Sunday night.

[x-polarisstar.livejournal.com]

Alex and Lorna have differing opinions of what Jean coming back means. Luckily they try out that communication thing and manage to agree to disagree. Sorta.



Lorna loved Sundays. They were the most relaxing day of the week by and large, starting with a low key work out, a quiet hour at Mass and then a leisurely day planning the menus for the week. This Sunday was made all the better by the good news of the weekend. Lorna wouldn’t have gone so far as to call it a miracle but she certainly had whispered a thank you while at church today.

As the moon rose, Lorna found herself in her small kitchen, arranging fresh flowers from Ororo’s garden—taken with permission, of course. The only dark spot on her day was her lack of boyfriend. He’d been absent all day, presumably with Scott. Lorna hoped he’d actually show up tonight.

As if in answer to her prayers, Alex walked in sullenly, his head ducked and hands in the pocket of his sweatshirt. He wasn't happy about leaving Scott alone tonight, he'd much rather have stayed like he had the night before. But Scott had insisted he go home to Lorna, so here Alex was. He collapsed onto the couch and looked up at the ceiling, thinking.

Lorna turned at the sound of the door closing and abandoned her flowers. “Hey, love. You look beat.” She crossed to the couch and settled on the floor next to him, reaching up to brush her hand through his hair. “How’s Scott?”

He sighed deeply as he looked sadly down at her. "Still lost...still doesn't know if he fully believes it, though he's accepted that yes it is Jean and not an imitation. He's just so confused and though I'm trying to stay strong to support him...it hurts to see him this way...to see what she'd done to him..."

Lorna pulled away, shocked. “What she’s done to him? Alex, she’s been as good as dead for two years, how could she do anything to him?” She knew he had to support Scott but this wasn’t Jean’s fault.

Alex frowned a bit down at her cocking his head. "Yes and it's taken Scott those two years to let her go, emotionally. You know how hard that was for him? He had finally gotten to the point where he could move on and now, NOW, of all times she has to come back and ruin the progress he's made..." He stood up, unable to sit down and keep his tension and emotion in check. "By dying she broke him and by returning she's only doing it again! Scott doesn't deserve that!"

Lorna shifted, leaning back on her hands to frown up at him. “So what, she should have just stayed dead? How is that fair? That’s like asking Jane to never wonder who she is or where she’s from.” She shook her head, “I know you love Scott but you’ve got to see that this isn’t Jean’s fault for not being dead!”

"Oh? Then whose fault it this? Whose fault it that I had to promise my brother last night that I wouldn't wake him up if this was real? Whose fault it that Scott is calling himself a failure because he didn't look hard enough? Huh?" Alex looked away for a moment to compose himself. "I won't let Scott take the blame for this...for her!"

“It’s not anyone’s fault! Certainly not Jean’s! You don’t know her, Alex! She would never have done this on purpose. She died saving everyone in that plane.” Lorna got up and put her hands on his shoulders. “We all grieved and no one hurt more than Scott. But it wasn’t anyone’s fault except the bastards who made them go up there.”

"I don't know her...After listening to Scott for two years tell me about the loss of the love of his life...of things he and her used to do together...of how much he missed her...Oh I know her alright...and intentional or not, this is her fault this is happening to him!" In the back of his mind, Alex knew his hatred of Jean was irrational, but that didn't stop it. His eyes teared up and he pulled away from Lorna, hugging his arms to his chest.

“Jean doesn’t want Scott hurt anymore than you do.” Lorna stepped forward again and wrapped her arms around his waist, ignoring his stiff posture. “You can’t blame her. Wait until you talk to her yourself. You’ll see, she’s great. I don’t know where she’s been but she didn’t go away to hurt him and if she could fix it, I bet she would.”

He pushed out of her grasp, turning to face her. He couldn't believe it...of all people, he couldn't believe Lorna was trying to change his mind about this. To betray Scott, or that's how he saw it. Alex slowly moved toward the door. "I can't believe this...really! First Shiro and now you! I know it's all fine and dandy that Jean's back but doesn't anyone care about how Scott feels about this?"

Lorna stared at him in shock, “Of course we care. But Jean’s alive, Alex. Do you even know what that means?” A few quick steps brought her between him and the door. “Don’t leave, we’re going to talk about this!”

"There's nothing to talk about!" Alex shouted before making a dash for the bedroom. Quickly he shut and locked the door, though he knew if Lorna really wanted to get in she would. He turned his back to it and slide down the door till he was sitting with knees hugged to his chest. "Just..." His voice started to break as he spoke loud enough to get through the door. "Leave me alone...please!"

Lorna bit her lip and rested her hand on the doorknob, wondering if she should unlock it. “Alex, no. We promised we wouldn’t do this. You promised me you wouldn’t run. You have to talk to me.” This was suddenly worlds more important than Scott or Jean. “Don’t close me out.”

"This isn't about us! I'm not going to sit by and let you talk me into betraying my brother! I won't...I'm not going to let him down, I promised him!" Again, a part of his mind knew he was being childish, not the nineteen year old he was. But still, Lorna betraying him...it hurt alot.

“This is about us. We can disagree on things, Alex. It happens. But you can’t run every time we do.” Her voice caught on a sob and her tone became pleading, “If you think it’s because I don’t understand, make me understand. Just don’t shut me out. Please.”

There was silence for a few minutes before the door crept open softly, but only enough for Alex to look out, so he could close it quickly if he needed to. "I'm not trying to shut you out...but it's obvious you don't like what I think of Jean and I don't like you defending her. Don't make me...don't try to make me see otherwise because if I do...I won't be able to stay strong for Scott. Please...?"

Lorna had been resting her forehead on the door and she swayed when he opened it. She dropped to her knees and reached out her hand to him, still outside the door. “I don’t want you to abandon Scott. I would never dream of asking you to. But you don’t have to hate a woman you don’t even know for it. His pain isn’t any less real if it wasn’t her fault. I’m just asking that you try to see that she’s a victim too. You can still support Scott without hating her.”

God he hated the sight before him...or even imagining the sight they must make. Lorna on her knees and him hiding behind a door. But he couldn't move to change it. "I'm not saying she's not a victim...But please don't make me glad to see her alive because frankly...I don't. I can't. You know what one of my first serious conversations with my brother was after he found me in Hawaii..." His voice broke for a moment at the memory. "He broke down totally, telling me about how...how he was to blame for her death and how broke he was...And how much he loved her. I didn't ever want to see my brother hurt like that again. And because of Jean, he is...I don't think I can forgive her for that..."

“Not because of Jean. He loved her and she loved him.” Lorna ran her hand through her hand when he didn’t take it. “I couldn’t have made it through in his place. If I lost you, I wouldn’t make it. I nearly didn’t. And I know what it is to be angry at someone for leaving you and even to hate them for coming back. But it wasn’t your fault and it’s not Jean’s.”

Alex was so lost and confused he didn't know what to say. Part of him wanted to believe her after seeing himself in Jean's place and Lorna in Scott's but most of him still held hatred for the red-head. Finally, he just fell to his knees in front of her and hung on for dear life...not knowing what else to do.

Lorna clung to him, burying her face in his neck. She knew she hadn’t changed his mind but for the moment she was only concerned with the fact that he wasn’t pushing her away anymore. When he met Jean, it would all change. Lorna had faith that it would. She pulled back enough to seek out Alex’s gaze, beloved blue awash in hurt. She wanted to say something but could think of no way to express her thoughts and just stared him with trembling lips.

He could tell she was at a loss for words as well and after a few long moments, Alex licked his lips stood up and pulled her up with him. "Let's go to bed and talk about this in the morning...I don't think either of us as any words left on the subject."

She nodded, not because she agreed but because it was easier than fighting. She wrapped her arms around his waist and kissed his cheek. “I need to finish cleaning up the kitchen. I’ll see you in a few minutes.”

He only nodded in response and retreated into the bed room. After quickly changing into what served for pajamas for him now, sweat pants over his containment suit, he sat on the bed, his head in his hands. Alex's greatest fear in this situation is if she made him choose between her or his brother, because frankly, he didn't know what he would do. Scott needed him but Alex equally needed Lorna. Now he really wished Jean had just stayed dead, a fight between him and Lorna was just not worth this...

Lorna only allowed herself a few minutes to weep quietly, caught between Alex and what she knew was true. Wiping her eyes, she set the flowers on the window sill to catch the morning sun then went to the bedroom. She barely glanced at Alex as she began to change for bed. But as she stared down into her dresser drawer, her sweater still clenched in one hand, she brushed her hand over her usual pajama set--pants and a button down top--then pulled out a black nightgown instead. Without bothering to see if Alex was paying attention, she changed into it. Only once the soft lace hem brushed her knees did she turn to look at Alex. She spread her hands, “This isn’t about us. I still need you no matter what.”

Alex didn't even look up untill she spoke and then he only nodded. "I know.." He said weakly, his voice scratchy from emotion.

She crossed the few feet to the bed and settled on his lap. “We’re okay,” she told him, “We can disagree and it’s okay.”

He swallowed and nodded again shyly.

Burying her hands in his hair, she tilted his head back further and kissed him. “I’ll still need you. Here with me. No matter what happens out there. Okay?”

Alex wrapped his arms around her waist as he returned her kiss. "Yes m'lady...likewise."

She smiled at that and shifted on his lap so she was on her knees, straddling his legs. “Just so long as we’re clear.”

He couldn't help but smile in return and reached up to nuzzle her nose. "Crystal." And with that he sent up a prayer to whoever was listening thanking them for making him the luckiest boy alive...