Al gets more time in as counslor

[x-kitten.livejournal.com]

Because All My Mutant Children isn't angsty enough...



Most of the others have come and gone, so Kitty's alone in the kitchen. Surrounded by Lorna's little feast she's riffling through the cupboards. On a little, clear counter space she's already got peanut butter and jelly laid out, and she's looking for the bread. Next to the plate she's got ready is a freshly washed knife.

Alison sticks her head inside the kitchen almost perfunctorily, not really expecting to see anyone at all and yet refusing to give up in her search for Jamie. She straightens up and then pauses, then leans back in again. "Hey, kiddo."

Looking up, startled, Kitty glances towards the door. "Oh, hello."

Leaning in the doorframe, Alison smiles at her faintly, giving the rest of the kitchen a brief look. "Tons and tons o' food, mmm?" She wrinkles her nose in amusement, and then sobers up. "Don't suppose you've seen Jamie anywhere lately?"

Kitty glances around the room, then shrugs. "Yes," she says quietly, before sticking her head back into the cupboard and finally pulling out the bread for her sandwich. "I haven't seen him, no. Been out all day."

"I see," she takes a few steps inside the kitchen, and then leans on the countertop, watching her make the sandwich idly. "How've you been doing?" she asks, thinking that while she's finding everyone but Jamie, she might as well find out about them as well.

Kitty shrugs, quickly making her small dinner as she talks. "I've been ok, I guess." She looks tired and hungry, but not really unhappy. "You know, homework and everything keeping me busy." It's small talk, but it's talk, she figures.

"That's one small baby sandwich for someone as hungry looking as yourself," Alison remarks idly, frowning slightly to herself and wondering what exactly she's seen Kitty eat today, if at all.

Kitty frowns down at it. "Yeah, I know. I'm just not in the mood to cook more though."

"Well, why not eat something that Lorna made," Alison suggests, leaning on the counter a bit more and raising an eyebrow at the leftovers spread out on the counter. "There's certainly enough left over for you."

"Yes, there is..." her voice is hesitant as she glances around, her gaze lingering on something that looks like chicken in a white sauce. "None of it's kosher though."

"Kosh- oooh," she catches herself, understanding breaking through. "Kitty, I'm sure Lorna wouldn't mind figuring something out that'd work - heck, I'll whip something up for you, if you'd like." She ignored the nagging little voice in the back of her head, reminding her of something she'd heard once, about Jewish holidays, in favour of another realization. "But," she shrugged, but went on, "don't mean to be rude, but I don't think I've seen you keep kosher, other than on the really big holidays..."

She blushed faintly. "No, I don't." A little pause. "Alison, it was a holiday. Rosh Hashanah, the new year."

Alison nods slowly in dawning comprehension. "Wouldn't you be going to spend that with your family, usually?" she asks gently, suspecting the reason why Kitty has stayed behind already.

Kitty frowns as she moves to carry her plate to the table. "Oh, maybe, but it seems like an awfully far way to fly, and I didn't want to miss classes. I can't go home for every holiday."

Following her quietly, Alison draws a chair next to her as opposed to facing her, and leans on the table. "New year sounds like a pretty important holiday though," she pointed out, almost hating doing so.

"It is, yes, but... I mean... I didn't make it home last New Year either." She shrugs a little. "It's really been a while since I've been home at all." Glancing down at the table she takes a bite out of her sandwich.

Yeah, that's the feeling I got when I met your parents. Not moving for a moment, she lets Kitty eat, before continuing. "Did you want to go, for this holiday, hon?" she asks in a low, quiet voice.

Kitty looks up again. "No, not really." It's a quick answer, but there's something very true in it. She really didn't want to be home if it was going to be like the visit had been. "I'm just... It's kind of lonely. And I had a few invitations to dinnner from some of the families in town - they know I'm the only jew here at the school and some of them are really nice, but... well... I kind of wanted to be back here. Except that I don't really, because here's not the same as it was. I don't know..."

"And home isn't the same as it was either," Alison said in the silence that followed, the words out of her mouth almost before she could stop them.

Kitty pulls back a little, startled. "No... no, it's probably not." She looks away and she's not crying, damnit, because that would be too much and if she started she might not stop.

Closing her eyes briefly in self-disgust, Alison sighs. Way to go, oh student counselor. Without a word she nudges her chair closer, and lays a hand on Kitty's shoulder, in mute apology. "I'm sorry kiddo. That was... a bit blunter than I meant it to be."

Kitty looks down at her partly eaten sandwhich, and it's not very appealing anymore. "Nah, that's ok," she says without looking up.

"No it's not. It's not ok and it's not fair and it shouldn't be that way. And I'm sorry it is..." she trails off, not sure whether she's helping or not, but unable to leave Kitty like that, just staring disconsolately at her food.

"Yeah, but who says life is fair?"

"Who says we have to like it?" she asks back, shaking her head and wishing there were something more she could do.

"Which, life, or the fact that it's not fair?" she asked sardonically.

"Either, both..." Alison shrugs.

"Well, agreed. But it's pretty sad if we don't like life."

"That's just what I was thinking," is the sombre reply, as Alison looks over Kitty's expression and shakes her head at seeing that much bitterness on the usually cheerful young girl's face. "Can I ask you a favour?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Up and on your feet, kiddo." Alison gets up herself, and waits until Kitty has as well, before continuing. "And here's the favour," she takes a deep breath, and then lets it out slowly. "Please don't phase out on me?" she asks gently, before giving Kitty a hug, moving slowly so as to not startle her.

Kitty stands at Al's urging, and then lets the other woman hug her. "Um, ok..." she says, her voice a little muffled as she puts her arms around Al.

Alison holds on without a word, hoping that it might be enough to break through to Kitty when words didn't.

Kitty sniffs quietly, but still isn't crying, and isn't talking. There's just too much for her to talk about, and starting isn't something she thinks she can do now.