xp_logs | More heart pouring out... (Reply)

Wednesday just before dinner, Xavier's study. Kitty and Professor X have a talk.

x_kitten : *nocks* Professor?

x_avier : Xavier looks up from the sheaf of papers he is marking. "Yes, Kitty, come in."

x_kitten : *enters quietly* Hi professor...
x_kitten : I was talking with Rogue earlier and... I need to talk to you.

x_avier : Xavier nods and gestures to the seat in front of the desk. "Please, feel free."

x_kitten : *perches on seat, looking kind of nervous* Um, well... it's about... about everythign that happened.
x_kitten : I mean, the headache and John and just... just everything

x_avier : Xavier nods, smiling reassuringly.

x_kitten : Um... I guess I don't know where to start... Except. Well... *stares at carpet for a second, then looks up, biting her lip* It hurt, you know.. I mean, of course you know. But, well. It hurt a lot. A lot, a lot... More than anything ever...
x_kitten : And you did it.
x_kitten : I mean, I know you didn't mean to, but you did...

x_avier : Nodding gravely, Xavier rolls around the desk, coming to a stop beside her. "I know -- and I'm looking at ways to ensure it never happens again. Including," and he taps his temple, "putting a lock on this mind so that I /cannot/."

x_kitten : Really? *looks curious* That's... good to hear. *bites at lip* But all that happened, and then John left. And I know it's not fair, but... in my head... I know you're not, intellectually, but in my heart you were always perfect. You made everythign safe... And then, I guess I found out that even you can't make it all better. *glances back at ground*
x_kitten : I'm not making a lot of sense, am I...

x_avier : Xavier holds up a finger. "Oh, but I /could/ make it all better, Kitty. I could snap my fingers and make you forget it in a heartbeat. But I would never do that -- and could never live with myself if I did. There are many people in this school, Kitty, who would like me to delve into their deepest memories and extract information for them. But I simply cannot do so. In the same way, I understand that I appear initially to be infallible. But I am -- we all are -- human, even if I -- we -- have special powers. Part of growing up is realising that those we look up to are human, just like us." He grows wistful for a moment before holding out his hand.

x_kitten : *nods, thinking about it, then takes hand and leans over, hugging him suddenly* I wouldn't want to forget... I don't want to not remember John, or even the pain. *leans back* When I was little I thought my parents could do anything, but they didn't think they could deal with me being a mutant. So they sent me to you. I guess I thought that meant you could do even more than they could. And you can, but I have to do a lot of it myself, too...

x_avier : "...and that is one of the most important lessons that we here at school can teach you, Kitty. Our final goal, here, is not to prepare you for exams -- though I know that may seem to be the current focus -- or for you to study the intricacies of Milton, Yeats or Schubert -- but to prepare you for /life/. Learning how to protect yourself from life's dangers, life's trials and tribulations, is just one part of that. Learning how to prepare yourself for life's joys and triumps -- that's another part, and one that is equally important."

x_kitten : *smiles, nods slightly* Yeah, I guess I'm coming to understand that. *settles back on chair, looking less like she's going to run at any second* Who'd have thought you had to learn to be an adult... I always thought you just _were_ one.

x_avier : Xavier smiles. "And that, my dear, is the first lesson of Adulthood 101. You never stop learning. /I/'ve certainly never stopped learning. For example, just the other day I found an album of Schubert Lieder that was entirely new to me. Quite lovely. How about you? What's been a learning experience for the week? And a /good/ experience, please."

x_kitten : *smiles faintly and thinks* Well, Rogue's current Tagore kick has reminded me of my old love of the Daoists and I was going through the library when I found a copy of the Dao De Ching... Seems like more of us here at the school could aford to spend some time practicing wu-wei... Take no action with intent and the proper things shall be done.

x_avier : "I've always had a soft spot for Chinese philosophy. So did Erik -- though he preferred Sun Tzu." He becomes lost in thought for a moment, then snaps himself back to reality. "Indeed. Perhaps some Tai Chi Chuan at sunrise would be popular."

x_kitten : *grins* Well, not with the non-morning types, but _I'd_ certainly like it.

x_avier : "Well, if you'd like to find out the time of sunrise and post it on the journalling system, I should be pleased to join you."

x_kitten : Ok, I can do that. I think these days it's making it up around 6:30, but I can get the exact time later.

x_avier : Xavier smiles. "Super. I shall look forward to it."

x_kitten : Thank you for talking with me Professor. Sorry I've been such a... well, sorry.

x_avier : Xavier raises his eyebrows. "Kitty, you, of all people, have nothing to apologise for. Indeed, I do not believe I can adequately thank you for your efforts on my -- our -- behalf after Alkali Lake."

x_kitten : *blushes* Oh... Ms. Braddock was saying I needed to not appologize so much too.
x_kitten : And you're welcome, although I don't know what I did...

x_avier : Xavier smiles. "Apologies are tricky things. I am sorry that your illusions of the aegis of my protection were shattered this past week. But you will come through it a stronger and wiser person, trust me."

x_kitten : Thank you. *smiles* Oh, *glances at watch* it's almost dinner time. I shoul probably go...

x_avier : "Enjoy," Xavier says, gesturing to the door with his hand. "And if you need to talk again, do pop by."

x_kitten : *stands* I will, thank you for listening, and for... oh for just everything. *heads to the door*

x_avier : "See you tomorrow morning," Xavier says before rolling back around to his desk, reading out a quotation from an essay. "'Life is but a poor player that struts and frets upon the stage...'"

x_kitten : *turns back quickly* Oh, I haven't heard. Are you going to come to the BBQ?

x_avier : Xavier, looking up, nods. "Indeed I shall, if I'm welcome..."

x_kitten : Of course you are!

x_avier : "Then I should be glad to."

x_kitten : Excellent. I'll add you to the list. *grins and heads out the door*

x_avier : Xavier grins and turns back to his papers.