Nathan and Alison, Wednesday morning

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Set prior to this post. Nathan finds Alison practicing her Tai Chi down by the lake and asks her for some help in getting over the flinching problem he was having when sparring with Haroun. Tai Chi can be good for big, stubborn, still-somewhat-traumatized ex-mercenaries, too.


It was early, but then, he'd been up for hours, writing that email. Nathan gritted his teeth, pushing the memory of how he'd labored over those few short sentences away as hard as he could. No point in fretting about it. Not until he heard something back, at least.

It was time to address another problem, now. Eyes on the blonde-haired figure down by the lake, running through her Tai Chi, Nathan headed down to join her, mustering a slightly strained smile as Alison straightened and looked around at him inquisitively.

"Sorry to interrupt."

"S'okay." She'd been up earlier than usual to take time to go over the Form on her own, needing to find some sort of stability somehow. And the thought of why she needed that was just enough to throw her a touch off balance again, meaning going through the form a third time would be required. Lips quirking a bit, she walked slowly towards Nathan, arms held loosely by her side - at least the worse of the tension was gone. Though Haroun had done a fair job on a large part of it before she'd headed down, too.

"You... okay?" She blinked, suddenly noticing the reams of tension radiating from Nathan.

"I emailed Saul this morning," Nathan said, without preamble. They had of course talked about the situation - she'd been one of the first people to know, here at the mansion, about the news Madelyn had given him. "Waiting to hear back. Not all that keen on waiting by the computer, for obvious reasons, so I thought I'd come nag you for some help." He offered another, tighter smile. "It was something I've been meaning to ask for a few days, since that first sparring session I had with Haroun. But it's been a bit hectic around here since then."

"Hectic." Alison blinked, then remembered to keep her breathing even to not ruin over an hour of work. "Understatement of the year." She smiled, though a touch wanly to remove the sting from the comment. "You really look like someone could grind stone to dust on you, you're so tense. What did you want to talk about?"

"Actually, I was hoping we could do some constructive not-talking," Nathan said a bit wryly, folding his arms across his chest. "I hadn't had the chance to... address that little problem I had." He didn't know if Haroun had mentioned anything to her, so he took a deep breath and explained. "I have apparently decided that flinching is good."

"Flinching is good...?" Alison blinked once, then another time. And then her eyes widening, connections belatedly being made as she focused on him and what his was saying, her other worries drifting back for a while. "Oh! Oh." She nodded, simply, neither looking entirely surprised nor worried about it. "Any situation in specific? Sparring I'm guessing since you brought that up... Triggers in particular?" She paused, then forced herself to continue. "Still there myself. With some stuff. S'why I'm asking."

"Anything close-in, it seems. It was happening hand-to-hand, even with staffs... I think we can both probably imagine what's causing it." His expression turned bleak, briefly, at the memory of that hallway on Youra. "But it's not something where I can just... get back on the horse. The Askani practice patterns, too... I think they can help, but I don't think they're an answer. They're too fast, and my problem is too much adrenalin, I think. Low-level panic."

She shivered a bit, eyes glancing to the side involuntary to look at the large rock near the lakeshore. The memory was still near and the reference inescapable. Studying him for a moment, she nodded, catching on to why he was here to talk about this to her, at that particular moment. "And you think Tai Chi might help." She considered the notion for all of two seconds - in her opinion, it probably would, to a certain extent at least. But... he needed some form of sparring too, something safe. "Ha. Pushing Hands. Of course. It's perfect." She grinned, suddenly, elated at finding a solution.

"Pushing hands?" Nathan inquired, frowning a little. It rang a bell, but he wasn't sure what that bell was saying. "But yeah, I do think Tai Chi might help. What I've done of it before... it's calming, and I think that's what I need." He stopped, sighing a little. "Well, that and to unwind a little, obviously," he said dryly.

"It's... patterns and energy work, with a partner. Contact at all times, so you'd know where the partner is. And we can set our own speed, so you'd be able to keep things at a level comfortable to you until things just eased to a faster pace. It can be slow or fast, so it's all good. I could show Haroun the basics too, so you'd have another partner for that, later on. Be good for his back too," she added to herself. Once she was done rambling, she paused to give him a pensive look. "You know... not many people know this, but I'm still mildly phobic about magnekinetics. Lorna's been helping me with that." It was surprisingly easy to admit to this, somehow.

"That... sounds ideal," Nathan said, trying to shake off the mild nervousness he nevertheless felt at the idea. Slow, she'd said it could be slow. It would be all right. He took a deep breath, making himself focus on the last thing she'd said. The admission. "I'm not too surprised, after what happened to you in the fall. The mind doesn't let go of things like that so easily... and you'd think I'd be able to acknowledge that when it comes to myself, too." He offered a slightly less steady smile.

"I hadn't even thought of it until I had a Danger Room training session with Lorna and my shield kept going hot. Overdid it on the lasers too. It was all small stuff and I think it was because it was Lorna that it didn't go as badly as it might have. I warped the floor. She fixed it. It just... yeah. She's been helping." Biting her lip, Alison shrugged a bit awkwardly. "Medlab still makes me uncomfortable at times. Too much metal. Can't get out fast." She wasn't tensing up too much though, which she would have when Lorna had started training with her each week to try and help her work things through. "She says I've been doing good progress lately."

The shaky smile steadied a little, went a bit warmer. "I'm glad you've got her to help with that, and the fact that you're making progress doesn't surprise me in the slightest. You're both too stubborn not to, once you've recognized the problem." He chuckled softly, the sound a bit weary. "Or maybe that's the wrong to put it. It isn't stubbornness that gets you through things like this, is it? More like... surrender. You accept that it's affecting you, and you let yourself reorient around that recognition..."

"That's the way to go about it, isn't it?" She didn't comment on how dealing with things wasn't a matter of choice anymore, not going into being a team leader and the responsibilities it entailed. Nathan had been there himself, after all. "Surrendering to yourself isn't such a bad thing. Or to those you trust."

Nathan sighed. "I don't mind telling you how much this rankles. Twenty-five years of hand-to-hand training, and suddenly I'm reacting like I'm fifteen years old and just learning." The emotions involved were very similar, too. He had been just as terrified, if just as determined. "I'll talk to Jack about it, too, of course, but I really do think that the Tai Chi is likely to help."

"Good. I'm sure Jack won't mind you being the one to let him know stuff." It was an entirely unsubtle way of telling Nathan that in doing so, he was doing nothing less than making his own decisions rather than letting the phobia rule him. "And I'll be glad to show you what I can... I'm not a sifu though. I've been working on getting approval as a student-teacher but that's still a while away." Grinning a bit, she tilted her head to the side. "Would you be game to join the regular classes? That'd give you a good grounding and it's all no contact in class anyway." And if anyone could read him in a heartbeat, it would be sifu, Alison thought. Someone was heading for a lot of breathing exercises.

Nathan contemplated the question for all of about five seconds. "Yeah," he said finally. "I think I'd like to do that. If nothing else," he said, more briskly, "it'll help with flexibility and getting me moving a little more smoothly again. Even if it's not a cure for my sudden flinching habit it would still be worthwhile."

Alison nodded shortly, feeling a bit more at ease herself as a consequence. Practicing together was not at all the same as teaching and thus, far more in line with her being a student of Tai Chi as well, and not a master in the least. "Good. I've got meditation going regularly here along with practice sessions for those going. And if you see me practicing on my own, there's a general 'hey, just drop in' sort of thing there." And there were the practice sessions with Haroun, which were staying just that, as well. "And I think it will be. But I'm uttery biased when I say this."

Grinning a bit at that, Alison tilted her head towards the house. "I have a music class with Terry soon and need to take a shower first. How about we talk about it on the way back?"