Jean and Nathan, Sunday afternoon
Jul. 24th, 2005 03:15 pmJean and Nathan share a moment out on the lawn on Sunday afternoon, after getting some much-needed sleep. They reflect a little on the events of the night before, and some of the implications for both of them.
Nathan was on his (rather slow) way back from the boathouse when he saw Jean sitting cross-legged on the lawn. He couldn't help noticing that while she was nowhere near the lake, she had picked a spot with a rather good view of it. "Nice day, isn't it?" Nathan murmured as he settled down on the grass beside her, moving rather carefully. The lightheadedness was a bit of a pain.
Jean turned to look at him, giving him a small nod. "Incongruously nice, yes. How are you doing?"
"Tired. Not like last night... this morning, whatever that was, but I'm not feeling all that ambitious." Putting it mildly, really. He was surprised he'd made it out here. Nathan blinked at her. "Did you sleep? I seem to have misplaced nine hours or so..."
"There was sleep. It was not particularly restful, and I came this close to sedating Scott and myself, but there was sleep in the end." She shrugged slightly.
"I was wondering how long it would take him to collapse," was Nathan's quietly wry response. "I don't think I'd have been able to keep pacing even if I'd wanted to."
"Mmm," Jean agreed. "Am going to have to get in touch with Dr. Rosenberg, soon. Soonish. Just... don't have the energy now."
Nathan looked sideways at her for a long moment, thinking about the previous night, and one moment that no one else in the room had noticed, given that they were all very much preoccupied with disappearing patients and sudden miracles. "I knew what you were doing," he said obliquely. "When you started to come over to me, at the... end. When we thought it was the end."
Her lips thinned, the corners turning down into a frown. "I've felt too many people die in hospitals, Nathan. It's... it's not a fun thing, and that was always simply peripherally. If you had still been in her mind when it had happened..."
Nathan raised a hand, shaking his head. "No, I didn't... mean it that way," he said, mustering a slightly awkward smile. "I've felt people die before, Jean. I can't not have, with the life I've led. I just... I suppose I wanted you to know that I knew what you were going to do. And it's good, because I don't... know that I could have let go."
"Yes," Jean said, some of the tension leaving her shoulders. "I could practically see you, even when I was only watching through David's eyes. You were more in Alison than you were in you, then." There wasn't a better way to explain that, but he would know what she meant.
"Just... didn't want to let go. And when Charles took over keeping everyone else from noticing, it meant I could hold on with everything I had..." Nathan let the air in his lungs out on a sigh. It hadn't been enough in the end, but something else had. Which was good enough for him. "This is not," he said after a pause, "a weekend I want to do over anytime soon."
"I know you didn't. I didn't, either, but... at some point, after long enough working in hospitals, you learn when you just... have to. When the fight isn't going to help anymore. When there's nothing else you can do." Crossing her arms over her knees, Jean rested her chin on them, staring back out across the lawn towards the lake. "Agree with you there. This is going right up there on the 'things we should not do again, ever' list."
Nathan tilted his head to the side, rubbing at the back of his neck. "I hate this part of it all," he murmured. "Winding back down afterwards, or trying to." He glanced at Jean, smiling a little. "You have the look of someone thinking deep thoughts."
A faint smile tugged at the corner of Jean's mouth, but it didn't last long. "Caught me there, yes." She hesitated a second, then went on. "What would you say if I said I was thinking about getting properly on the team again?"
"I'd say I've been expecting to hear that from you for a while now, so I am completely unsurprised," Nathan replied amiably. They had spent far too much time over the last few months in close mental contact for her comment to startle him in the slightest. "I would also say that I don't envy you needing to break that news to Scott."
"Hence, deep thoughts." Jean fell silent, comfortable enough with Nathan's presence to not feel any need to keep conversation going. After a few seconds, though, and seemingly out of nowhere, she asked, "Am I the only one who simultaneously wants to shake Illyana and Amanda and hug them until they can't breathe?"
"Why the shaking?" Nathan asked after a moment.
"They worked a miracle. An honest to God miracle, that no one else could have done. No one. And it so easily could have gone so wrong. Major healings are such a drain on Amanda..." She trailed off. then shook her head. "I'm also a little disturbed by the trend our students seem to be developing for kidnapping their teachers for medical reasons, but that's more of an aside."
"I don't argue with miracles anymore," Nathan said. "Sometimes they're the only thing that saves our asses." He surprised himself with a cough that turned into two, then three, before he could catch his breath. "Gah," he said, wheezing a little. "That would be Mr. Virus telling me that I did push a little too hard yesterday, I think."
"Not arguing with it, honestly not. Just... Well, I can't even wish they would have thought it through more, because there wasn't time. Hence the equal parts desire to hug them breathless." She turned back to him with a worried look when he started coughing. "Going to be ok?" she asked.
"Fine... just need to go back in and emulate a lump for a while longer, I think," Nathan said, giving her a tired smile. "Like I told Scott once, it's when I start gasping for air and choking up blood that you need to worry. This is just the bug being vindictive because I ignored it last night."
"Off to bed with you, then," Jean agreed. "And I'll keep that in mind."
"I like it where I am," Nathan said whimsically, and when she raised an eyebrow at him, chuckled softly. "I'll go. But before I do..." He hesitated, but then shrugged mentally. She would sort things out with Scott, and he doubted that the younger man would hold a grudge because Nathan happened to be helping his girlfriend, even if it was to do something that Scott himself wouldn't be enthusiastic about. "If you want to step up our training sessions, I could do that. More practice never hurts, especially when you have a specific goal in mind."
"Very much taking you up on that," Jean told him. "I think I'm very close to a breakthrough on using my tk intentionally, and after that it's just strength training for my brain."
"Oh?" Nathan said, regarding her with interest - that rapidly turned into understanding. "On the 'Bird, on the way to the hospital. I felt your telekinesis manipulating the lines of force." He looked a bit bemused. "I hadn't stopped to think about that."
"Mm-hm. Trust me, took me a while to work out that I'd been doing that, too. But... I think it's a good sign. You know, tapping into it without destroying any rooms or anything."
"Good sign? I'd say it was an excellent sign." Nathan gave her a thoughtful look. "You need to come link with me when I'm working in the kitchen sometime. So you can feel what unconscious non-boom-making TK use feels like, patterns-wise."
"Sounds like a plan. But not now. Now you need to sleep."
Nathan smiled. "Nag," he chided her lightly, hauling himself to his feet with a groan. "Ugh," he said, swaying a little. "Elevator for me, I think, when I get inside. Stairs are the enemy." He looked down at her. "You going to be all right out here?"
"Card carrying, yes. Comes with the medical degree - the right to hassle any and everyone about not taking care of themselves." Jean shrugged lightly. "I'll be fine. Promise I won't brood too long."
"Good. Much better things to do than brood," he said whimsically, turning back towards the mansion. "If your imagination is failing you I imagine Scott could supply a few options."
Jean snorted. "Oh sure, just because there should be this whole 'reaffirming life' thing after a life or death scare. If you don't get out of here I'm going to shove you down the hill."
Nathan was on his (rather slow) way back from the boathouse when he saw Jean sitting cross-legged on the lawn. He couldn't help noticing that while she was nowhere near the lake, she had picked a spot with a rather good view of it. "Nice day, isn't it?" Nathan murmured as he settled down on the grass beside her, moving rather carefully. The lightheadedness was a bit of a pain.
Jean turned to look at him, giving him a small nod. "Incongruously nice, yes. How are you doing?"
"Tired. Not like last night... this morning, whatever that was, but I'm not feeling all that ambitious." Putting it mildly, really. He was surprised he'd made it out here. Nathan blinked at her. "Did you sleep? I seem to have misplaced nine hours or so..."
"There was sleep. It was not particularly restful, and I came this close to sedating Scott and myself, but there was sleep in the end." She shrugged slightly.
"I was wondering how long it would take him to collapse," was Nathan's quietly wry response. "I don't think I'd have been able to keep pacing even if I'd wanted to."
"Mmm," Jean agreed. "Am going to have to get in touch with Dr. Rosenberg, soon. Soonish. Just... don't have the energy now."
Nathan looked sideways at her for a long moment, thinking about the previous night, and one moment that no one else in the room had noticed, given that they were all very much preoccupied with disappearing patients and sudden miracles. "I knew what you were doing," he said obliquely. "When you started to come over to me, at the... end. When we thought it was the end."
Her lips thinned, the corners turning down into a frown. "I've felt too many people die in hospitals, Nathan. It's... it's not a fun thing, and that was always simply peripherally. If you had still been in her mind when it had happened..."
Nathan raised a hand, shaking his head. "No, I didn't... mean it that way," he said, mustering a slightly awkward smile. "I've felt people die before, Jean. I can't not have, with the life I've led. I just... I suppose I wanted you to know that I knew what you were going to do. And it's good, because I don't... know that I could have let go."
"Yes," Jean said, some of the tension leaving her shoulders. "I could practically see you, even when I was only watching through David's eyes. You were more in Alison than you were in you, then." There wasn't a better way to explain that, but he would know what she meant.
"Just... didn't want to let go. And when Charles took over keeping everyone else from noticing, it meant I could hold on with everything I had..." Nathan let the air in his lungs out on a sigh. It hadn't been enough in the end, but something else had. Which was good enough for him. "This is not," he said after a pause, "a weekend I want to do over anytime soon."
"I know you didn't. I didn't, either, but... at some point, after long enough working in hospitals, you learn when you just... have to. When the fight isn't going to help anymore. When there's nothing else you can do." Crossing her arms over her knees, Jean rested her chin on them, staring back out across the lawn towards the lake. "Agree with you there. This is going right up there on the 'things we should not do again, ever' list."
Nathan tilted his head to the side, rubbing at the back of his neck. "I hate this part of it all," he murmured. "Winding back down afterwards, or trying to." He glanced at Jean, smiling a little. "You have the look of someone thinking deep thoughts."
A faint smile tugged at the corner of Jean's mouth, but it didn't last long. "Caught me there, yes." She hesitated a second, then went on. "What would you say if I said I was thinking about getting properly on the team again?"
"I'd say I've been expecting to hear that from you for a while now, so I am completely unsurprised," Nathan replied amiably. They had spent far too much time over the last few months in close mental contact for her comment to startle him in the slightest. "I would also say that I don't envy you needing to break that news to Scott."
"Hence, deep thoughts." Jean fell silent, comfortable enough with Nathan's presence to not feel any need to keep conversation going. After a few seconds, though, and seemingly out of nowhere, she asked, "Am I the only one who simultaneously wants to shake Illyana and Amanda and hug them until they can't breathe?"
"Why the shaking?" Nathan asked after a moment.
"They worked a miracle. An honest to God miracle, that no one else could have done. No one. And it so easily could have gone so wrong. Major healings are such a drain on Amanda..." She trailed off. then shook her head. "I'm also a little disturbed by the trend our students seem to be developing for kidnapping their teachers for medical reasons, but that's more of an aside."
"I don't argue with miracles anymore," Nathan said. "Sometimes they're the only thing that saves our asses." He surprised himself with a cough that turned into two, then three, before he could catch his breath. "Gah," he said, wheezing a little. "That would be Mr. Virus telling me that I did push a little too hard yesterday, I think."
"Not arguing with it, honestly not. Just... Well, I can't even wish they would have thought it through more, because there wasn't time. Hence the equal parts desire to hug them breathless." She turned back to him with a worried look when he started coughing. "Going to be ok?" she asked.
"Fine... just need to go back in and emulate a lump for a while longer, I think," Nathan said, giving her a tired smile. "Like I told Scott once, it's when I start gasping for air and choking up blood that you need to worry. This is just the bug being vindictive because I ignored it last night."
"Off to bed with you, then," Jean agreed. "And I'll keep that in mind."
"I like it where I am," Nathan said whimsically, and when she raised an eyebrow at him, chuckled softly. "I'll go. But before I do..." He hesitated, but then shrugged mentally. She would sort things out with Scott, and he doubted that the younger man would hold a grudge because Nathan happened to be helping his girlfriend, even if it was to do something that Scott himself wouldn't be enthusiastic about. "If you want to step up our training sessions, I could do that. More practice never hurts, especially when you have a specific goal in mind."
"Very much taking you up on that," Jean told him. "I think I'm very close to a breakthrough on using my tk intentionally, and after that it's just strength training for my brain."
"Oh?" Nathan said, regarding her with interest - that rapidly turned into understanding. "On the 'Bird, on the way to the hospital. I felt your telekinesis manipulating the lines of force." He looked a bit bemused. "I hadn't stopped to think about that."
"Mm-hm. Trust me, took me a while to work out that I'd been doing that, too. But... I think it's a good sign. You know, tapping into it without destroying any rooms or anything."
"Good sign? I'd say it was an excellent sign." Nathan gave her a thoughtful look. "You need to come link with me when I'm working in the kitchen sometime. So you can feel what unconscious non-boom-making TK use feels like, patterns-wise."
"Sounds like a plan. But not now. Now you need to sleep."
Nathan smiled. "Nag," he chided her lightly, hauling himself to his feet with a groan. "Ugh," he said, swaying a little. "Elevator for me, I think, when I get inside. Stairs are the enemy." He looked down at her. "You going to be all right out here?"
"Card carrying, yes. Comes with the medical degree - the right to hassle any and everyone about not taking care of themselves." Jean shrugged lightly. "I'll be fine. Promise I won't brood too long."
"Good. Much better things to do than brood," he said whimsically, turning back towards the mansion. "If your imagination is failing you I imagine Scott could supply a few options."
Jean snorted. "Oh sure, just because there should be this whole 'reaffirming life' thing after a life or death scare. If you don't get out of here I'm going to shove you down the hill."