xp_logs | Nathan and Shan, Monday evening

Nathan heads down to the library to talk to Shan about getting some new books in for a student's independent study. The conversation takes an interesting turn, and we find out that Shan's choice to avoid public discussions about psionic mutations and all their attendant issues doesn't mean she doesn't have opinions. There is a certain amount of parent/expectant-parent bonding as well.

The halls were still quieter than usual, Nathan had realized as he headed downstairs to the library. People starting to reread that book? He smiled a bit tiredly as he walked through the library and saw Shan sitting at her desk.

"Afternoon," he said, walking over. "Empty place you've got here today. Unless there are people hiding in the back carrels." His head was a little fuzzy still, his telepathy a bit off, but he didn't think there was anyone else in the library.

"Hi," Shan said, with a wry grin, closing her book (not a copy of the new Harry Potter, but rather a worn textbook on developing literacy in children). "Nope, we're pretty empty today - though, for once, it's because people are reading, so, really, I can't complain. What can I do for you?"

"I have a student who, believe it or not, wants to read the major works of Jared Diamond for her independent study project this summer. 'Collapse' and the like, I gather. I called her a masochist and she laughed at me." Nathan snorted, leaning against the desk. "Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the enthusiasm."

Shan made a sympathetic face. "It's always so nice to see the young and energetic enthused," she said drily, pulling up the catalog (and banishing a halfway-played game of Minesweeper) with a few practised keystrokes. "Looks like we've got Collapse and Guns, Germs, and Steel - two copies of that, actually, someone must have been a fan in a previous library regime - and a copy - no, it's missing - of Why Is Sex Fun?, but nobody's ever wanted any of the others, looks like." She pursed her lips, making a few extra passes in the catalog. "How do those two do to start? I can get the rest on order relatively quickly - unless your student is a mutant speed-reader and doesn't need more than a few days to plow through?"

"The two should be all right for now. Maybe order in another two or three for her? 'Why Is Sex Fun?' sounds interesting," Nathan said dryly. "Potentially disturbing, but interesting."

"I haven't read it, personally," Shan said cheerfully, "but I would be happy to get some more in, of course, especially if there's a demand among the student body..." She paused, then added cheerfully, "Plus, the titles are kind of fun."

"Pop stuff," Nathan said with a dismissive shrug. "But, if it gets them into more serious reading, so much the better." He laughed suddenly. "I wonder if there are any pop titles out there on psionics.... surely there must be."

"I think there might be some that qualify," Shan said thoughtfully, scribbling down the author's name and "3x" on a pad of paper to her right. "I've mostly read up on the ethics, but I recall reading some relatively tame tripe on the uses of psionic mutations in the armed forces - we've got one book in the library on telepathic mutations as a metaphor for the adolescent struggle to connect to others or something like that. Strictly suburban journalism, really. From my misspent youth," she added, rolling her eyes self-deprecatingly.

Nathan cracked a smile. "I just thought that a little reading material might be a good idea. Given that there seems to be a growing amount of miscommunication and misunderstanding on the subject of psionic abilities around here..."

"I noticed that," Shan agreed wryly. "I think there's a certain amount of misinformation operating on the way receiving psions work - it's not something I believe people are particularly comfortable with. And then," she added, with a smile that was somewhat amused and not really judgmental, "the mutant teen angst."

"Or the adult mutant soon-to-be-father angst," Nathan pointed out a bit ruefully. He spotted the empty chair to one side and tugged at it with a flicker of telekinesis, ignoring the way his head throbbed briefly in protest. "You know, I ought to be looking on my daughter as a perfect opportunity to raise a psi without the traumas that come along with adolescent manifestations. Only now I'm worrying about all new traumas."

"It's got to be better than living in fear that one of your four-year-olds is suddenly going to develop the ability to turn everything into sugar," Shan told him, grinning. "You're lucky, in a way. You know there's gonna be trouble. My parents didn't have a clue until my brother accidentally possessed a policeman." Whether or not that had been an accident... well, it didn't matter so much. "And," she added, more thoughtfully, "you're in the right place for a mutant baby, at least."

"My son was X-gene positive," Nathan said, the smile fading just a little. "I remember wondering how he would manifest, how we'd deal with it... comparing the two situations, they do both have their pros and their cons. And yes, we are most definitely in the right place. Charles, I think, is positively salivating at the idea of teaching her 'properly' right from day one."

"The twins are, too. Both of them." Shan smiled fondly. "But I think, on the whole, being able to train a psion while they're still developing - it's like learning languages. Kids do it so fast, there's nothing to unlearn. No bad habits - or attitudes - to get in the way."

"One hopes." Nathan gave her a thoughtful look. "You knew I've had a couple of cracks at private lessons with Manuel, right?" he asked. Their various misadventures had been staff-room gossip often enough.

Shan nodded. "I've heard about it. From the sound of it, he's a - challenging - student," she ventured delicately.

"It's nearly an impossible situation," Nathan said with a sigh, "everything he's been through, how it's damaged him. I was over my head the first time, and this second time... I'm not absolutely sure it's ended, but..." He stopped, shook his head. "You don't need to hear me ramble on," he said wryly. "Trying to teach a psi... I don't think I can say it's harder than teaching other mutants, but the complications are unique. Starting with the fact that we're walking violations of hundreds of years of moral philosophy."

Shan nodded. "There's a fear that people will lose identity, or the individual self," she agreed. "Both psis and the people around them. I've noticed Manuel in particular has had some issues with control, and with - well, socializing, I guess. I imagine it would be very difficult to teach any kind of psi who resists the teaching." She frowned, not displeased so much as in thought. "It takes a particular kind of responsibility from psis, I think," she said eventually, "to deal with the impact of their powers on themselves and those around them. Mostly, I think it comes down to being able to live with them. It seems like a lot of young psis rebel against the idea of having something thrust upon them that they don't like and don't want. And naturally, they want the people in charge to fix it." She cast Nathan a somewhat arch look, as though to say, This would be us.

Nathan gave her a small smile. "In my case, I feel like I'm just a step ahead of them. My telepathy was barely developed before I came here... now it's..." Getting to be a little more developed than he really liked to think about. "Although I find the double standard entertaining, I have to say. Some of the kids here who'd cheerfully get involved in a pro-mutant protest march are terrified of psis."

Shan shook her head, smiling a little. "I can understand why they're afraid - though, to be honest, it's a little bit silly when anyone, even non-mutants, can be dangerous if they want to. Psis present that sci-fi fear that mass mind-control is possible and probable." She wrinkled her nose, somewhat self-conscious. "I think that's why I prefer to keep my nose out of powers discussions. I don't think some of them would ever come to the library if they remembered that the librarian could possess them."

"Yeah... yours is not an entirely comforting variant, is it?" Nathan asked, with a grin. "Not that basic telepathy is much more reassuring, and empathy seems to scare the crap out of nearly everyone..." He paused, thoughtfully. "I need to read more philosophy," he concluded. "Find out where the concept of the inviolability of your own thoughts originated."

"I'm not much of a philosopher," Shan replied, considering it, "but I've noticed that it is - not worse, but more pronounced, in the West. Classic liberal individualism. The focus on the self and the goals of the self, not on the family - or whatever collective you want. And also, until fifty years ago, it was pretty universally accepted that no one could read your thoughts, so they were supposed to be that way." She sighed. "Which presents an interesting dilemma for the theologists and scientists, and a practical problem for the rest of us, as to where to draw the line."

"Cultural variations... I hadn't thought of it like that." Nathan's grin broadened. "I should do some comparative reading. Or, you know, ask Charles. Who could probably answer in ten minutes what would take me weeks of reading to figure out."

"He has that talent," Shan said, grinning back, not without a brief tinge of hero-worship at the mention of Professor Xavier. Old habits died hard. "The man certainly doesn't lack for sheer broad knowledge. But Asia - at least my part of it - was a lot more focussed on the negative effects of mutation vis-a-vis the family, or the country, rather than the individual. Of course," she amended, "the laws are skewed that way too."

"It's a pity that it really does make sense for you to stay out of powers discussions," Nathan said whimsically. "They could very often use a fresh perspective." He shook his head again. "Life was so much simpler when I was just mostly a telekinetic."

"I'll bet it was. And, well, really, they could use any kind of perspective, sometimes," Shan said with a quiet smile, careful not to sound harsh. "People get very wrapped up in their own heads. Sometimes I think psis do worse than anyone else, for fear of not being able to later."

"Speaking of perspective... having been in contact with the baby's mind the last little while has given me some, I think," Nathan said with a smile that was undoubtedly a bit on the blissed-out side. But he figured Shan would understand. "I used to look at my telepathy as a burden, something that made things harder. This past year, developing it, it's scared me at times. But when she reaches out to me, or Moira, or Charles, there's no fear. Just curiosity and delight."

"Happy babies are the best drug in the whole world," Shan said, her smile widening in reminiscence - not quite matching Nate's for bliss, but certainly on the same page. "It must be the most amazing thing, to have her reaching out to you. I couldn't even feel the twins except when I was too frustrated to do anything but figure out what they needed, and . . . yeah. That's something to hold on to. It's hard, but there are those perfect moments that you remember forever . . . " Her face fell theatrically. "Then they grow up and get to read the family copy of Harry Potter before you do. It's tragic."