Jay & Kyle, backdated to Friday (5/20)

[x-icarus.livejournal.com]

Set last Friday. Kyle and Jay finally talk about their fight from February. Kyle apologizes and Jay mocks him, but they come to an understanding of sorts.


All the comments about Kyle - and Catseye and Rahne and the rest of the supernose set being able to smell fear aside, there wasn't much more than fear or wanting to have sex with somebody that Kyle could smell.

It didn't mean he couldn't figure out that Jay was avoiding him. The atmosphere in the suite was at best, distant and at worst, cold avoidance punctuated with brief periods of sniping at each other. All because he'd said something stupid.

Okay, and then attacked Jay for no good reason, but mostly the saying something stupid. Something he didn't even really mean to say.

His gramma always said that you didn't apologize about something unless you intended to fix it, and while Kyle wasn't sure he knew how to fix it, he figured being decent to Jay might be a good start. Not avoiding him, not making excuses to go to the gym or to the rec room just as Jay got in the rooms.

Before he could talk himself out of it, Kyle got up, and knocked with the back of his hand on Jay's door. Now was a good of a time as any to apologize for being a giant ass. And if he didn't do it now, he'd keep forgetting and putting it off until it was too late.

"'You are still a whisper on my lips,'" Jay sang softly, absently strumming his guitar. He hadn't played much since the night at the club, but with Paige's departure and news of this SOG crap, he needed the comfort that six strings and a wooden body could offer. "'A feeling at my fingertips that's pullin' at my skin.'"

The knock at the door was louder than the music. "C'min," he said loudly enough to be heard before turning back to the guitar. Hopefully it was Terry and not someone involved with this week's drama.

Jay'd been singing. Kyle was never sure if that was a good sign or a bad one, but it had to be better than brooding. Unless Jay could brood and sing at the same time, which was always possible. Either way, he wasn't saying "Go away and leave me the hell alone!", so Kyle pushed the door open slowly.

"I'm not bugging you am I?" .. ~No, wait, idiot. of course you're bugging him.~. Kyle shook his head and frowned. "Shit. I know I am. You got a minute though?"

Jay made a personal note to ask who's at the door next time someone knocked. He couldn't help the scowl that appeared when he saw Kyle. "What?" he asked curtly, not moving from his bed or even putting his guitar down. He was at least polite enough to not continue playing, although his fingers were poised to resume at a moment's notice.

Kyle figured that was gonna happen. He wasn't Jay's favorite person - hell, he was half sure he was Jay's least favorite person. "I know it’s probably hell and gone too late, but I wanted to apologize. And tell you that I was an asshole for being, well, an asshole about you liking guys and not girls."

"That was three months ago," Jay reminded Kyle, although the way he said it suggested that it wasn't that Jay'd forgotten and moved on, but that Kyle had waited an awfully long time to apologize.

"I know. I really suck." Kyle said. "I'm not asking for you to decide everything's okay, because well, that'd be assholeish, and I'm trying not to be one. But I figured even with it being a couple of months, I should say something. Better than not saying anything at all, right?" God, he hoped that was right, because he couldn't come up with anything else to do to even start fixing it.

Jay looked at Kyle. Really looked at him. Measured him up, making notes of body language and facial expression. For all Jay could tell, Kyle seemed sincere. It didn't excuse him, but of all the homophobes whom Jay had met, Kyle was the least dangerous by far. It'd do no good to hold a grudge against him. "Ah s'pose," is all he said, waiting to hear what else Kyle had to say.

"I guess..." How the hell was he supposed to explain this? Just blurt it out. "I don't have a problem with you liking guys, Jay. I just didn't .. I had a problem with you and Forge having sex. I mean, I know you didn't, I just ... if you did? I just didn't wanna know about it."

This wasn't working, Kyle thought. All the words he was trying to say came out all stupid, and he was already getting frustrated and upset. Which meant he probably needed to go calm the hell down, but that wasn't going to help either, just stalking off to go hit the heavy bag in the gym. Hell, for all he knew, that'd make it worse.

At the time, the thought of him and Forge together was just the least bit gross. Of all the men Jay could've fallen for, he'd never have put Forge anywhere near the top of his list. But things changed, and he knew it, and he couldn't hide the blush at Kyle's remark. But he tried, looking down and hoping his long hair would hide his face.

"What is your problem with it exactly?" he asked, hoping to keep Kyle on his toes so he wouldn't notice anything. "Ya don't get on no one else's case 'bout sex, 'cept that they smell."

"It’s distracting!" Kyle blurted out, and visibly winced. "Even when it's people I don't think I'd wanna have sex with, I mean." Hell, it was, too. He didn't want anything to do with Manuel and the guy smelled like sex more than anyone Kyle knew, and it was still distracting. "My room doesn't smell like sex. I like it that way."

"Then I'll fuck in mah room," Jay informed him, and immediately regretted saying so. Because there was no fucking, and there would be no fucking. No matter how much he wanted it.

*Whap* Kyle smacked himself in the face, trying to cover up the look of utter frustration on his face. "It's not that. It's.. Christ, Jay, I was an ass, okay? If you and Forge were gonna do that..." ~ Please, please, please don't. For the love of God, I can't take that kind of distraction.~ "It's his room too. I just . . . Fuck. It’s distracting, not -gross-."

"Fine! Ah get it." Feeling his face cool, Jay raised his head again and shook his hair out of his face. "Sex is distractin', and Lord forbid you get distracted from chasin' bunnies or whatever it is ya do."

"Jay. Fuck, for the love of God, I have enough problems not thinking about sex in the middle of the day, I don't need it while I'm trying to do homework!" Kyle was by now, trying not to die of embarrassment. "Algebra's hard enough without thinking about my roommates naked. Jesus."

Jay's eyebrow shot up at Mach 1. The fact that imagining his roommates naked was distracting and not disgusting . . . One would think that such thoughts would make one more driven to do homework so as to get their mind off the images. "Sorry. Dude, calm yourself."

Kyle rolled his eyes. "You started it. I don't chase bunnies that much." Well, not usually unless he was going to -eat- one. He certainly wasn't going to admit to figuring that he needed to calm the hell down to Jay. That'd make Jay right, and while Kyle was wrong and an ass about some stuff, it didn't mean Jay got to be right either.

This conversation was getting old, and Jay had better things to do than talk to (or even be in the company of) what appeared to be a closeted, self-hating queer. If he was going to be self-hating, at least be open about it, or so Jay believed. "Okay. Ya don't chase bunnies, and ya don't want ta smell sex in the room. All ya wanna do is pass class with minimal distraction. There, got it."

"And no dying of embarrassment. That too." Kyle said, nodding. "I'm fucking this up. Dammit. Because I'm trying to say one thing, and it's coming out totally wrong." He dug his fingers into the palms of his hands. "And now I'm getting all pissed at myself for it, and .. gah. I hate this stupid mutation sometimes." He turned around, intent on leaving before he and Jay ended up beating the crap out of each other. Again. "I just ... 'm sorry. I didn't mean to be an ass."

"No need ta get all bent outta shape," Jay told Kyle, although the tone of his voice wasn't cold anymore. It wasn't particularly nice, either, but at least the mocking was out. "See ya 'round." Which was by far the nicest thing Jay'd said to Kyle in months. Probably ever.