xp_logs | Jay and Terry

Backdated to Friday the 20th, following these emails.

Terry and Jay take a walk outside and talk about what Terry thinks about the SoG, the importance of home and the reason that Terry and Jay are taking Holy Orders. Also featured, threats of bad music and Terry's unfortunate taste in crushes.

Jay had finally shut off his computer when he'd received a response from Terry. Slipping on his flip-flops, he left his room and headed outside. Once out the front doors, he hopped up on the railing and waited for his friend.

Terry took a last glance at the kerfuffle on the journals then turned off her computer and headed downstairs. After her talk with Alison this morning, she'd finally come to a conclusion about the right thing to do in this case and so walked outside with a calm stemming from a resolved conscience. "Hi, Jay." She walked up and leaned on the railing next to him, "Where do you want to go?"

"Hey, Ter." He got back to his feet and dusted off his bottom. "Anywhere but here. The lake, maybe?" As long as no one was likely to intercept them.

She nodded, "That's fine. Whatever you want." They started down the front walk, ambling at a slow pace. Terry didn't offer anything to say just yet, figuring Jay would let her know if he wanted to talk or just walk.

She'd mentioned that she had something to tell him, but Jay wasn't sure if he wanted to have such a heavy talk just yet. "Wings're healin'," he said, striking up conversation. "Still can't really move 'em much, but the feathers are back and they don't ache so much no more. Ah'll be up an' flyin' in no time."

Terry smiled, "You're lucky. Being able to fly." Her hand moved involuntarily towards the bright red feathers but didn't touch them, "Some of you here have all the luck."

"Ah'll take ya up sometime," he offered. "It's . . . well, people who don't fly talk about how it's gotta be so liberatin' and powerful and all that. Ah don't think so, but, well, it's nice and it feels different, Ah guess, ta be grounded."

"Can you do that?" Terry asked, surprised, "Carry me I mean? I'd think it would be a lot to carry. Like the swallows and coconuts."

"Well, even though you're so fat and all," he teased, grinning, "Ah think Ah can manage ta carry you. Ah can maintain air-speed velocity easily. S'not like Ah haveta holdja in mah talons and beat mah wings forty-three times a second ta stay up in the air."

Terry looked impressed nonetheless, "Let me say again, it must be nice to fly. Beats walking anyway." She was silent for a little while, tilting her face back to the sunshine, "Summer will be here soon. I miss home when it gets hot here."

"You gonna get a chance ta go visit home sometime this summer?" Jay asked her. "Clarice'd probably getcha up there easy iffn ya asked nicely."

"I don't know. I'd like to see the Keep but…it's Sean's home, not mine. And he'd never let me without going himself." She shook her head, "I'll wait til I'm of age and he can't tell me what to do. It's only a bit longer and the Keep isn't going anywhere."

Jay wasn't clear on why exactly Terry and her father didn't get along. But he knew what it was like to be estranged from family, so he didn't comment on that. "So you're just gonna stay here? Ah was thinkin' of goin' home, 'cept there really isn't anythin' for me there. Well, there's the band, of course, but if Ah went ta Kentucky then Ah'd have ta live with mah family, and that never goes well."

"I've spent every summer here since Sean sent me away. Four…almost five years I guess it's been." Terry thought back and decided that was accurate. "We didn't get along and his job was more important. Family is a strange thing. I never knew my mother though the way my uncle talked she was an angel. And Uncle Tom was more a father to me than Sean has ever been."

"Iffn ya don't mind me askin'," Jay tentatively began, hoping this wasn't a sore subject, "Where is your uncle now? Why don't'cha go visit him?"

"He's in gaol. Domestic terrorism." Terry stared resolutely at the ground. Most people never asked about Tom. Whether it was common knowledge or just enough wariness to know that he was bad news, her uncle remained a subject off the table. She missed him. "I don't believe he'll ever get out. He wanted to send me here to protect me. Would have too if Sean hadn't showed up. Instead I had to try living with this new father who hadn't even known I was alive."

Now that was something Jay wasn't expecting. The man who raised Terry was a criminal? In a way, that would partly explain why she and Sean weren't on good terms. Criminal uncle and policeman father . . . no, not such fun family dynamics. "Oh." He placed a hand on her shoulder and softly squeezed it in what he hoped was a comforting gesture. This Uncle Tom being in jail for life didn't say anything about what kind of person Terry is, as far as he's concerned.

She shrugged her other shoulder, "Yeah. Tom Cassidy may not have been the best of men but he raised me as best he could. I never lacked for anything and I always felt loved. We didn't have a perfect live but it wasn't as horrible as all that." Her voice was fiercely defensive but she sighed. "Anyway, yeh don't want to hear about that."

"Well, t'ain't exactly what Ah wanted ta come out here ta talk about, but iffn anybody ever gives ya shit about it, ya know ya can come ta me." He took his hand back and stuffed them both into his pockets. They could see the lake sparkling in the sunshine as they approached it, and Jay had to admit how tempting it was to damn it all and just fly above the beautiful scene.

"Only Sean and as yeh've heard, I can hold my own there." Her lips quirked into a smile. "So what do yeh want to talk about?" Having slipped into her accent it felt more natural to stay with it than force it back to the still unnatural American one she'd cultivated in the last four years.

"Well, ya said that'cha have somethin' ta tell me," he said, unable to hide the smile that grew upon hearing her accent. It was charming, in a way, and also kind of sexy.

"Aye, that I did. About that group of Jubilee's." Terry sighed. She wanted to tell him the truth but didn't want to cause more trouble. She'd decided on a middle road. "They didn't mean to hurt yeh. She asked if I wanted to join and I said no but I don't think they meant harm. Catseye made it sound worse than it was."

"Ah don't think they did, neither," Jay replied slowly, his earlier conversation with Scott coming to mind. "Ah mean, Ah don't think they sat down and said, 'Hey, how 'bout we piss them Guthries off? That'd be fun!' But they didn't think it through, and the consequences it had . . . Well, Ah made mah opinion known pretty clear."

Terry looked up at him, "Yeh don't really believe that Paige left because of them, do yeh?" She put her hand out and touched him lightly, stopping him so she could turn to face him, "Sure it can't be as bad as all that?"

Jay stopped walking and looked down. He chewed on his lip as he thought about Terry's question. "Ah dunno. Mr. Summers said that she didn't, that the reason she gave was entirely legit. Without the X-Men, she didn't have nuthin' here, but MIT and Harvard do. But, Ah dunno. She had Angelo and Jono and Sam and me . . ." He recited those names sadly, because he knew that she didn't really have them. Jay didn't see Angelo around very much so Lord knows where he spent his time, Jono was a ball of light, and the relationships among the Guthrie siblings was far from optimal. But still.

"Leaving doesn't mean yer gone forever. So long as yeh have yer home…" She shrugged, "I don't need to see the Keep to know it's home. She'll come back." She said it with a confidence she didn't feel, trying to make him feel better though she didn't think it would work.

"Ah don't know no more," Jay admitted, hanging his head in shame. "Ah don't know nuthin' 'bout Paige. Mah own sister, and Ah don't . . . S'mah fault, y'know. How many chances did Ah have ta make things right, and how many of 'em did Ah blow?"

"Less than me and Sean." Terry said firmly. "Do yeh know how many times I've had a conversation with Sean that hasn't ended in us yelling? I don't know why he won't give up but he keeps trying." She sighed, "Family is forgiving."

"We usually don't yell at each other. Much. And definitely not like y'all do." Jay looked up again, but he still looked embarrassed. Despite all the problems that existed between Jay and his siblings, and even though none of them were Jay's fault, he still knew that he was at least partially responsible for Paige's leaving. He'd been so insistent on holding a grudge even with all the gestures Sam and Paige offered to reconcile. It only stood to reason that he'd eventually cross a line that would drive them away. "If - when Paige comes back, will she forgive me?" he asked, not really expecting an answer.

"I don't know," Terry said honestly. "Do yeh mean to apologise?"

"Ah s'pose Ah oughtta," Jay replied. "Ah don't . . . Ter, iffn ya tell this ta anyone, Ah swear Ah'll sing ya Britney Spears. In twelve voices." With a sigh, he continued. "Ah miss 'em. Paige and Sam, that is."

She crossed her heart solemnly, "I'll not tell a soul. But maybe yeh should talk to them? Sam, at least, since he's here." She blushed, as she always did when Sam came up. It was particularly embarrassing when talking to his brother.

Fortunately for Terry, Jay was so busy with his own musings that he didn't notice the blush. "'Cept Sam's the harder one ta forgive. And everytime Ah talk ta him, Ah get so angry. Ah knw he tries hard and wants things back ta normal, but Ah dunno if things can be, y'know?"

"I'm not really the best person to say it but, try not to yell?" She acknowledged the absurdity of it with a self-conscious smile, "Things aren't the same as they were but... The last time I fought with Sean, Alison said that once yeh hit the screaming it's hard to say anything anymore."

"Well, that's definitely the case for y'all, now isn't it?" Jay quipped. "Sam and Ah've been good 'bout the shoutin' and screamin'. S'been a while since things went that far. But then again, it ain't like we talk much anyway, and when we do, we keep it short."

"Yeh have to if yeh want things to chance though." Terry pointed out practically. "Yeh have to give it a chance. He's still yer brother. Yeh love him, don't yeh?" That damned blush again.

That wasn't an easy question to answer. Sam was his brother, and he meant well, and he was trying so hard to make things right even when Jay and Paige pushed away with all their might . . . but he was the one who'd made these rifts in the first place. He was the one so consumed with himself that he'd alienated Jay and left him to his own devices when he desperately wanted an older brother.

"Ah s'pose," was the reply.

"So start there." It was what Terry thought Alison would suggest. Alison was usually Terry's guide. Even if it precipitated more blushing. "Yeh'll find other things to talk about. Sure and yeh know that it's just a matter of not giving up."

The blushing was just too obvious to ignore. "What's wrong with you?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. "Are ya hot? Your face is as red as your hair." She wasn't blushing because . . . oh no, she couldn't be.

"It's just warm is all." Terry seized the excuse grateful and pulled her hair back with one hand and fanned herself with the other. Now if he'd just let it go at that…

"Liar," he accused, his lips quirking. "T'ain't even eighty out here. C'mon, Ter, spill. Why the blush?"

"Just the heat. I prefer cooler temperatures is all." She squeaked and ducked her head, trying to hide her burning cheeks. Explaining her continually disastrous taste was not something that she particularly wanted to do.

"'Oh baby baby, how was I supposed to know that something wasn't right here,'" he started singing, pulling only two voices. "Ya better tell me, or Ah'll continue," he threatened.

"Yeh are a terrible person, Jay Guthrie." She shoved him lightly and shook her head, "It's nothing important, I swear. It's not worth inflicting Britney on anyone."

"Fine," he relented, but not without first mock-glaring at her. "Ya wanna head back inside and cool off, then? Ya could do with a cold drink. Maybe Sam could even make ya some lemonade iffn ya asked 'im nicely."

And back came the blush full force. "Stop teasing me!" She covered her face with her hand desperately. "It's not funny."

Jay's laugh demonstrated that actually it was quite funny. "Come off it, Ter. It's all good. Ah won't tell no one, much less Sam. He's, like, a thousand years older than you anyway."

"He's not that much older!" Terry protested automatically then covered her face again with a groan, "Why can't I crush on people who aren't way old or complete bastards? It's not fair."

"Ah hear ya. Ah can't seem ta crush on guys who even like guys in the first place. Sam's inta chicks, at least as far as Ah know." Jay shrugged and began to head back to the mansion. "So you're one up on me."

"If you don't count Alison," Terry muttered, kicking a pebble in front of her. As if realizing that had been an aloud thought, she followed it up with a cheery, "I suppose it could be worse. I could have had a crush on you too."

Jay snorted. "Ah got enough problems crushin' on friends as it is," he muttered. Now it was his turn to blush. But maybe she hadn't heard him . . .

She had but since he hadn't called her on her Alison comment, thank God, she left it alone. "It's just that everyone around here has someone. Everywhere yeh look it's another bloody happy couple."

"Ah thought there was some sorta rule that we ain't allowed ta be involved for so long," Jay commented. "Ah mean, look at what happens 'round here. Ya'd think that love would be one of the things that gets bloodily murdered in this madhouse."

"Maybe us but look at Jamie and Kitty. Or Lorna and Alex. They've been together since they laid eyes on each other practically." Terry shrugged, "It's weird."

Jay surprised himself by managing to not sigh wistfully. Love at first sight. Oh, how clearly he could recall that. "It makes me a bad person that Ah'm jealous as all get out, doesn't it? Wish Ah had that." Still had that, rather.

Terry shrugged, "If yeh are, I am. It's just not fair. I'm doomed to be single forever, I just know it." She said it with the conviction that only sixteen years of life can provide and kicked another rock.

That kind of talk was certainly familiar, and Jay nodded dejectedly. "Well, this is why we're takin' up vows and all that, right? Won't need no one when you're at the convent and Ah'm at the abbey. And hey, Forge agreed ta join us, too. It'll be like a party." Although Jay reckoned he'd violate a number of vows if that were the case.

"Aye, it is. I can't imagine Forge as a monk. Why is he joining our luckless vows of celibacy? He's got plenty of girls crawling all over him every day." Terry didn't have a crush on Forge and she meant to keep it that way but she wasn't blind.

"Yeah, he does," Jay replied dejectedly. "But In a totally non-sexual way, he says. Dani's more like a sister, and Catseye is just affectionate ta everyone she's close to."

Terry shook her head, "I just don't understand. Here, we are, three perfectly attractive people and not a one of us can get a date that doesn't end in disaster. Did we do something terrible in a past life, do yeh think?"

"S'gotta be it," Jay agreed. "We've been jinxed. S'why we can't find ourselves a few good men. The only plausible explanation."

"Cursed by the little people." Terry shrugged, "So much for my people's famed luck."

"If only ya had someone ta nab your Lucky Charms," Jay teased.

She gave him a Look, "Don't make me sing Hank Williams badly at you."

That Look was much more frightening than his threat of Britney. Jay held up his hands, surrendering. "Wouldn't dream of it, darlin'. So what say we drown our sorrows in some Brad and Matt? We got Ocean's 11 'round here, Ah'm sure."

"That's a fair offer," she agreed and looped her arm through his, "I've got two copies, actually. I'll go get one and meet you in the rec room?"

"Ah'll get the popcorn."