xp_logs | Domino and Amanda, Saturday afternoon (Reply)

After the funeral, Amanda goes looking for Domino, and finds her in the last place she looks. They have one of those nice, long, occasionally comforting, occasionally uncomfortable 'sisterly' talks.

The Hunt for Domino had been unsuccessful, and Amanda was still mindful of the 'no using magic unless there's no alternative' rule. With a sigh she returned to her room, resigned to doing that English revision. Dom was probably down talking to Nathan, or with Moira, or even Anika...

Or, she amended mentally, Domino could be sprawled on her bed, apparently asleep. She grinned briefly at the sight - Domino asleep actually looked younger than she did.

Domino cracked one eye open as Amanda flopped down on the bed beside her. "There you are," she said sleepily. "Brat. I've been waiting and waiting... what took you so long?"

"Was lookin' for you - didn't expect you t' be here. Thought you'd be out doin' funeral stuff with the others, or maybe down with Nate." Amanda kicked off her sneakers without undoing the laces, and leaned back against the headboard with a sigh, closing her eyes. "Is today over yet? 'Cause I'd like it t' be."

"Nate's got company." Domino sighed, running a hand through her hair. "Anika, and Isabel and Ian... uh, Matsuda and Piers. Two of the other first-gens. Guess the government decided to be nice and let them out of debriefing to come to the funeral." She snorted softly. "And GW and Moira are doing... something, I don't know what. It involves a lot of whispering over a laptop."

"Yeah, saw 'em as they came in - hope they get a rise out of him, since I couldn't. He asked me t' read those letters tho'." On impulse she reached out and pushed a couple of strands of hair out of Domino's eyes. "'M glad you're here. In case you didn't get that with the whole jumpin' on you thing in the dinin' room."

"I should have been here sooner, but..." Domino shrugged a little, a faint, sad little smile tugging at her lips. "Suppose part of me was afraid. I'm a big chicken, which I'd guess you've figured out by now." Between being afraid to see Nate, and being afraid to see Amanda because she'd be dealing with Nate on top of what was going on with Pete...

"Only about the touchy-feely stuff," Amanda said with a wry grin. She was resisting the urge to slide down the bed and cuddle, since Domino was one of the few remaining people she felt she could do that with, and the only one not insanely busy right now. "Sorry for bein' a big wuss earlier. Didn't sleep a lot last night, an' Moira's pills make me all weird."

"Oh, bullshit." Domino reached up and tugged at her hand. "You're no wuss. Precisely the opposite, and if you argue with me I may have to do something truly dastardly to you."

"Yeah, well, cryin' every five minutes ain't exactly tough," Amanda replied, but she wasn't seriously arguing. Then her face turned serious, and she held on tightly to Domino's hand, hating the tremble in it. "I couldn't ask earlier, but... have you heard anythin'?"

Domino shook her head. "He'll get in touch when he gets in touch," she said quietly. "I know that's not reassuring, but it's how he's decided to play it. And we're all following his tune on this one, I think."

Amanda sighed, shoulders slumping. "I was hopin' you had... Remy says he caught up with him last week, an' it didn't go well by all accounts." She rested her head back against the headboard with a slight thump, squeezing her eyes shut to stop the burning of tears. "Just so worried 'bout him, y'know? An' I can't tell anyone."

"Bastards," Domino muttered irritably, then reminded herself that there were things she wasn't supposed to talk about to Amanda. "Pete included. Going to smack him the next time I see him. Right upside the head."

At least she was talking of definitely seeing him. It was the uncertainty that was killing Amanda. Pete wouldn't just go off and to this without at least trying to contact her, would he? Or maybe he was that far gone, like Remy seemed to think he was."I just wish it was over, y'know? Pete's gunna kill that bastard, one way or the other, but I wish it was done. At least then I'd know that part was over, at least." Especially with Manuel establishing contact with him again. What would it be next? Another invite to the Hellfire Club?

"He'll get in touch. Like he said," Domino said firmly. Either he would or she'd track him down and do terrible things to him for breaking his word. "And I'll do my part, when he does. Just... hold on, for that, okay?"

Amanda nodded, clenching her jaw against the urge to cry. She was so tired of doing that, both the crying and the holding it in. "'S hard," she managed to say. "Keepin' secrets like this. I've been avoidin' Manuel as much as I can without upsettin' him, an' blockin' the link as much as I can, but I don't know how much longer I can keep doin' that. An' part of me wants t' tell him, t' let him know how much of a bastard his father is. 'Specially since he's talkin' 'bout writin' to him."

Manny, where the fuck is your head? Domino realized she was scowling and smoothed out her expression. "So, uh, what's his reasoning behind that? Or wait... please tell me he didn't give you his reasoning behind that. Because just the fact that he'd do it... well, maybe not so much do it but talk to you about it... is pretty fucking appalling in and of itself."

"I wouldn't let him," Amanda said, looking down and realising she was twisting the hem of her shirt between her fingers in the way she used to. She was regressing badly, she realised, making herself stop. Next thing she knew she'd be jonesing for a fix - and of course once she'd let that thought through, there was the vague nagging urge. Easy enough to push aside. "It sort of came up in general conversation, an' I... well, I freaked out. Wouldn't hear anythin' else." She made herself smile wryly. "Still can't really think 'bout that night without bein' sick."

"You know, sis, that's one experience I really wish we'd never wound up sharing." Domino smiled thinly at Amanda's questioning look. "Getting roughed up on the orders of a member of the Inner Circle, I mean."

"Maybe we should have badges. Or maybe a t-shirt: 'I got beaten by some flunkies an' all I got was this lousy t-shirt'," Amanda joked, and her laugh held a slightly hysterical edge.

"You know, it's too damned bad GW talked Nate out of trying for Shaw back then. Might have made things less complicated now." Domino shrugged. "Or more. Who the fuck knows who'd be the Black King if it wasn't Shaw, after all."

"Yeah, whole lot of might have beens about this whole thing." Amanda's tone was bitter. She was coming to realise it wasn't precisely her fault any of this had happened, but the fact was Alphonso was wanting to hurt her with all of this. And he was succeeding.

Domino looked up at her, her violet eyes very serious. She almost asked Amanda if she'd thought through all of the possible consequences, given that there was probably no way she could or would keep this from Manuel after it happened, as it almost inevitably would... but she had the very strong suspicion that Amanda didn't want to look that far ahead just yet. "And then you've got to deal with running yourself ragged healing, on top of it all," she said wryly, instead.

"Helps, actually doin' somethin'," Amanda admitted. "I'd do more, only they won't let me, an' I don't really like the idea of permanent brain damage. But all this, the sittin' 'round an' waitin', not knowin' what's goin' on with Pete an' not bein' able t' tell people why I'm in such a foul mood... 's gettin' a bit hard t' take. An' people're givin' me shite for not bein' me happy usual self. Guess they think I'm usin' again or somethin'."

"Are you kidding me?" Domino asked teasingly, scooting upwards on the bed and sitting up. "Your 'happy usual self'?" She tapped Amanda's nose lightly. "You should bite them. Tell me the image doesn't appeal."

Despite herself, Amanda snickered. Oh, the image appealed in all sorts of ways... The expression on Paige's face for one. "Well, there were threats. Does that count?"

"Oooh, threats. Sounds like you've been having some fairly interesting conversations," Domino said wryly. "The fun never stops around here, does it?"

"Now you get why I'm so bloody tired," Amanda told her, letting her head drop back against the headboard with a soft thunk. "You an' GW were serious 'bout me comin' t' visit? I really need a break from here."

Domino poked her. "No, we were cruelly dangling the hope of a vacation in front of you just to see the light in your beady little eyes wither and die, dear."

With a snort and not opening her eyes, Amanda batted away the hand. "I'll start workin' on Rom, then," she said, life entering her voice at the thought of a break. And the Pack were the only other people she felt comfortable around.

"If for some reason this doesn't work out," Domino said briskly, "there's always Muir, you know. Part of me suspects that Moira would very happily put you on a plane if you asked." She gazed down at Amanda for a moment, then slid her arm around her shoulders, drawing the girl in close. "Would probably be almost as good for you," she murmured.

"Muir's not the same without Moira an' Nate there," Amanda pointed out. "Otherwise 's just a big ol' drafy castle." She unconsciously cuddled up to the older woman, taking comfort in the contact. Contact uncomplicated by having to block a link, or worrying about the person's girlfriend who wanted to knock your block off walking past and deciding you were invading her territory again. "You lot don't pressure me," she said quietly. "Don't have t' pretend anythin' when I'm stayin' with you."

"Not a whole lot of room for dishonesty in the lives we lead," Domino said just as softly. "And you're pretty nice to be around when you're not stressed out of your mind and being pulled in half a dozen different directions by stupid men, you know."

Another snort. "An' when I am?"

"Well, then you're all cute and woeful and wounded and I want to go beat the shit out of all the aforementioned stupid men. And bring you back choice pieces, or at the very least notarized solemn promises to never do it again," Domino said airily, then kissed her on the cheek. "And yes, that does include the one I'm in love with."

That prompted a giggle, a real one even. And then she blinked as she processed that last part. "So you finally got around t' admittin' it?" she teased. "Can I start callin' you Auntie Dom instead?"

"Oh, yeah, like it's not the worst-kept secret in the world," Domino said mock-crossly, though she wasn't really sure herself why she'd said it aloud like that. Maybe just to reassure Amanda that she wasn't the only one who was worried... for Pete's sake, not for Pete and Manuel and the school. "And no, let's not contort the pseudo-family tree any further, please? Otherwise it all winds up seeming more than vaguely incestuous in the end."

"Only vaguely? Bugger, we're not tryin' hard enough," Amanda said with a mock-pout, but with a definite lightening of her expression. The worry was still there, but easier for being shared.

"Besides. I prefer the 'sister' role. Otherwise I'm Auntie Dom to Nate and Moira's baby, and I can see Moira blanching just at the thought of that." Domino paused for a beat. "Of course, I can also see Moira blanching just at the thought of being my mother figure, so, you know. Six of one, half-dozen of the other..."

"We really are a fucked-up bunch of people who aren't really related," Amanda agreed. "But you know somethin'? I prefer this family t' the regular sort. Least I know you want me around, an' it's just not out of some loyalty 'cause we've got the same blood."

"It's more fragile, though, you know," Domino murmured. "Choices... they aren't always permanent things. In the back of your mind, you always know that."

She might know, but she didn't want to think about it. Not now and perhaps not ever. "Don't," she whispered, closing her eyes and turning her head so her face was leaning in the angle between Domino's neck and shoulder.

"Sorry. I'm in a glum mood, sweetheart... doesn't mean I should be passing it off to you." Domino leaned her head against Amanda's with a sigh. "Pete out there somewhere, Nate flat on his back down there... it's like my North and South Poles have gone wandering on me. It's disconcerting."

"It's just... people leave. I know that, an' I can't stop it. But I don't want t' think 'bout it until I have to, yeah?" Amanda didn't lift her head, her voice small and child-like. "Just let me pretend a bit longer?"

"No doom and gloom. Promise. Happy thoughts." She smiled a little. "I stopped in to see Bella and her little green caretaker. She called me all kinds of nasty names when I left her with Miles."

"I've been thinkin' I might bring her down t' medlab, next time it's Moira's shift an' I can talk her into it," Amanda replied, turning her head a little so she sounded less muffled. "Bartlet an' Grey won't have a bar of it, but Moira would."

"So long as you don't let her bounce on his bed, I can't see the problem," Domino said stubbornly. "Might cheer him up a little."

Something had to. Neither of them had said it, but they were both thinking it. "I'll talk t' Moira tomorrow," Amanda replied, closing her eyes and finally starting to relax, Domino's presence soothing her despite all the heavy talk. Or maybe because of it - at least she'd been able to let it out.

"I'm thinking, spoiling you rotten is definitely in the game plan when you get to Berlin," Domino said, softly but firmly. "Mina and Li and I... maybe Ani, too, if she's back by then... and you. Out painting the town all kinds of appalling colors."

"Sounds good t' me," Amanda said drowsily. "No bastards allowed, yeah?" Dom always seemed to make a good pillow, she thought vaguely. Which was strange, since there was very little that was soft about her, all tight muscle and bone.

"Nothing with a Y chromosome, period." Domino's eyes were getting a little heavy, too, but she supposed it didn't really matter. Here was a very good place to be, right now, when it came right down to it.