Paige; broken

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I open my eyes
I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light
I can't remember how
I can't remember why
I'm lying here tonight

And I can't stand the pain
And I can't make it go away
No, I can't stand the pain


She'd been sitting in the bathroom, bandaging up her hand, when they'd called her down. Paige didn't know why she came back afterwards. Her brain telling her if nothing else, she might as well finish up with her hand, maybe. Whatever the reason, it was several hours later, and she was still staring at her hand, cradled in her lap. The long fingers curled in, ever so slightly, the knuckles bruised and scraped, a light spattering of freckles on the pale skin and the wrappings rolled out and dragging on the floor.

The hallway had been so quiet when she'd closed the door after her. She supposed she should be gasping, should be running for a place to hide, but all she could think of was how quiet it was. The low murmur of voices from the room she'd just exited brought her back and she blinked, turning her head towards the stairwell.

Off the trainee team. She was off the trainee team. Off... the trainee team? Off. The trainee team. Off, the trainee team. Off the. Trainee. Team. Off the trainee team. Off...

She couldn't make it make sense.

Shrieking as if suddenly waking from a dream, Paige tore the bandages off her hand, throwing them feebly against the wall. It was only then that she started to cry, not the kind of tears of letting go, but the wracking sobs that seemed to go on forever and served no purpose. She couldn't stop. Unwrapping an arm from around herself carefully, Paige reached to tug a piece of tissue free, only to hear a long ripping noise. There was a moment of pause before she slowly pushed up her sleeve to see that her skin had split up to her elbow.

No longer afraid to look, as if accepting her fate, Paige tore the remaining skin away. The bruises, welts, and slashes remained, angrier than ever, but this time were joined by sores, scabs, rot... Paige looked down at herself calmly, piling her hair on top of her head to examine herself fully.

I'm a monster. I'm a monster. I'm a monster.

It all made sense.

Everybody's screaming
I try to make a sound but no one hears me
I'm slipping off the edge
I'm hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again

How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
Got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me