xp_logs | Log: Forge, Dani (on the farm)

While vacationing at the McCoys' farm, Dani manages to track down Forge and make some headway to talking him out of his funk, and discovering that Charlie's not the only crisis weighing on his mind.

Any other time, Forge would have thought of this as the ideal way to
spend a hot July morning. Stretched out under the sun, a soft breeze
ruffling the wheat fields in the distance, and the sun playing off the
small pond in front of him. Out on the middle of the pond, Kyle was
doing backflips off a small wooden raft into the water, laughing and
hooting as he broke the surface of the water.

Forge crossed his ankles and lay back under the shade of the large
tree. For the moment, he was trying to relax, but found himself
unable. He figured that if he pretended long enough, eventually
something would come.

Or someone, considering that sooner or later everyone seemed to come by the
pond to have a good time and Dani was no exception. It wasn't quite warm
enough to swim yet and she wasn't really interested in playing with Kyle.
"Hahkota," she said, sitting down on grass next to him. She'd been worried
about him lately, but hadn't had a chance to get him alone to talk. "You
ain't doing so great."

"And here I thought your empathy was on a cooldown after the baby,"
Forge said, not looking at Dani. "Supposed to be coming out here to
relax, instead I just feel like I'm running away from problems, you
know?"

Dani ignored his comment about her empathy, because while he was right it
hadn't turned off and he was broadcasting. Loudly. With exclamation points.
Really, she would have had to be blind, deaf and dumb to not notice.
"There's a difference between avoiding problems and just not being able to
do anything about them. Ain't running if you can't fix them."

"I can't do anything about Charlie," he said finally, staring intently
at a blade of grass he held between his fingers. "It's just coming to
terms that there was nothing I could have done. It's feeling angry,
then being guilty about angry, and then missing him, which just makes
me angry again." Frowning, Forge absently wrapped the long blade of
grass through his fingers, tying intricate knots.

"You feel like you got left behind," Dani replied, sounding more like she
felt that way than she thought Forge did. "but it ain't your time so you
gotta live your life until you see them again. And it don't matter how much
you beg, bargain, or pray, they ain't coming back. And you never stop
missing them or loving them."

"And just keep on wondering how someone so smart could do something so
stupid," Forge agreed, leaning back against the tree. "I wonder how
often people keep saying that about me. And then it keeps hitting me
that I've got people who'll listen, people who understand, people who
care - and then when I turn around and screw things up for them? What
then?"

"But you ain't screwing things up," Dani pointed out as she laid with Forge
in the grass. "And anyways, that's the thing with friendship, you generally
forgive people for making mistakes."

Forge rolled to his side, looking at Dani quizzically. "It's just,
I... okay, say you found out that despite everything you've believed
all your life and been told - you're not Cheyenne. Everything
you assumed was wrong, everything you believed was wrong, everything
that forms your self-image of who you are gets revealed as one big
misconception. It'd floor you, right? Now imagine you were responsible
- directly responsible - for someone finding out something that big
about themselves."

Dani was silent. "Why'd you do it, Hahkota?" she asked finally,
turning to look at him slowly.

"I thought it was the right thing to do!" he blurted out, throwing his
hands up in frustration. "I thought it was something important, you
know? Knowing the truth? And I didn't stop to think that it'd
completely mess up how she thinks of herself. It's just..." Forge
pounded the grass with his fist in a gesture of futility. "Aah! Damned
if I do, damned if I don't, I guess."

Without asking, Dani wedged her hand into Forge's pocket and despite
his wide-eyed wiggling, she withdrew his multi-tool and handed it to
him. "Stab the tree, Hahkota," she said solemnly.

Raising an eyebrow in confusion, Forge took the tool, flipping it
around in his hand until the small penknife blade extended, then
reversed it, stabbing it an inch into the bark of the oak tree. "That
supposed to make me feel better?" he asked.

She ignored him, "Now take it out."

Struggling slightly, Forge pulled the knife out of the tree, brushing
flecks of bark and sap off the blade. "This is an object lesson, isn't
it? I'm not getting it."

Shooting him an annoyed glance, she continued. "Remove the hole, Hahkota."

"I... okay, I can't." Forge looked crestfallen. "It's the same thing
Professor Xavier told me. Can't unring the bell. I screwed up, I can't
fix it. I get it, I suck. Good lesson," he said sarcastically.

"No...that's not it. Yeah, you can't fix it, but if you come back in
six months or next year, that hole will be gone. The tree can heal
itself, if you let it." Sometimes, life truly was this simple.

Forge let that sink in. "But people aren't trees. I don't care
when I see a hole in a tree. When my friend's hurting, I want to
do something."

"You already did something though," Dani pointed out, trying not to
sound like she was judging him, "I'm not saying you gotta avoid her
for the next year, but you gotta give her time to adjust and to heal.
To make her own choices...since you took that choice away from her
once already."

"Time I can do. You're right, I shouldn't push." He tucked his knees
up, wrapping his arms around them defensively and looking through his
hair at Dani. "So what about you? You're sounding a lot better lately.
All big-sisterish again and less with the wacko crazy."

"I...I sound less crazy?" his comment took her aback. She hadn't
really thought about things recently, like her powers. It just hadn't
seemed like such an issue for some reason, "I still feel
emotions...but they're muted somehow. I don't know," Dani shrugged,
unable to explain, "I ain't doing anything differently."

"Doctors said that the hormones from the pregnancy were playing all
sorts of hell with your powers. Now you're getting back to as normal
as you get, I guess." Forge smiled, the first honest show of positive
emotion he'd had in the last few days. "It's... nice."

Dani blushed, surprised by the compliment. "I...so, you think you'll
be okay? Not today, probably not tomorrow, but in general? I don't
gotta sit on you or anything? 'Cause I don't think you could move my
fat butt."

Forge pondered that for a long while. "I think ... I think I'll be
different. I know things are different now. As for okay... I suppose I
can make things okay."

Dani nodded and curled up slightly next to Forge, "That's all you
gotta do," she replied, yawning. A nap sounded good right now.

Forge instinctively tucked an arm around Dani, leaning back against
the tree and closing his eyes to feel the sun dance across his face
through the leaves. Tomorrow would be another day gone, but today...
today was okay.