xp_logs | Rahne and Nathan, very quietly

Backdated to Friday after Nathan goes down to his own suite. Rahne goes in to feed the bird and visit.

He had been dozing in restless, if dreamless sleep, letting his
shields regenerate within the protection Charles was providing.
Bella's soft cooing was what woke him up, and he blinked, unsurprised
when 'Pretty red!' turned out to be Rahne, who appeared to be doing
her best to feed Bella as quietly as possible.

"It's all right," Nathan murmured, watching her. "No need to hush her.
I mean, if she starts screeching you can feel free." He offered Rahne
a somewhat sheepish smile as she turned towards him.

"I hope she's got a bit more sense than that," Rahne said, stroking
bright feathers and handing Bella her last piece of fruit before
stepping over to the couch. "How are ye feeling?"

"Better." He shifted experimentally, sitting up a little. His head
spun, but not in the 'hey, about to fall off here' way. Definitely an
improvement. "I'll be fine, Rahne," he said in an attempt to reassure
her. "Did something a bit dumb meditating this morning, that's all.
The migraine and the shield problems are just my just desserts for
being stupid."

"If I really decide to become a doctor," Rahne replied a bit wryly, "I
wonder if it will be an obstacle to have got too used to the idea
someone can 'do something unfortunate to his brain' and be fine
afterward. Is there anything I can do?"

"Stay for a little while? Could use the company," Nathan said. And it
struck him that he really ought to tell her about Saul, too. He'd told
Amanda, and had assumed - perhaps wrongly? - that Angie probably knew
something about what was going on anyway. Rahne should know, though.

"Gladly." She chose a chair where they could still see each other once
she sat down. "Should I ask what ye did do, or let that lie?"

"I have... memory blocks, that are turning out to be a little awkward
lately," Nathan said with a tiny, wry smile. "I chose a very bad way
of trying to break through them and wound up blowing out my shields.
If Charles hadn't been here I would have been in serious trouble."

He relaxed back against the pillows, gazing at Rahne. She was quiet,
seeming to guess that he had more to say. So he told her, outlining
the whole sequence of events - the finding of his birth certificate,
how it had led the taskforce to Saul, how what he remembered was
apparently not the way his childhood had actually been. "... so I
suppose this was me trying to answer all those questions the fast and
sloppy way," Nathan murmured dryly. "Which is never the right way. I'm
lucky I didn't do worse damage to myself."

"I'm glad ye didna. I can see why ye'd be in a hurry, though. I would.
...Not that there's likely to be anything nearly so complicated in my
family history, whatever that is." She propped her chin on one hand.
"'Tis all very strange."

The contemplative reaction was... nice, Nathan thought, relaxing a
little. "He's... not at all like I expected. Obviously not," he
admitted with a tired chuckle. "But I look like him. And he... I don't
know how to explain. He seems so patient. Which is ironic, since I
went and proved today that I don't take after him in that sense at
all."

"Canna blame ye for that...." Her mouth quirked. "But please, doona do
it again. There's got to be some other way to undo memory blocks, or
find things out... right?"

"The latter, at least," Nathan said, somewhat chagrined. Here he had
Madelyn checking out Saul's story, and Jake checking out Saul's
company, and yet he'd gone blundering ahead trying to sort things out
himself. Was it just stubbornness? He was supposed to have learned how
to rely on people. "But I won't do it again. Promise."

"Good." She offered a warm and somewhat relieved smile. Moira had had
first claim, of course, but hadn't been the only one to want to see
for herself that Nathan was all right, after that post of Dr. Grey's.
"I doona suppose the Askani had any suggestions...?"

"I'm beginning to realize, with all of this, just how dependent she is
on what I perceive," Nathan said almost distantly, trying to listen
for Askani again. She had been dead-silent since the 'incident'. He
could still sense her, and Charles had reassured him that there was no
damage on that level, but she hadn't spoken to him. He didn't think it
was pique, either. More like... caution. "She's as lost as I am when
it comes to sorting it all out."

"I was thinking maybe telepathic techniques, but I suppose if they had
ideas on that, they would have mentioned, and it didna quite work in
this case." Rahne ducked her head a bit sheepishly. "Doona mind me;
I'd not thought it through."

"My poor screwed-up excuse for a mind does not always respond
predictably to telepathic techniques," Nathan murmured, "even with the
conditioning gone. Charles has some ideas, but..." He felt color
rising in his cheeks again. "They're subtle ideas. Things that are
liable to take weeks, or months. And like I said, I lost patience all
at once there. Not that that's an excuse."

"I canna imagine it would be easy to wait for. Not once ye started
wondering." Rahne shifted close enough to reach for his hand and
squeeze it. She didn't want him hurting himself again, but as she
didn't have any helpful advice herself, sympathy seemed a lot more
fitting than scolding. "But I do hope Professor Xavier's ideas clear
it up. And not too slowly, after all."

"I've had a few too many shocks these last few weeks," Nathan said a
bit helplessly. "Between this, and the baby manifesting in the womb...
it just seems like everything's happening so fast. And yet I can't
keep up, because I'm still trying to solve the mystery of why I
apparently misremember my childhood..." He squeezed Rahne's hand
gently. "I just wish I could... accept this. I want to."

"Too many people lying to ye, too much of yuir life?" Mistra.... She
shook her head. "Ye said he was patient... if he's how he seems, he'll
wait for ye, aye?"

"That would be the ultimate proof, wouldn't it?" Nathan asked with a
rueful sigh, then gave her a curious look. "Would you... like to meet
him, if you had the chance?"

Rahne blinked. "I hadna thought about it, but... Aye, why not?"

"I... was thinking earlier about it. He doesn't... I mean, I haven't
told him about Moira yet. I tell him that I'm getting my life under
control, and yet I haven't told him any of the details. He doesn't
know anything about the people who are most important to me..."

"I'd like to," she said, "if and when ye want."