(no subject)

[x-kitten.livejournal.com]

Charles shifts the red nine onto the black ten and eyes the screen contemplatively. There is, as always, paperwork to do and plans to be made, but everyone needs a break from time to time.

Kitty had been fuming to herself all day. Even Jamie had noticed her lack of good cheer, but then, he probably knew exactly what she was upset about. Checking her email that evening she'd spotted the professor's note and, without a second thought, had headed out the door and down to his study. Standing before his door she reached out and tapped against it.

Charles closes the game down, smiling faintly to himself at the instinct to cover what is not, after all, all things considered, that guilty a pleasure. "Come in."

Opening the door, Kitty glances around as she enteres. "Good evening professor. You wanted to speak to me?"

"Ah, Kitty. Yes, come in, have a seat." Charles indicates an armchair near one of his bookshelves, and wheels himself around the desk to join her. "How are you?"

Settling into the chair, she answers him. "Confused." And frustrated, and angry, and upset. But he undoubtedly knows all of that.

"About why I asked Nathan to leave." His tone is carefully neutral, waiting to see how Kitty will respond.

"Yes." Kitty tries to match his tone, to not let anything show in her voice or on her face. She undoubtedly is failing and her frustration is almost certainly apparent, but she's trying anyway.

Charles nods calmly. "You came to respect him a great deal while he was here."

"Yes, I did, sir." Sighing, she continues, "And I don't understand why he was fired."

"Are you worried that it was because of the surgery he performed on Ms. Braddock?"

Kitty's eyes flashed briefly, dark thoughts running through her head. "I don't understand at all," was all she said. "It doesn't make any sense."

Charles sighs. "I'll see if I can explain it to you, then. Did he share with you any of his . . . conclusions about the school?"

Kitty raises an eyebrow. "I'm not sure what you mean, sir," she says. But if you mean what I think you mean you're going to have to actually say it.

Charles just nods. "I believe the phrase he used in my hearing was 'a recruiting center for soldiers in my private army.'"

"Ah." Kitty pauses, looking thoughtful. "Yes, sir, I admit, I did know about that opinion of his."

Charles' calm regard sharpens by a degree or two, but his tone of voice remains even. "What did you think about it?"

"I thought it was rather extreme," she answers, honestly. "Your 'recruiting', as he put it, was certainly never involuntary." The second she says it the thought passes through her mind that maybe the Professor had never heard Doctor Essex metion that idea, but now it's too late.

"No. Nor will it ever be. But Nathan was firm in his opinions, as he always is, and would not have stayed in the house of a 'madman' even if I'd begged him, which I was in no rush to do. My students' trust is far too important, and lately far too fragile, to brook the kind of disruption he would have caused had he remained here."

"If you'll excuse me for saying so Professor, there's a difference between his refusing to stay in this house and his being fired. One implies he left because he wished to, the other because you wished him too." She scowls, faintly. "Which story is true?"

"I outlined conditions under which he would have been allowed to remain, and he refused them, so in a sense both stories are true."

"And they were? Sir."

"That Henry oversee any medical procedures performed here, that Scott and Ororo review his training plans, and that he have no contact with students outside class without another staff member present. I admit I thought it unlikely he would accept, but I did not feel I could trust him with my students under any lesser strictures."

"Ah..." Kitty is absolutely silent for a few seconds. "You're right, he'd never accept that." She stares down at the floor, obviously fighting with herself. Finally, without looking up, she says, "I'm sorry you had so little trust in your students to let us hear dissenting views from your own."

That hurt, although Kitty doesn't catch the pain flickering across Xavier's face. "Dissenting views and fostering paranoia are . . . different things. And while I do trust that you, or Bobby, or Jubilee would know the difference, I . . ." He pauses, closing his eyes for a moment. "I have been distant for far too long for some of Nathan's accusations to ring as false as they are. Imagine what Sarah would do if given reason to suspect I was influencing her thoughts. And while the distance is my own fault, I cannot build trust if someone is tearing it down behind me."

Kitty starts to open her mouth to say something, but pauses as Sarah is brought up into the conversation. Yes... but... "Why do they all have to trust you," she finally says. "So Sarah doesn't trust you? So what? It's not all that likely she's going to anyway." And doing this makes me trust you less...

"No one has to trust me, although my gift makes it a rare enough commodity that I treasure every iota of trust I earn. But I am trying to make of this school a place where mutants can feel safe, which they will not do if they believe they will be conscripted into a war, or that their thoughts are being spied on. I wish it hadn't come to this, but it did--through my fault as much as Nathan's, if not more--and I had to make the least damaging choice." He holds Kitty's gaze, his expression grave and sad. "I am truly sorry that my decision hurt you. Under other circumstances I could have imagined few better mentors for you than Nathan. Whatever else can be said of him, he is one of the great minds of our time."

Kitty breaks his gaze, looking down again. "Fine," she says. "I don't like it, and I can't really say I agree or understand, but it's not like it was ever my decision."

"It was not an easy decision, and it cost me a friend--and, it seems, the respect of a student. I hope you never face one like it."

"Oh, sir, you haven't lost my respect," she says quietly. "I may be upset but..." She looks up again. "Not that, I promise."

Xavier smiles. "That means a very great deal to me, Kitty. I'll try not to strain your regard much further in future. Now--if you don't mind my asking, how far had the two of you gotten with your powers? I noticed during the hurricane that you're able to phase other people safely--that's wonderful work, I've been meaning to tell you how proud of you I am."

She flushes slightly. "Yes, I can. We've... we had been working on different ways of thinking around the assorted problems. It's pretty much come down to anything I can think of as an extension of myself I can phase, even if it's a live, or much bigger than I am. I'm not sure, but I think I'd be able to do that in chains - people holding onto other people and phasing them all out, or phasing people who are connected to objects by just touching the object."

"Well, we can certainly explore that possibility; perhaps the next time, ah--" He quirks an eyebrow. "'Xavier's Army' meets? I was going to use that venue to start working with Jamie this week, but I see no reason why I can't help you as well."

Kitty hesitates at the use of the name. She's caught the reference, and it amuses her, but still... "Um, sure, I guess that would work. God knows working with Jamie gives me enough guinea pigs for any experiment I might want to try."

"I can imagine it would. More than he thinks, in fact, if what Henry and I suspect is true." He smiles slightly. "Although I think I will insist that it be called 'miscellaneous powers study' from now on, and make it an official class; my teaching load is rather light this term. I appreciate the sentiment, but I think the joke has perhaps run its course."

"Mmm, yes," is all Kitty says. "What is it you and Doctor McCoy are thinking about Jamie these days?"

"Henry's theory more than mine--he believes that since Jamie's dupes are all identical, if he allows them more autonomy each dupe ought to be able to handle its own set of dupes. I believe he compared it to a server, hooked up to several other servers, but only using them as workstations."

Kitty nods. "I can kind of see that, yes. How are you going to explain it to _him_ though?"

"I'm not entirely sure. Any suggestions?"

Kitty leans back, shaking her head. "I'm not sure. I can think about it if you want."

"Please do; I'd appreciate the input. I've come to know him rather well lately, but I'm sure you have a better idea of how he thinks than I do."

"Alright," Kitty agrees.

"Thank you. Is there anything else you'd like to talk about, while we're here?"

"No, sir, I don't think so."

Charles nods. "If you do think of anything, my door is always open. I'll see you in class on Monday, then, if not before?"

Kitty stands up and nods back. "Yes sir." She remains unhappy about the whole matter, but is at least willing to accept it.

"Good night, Kitty. I am sorry it turned out this way."

Kitty nods again. "Me too, sir. Have a nice night." She turns and heads out of the room.

As the door closes, Xavier wheels over to the window and stares out over the darkened grounds, but the night holds even less reassurance than he was able to give Kitty, and finally he turns away from his reflection in the glass.