Amanda by what you did, in any way, then what were you gonna do with the information once you'd got it?"

"So, now she was pissed off at him and wanted to make him think? Might wanna choose one story there, Dude. She wouldn't have felt so damn guilty afterwards if she'd meant to just make him think about it. As to the information? I would've kept it, till I needed to use it. I didn't mean her any particular harm but if she'd come after me? That would have been a different story. What else did you think I'd do with information, Angelo?"

"Comes to the same thing", Angelo answered. "Wanted to make him think an' wanted to see what he'd do, they're not mutually exclusive. An' she felt guilty because she did make the damn thing. She wasn't to know how it got out, she thought it was all her fault. Just like she did with the demon. An' what you did with the information would've depended on what it was, I guess. Moot point now since we both know what the truth was."

"Right. But she only felt guilty because she knew how much shit she was in. If it had just effected Doug, she would have had a big laugh about it, right?" Jubilee replied.

"If it had just affected Doug, nothin' bad would've happened", Angelo pointed out again, reasonably. "He'd have poured it down the sink an' there would've been an end of it. An' I think there's somethin' you're forgettin', Jubilee. You knew, long before the demon showed up, that you were wrong about the scars. You remember? I told you an' you went off half-cocked after Patches? If you'd told someone what you'd done then, you could've stopped any of this from happenin'."

"Dude, sayin' if it only affected Doug, nothin' bad would have happened is like sayin' someone usin' a date rape drug is okay if the target doesn't take it, cause no one was harmed. The intent to cause harm was there, even if there wouldn't have been any harm without Kwannon." she replied.

"Nice avoidance of the rest of what I said there, Jubes", he commented ironically. "You're really gettin' good at that. Here's another challenge for you, see if you can avoid this one: Amanda screwed up, an' through circumstances she couldn't've foreseen, people got hurt. You screwed up, an' through circumstances you probably couldn't've foreseen, people got physically hurt. Amanda's doin' somethin' to make up for what she did: the healin'. What are you doin', apart from spoutin' apologies to everyone?"

"Working with Nathan, for one. So sorry, Angelo. No brand new car for you today. But do come and play again next time. Just because I'm not makin' any grand gestures or statements, doesn't mean I'm doin' nothin', Angelo. But hey, maybe you would have preferred me to do the martyr act, strung myself up on a cross on the front lawn? Would that have made you feel better?" Jubilee asked, needled by his insinuation that she wasn't doing anything and that she could have seen the demon coming.

Just who the hell did he think she was, a clairvoyant?

"Workin' with Nathan isn't makin' up for it, the way Amanda is with her healin'. It's just makin' sure you won't make the same stupid mistake again. Now, you can't do what Amanda is, obviously, for powers reasons. But I'm sure you could think of somethin' to do to make up for what you did." He paused. "An' again I say, what you did was so much dumber than what Amanda did. She had no reason to believe that potion could get out of Doug's hands if he chose not to use it, no reason then not to trust Ms. Braddock - or the person in her body, rather. You, on the other hand, handed personal information on Amanda to someone you had no reason to trust, just to keep up your little vendetta. Oh, no, I'm sorry - because you thought she was evil. An' then when you knew different, when you knew Patches had a score to settle with Amanda, you didn't go to anyone on the faculty to say, 'Hey, this guy now has his hands on a picture of Amanda's scars an' my blood, thought you ought to know.' Did you?"

"Fuck off, Angelo. Next time you have your fuckin' arm broken, try bein' at all coherent. And I did fuckin' go to the teachers with the information I had, when I thought of it. Guess it just turned out to be too late."

She could have said more but it was obvious to her now that this would just go on forever if she let it. And she wasn't interested in winning the argument anymore, not when she could see it just wasn't worth it. She was leaving, and he wasn't going to stop her. If he so much as touched her this time, she was going to punch him in the jaw. She turned and started walking toward the door, completely fed up with the whole thing.

He considered stepping in her way again, then shrugged. It didn't seem like they had very much more to say to each other. Instead, he just called to her back, "That's not an excuse, Jubilee. You were coherent enough to go after Patches, to know where he'd steered you wrong, an' to make some kind of plan to do it, even if it wasn't good enough to stop you gettin' picked up before you got out of the county. So you can't claim that for why you didn't tell the faculty what he'd done an' what he knew. Sorry."