xp_logs | LOG: Manuel and Kitty - An (Unwanted) Intervention, Of Sorts.

Manuel and Kitty are out sunbathing. He doesn't like what he feels inside of her, so he endeavors to help her change it the way deadheads do. He gets mixed results. Maybe, someday, she'll talk to him again.

Kitty had originally come out fully intending to swim, but it was warm and sunny and the deck chairs had lured her in with their promise of having nothing whatsoever to do but lie in the sun and turn slightly brown. So she'd stretched out and entered the lovely not-asleep-so-I-don't-burn-but-not-really-awake state that was just perfect for lying in the sun.

Manuel emerged from the kitchen, having much the same idea as Katherine. A little sun would do his mood _wonders_. So he staked out the second-sunniest spot - settling for it only because the most sunny spot had a rather pale girl he was rather fond of basking in it. Leaning back in one of the deck chairs, he peeled himself out of his shirt and slacks, leaving him with just Speedos and his disgustingly expensive omnipresent sunglasses. Experimentally, as his body relaxed he let his mind relax as well to go where it would and feel what it would.

Mmmmm, sun, was just about the only coherent thing Kitty could come up with, just now. She wasn't even awake enough to have noticed someone else come out to the pool, although given how nice they day was, she wouldn't have been surprised if the entire school flocked out there. Although she was very glad they hadn't.

Manuel glanced over towards Katherine, noting with amusement that she was in a very attractive bathing suit. Not something he'd have ever thought she'd put on. Guess Jamie was good for her in more than one way. With a snort of amusement, he propped his head up and relaxed himself a little more, letting his mind spin free. Mostly, the feeling of the Mansion was a good one - summer, frivolity and happiness. But out of the corner of his eye he kept seeing a dark strand running through Kathernine's emotions.

It wasn't even something she was aware of. Kitty's mind was full of peace and calm and joy at the sunlight. If asked, she'd answer truthfully that the world was a wonderful place and she was thrilled to be in it. Which was not to say that, if asked about other things the answer might not be rather... different.

The more Manuel pondered that dark thread, the more it irritated him. Finally, he had Had Enough. He knew repressed emotions when he saw them, and underneath the girl's positive facade she was positively _seething_. He doubted that she even recognized it, but if she continued to let it eat away at her dark places, she'd wind up just like her friend Paige. And Manuel wasn't about to let that happen. So he stood up and moved over to the chair closest to hers. "Hola." He said cheerfully.

Kitty blinked her eyes open, the blinked them shut just as fast – even through her shades the sun was still bright. "Hey, Manuel, how goes?" she asked, turning her head towards him and cracking her eyes open again. Speedo? Speedo.

Manuel couldn't help but grin - the Speedo, especially the ones he favored that left little to the imagination, almost always got a reaction from the ladies. Usually a very positive one. "Katherine" he said, stretching himself out in the chair next to hers. The sun wasn't
nearly as good here as it was in his old spot, but he could talk to her fairly privately here. "How are you feeling today?" he asked.

Kitty rolled over in the chair, letting the sun fall on her back as well as making it possible to pillow her head on her arms to look at him. "Mmmm, today is an excellent day," she said, halfway purring like a proper cat curled up in the sun.

"Is it, now?" he asked her with a small smile. Maybe someday she'd forgive him for what he was about to do. "Doesn't feel like that from where I'm sitting. You've got an anger in you, Katherine Pryde, and I would hate to see it eat you until you had nothing left inside."

Kitty blinked at him, then blinked again. "What are you talking about?" she asked eventually, confusion coming into her aura in spades.

"You." he said bluntly. "Why are you so angry inside?"

"I'm... not?" Kitty hazarded. "Why would I be angry? It's a good day."

"Don't lie to me, Katherine, and don't lie to yourself. I'm talking about _this_." he said, and behind his sunglasses his eyes glowed red as he touched the buried thread of anger inside of her. "What about _this_ anger?"

As he touched the anger in her heart it flared up and the quizzical remnants of her smile vanished instantly as her eyes narrowed. Of course, with no one to focus that anger on, none of the causes, it left Manuel sitting out there in the open as a perfect target. "What
of it?"

"That's it..." he said softly. "Get it out. Look at your anger. Don't bury it. Why are you angry, Katherine Pryde? What burns inside of you?"

But she couldn't. The people she was angry and hurt about weren't here, or weren't to blame, or weren't in a position she could deal with it anyway. Her hands clenched into fists before she rolled over again and sat up, wrapping her arms around her knees and hiding her face. "What the hell, Manny?" she asked, shoulders shaking as she fought to get herself back under control. "Why?" And there was definitely anger in her voice at him, now.

Manuel swatted that anger aside. "You're not angry with me. I want you to tell me who it is you are angry with." he said insistently. "I don't want you to give me excuses, and I don't want to hear more lies. I want to know _who you are angry with_. Confront your anger!"

"Why do you want to know?" she almost shouted at him. "Why does it matter?" The anger was all tied up with hurt and betrayal, more of it becoming clear as she came more and more undone. And saying she wasn't angry at him was not entirely the whole of it. She was definitely feeling a tad betrayed about this.

Betrayal was a different emotion, and one that Manuel accepted as his due. "No one will care how much you scream right now." he pointed out idly. "And I want to know because I can _SEE_ how much it's eating you up inside! You're one of my only friends, Katherine, and I will NOT stand idly by and watch as you slowly destroy yourself! Do you want to end up down in Iso like someone else we could name?"

"Damnit, Manny!" In one quick move she was on her feet, the deck chair knocked to the side, and she wanted to run, wanted to hide. Didn't want to deal with this. But she didn't run, and she wasn't even sure why not. Maybe it was because he'd called her a friend, and it was a big step for him, and maybe because she knew he was right. Or maybe simply because she didn't know where she could go.

Manuel jumped up to his feet to match her. And despite the seriousness of the moment, despite the riot of emotions ripping through her head, he took a quick moment and just ... admired her. Her dancer's build, the sleek play of muscles in her leg, her smallish chest. "Good! Now you're feeling it. Now tell me about it. What burns you up inside? I want to know, I want to help..." he said carefully.

"It won't do any good," she told him, tears of frustration slipping from the corners of her eyes. "They go away and they come back and there's nothing I can do about it, so why bother?"

"Oh, and cramming it all inside until it poisons you _will_?" he said sarcastically. "That's a brilliant plan, genius! Just let it all out. Tell Empath all about it. Let me help you..." he said, moving in for a hug, if she would permit it.

Kitty shoved at the tears on her cheeks, not noticing the nail prints that had been pressed into her palms. "Nothing helps," she told him, letting him wrap his arms around her and trying to stop her shaking. "But at least I can not feel it for a while."

"Wrong answer." he said. "Tell me about it?" he said, steering the both of them to plant their barely-covered butts in a patio chair. He looked at her, into her mind and her emotions, teasing out the dark roots of the acidic anger that was gnawing at her. "Abandonment" he said finally. "You feel abandoned. Why is that?"

"Why does anyone feel abandoned?" she shot back, the anger making her sarcastic. "Because people leave. They always leave. At least I get to be in the oh-so-enviable position of having them come back whenever the fuck they feel like it, too" Kitty sniffed.

Manuel followed that feeling back, putting every scrap of hinted knowledge that Charles and Lusanya had given him on the topic. "Doctor Grey?" he guessed, knowing that that wasn't the full extent of it. "Asgard." he guessed again. "Who else has abandoned you?" he asked her.

"Who hasn't?" she replied, sniffing again. "Betsy, Storm, my parents. Everybody goes away." And, of course, there was Dr. Essex. Possibly the biggest betrayal of them all, and the one she spent the most time devotedly Not thinking about. Particularly as she wasn't sure if she was more angry with him for what he'd done, or hurt that he'd left her.

Manuel could feel that she was holding back something – something important. The core of the problem. "Elizabeth - if you wanted to rip out her brain with an ice-cream scoop, I would gladly hold the bowl for you. Storm has taken no leave that I am aware of. And when it comes to parents, I am far from a good judge. My mother died when I was twelve, and my father was assassinated not too long ago. I understand how you feel, though. The blind anger towards those who profess to love you, the staggering resentment that when you needed them the most, they deserted you. I _know_, Kathernine. I know _exactly_ how you feel." he told her.

"Grand," Kitty muttered, the sarcasm evident in her voice. "Misery loves company, right, so that's wonderful." She'd considered it more a matter of hurt than anger, but the anger was impossible to deny, now that he'd made her face up to it. Not an anger that sought revenge, but a formless, directionless anger that was all the worse because she knew she was being unreasonable, that it was no fairer to blame Betsy and Storm for their need to escape the mansion for a while than it was to blame Jean for her 'death'.

Manuel looked at Katherine. "I thought it would help, to know that you were not alone in these feelings." he said. "Maybe I was wrong, maybe I'm the monster everyone says I am. But I couldn't stand to let you eat yourself away with those repressed feelings." he said tiredly.

"I just... I just don't know what to do," Kitty managed, her voice shaking. "There isn't anything to do." But even as she said it she knew she was lying, to him and to herself. There were people who could help. People who would help, if only she'd ask. If only she were willing to face up to the fact that she needed to ask.

"You don't believe that." he pointed out. "Lying to yourself is a dangerous habit to be in. Trust me, I know all about it." he said bitterly. "But if you want help - if you want to try to resolve this - there are people you can go to. People who will help, who will not
judge and who will not condemn."

"I was happy not dealing with all of this," she said in a small voice, sniffing again and reaching up to rub at her eyes.

"No, you weren't." he said unkindly, and then offered her a corner of towel to dab at her eyes with. "Not where it counted, not underneath the lies you'd told yourself." he said softly.

"They were good lies. I was fond of thoes lies," Kitty informed him, then sighed. "It worked for me. Most of the time." It was far more of an admission than anyone would have gotten out of her even an hour ago - that sometimes even she wasn't fooled by herself.

Manuel smiled, and then hugged Kitty again. "I'm sorry." he said simply. "I'll leave you be now. I think I've done enough damage here today." he added, and then slowly headed back over to the second-sunniest spot out on the deck. ~You should know better than to
try to help like that.~ he told himself in Castillian. ~It only ends badly.~

Kitty hugged him back, then shivered slightly as he moved away, the sun no longer seeming as warm as it had been an hour ago. Reaching down, she pulled her towel off her deck chair and wrapped it around herself like a blanket and turned to head inside, then paused. Looking back over her shoulder she said, "Thank you, Manuel," before walking
away to find somewhere quiet she could really think about it all.

Manuel stopped for a second as she spoke. He didn't turn to look at her, but he did nod. "You're welcome." he told her, then found his sunbeam to lay out and think about what he had done.