xp_logs | Log: Forge & Kylun, in the gym

Backdated to last Tuesday, before Forge has heard the news about Charlie. Down in the weight room (yes, he knows where it is!) he has other concerns on his mind, and finds a welcome and wise ear to air them to.

Forge brought his hands down in front of his face again, trying to
keep his back straight and elbows slightly bent as he pulled the bar
down, feeling the resistance. Two breaths in and out, then provide
resistance back as gravity pulled the weights down, the cable
followed, the pulley turned, the bar rose. Forge figured that as long
as he could think of the weight machine as a simple conglomeration of
engineering concepts, the burn in his shoulders would fade.

The physical therapy was progressing well, Dr. Grey had told him. His
artificial arm was up to even muscle strength with his flesh-and-blood
one, but both of which were still less than the average teenage male
of his height and build. The kicker had come when he'd seen Jubilee
working this machine with 45 pounds of resistance the other week.

Forge was struggling at thirty.

Slowly releasing the bar with a sigh, he wiped his forehead with a
towel and replaced his glasses, frowning as his body heat made them
instantly fog up. As he cleaned them, he noticed a blurred form
engaged in some form of martial arts kata. When his vision cleared, he
could make out Kylun at the end of the gym.

Taking a deep breath, Forge got to his feet and walked across the gym,
stretching his shoulders as he went. This wasn't going to be easy, but
Kylun was probably the only adult he could talk to right now.

Kylun paused his workout as Forge came closer, greeting the boy with a
curious smile. Forge had always been something of a puzzle to him,
even his mutation marking him as belonging completely to a world Kylun
was still coming to grips with. Still, he was good-hearted,
principled, and loyal to his friends, which in Kylun's opinion
transcended all other differences. "Is there something I can help you
with, Forge?" He glanced over at the weight machine. "Your exercise
technique is fine; with time and patience you will see all the
improvement you could wish . . ."

"Thanks, I mean... really? It's not something I'm used to. Good to
know I'm..." Forge stopped, holding his hands up. "I'm sorry, I don't
mean to be rude, but I really need to talk to you about something
else. And you're... well, you're about the only adult around here that
I think can help, and you seem to really have your head on straight
about this stuff." He paused, then slumped into a crouch against the
gym wall, running a hand through his hair, pulling his ponytail out
and shaking his head. Looking up through a curtain of sweaty hair, he
met Kylun's eyes.

"Have you ever thought you were doing the right thing for someone, and
it ended up hurting them more than you ever thought you could?"

Kylun nodded soberly. "I think only those who have never known
friends, have never hurt them, but there are few self-damnations as
scathing as 'I was only trying to help.' Even if you did what was
right, you must still face your friend's pain." He gave Forge a
shrewd look. "Catseye has been very quiet lately," he observed, no
censure in his tone. "Unusually so, for her."

"Wow, you are good..." Forge mused, nodding in agreement. "I...
I suppose I can tell you. A woman came by here a few months ago. Had a
paper about a missing cat - she was looking for Catseye. I traced the
number, did some deep research through public records, trawled through
everything I could find, even begged some time on the mainframe from
Mr. Summers." He threw his head back to clear his hair out of his
face, smiling slightly at his own cleverness.

"She's got a family, Mr. Kylun. A human family. And I managed to track
them down. And I told her - I didn't think about it. I didn't realize
she's built her entire life around thinking of herself as a cat, as a
simple animal. To her, humans are these complex things that act all
stupid and foolish. Now she knows, and it's completely wrecked how she
sees herself."

He looked down at the floor, ashamed. "She's barely said anything to
me since then, not words anyway."

"No, I would imagine that she has not," Kylun murmured, stroking his
chin thoughtfully. "For what it is worth, I believe you did the right
thing. To know,
and not tell her, to deceive her in that way, would not have been
the act of a friend." He smiled wryly. "Catseye would not, I think, agree,
but she is in pain, and we have lately agreed that those in pain are not
wholly rational, have we not?"

"I don't know if I'd call her rational on her good days," Forge
agreed, "but you're right. I should have asked her before I started
poking around - but I didn't know for certain it'd go anywhere, you
know? I just... how do I make it right?"

"For now--only wait, I think. A hard test has come to Catseye, perhaps
before she was ready to face it; but that cannot now be changed, and
now the only way forward for her is through that test. Our part is to
look out for her, and hope for her; she can only make this right by herself,
by finding the balance between what she has always believed and what
she now knows."

Kylun's face softened. "I know this is not what you had hoped for; I
wish I could give you simple directions, a foolproof way to earn her
forgiveness. But Catseye must decide who she is, before the
question of what the two of you are to each other can be raised.
I do not think we can help her there--I do not think she would
accept help. The ball, as it is said here, is in her court."
He sighed softly, nostrils flaring. "I will be watching out for her; she
may come to me, as her anger has stopped her from going to you,
and if she does, I will do what I can. I do not think your friendship is
broken beyond repair."

"You'd do that?" Forge asked, a look of surprise washing over him,
quickly replaced by apology. "I mean, of course you would. I'm sorry,
I'm still getting used to the idea of adults who understand and help
like this. I just wish there was something I could do, you know? If
she decides she wants to know more, I can help - but I can't help her
un-know what she's learned."

Kylun smiled wryly. "I am still growing used to the idea that someone
could be so used to adult indifference that he takes it for granted,
so we could say we are even there. I do not know what there is
to do, beyond waiting for Catseye to come to terms with herself, only
. . ." He lifted his head, an idea striking. "Only that perhaps you
could tell Professor Xavier what you have learned, and how Catseye has
reacted, and ask his advice. He is far wiser than I, and may be able
to think of an answer I cannot--and in any case, we are all in his
charge here. He should know that his students are in distress."

"You're right," Forge agreed. "the Professor's liable to have an
answer, or at least a good idea where to start." He thought for a
moment, then stood up, trying to look as dignified as possible despite
his disheveled and sweaty condition. "Mr. Kylun, um... thanks. I know
a lot of stuff you adults do around here goes without any kind of
recognition but... like you said, some of us are used to adults being
indifferent, or worse. I just wanted to let you know, well, thanks."

"I only wish I could do more. The frustration of helplessness does
not diminish with age." Kylun also stood, and after a moment offered
Forge his hand. "Thank you for coming to me. Your trust
honors me."

Forge shook the taller man's hand, then subtly nodded towards the
weight machine. "I *am* getting the hang of it, you know. It's just
slow, is all. I think it's the universe's way of teaching me
patience."