LOG: Haroun and Alison - Apologies

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Haroun's in Snow Valley, visiting the graves of his deceased classmates. This time of year always hits hard for him, and this year is no exception. But this year he has much to talk to his former team-mates about before Alison shows up to bring him back home.


Another dream that will never come true
Just to compliment your sorrow
Another life that I've taken from you
A gift to add on to your pain and suffering
Another truth you can never believe
Has crippled you completely
All the cries you're beginning to hear
Trapped in your mind, and the sound is deafening

Disturbed, Prayer




The rain was pouring down, striking the pavement with a steady hammering sound, adding to the overall greyness of the cemetery. Holding up the umbrella, Alison looked in the direction the gatekeeper had pointed towards while shaking his head gravely. As the man slowly walked off to tend to his duties, she took a slow breath. Wet earth and a hint of freshly mown grass, along with the overwhelming scent of dampness and rain reached her, entirely fitting as she looked around before starting to walk down the path. The chill that came with the rain caused her to tug the light leather jacket she was wearing closer, what showed of her white blouse standing out starkly against the black leather.

A flash of color caught her attention and she paused a moment to find it again, finally spotting a batch of flowers nestled against a headstone, small bouquet of wildflowers, holding up with perfect aplomb despite the rain. The rain drops on the petals seemed to stand out, augmenting the already blazing dashes of color that broke through the dullness of the stone behind them and Alison found herself smiling at them, just a bit.

And then her reason for being there took over. Focusing back on the path she continued, following the directions she'd been given, her progress steady and uninterrupted until she reached her goal.

Haroun knelt by a particular row of gravestones. The details were too muddled by the rain to make it out clearly, but he had clearly been there for a great long while. His thin blue button-down was absolutely soaked down to the skin and then some from the rain, and his head was uncovered, showing a few days' worth of stubble on scalp and face both. He seemed to be having a conversation with the headstone, judging by how he bent his head close to the stone as one would to a conversation partner who was a little hard-of-hearing.

The dead, you see, are very hard of hearing.

It was easy to go unheard in the din of the rain falling on stones and ground alike. The first sign that someone was there was likely the fact that despite the downpour continuing around him, there was no longer any rain falling upon him. Leaning forward carefully, Alison angled the umbrella just a bit more so that it covered Haroun entirely, then waited patiently without saying a word.

Haroun didn't register immediately that the rain had stopped falling upon his cold and clammy skin. It was only flesh anyway. Haroun blinked as he refocused his attentions on the here-and-now, and not the then-and-gone. "Wha?" he said, then craned himself around to look at who had the audacity to block the rain falling down on him. He wasn't even sure he knew when it had started raining. "What are you doing here?" he asked her harshly. "Go back to Westchester. I still have some days left of leave."

"So do I." Speaking calmly, Alison looked him over, noting the signs of exhaustion and general lack of care and repressing the impulse to start a soft glow to warm him up. For now. In a few minutes, however, she might give in to that. Rain trickled down the edge of the umbrella and as large as it was, it still hit the back of her coat lightly before starting to wind down the leather, leaving a darker track to mark its path. "And as for why I'm here..." She trailed off, watching him for a moment longer before letting her gaze drift towards the headstone he'd been whispering to.

The name on the tombstone was legible at this close range, even through the downpour. The actual name was obscured by sheets of water, but the carving beneath that was clear enough. Brainiac. "Just apologizing to an old friend." he said, patting the tombstone. "He wanted to know what was going on in my life, and I was telling him. I ... I would have liked for him to meet you." he said, before turning away for a moment to fight for control. "You would have liked him, I think. He was irrepressible."

He's spoken of him before. Just a little bit each time, as though the good memories were continuously edged with something else. She glanced down the row of headstones, several of them bearing a similar date and stepped closer to Haroun, resting one hand on the soaked fabric covering his shoulder. It was guilt of still being there, when others were not.

"I would have liked to meet him too." She wasn't looking at anything but Haroun at that moment, though anything else she might have said was instead replaced by tightening of the hand on his shoulder, ever so slightly.

Haroun's shoulder was rock-tight from tension. "He helped me. Took me under his wing, eased my adjustments to America, to this place." he said, face leaking tears. "And I let him die. I let them all die. Because I wasn't here." And at that he broke down completely, sagging against the tombstone.

The umbrella wavered, and finally Alison let it fall to the side, setting it to the ground even as she kneeled next to Haroun. "Oh, love..." The hand on his shoulder slid around to draw him closer to herself, soon joined by the other as she held him as best she could. "He'd wouldn't want you to torment yourself over his death, would he?" she wasn't sure he would hear her through the crying - or would be even ready to hear were he able to.

"I let him die! I let them all die! We were the Hellions, the best and the brightest. The most gifted. We all had our gifts." he sobbed. "I should have been here to help." he moaned. "But I was in Morocco. Just barely off the plane when the call came in to my parents. He begged me to come back, that they were under attack."

"You didn't let them die," she murmured, still holding on to him tightly. She still barely knew the details, some gleaned from information she'd found in his file, but she knew him and that was all she needed. "How could you know when you left for Morocco that something like that would happen? How do you know you simply wouldn't have just died as well if you'd been here?" The rain was quickly working it's way down the back of her jacket, the soft leather having shielding her only momentarily before becoming entirely irrelevant.

"I would have rather died." he said softly. "If I could bring them back by putting myself in their place, I would take it in a heartbeat." he added. "They had everything to live for, and me? I'm halfway there already. Wouldn't take much." he added morosely. "God, I miss them so much..."

It was a good thing, Alison thought, that it was raining and that her face was already wet. And perhaps he hadn't notice the hurt that hit bone deep at his words, even though she'd entirely forgotten to breathe for a moment there. "I'd miss you..." Her voice was low, coloured with nearly every emotion she was feeling at that moment. "I would miss you..."

Haroun nodded. "I know." he said. "And I feel so guilty for feeling this way, but I do. There were nine of us. Now there is just one." He said. "I've been telling him all about you, you know." he said. "Asking forgiveness for trying to move on."

Turning her head just a bit, so that her cheek was leaning against his shoulder and she was looking away, Alison nodded, the rain falling on her skin in a regular rhythm. Now wasn't the time and she buried away her fears and tried to dismiss the ache his words had produced, tucking it away and out of sight. She wasn't sure anymore there was anything she could say that would matter in light of his words, though, but she could listen, at least. She could do that.

"They seem to think it's OK, but I don't know." he added obliviously. "I mean, they sacrificed themselves and presumably hid my existence, as they never came after me. So in some respects, I owe them my life." he said. "What there is of it, anyway." he added after a moment. "Still, I like to think that I've evened the scales a little - for each bad guy put away, or into the ground, it helps make their sacrifice mean something more."

Closing her eyes for a moment, Alison took a deep breath then pulled back to look at him, giving him a small, sad smile. 'There's so much worth living for', she wanted to tell him, but talking was still beyond her. So instead she pressed her lips to his forehead gently and then pressed one hand to his cheek, letting him talk and work it out. Whichever way it turned out.

Haroun reached an internal compromise. "Damn. When did it start raining?" he asked, blinking as rain rolled across his face and into his eyes. "What time is it?" he asked Alison, looking up at her for the first time.

She wondered, lips quirking a bit, if he'd even realized when she'd slipped onto his lap to hold him. "It's three in the afternoon." A pause. "Wednesday." She looked up as well, the rain still a touch cool and started to glow just a little, focusing on a warm light rather than radiance itself. "It's been raining ever since my flight landed. Took a taxi here."

Haroun blinked, and then his stomach rumbled. Audibly. "OK, I think I need to take a shower, then some dry clothes, and then food. Lots of food." he said, blinking again as he had an Alison practically sitting on him. "Might not want to do that. I'm soaked to the skin and I stink."

"But I've been doing that for a while. And I'm about as wet as you are," she murmured, a lock of wet hair falling sloppily on the side of her face as though to prove this fact. "But you do need a shower, yes," she added, after a moment's consideration. "And food." Another pause, where she looked him over carefully. "Want to go do that?"

Haroun shook his head. "I'm staying at the Holiday Inn. It's just down the road, you can't miss it." he said, then shed his shirt and extended his jetpack. "In this pour, no-one will see me." He commented.

"Okay," she nodded quietly, rising to her feet as well, belatedly claiming the previously discarded umbrella though she didn't swing it over her head for protection from the rain. "I'll see you there..."

Haroun nodded. "Room 527." he said before blasting off into the rain and the clouds of the pouring rain.

Alison watched him go for a moment, before tucking the umbrella under her arm, slowly walking towards the cemetery entrance.