Mothers and daughters

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At home for a while before heading off the Hawaii, Lorna confesses something that she's been keeping from her mother for a while.



Lorna took the pillowcases her mother handed her and frowned over them, not really seeing the 600 thread count label or even the brilliant raspberry color of them. She'd chewed her lip so much that her lipstick had totally worn away. Her mother had been giving her calculating looks for the last hour and was just waiting for her to crack, she was sure of it. "They're okay, I guess."

"You've said that about the last ten or so things I've shown you. Including the bathroom set which had you in such a tizzy last time we were here..." Janice smiled a bit at that, giving Lorna one of those calm 'I know something is bothering you, dear, so just say it' looks she so excelled at. Although, if need be, she was more than ready to select something else for Lorna to inspect.

She had all the time in the world today, and her daughter wasn't going to be keeping this little façade up much longer, in her estimate.

Lorna sighed and ran her hand through her bright green hair, "Do you want to go get a coffee or something? I…I kinda need to talk to you." That was the understatement of the year. Why this was harder than telling them about training or explaining broken bones and dislocated shoulders she didn't know. But the fact that she'd been avoiding it for a year suggested that there was a good reason.

The pillowcase was gently taken from her hands and set neatly back on the shelf where it belonged, and Janice smiled, reaching out to loop one arm through her daughter's before leading her off towards the nearby café in the mall. "Of course, darling," she said softly. If there was a faint tinge of worry to her voice, it was mostly well hidden, muted to the gentle concern and curiosity any parent might show when their child ask them to talk about something clearly serious in nature.

Lorna waited until they'd settled into a corner table with their frothy cappuccinos in front of them. She looked up at her mother, taking in the neat elegance of her attire, the careful way her make up had been done just so, the perfectly complementary shades of her pale pink shirt and her blushed pearls. Lorna had never seen her mother fail. "What happens if I can't do it? I left college last time."

"You left college to go to Xavier's," Janice murmured, completing the action beyond what Lorna had said. "It wasn't easy for us at the time, of course... But your father and I have come to realize that it truly was what was best for you." She took a sip of her cappuccino, delicately so. "And your father has yet to mutter about taking out the shotgun in regards to that young man of yours."

"This trip, you mean," Lorna said dryly. "The point is I couldn't do it and I ran away to do something I had better control over." She had yet to drink from her own cup, just twisted it in nervous fingers. "And this time I have even more to worry about."

A faint smile answered her, for once the traditional 'don't fret so, dear' at the nervous habit remaining unsaid. "But you have more to work for, as well," she pointed out calmly. "And you still have the friends you made at the school, Lorna. I don't doubt any of them might come flying over the second you called them..."

"It's not that it's that…" Lorna took a deep breath, "Didn't you notice at all? I weigh a hundred twenty-seven pounds. Does that seem weird to you at all?" They'd never once mentioned the way her weight had jumped around in the last two years. It was like they didn't see it.

Janice blinked at that, setting her cup of cappuccino down with a slightly jarring sound. "We saw you after you were hurt..." With a wondering look, Janice gazed at Lorna, as though not sure what her daughter was trying to say. "Weight changes are normal after things like that. I tried not to bother you about it. You've always been so self-conscious about your weight and I thought... Well, with everything else going on, you didn't need to feel pressured there, as well."

Lorna laughed without amusement and put her head in her hands. "I'm anorexic, Mom." It was weirdly easy to say. She almost felt like someone else was speaking for her. "I've spent the last year and a half meeting with a nutritionist every week and having monthly physicals and being on meds that Samson gave me."

One hand, visibly trembling, rose to press itself over Janice's mouth, her gaze fixed on Lorna. Expression stricken, realization dawning in her eyes as suddenly not so random bits and pieces of information all clicked together neatly, Janice made a small, sad sound. "Oh, Lorna..."

"I couldn't…I didn't know how to tell you." Her hands were shaking and she clasped them tightly in her lap. "It's not…it really only got bad after the accident. When I couldn't control anything and Alex was gone and…everything. Alison called me on it and we had a pretty major fight. Most people didn't know. They didn't even notice. I weighed less than 100 pounds." She knew the exact number, of course. Couldn't have forgotten if she wanted to but didn't think her mother should know.

The tip of her fingers remained pressed to her mouth for a moment longer, sorrow showing clearly through - and then Janice moved her chair, soundlessly so, settling it next to Lorna before she reached for her daughter's hands, pressing them between her own, equally unsteady. "Oh, darling." Remorse mingled with the sorrow, now. "I never thought... But looking back, I can see now - I'm so so sorry."

Lorna shook her head, not wanting her mother's guilt. "It's not…It wasn't easy to see. But…I'm scared now. Because it's hard--everyday, it's still hard. And that's just now. What happens when I get to school and it's all so much harder?" She leaned into her mother's shoulder.

The response was immediate - Janice let go of Lorna's hands in favor of wrapping both arms around her, pulling her in even closer. And then kissed the top of her head lightly, resting her cheek atop it afterwards. "Well, I guess that just means I'll have to come and visit you and Alex more often, yes? And your father as well, after he's convinced to leave the shotgun at home." A small, watery laugh followed. "This would be a good time to mention all those calling cards I've been buying up for you two, wouldn't it? So you can call us at home. And you can call your friends at the school too..."

Lorna laughed though it was nearly a sob, "Mom, you have heard of cellphones right? Free long distance and everything." She shifted and wrapped her arms around her mother's shoulders, sniffling slightly and clinging. "But yeah, you have to visit. You can get a little bikini and give Daddy a heart attack then convince him to retire on the beach."

"I hear those give you cancer," Janice murmured with mock solemnity. "The cellphones, not the bikinis of course," she then added, with impeccable timing, the shadows in her eyes still present at what she'd just learned, though for now, ensuring Lorna knew that somehow it would be all right was the most important thing to do. She patted Lorna's hair lightly, fussily tucking a stray stand behind her ear and not letting go in the least.